The phone vibrates endlessly with the name JUNG HOSEOK flashing on the screen.

Nearby, Min Yoongi pretends he doesn’t hear it. The producer is bent on finishing a melody within the confines of his hotel room. He tinkers around with his laptop, writes a few words, and backplayrs his tune. Meanwhile, his phone continues to ring.

It’s actually been like that for more than 24 hours already.

He heaves a sigh as he sets his pen down and glances at his hand phone. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t tempted to answer it since yesterday. But he just can’t.

Jin texted him three times last night, asking if he wants to go out with him and Namjoon for coffee. He was about to say yes, but when Namjoon followed up the text, informing him that Hoseok was coming too (apparently, Jimin and Taehyung where nowhere to be found), he bailed.

I have to work. Sorry. – that was his reply.

He managed to escape yesterday, but tonight is the couple’s joint bachelor party. Surely, he can’t ditch that.

He’ll have to face Hoseok again.

Some people completely forget the night before if they drank past their limit, but not Yoongi. Alcohol may have rendered him forgetful for a minute or two, but once he got out of bed—he remembered everything that happened: stumbling in the hallway, talking nonsense, and Hoseok.

His phone finally stops vibrating.

Yoongi gets up from his desk and closes his laptop. The sun is inviting him to come outside and take a breather, but the embarrassment from two nights ago cripples him still.

Hoseok was the one who took him back after that noraebang episode.

Yoongi had lost count of the shots he took during that night they were at the noraebang. The atmosphere was both relaxing and tensed at the same time, he just had to finish a bottle and half of Soju. He boasted of having the highest alcohol tolerance in the group; alas, even the mighty fall.

The first thing Yoongi remembers is a small voice asking: “Daddy, is Yoongi appa okay?”

“Sweetheart, it’s Uncle Yoongi. And yes, he’s just tired.”

By this time, Yoongi’s eyes opened. Everything was hazy at first; all he could see were yellow walls and shadows. As his senses returned, he felt his arm hanging around someone’s shoulder and another arm wrapped around his waist.

“He might fall, Daddy.”

“Of course not, Hana. Papa’s got him.”

Hana?

His head felt heavy when he moved it, looking around. His eyes focused on the sharp jaw line of the person guiding him. Once Yoongi’s eyes adjusted, he realized that it was Hoseok.

“Hoseok-ah.”

The dongsaeng glanced at his hyung with a surprised yet knowing expression on his face.

“Ah hyung, you’re awake,” he said, “Don’t worry. We’re almost there. I have your key card.”

“Uncle Yoongi is okay now?”

“He just woke up, baby.”

His entire body felt so heavy, but the fact that Hoseok’s arm was wrapped around his waist triggered countless unwanted thoughts. Even in his drunken state, Yoongi’s feelings could not be subdued.

“Here we are,” announced the younger man. He took the key card from his shirt pocket, tapped it on the door, and pushed it open. Gathering his strength, he half-dragged, half-pulled his wasted hyung inside the room with Hana trailing behind.

“Ouch!”

“Oh my god. Sorry, hyung!”

Yoongi hit his knee on the bed post as Hoseok directed him towards the bed. Before the younger member could even lie him down properly, Yoongi ended up falling on the comforter face-down.

“Daddy, he fell!”

“Hyung!”

Yoongi felt a pair of hands turn him around by the shoulder. His face was already kissing the sheets, but Hoseok’s hand fixes him up. A lot happened in a minute: his head being positioned on the pillow, a small pair of hands helping the bigger pair keep him in place, and the rustling of sheets. Curious Yoongi had no choice but to open his eyes again and focus.

Hoseok was draping a blanket on top of him and adjusting his pillow. Little Hana, on the other hand, was tugging off his slippers with her tiny hands.

“Oomph!” she squealed once she got the final slipper off.

“Good job, Hana. You take good care of drunk uncles,” commended her father with a heart-shaped smile on his face. The little girl giggled as her dad planted a kiss on her chubby cheek.

Watching them, Yoongi felt his cold heart melt in an instant. He was unsure if it was the alcohol or it was just a really touching moment.

Hana noticed him staring.

“Daddy, he doesn’t look okay.”

