“Dara… he ran away. Seunghyun ran away” Chaerin carefully said like each word she spits equates to a knife stab in my heart

My mind won’t work. I refuse to believe that this is happening.  

Seunghyun

They said Seunghyun ran away. He ran away on the day of our supposedly wedding. He bailed me and left me to face everybody in shame. The man who promised me a life together is nowhere to be found.

I’m holding my tears. I don’t want to break down in front of everyone here and even when I want to scream and throw a fit, I can’t. I don’t know what to do. I couldn’t move much more utter a word. Even taking a breath is arduous. Why? I can’t think of any reason why he would do this and of all people I never expected him to do this to me.

“Dara” My mom said in a soft voice. She wanted to hug me but I can’t bring myself to move. Not even an inch. The news froze my entire body in shock.

“W-wher-where did h-he go?” I asked my mom in a dire tone not looking at her eyes or anyone surrounding me because I know their pitiful eyes will try to comfort me and that’s the last thing I would want to feel right now. I don’t need anyone’s comfort. I don’t need their sympathetic words telling me everything’s going to be alright because it won’t.

Chaerin sighed and took a step closer to me reaching out for my arm “We have no idea, Dara. Youngbae went to his room to tell him it’s already time for the wedding but no one answered behind the doors so he opened it but Seunghyun’s already gone”

“Maybe he just went to the rest room or maybe he forgot something from home so he rushed way back. Or he’s not feeling well he went to the hospital. Or maybe he’s just pulling a prank or some kind of a surprise. You know him. He loves doing that to annoy me” I’m not sure what I’m saying either. It’s more of like convincing myself rather than them that this is just some kind of a planned act. I kept looking around expecting that he will come out somewhere from the corners of the church but no one’s showing up except the intrigued and confused guests inside the hall.

My knees wobble from the frailty; I could pass out any minute now.

“We tried calling him Dara but he’s out of reach”

That alarmed me somehow bringing my sanity back. A pinch of uneasiness built up inside me “What if he got into an accident, Chaerin? That’s why he’s not here and none of your calls can reach him?”

Chaerin shook her head not knowing what to reply anymore. It was my mom who talked to me in return “Dara… let’s just cancel your wedding okay? Let’s go home” I looked at her in wide eyes

“Why are we going to cancel it? Everyone’s here! I’m pretty sure Seunghyun just caught up into something. He’s going to come. He’s just late”

We waited for another five minutes before the priest came over “I think it’s best if we postpone the wedding for now so Dara could take a rest” he said to my mom

“No. Seunghyun’s going to come” I firmly declared and the priest couldn’t help but to sigh in resignation and no one dared to talk.

Not from too far, I see Youngbae running towards where were sitting. While catching up on his breathe he handed me a white envelope “Dara, I saw t-this when I rummage through his apartment. It was inside his drawer.”

So Seunghyun must have really planned not to come after all

I can only look at the envelope Youngbae is handing me. I’m not sure if I can read whatever that letter contains that might speak of the truth behind his no show act. I can’t bring myself to read it when I’m still in denial of what’s happening because I know when I opened and start reading that letter it will only pop this deluded bubble I’m confining myself that he’s indeed gone and I don’t have the strength to accept such fact especially when everything seems so well between us.

Seunghyun and I have been in a relationship for 6 years now. We’ve been through tough times during college and we’re each other’s source of motivation to get through the hells of law school. He’s my constant inspiration as I am to him to keep going when days get rough. There won’t be a day we don’t talk of our future – the future that both of us were in. In every aspect of it, we see in that life. That’s why when he proposed a marriage life to me; I did not even have any second thoughts.

“I’m going to marry you whatever your response will be. Even if you say no, I’m going to ask you over and over again just so I could get a yes from you. And if-“

His words got cut when I hugged him tight. Before I know it, I was already crying.

“. What makes you think I’m not going to say yes? I can’t believe you even considered me saying that!” I said while punching his back lightly

Seunghyun could only chuckle. He squeezed me in a tigher hug before release me and cup my face.

“There are so many things I want to say to you right now. I want to thank you for everything; from the day you lend me your pen during our 1^st year in college” He laughed at that memory

“For being my bestfriend and eventually becoming the best girlfriend a man could ever wish to have; for constantly understanding me and sticking with me during my ups and downs; for being the person I could always depend on and most of all, for saying yes to be my significant half. Gosh, you’re driving me crazy” he looked away when he wiped a tear from his face “From this day forward, I only vow to make you feel loved every second, every minute, every hour, every day. I love you, Dara. Really”

That made me cry even harder. Seunghyun is the sweetest person I’ve ever known and he’s not afraid of showing it to me.

Everything went so well between us in those years we’ve been together until today. I couldn’t fathom to find out what made him change his mind last minute not to show up.

“I can’t read that letter… not yet. Not now” Tears start to form in the corner of my eyes. I thought I can handle it and keep my cool but when memories of us began to flash before me, I completely lost it. Suddenly, I felt a tear rolling down on my cheek. I wiped it, trying to prevent myself from showing another weakness to the people around me.

“Let’s go home now, Dara. Please” my mom pleads as she pulls me in a hug, caressing my back.

I can only nod because I know if I dare to say a word, I’m going to break

I have no idea how and when we get home or how I end up in my bed. But it feels good not to have anyone around bothering you.

