Jungkook was actually very closed about his feeling and problem that was going on to him. Even though he was known as the leader of his group, he was hardly called the talk active one. His friends knew something was definitely wrong with him, but he usually told them to it about it. 

And then he met Chaeyoung. They grew closer and it was surprising even though it hadn't been long time since they got close, he was brave and comfortable to tell most of things about himself to her. 

He could tell that she was indeed different. She was innocent and pure, very introvert person yet open minded. It was never boring talk with her. She was a person of words, but when their conversation got deeper, she wasn't shy telling her opinions. 

And then he was her in different way. He didn't know exactly what it was, but he was trying to figure it out.

"I'm not happy" it was Jungkook's first statement about his life. "I've never been happy since that time.." Jungkook reminisced his dad. Yes, he had tasted happiness back then until his dad took it along with him. 

"My dad, the only one who cared to me, was dead when i was 9.." she realized how much he loved his dad and relied on him so much. He must be in deep sorrow all this time. "My mom always been ignored me. Even when my dad was around. She literally doesn't give a to me.. until now. So it isn't surprising that i became like this right" he smiled bitterly, playing on the cake before him with fork. 

"How i could say it to you. I've done a lot of bad things beyond your imagine, Chae.." he looked at her. He sure had tried everything. He didn't know why he took wrong path. Either because the lack of his mom's love and attention caused him to do things that would distract her mom, or his endless guilty over his dad's death. 

"you should be scared that you're now my friend, stay a step away from me if you don't want get into trouble" Chaeyoung listened to him carefully, balanced her chin on her palm. "I'm ed up, Chae" Jungkook couldn't look at her then after feeling sadness filled up his body and overtook his soul. 

"I see that you really love your dad.." it couldn't be a lie. "The thing is how you're living right now, isn't that reflect on how much your love for him?" 

"Blaming yourself, blaming your mother only bring despair and resentment all this time.." all he did were his resentment towards his mother. He wasn't over of his father's death that he still punished himself for it. "I'm not judging but i talk to you as a friend. You chose to be ed up, Jungkook. Stop blaming everyone else, just look at yourself.."

"In the end, i'm the one who to blame, right?" His voice shook at the time. He almost choked up. 

"No. There's no somebody to blame. Let the pasts be in past. Love yourself as you love your father" she reached his hands. Suddenly, warmth surrounded his world. She didn't step back as he suggested, but she understood. She made him rely on her. 

"You believe that your father brought happiness and he took it along with him, but happiness doesn't come from someone else. It's always inside of you.." she grabbed his tightly and he did the same thing, locking his hand on hers. 

"Then why i never feel it? If it's always inside of me like you said, why i never feel even a glimpse of it? I've trapped in an endless sadness, i thought i should search for it. So why?"  

Chaeyoung was silent for a few moments. 

"Maybe you never realized it. Sometimes happiness doesn't always come from big things. There are small things that you didn't even realize you ignored. They are small, but they're forming a big thing, right?"

Jungkook reminded of him enjoying things that weren't used as his things before. Like going to cafe, reading books to get inspiration, talking about random things, taking buss, riding motorcycle, playing arcades, rolling around Hongdae enjoying night life, doing homework, playing games, watching movies and those small things that people do in common he enjoyed with Chaeyoung. Even things he never did or he even imagined, he did it with her. He was changed. Slowly to become a better person. 

" You feel happy, right?" She assured that he realized small things that brought happiness. "Better late than never, Kook ah..." he smiled upon hearing his cute nickname from her. He felt that thing. He wanted to believe that it was indeed happiness. But only led him to think, she was indeed amazing to wake him up and made him taste a glimpse of happiness. She was like a gift.

"You must be suffered a lot" he referred to Lisa's death, after few minutes silence. 

Chaeyoung forced a smile. 

"She is my friend, my sister, my family.." she stared at the sparkling rides that shined in dark night. "She is... my everything. She was one of the reason that always keeping me on the right way. I was in pain to death at that time..." she fought so hard not to shed any tears. 

"But i promised her to live fully and always be happy, to keep living on"

She told herself everyday that it's okay. It was okay if she was all alone. It was okay if she walked alone on the way to her home. It was okay to eat alone. It would be okay to spend summer breaks alone. It would be okay to experience first snowfall without her. But loneliness was most dangerous thing for her. People assured that she was all okay, but inside, she felt like slowly her soul was tearing apart that one day nothing would left. 

"Did you keep your promise? By being happy?" Jungkook woke her up from the thoughts.

"I told you.. i couldn't keep it as soon as i made it.." she chuckled. She was absolutely never happy since then. "..but.." until then. Her eyes moved and met with his eyes. She almost thought that she wouldn't live like she promised, until he met this person before her. He was the one who stayed by her side. It hadn't been long time, but that empty spot was filled slowly. Her bad days changed to be good days. 

What should i tell him

The silence was broken by the sound of fireworks that always happened on certain days. Both of them startled at first but then were amazed by how incredible and beautiful the fireworks were. 

Jungkook turned his head and stared at Chaeyoung who was still captured by fireworks. He felt much lighter after what he told her. The fact that it was her, who he just got closer with recently yet it felt like they had known for a long time. They bond deeply in fast paced. 

Not in that way, but in friends way... right?

"I want to get closer, you wanna come with me?" She stood up, wanting to see fireworks closer.

"It's okay" he wanted to stay. 

She pouted before leaving him behind.

"Don't go anywhere, okay? Just stay still" she sounded like a mom towards her son. 

Jungkook silently watched her running towards the fence of a bridge. Even though she was just as broken as he was, she still could encourage him and acted like nothing happened. 

To be honest, she was too good for him. She was pure and innocent, he didn't deserve her. And it scared him. He was scared of losing her. She was too precious to him as she took a huge part in his change. The more day passed, the more his intention faded. Looking at her got him thinking that his reasons not to die increased. 

She is too good to be a friend, isn't her?

Thinking about her gave him inspiration for their song lyrics. Of course they wouldn't forget it, right?

∴ℵ∴

Almost half of day spent in amusement park got them out of energy. But they decided to walk around Itaewon. They visited some beauty shops and ended the day by having dinner in ramyun shop. Jungkook didn't forget to get gifts for both of them by winning two dolls from claw machine. 

Three hours remaining till tomorrow. They had arrived in front of Chaeyoung's apartment. 

"Wahh.. do you learn some tricks?" Chaeyoung got off from the motorcycle, holding blue and pick stitch dolls. 

Jungkook got off from his motorcycle and then released his helmet. "it's called talent" he proudly declared as he took the blue one from her. 

Chaeyoung sighed in disbelief, rolling her eyes, "What can be proud of?" 

"It was a nice date" he played the doll as if it was talking to the one Chaeyoung held.

"A date?" Chaeyoung protested. 

"Thank you for listening to me. Thank you for staying as my friend" he co