Immediately, Hoseok’s attention returned to him. “Ah, Yoongi hyung! How do you feel?” he asked, “You drank too much tonight. A bottle and a half of Soju! And more! Unbelievable!” he chuckles, “But then again, you’re Min Yoongi so... what’s new?”

Yoongi did not reply. Instead, he just stared at Hoseoki as the latter adjusted the blankets and tucked him in. Despite being in his late thirties, Jung Hoseok still looked like an angelic soul. Aging resulted in a few eye wrinkles, but he still had those high cheekbones and a beautiful smile. He had a few strands of grey hair lost in a jungle of brown locks.

A few things changed, but he was still the same Hobi Yoongi pined for.

“Daddy, will Uncle Yoongi be alright?”

His attention shifted to the little girl standing behind Hoseok. She peeked from his back, unsure if she should talk directly to her Yoongi oppa or not. Her father smiled as he ruffled her hair, assuring her that Uncle Yoongi will be okay in the morning.

Again, Uncle Yoongi’s heart melted.

“Hoseok-ah.”

His raspy voice sounded awful.

Hobi sat down by the edge. “Do you need anything, hyung?” he asked, “If you’re worried about the kids, they’re okay. Jimin has Taehyung.”

But Yoongi didn’t give a damn about the kids right now.

“I always knew...”

“I’m sorry?”

Suga glanced at Hana again.

“I always knew... you’d make a good dad,” he said.

Hoseok burst out laughing. “Oh my god, hyung, where did that come from?” he asked, “You really are drunk!”

“I’m damn serious over here,” argued Yoongi, “Whenever... people asked what I thought the members would be like 10 years from now... I always knew... you’d be a dad. A good one.”

His dongsaeng smiled unsurely as he wrapped an arm around his daughter’s little shoulders. “Gee, thanks hyung,” he said, “You’re still nicer when you’re drunk.”

“I always saw it that way...” continued Yoongi mindlessly, “You... with a kid... a good future... happy.”

“Yoongi hyung, what are you talking about? Did you hit your head?”

The older man ignored the younger one’s growing concern. Looking at Hoseok, Yoongi had always believed this guy deserved all the good things in life. He was one of the first people he shared a strong connection with since the start of their Bangtan days. This man had been with him since Day 1; this man had seen him shed tears, work hard, and worry about the future.

“Your future... it’s better this way, huh?”

“What?”

Yoongi recalled those nights he spent before the disbanding was made official. He argued with himself: should he finally confess? Namjoon said there was no point in hiding anymore; he can finally settleThe Great Question: is it possible to share a future with Jung Hoseok?

“You’re happy,” said Yoongi, “This little girl,” he pointed at Hana, “She makes you happy.”

Hoseok glanced at his daughter. “Well, of course hyung. She’s my everything.”

Three days after the official announcement, Yoongi was going to say it. The dorm was nearly empty that night—Taehyung and Jimin were nowhere to be found, Jin dropped by a friend’s house, and Namjoon had already returned to Ilsan. He was debating on whether he should stay at the dorm or go back to Daegu—but not before he confessed.

When he saw Hoseok by the Game Room, Yoongi gathered his strength.

Hoseok was on the phone with his mother. Judging from his dongsaeng’s answers, it seemed as if his mother was worrying about her son and his life after Bangtan Sonyeondan.

“....know, Mom. Please stop worrying. We did it so we could pursue other things,” Hoseok was saying. He paused and took a deep breath. “It’s not easy, Mom, but I know I’ll find my place. Right now... we just need a break. Joon made me realize that.”

Yoongi listened by the door, hoping the younger was alright. His dongsaeng also struggled with the decision and he wanted to lend a comforting shoulder in case he broke down.

“No... Mom... I’m not seeing anyone,” he was saying, “But don’t worry, I’ll find someone.” Another pause. “No, why would I date a person with baggage? Trust me—Mom, I’m going to be with the right person someday. A girl who’s happier than me, isn’t that what you want?” He laughed. “I’ll find THE girl, Mom. Don’t worry.”

That’s when reality broke Min Yoongi.

“Your future was better off without us anyway, Hoseok-ah,” Yoongi was saying, “At least you’re happier than before.”