The lonely rays of the moonlight accompany me as I stare blankly in the clear sky through my window pane. The winter breeze embraces me in comfort making sure I wasn’t numb amidst all the events happened today.

I have a lot of questions hanging on my mind and while the truth answers to it might rest in the letter inside the envelope I can’t bring myself to know about it. But if I don’t, I’m going to cling on to this empty hopes I’m building inside of me and it will only lead me nowhere or worst, into self-destruction. Can I do it?

I’m now looking at the letter envelope placed on top of my bedside table. I can never be at peace if I won’t know it by myself. Hesitantly, I opened the light on my head board preparing myself to read the letter that will prolly break my heart in pieces. I reached for the letter and opened it with a throbbing heart that is as intense as the ocean current

Dara,

I’m sorry. I’m sorry that that’s all I could say. For now.

Seunghyun

“What the hell? That’s all what the letter contains?” Bom snapped, totally going hysteric at what I said. Well, that’s what they wanted to know anyway – what did Seunghyun said in the letter.

I sip on the coffee I ordered from earlier purposely looking away in order to avoid being subjected to Bom’s enraged eyes

“That son of a . I swear if I’ve seen him somewhere I’m going to slice his throat in half. Oh my Dara. I couldn’t imagine how you dealt with such ery for the past 4 months”

Has it been 4 months since then? I refuse to believe. Not when the torment of yesterday’s pain still lingers on my skin. I try to wear this carefree façade in front of my friends and my family everyday they see me and while this mask conceal what I don’t want to know, in the process, I’m also learning to make myself believe that I am indeed fine. I kept everything bottled inside me that I no longer know the truth. Have I really succeeded reconciling with that ordeal?

 “Bom, you cursed him more than Dara ever did. Were you the one who got bailed?” Chaerin asked before rolling her eyes.

“Yah. Are you for real? I don’t have to be on Dara’s shoes to be angry. Any rational and pragmatic person would do the same. Aren’t you mad that that douche ran away on your sister’s wedding?” Bom barked back

“I didn’t say I wasn’t mad. You could be mad within shouting and bring everyone’s attention to us in this café. It’s embarrassing!” Chaerin tried to hide her face with the strands of her hair

Bom fanned herself before sipping on the tea she ordered “So, how’s your new school? I can’t really believe you at times. Why do you have to transfer school when you’re about to graduate. It’s not like every corner of the campus will remind you of him”

“How can that not remind her of him? That’s where they practically met! That’s where it all started. Gosh, you’re really a masochist”

“Well, if she really wanted to move on from that jerk she’ll go with the easiest way. Face the horror of your past. She’s gonna be at the losing end if she let that affect pursuing her career. Besides, there are a lot of fine boys in her former school. That’s going to be a lot easier” Bom giggled with a mischievous smile plastered on her face

“You’re unbelievable” I said

“That’s the part when you make him regret.” Bom was about to say more when her phone rang “Hello?”

“Where are you? I can’t see you” “I told you I’m inside the coffee shop. Who’s dumb enough to wait for someone for so long outside when the weather’s hotter than hell!” “It won’t take you an hour to hand my books. I really need it. Now come quick!”

“You forgot your books again?” I ask

“Unfortunately” She shook her head

“But never her make up kit”

Bom didn’t mind Chaerin’s jab and only gave her a flying kiss

“Oh, yah! Over here” Bom waved her hand over to someone behind me. Before I could even turn to take a glance the person Bom was waving to was already standing beside her.

“What took you so long?”

“I’m working when you called”

“Well, the class I need this book for already ended. Thanks”

“Are you her boyfriend?” Chaerin asked the man. He looks very reserved and professional with his suit. I doubt. Bom prefers boys with bold looks that will scare you the first time you saw them

“Duh. He’s my cousin, Donghae. Don’t you remember him?  He used to live with us for a year back then before going to France” Bom gestured her cousin to take a sit in which he declines

“I have to get going. Nice meeting you” He said before bowing to us

“Hey! Wait. Give me a lift home. I’ll just finish this tea”

Donghae could only sigh in resignation. He took a sit at the stool next to Bom

“You don’t have to go around following her orders you know” Chaerin started a conversation with him

“I don’t have any other choice”

“She won’t let the maids open the door home if I did not follow her”

Bom laughed “That’s right”

“I’m going to sue her one of these days”

“No you don’t because you cannot”

“Oh hell I will. Just so you wait”

“Ah!” Bom shrieked when a thought sudden came across her mind “How could I not think of that!”

“Why? What happened?” I asked in concern

“Dara, I know now what you can do to make Seunghyun pay for what he did to you!” Uncomfortable at the mention of his name make me shift in my seat, bothered. Just like that, with a mere saying of his name it all came back to me.

I stiffened but I tried to keep it down “Don’t tell me you’re going to ask him” I point at his cousin “to look for him”

“Silly! But he can bring him in”

Now that got my attention “What do you mean? He knows where he is? They know each other?” Chaerin asked what I cannot utter

“Now, what are you up to, old woman?” Donghae asked in confusion

“He’s a lawyer! Sue him and claim charges for what he has done. Make him pay for it” Bom proclaimed

“WHAT?”