Jungkook stared down at stuffs he was going to move soon. Guitar, keyboard, etc. All stuffs which were gifts from his dad. He was going to give those things to people who deserve. 

I'm going to you, dad. I want to be a good son just only to you. 

That bad thoughts were all of his changes began. Suicide. He planned to end his life. The thoughts had been stayed on his mind since years ago, but they got stronger and he had made a decision. If he couldn't find happiness in this world, maybe he could it there, with his father. 

But the thing was.. why do bad things i always had on my mind disappear whenever i saw her?

More days had passed and their friendship even got stronger. They hang out together most of the time with song project as "the reason". They learned about each other's slowly. Even though they were supposed to be opposite, but they found their things in common. They valued lots of things. They didn't have to talk a lot to understand each other. Just a small deep talks and silence were enjoyable for them. 

Jungkook realized how much Chaeyoung had changed his life. Listening to her stories was waking up his fellow feeling and insanity. Just seeing her made him forgot about all the bad things in his head. And then he became scared. It didn't go as he planned. He had someone he cherished that became the reason he still had to open his eyes the day after. 

He saw a glimpse of.... happiness through her.

The more he got close to her, the more the thoughts of his dad faded away. He never felt this way towards a friend before. Even to his closest kids. Even his mother which he hated anyway. 

The door of his room was opened suddenly. His mother showed up and approached him who was sitting on the bed. The way she walked was really weird and her gaze too so Jungkook was sure that she was drunk. 

Her mother who was in her mid 40s sat down on the bed beside him. Jungkook didn't say anything nor look at her. 

"Kook ah" his mom called him suddenly.

Jungkook was surprised to be called like that by his mom for the first time. It was nickname that was given by his father. 

"Why you never look at me..." her voice stayed low and stable but the drunkness was obvious.

"I look at you" Jungkook said in tiny voice. He wore flat expression that he always showed to her mom.

"Kook ah.. it was me who gave you that nickname" she told which again surprised him. But he stayed silent

His mother sighed and looked away. 

"You were really cute baby. But i didn't even touch you. I'm such a bad mom, right?" Her eyes told the sadness and sincerity of the words she just confessed. Suddenly, it saddened him. He never felt love from his own mom. 

She sighed again before stood up. She stepped and then losing her balance, but Jungkook immediately caught her. Their eyes met and she stoop up steadily. 

"Thank you" she muttered to him before disappeared from his view.

Even though she was drunk, it was nice to see the soft side of her. It wasn't like Jungkook hated her from the beginning, but he wanted her to only care for him. It wasn't him who didn't look at him, it was here. That was why he felt resentment towards her. He actually expected nothing from her. Even though she was his mom, someone who gave birth to him, he  felt like she never acted like mom literally. 

Jungkook was laying down on his bed. Staring at the ceiling above him, he was drown in thoughts. What would happen to his mom if he gone forever?

∴ℵ∴

"This idea came up in my head last night..." Chaeyoung pushed the chair to Jungkook's side and sat on it. She handed him a paragraph of lyrics.

It’s already been a few days since you haven’t called

Do you know that it’s my birthday soon?

But time keeps ticking without concern

Because I was more worried than annoyed

I went to the entrance of your street without planning it

I didn’t think I’d see you but you greeted me with a smile

"Friendship beyond friends. Isn't it romantic and sweet?" Chaeyong moved closer to him who was reading the lyrics. 

"Friendship beyond friends? What the hell is that?" 

Chaeyoung moved the chair she was sitting on with her legs to take guitar. 

"It's like a boy and a girl are friends, but they are not just friends..." she moved to him again. "They actually have feeling to each other but rather than confessing, they label theirselves as friends instead to save their close relationship. Like they don't want to lose each other"