Hoseok’s face reflected his confusion with his hyung’s ‘drunk’ blabbering. “Hyung, you know that’s not true. We disbanded for a reason but that doesn’t mean I never saw you guys in my future,” he said, “You’re a part of me. You know that right?”

“I was never part of that future, Hobi. And it’s better that way.”

Had he been sober, Yoongi would’ve punched himself for saying that. But he was still under the influence of alcohol and he didn’t care. He didn’t mind that Hana was present, staring at them, or that Hoseok was stumped with what he said. It took him years to hint at his feelings, damnit. He deserved this moment.

“Hyung, I don’t understand.”

Hobi was staring at him intently, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. How Yoongi wished he could just push a button and make his dongsaeng understand everything.

His drunken self props his body up by the elbows as he slowly raises himself up—to a point where his face is just two inches away from Hoseok’s. The younger man didn’t move. He simply met his hyung’s stare, probably wondering what was going inside his genius rapper head.

It was simple: he loved Hoseok—always have, always will.

It was also complex: it’s one-sided.  

They just stared at each other; Yoongi didn’t dare look away from Hoseok’s gentle gaze. He recounted the numerous times he lost himself in his dongsaeng’s assuring words and trusting eyes. How he wished he could erase all the painful memories and hardships for this ball of sunshine. How Yoongi wished he would be enough for Jung Hoseok.

The stone-cold silence ensued as both men stared at each other—one of them itching to feel the lips of the other.

Just ing go for it, Yoongi. What do you have to lose?

He inched closer.

But a phone rang, breaking the connection.

“It’s Mommy!” squealed Jung Hana all of a sudden, pawing at her father’s pockets, “Mommy’s calling!”

Hoseok immediately reached out for the ringing phone in his back pocket. And in front of Yoongi, he answered it.

“Hi,” he said, “Oh... yeah. We’re doing great.” He then looked at Hana, who is reaching out for the phone, “She misses you a lot, actually. Hana’s trying to reach for the phone and... wait, sweetheart,” he glanced at his daughter pointedly, “Wait for Daddy to finish the call, then I’ll hand it over.”

“But Mommy!” pouted the little girl.

Hoseok sighed. “Hey, is it okay if you wait for a bit?” A pause; he then looked at Yoongi. “I’m just... with one of the hyungs. No, I did not bring Hana out while I was drinking, how could you think that?” He chuckled. “Give me a sec. I’ll just hand the phone to this little girl.”

Hana took the phone from her father. “Mommy, I miss you!” she squealed, “Daddy and I love it here but we’ll come home soonest!” She laughed as she ran to the door, conversing with her mother, and leaving her father behind with her Yoongi appa.

“But we’ll come home soonest.”

“So... you live with her?”

“I... well...”

“Why didn’t you say so?”

There was resentment in the older rapper’s voice. He didn’t understand why, but he felt so betrayed by this revelation.

Hoseok shifted uncomfortably. “Well, I... I was hoping to give it a try,” he explained, “Hana wished on her fourth birthday to see me and her Mom live under one roof. Besides, her apartment is closer to my dance studio. It’s all convenient.”

Awkward silence.

“You’re really trying with her, huh?”

“Hyung—“

Yoongi pulled up his blanket and turned his back on Hoseok.

“Thanks for bringing me here,” he said, “I think I’ll be fine now.”

“Are you sure? I can stay—“

“No. Your daughter is outside. You have to be with her.”

He heard Hoseok sigh. The weight on his side of the bed lifted.

“If you say so, hyung,” he said, “But we’re at Room 415 if you need anything. I’ll tell Jimin you’re good now. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He felt Hoseok touch his back for a second, before he heard footsteps walking away and the door closing behind him.

Yoongi glanced at the door as he tried to subdue the burning sensation in his chest. It had nothing to do with the alcohol—Jung Hoseok was to blame.

“...and even Donghyuk’s here now. Where the are you, hyung?”

Yoongi heaves a sigh.

“I’m just finishing work.”

Namjoon clicks his tongue on the other line. “Hyung, I didn’t book you a week-long vacation so you can shut yourself in the room,” he remarks, “C’mon, you spent yesterday locked up and working. Tonight’s the bachelor party and the guys are all here! Well... Donghyuk and Pdogg hyung are, at least.” Yoongi hears stirring. “So, are you game?”

“Who else is coming?”

“Jin hyung’s with some of his 92 liner friends so definitely not him; 95z is still missing,” Namjoon sighs, “I dunno where those two are.”

“What about Hoseok?” he asks, crossing his fingers.

“Not coming; had to do some work?” answers Namjoon, “He’s at some cafe with Hana, I think. But he’ll come to the party tonight.”

Phew.

Yoongi eyes the beachfront; it’s a nice day. He should get some sun, clear his head, and man up before he sees Hoseok tonight.

“Alright, wait for me.”

The sun peeks in another room, shining upon the body of a 35-year old man still in bed.

Surrounded by pillows and sheets, Jimin doesn’t want to get up yet. He wants to stay there, close his eyes, and remember last night. Unfortunately, the sun is too stubborn; blinding him with its rays and reminding him that today’s a different day.

Accepting defeat, he sits up.

The room is a slight mess: blankets on the floor, paper strewn here and there, a shirt by the closet, and a pair of boxers hanging by the bedpost.

His cheeks redden.

Last night feels like a dream for Park Jimin. Despite not seeing each other for five years, they still fit together like perfect puzzle pieces. He could still feel every kiss and caress. He could still hear Kim Taehyung say his name over and over again.

It ended with Jimin, drenched in sweat, nuzzling his face on Taehyung’s neck—his heart thumping wildly with joy.

He stretches his sore muscles, twisting and turning. The producer looks for his shirt, which is missing amidst the mix of sheets, shorts, and mess. Giving up, he reaches for Taehyung’s oversized sweater and wears it over his body. Fortunately, his boxers are just nearby. He picks it up and clothes himself.

Jimin sees his reflection and observes: tousled hair, a few red spots by his neck and collar bones, plus an oversized shirt—he looked so small in his ex-boyfriend’s sweater.

Ex-boyfriend...

The smile immediately drops from his face.

What are we exactly?

They were so lost in  each other last night, no one asked. But how could you discuss your relationship status in the middle of anyway?

Still, the dancer wants to know. Woo Hyun made him realize that after all this years, he is still in love with his Tae Tae. He wants to be with Taehyung—but there is still that one lingering question: what about his career?

His contract was only for five years, remembers Jimin, Is it possible that...?

It was and still is the only thing that separates them. He’s still not comfortable with the idea of hiding from the public to protect Taehyung’s image. Jimin was already happy with life outside of the limelight. After five years, he can no longer handle too much publicity.

It has also been five years since Taehyung said yes to the solo contract, which could be expiring anytime soon.  

Could he really do it?

The actor is nowhere to be found in the room, but the older 95z can hear his voice outside. Jimin’s heart melts just by listening to the murmurs; the memory of Taehyung’s whispers, sweet nothings, and words from last night returns to him.

“Baby, that’s it.”

“I miss having you in my arms.”

“Jiminie... I missed you.”

Before, he dreaded seeing Taehyung. Now, he wants to see him and know the answer.

Jimin silently walks to the door and takes a peek. Taehyung sits on the couch, his back facing Jimin. The latter wants to surprise him with a hug, but he sees the former is on his phone, talking.

“Yeah, I know that Manager hyung,” he is saying.

Oh, he’s talking to his manager. I better leave them for a while, decides Jimin, about to return to bed.

“T he contract renewal? Yeah, I saw that too.”

Jimin stops. He returns to his spot to eavesdrop on this conversation.

“I got the email last night, actually,” continues Taehyung, “They said they wanted an answer as soon as possible.”

Pause.

“Of course I’ve looked into it. It’s pretty interesting,” he tells his manager, “Two more dramas, movies, and some magazine spreads, right?” he sighs, “I don’t really know what the rush is about. But they want to know if I’d go again.”

Jimin doesn’t notice it, but his hold on the edge of the door tightens.

The silence is agonizing; Taehyung’s manager is probably coaching him or something. Jimin, however, is on the edge. Since his ex’s back is facing him, he can’t see Tae’s face. What will he say?

“Manager hyung... I think you know the answer.”

Can he really do it?

Taehyung stands up from the couch.

“Sure, I’ll re-new.”

Jimin’s hand slips from the edge, hitting the door knob.

“!” he cries out in pain. Immediately, he covers his mouth.

Taehyung spins around and sees him, eyes widening in horror. Jimin holds on to his hand and tries to rub off the pain; unfortunately, nothing can subdue the other, deeper pain he’s experiencing.

“I... I’ll call you later, hyung,” Taehyung stammers into the phone, “Bye.”

He drops the device on the couch.

“Jimin-ah...” he calls out.

Jimin doesn’t know what to say at all. His hand still hurts; how he wishes the pain is enough to distract him from the bubbling, no, simmering feeling inside his chest.

“So... you’re re-newing, huh?”

“Minnie—“

“So, last night was just—what? Thank-you ? You’re-still-ing-hot ?” he rambles, “ I-missed-you ? I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was a one night stand.”

“Jimin, that’s not it—“

“What is it, Taehyung?”

“I really missed you.”

“I-miss-you , then?”

“No, that’s not the point!” exclaims Taehyung, “Minnie, believe me when I say that I really want to be with you—that I still love you. I do! I spent five years trying to get over you, but I can’t. There’s no one else but you.”

“And your ing career,” retorts Jimin, “You know how I feel about that, Taehyung. And you still... ing... chose it.”

“Jimin-ah, it doesn’t have to be complex. We can work it out.”

“Why do we always have to work around that bull?” complains the producer, “Tae Tae, you know that I don’t want to keep us a secret. And you ing know that your job won’t permit that. You ing know it.”

Taehyung approaches him, reaching out with his hand.

“We don’t have to keep it a secret, Minnie.”

Jimin scoffs as he swats it away. “Are you ing kidding me? I was an idol too, Taehyung. You might’ve forgotten,” he snaps, “We hid all the time. We did it because if we revealed ourselves, we’d lose our careers. Do you really think we can go out and about and not compromise your career? Do you?” he walks inside the room, “Do you really think it won’t hurt us in the long run?”

“Why does it have to hurt us?” argues Taehyung, “Why is it so hard for you to be with me while I pursue my passion? Why are you being so selfish?”

The pent-up anger, the one Jimin kept for five years, blows up.

“I’m being selfish?” he asks, “Cameras already follow your every move, Taehyung. If they see me, they’ll wonder about us. We can’t keep up the “just friends” facade for too long. Sooner or later, someone will find out and it’ll blow up on the news. When that happens, your ing career would end.”

He stands by the window, keeping the tears. “I’m sorry, Taehyung. I loved you so much, I didn’t want to be the who ruins your acting career.”

“If people found out about us, they will end you. Everyone will react; it’s not like our relationship will be accepted,” he continues, “I can’t stay with you while you pursue your passion because I don’t want our relationship to destroy your career, to destroy you. I left because you chose your career and I didn’t want to ing sabotage it for you.”

He tried his best to stop it, but a solitary tear still rolls down his cheek.

Jimin never really told Taehyung that reason, but now it’s out there. He holds onto the desk for support because he feels his knees giving up on him. Meanwhile, Taehyung is frozen in his spot opposite him, his face torn between shock and desperation.

“I know how much you love acting, Tae,” reveals Jimin, “I’m not blind. But… it has to be one or the other.”

Taehyung remains speechless as he stands there. He tries to speak, but no words come out of his mouth.

Jimin takes his hesitation as a sign. Still trying to stop the tears, he bends over to pick his pants, brushes past his ex-boyfriend, and leaves.

“Hana wished on her fourth birthday to see me and her Mom live under one roof.”

For ’s sake, stop thinking about that.

Yoongi huffs his chest as he walks down the hotel’s hallways. He’s about to meet Namjoon and their hyungs, but his head is still swimming in thoughts of Hoseok.

It actually took him a good hour before he finished dressing up partly because his head is stuck in grey clouds.

The producer hates himself for giving into his emotions the way he did last night. This is why he doesn’t like feelings or romance—it screws up his mental pr