" Baby tell me I'll do whatever  "

JINYOUNG POV

rare of what?

Jinyoung you are pregnant

w-what!

I'm....im... I'm inshock!! How?? 

Hello! Jinyoung you there? 

y-yes yes! I'm here...but how? 

uh! That's something we need to discus privately. Right now what I know is that did you see the list of percentage on the image I gave

I lean forward and click the image to full view

you see that's all your percentage of oxygen, haemoglobin, calcium, glucose and so on that running through your blood to spread all over your body! And if you could see the word I highlighted that's the peculiar one I found. It's a HCG hormone. And I presume you know what that was. I- 

my breath become slow but heavy! The word that I need to digest. This can't be happening. I cant carried someone's child who doesn't love me. What sin do I have to get this punishment. I don't have any choice. I need to act now

Can you get it out

w-what! 

can you get it out doctor! 

silence only I heard from the other line 

Doctor? 

Doctor Ashrof!

Doc-! 

Jinyoung.... You playing with life and dead! Theres a living soul inside of you. You can't possibly let it die would you? 

doctor you don't understand. I-

No I completely understand. I don't want to continue to talk about this anymore Jinyoung! Please think about it! A child deserve to leave. If you had any information you wanted to know, you know where to find me..........

silence.

I look at the phone where he hang up on me. I tossed the phone on my desk and i lean my body on my chair. I lift my hand and touch my belly where the child will grow in months to come.

a child deserve to leave

rang in my head. In full realisation my, tears flow down non stop wetting my cheek. I look down to my hand that cares my own belly

" Oh my god! ....I'm sorry. Omma sorry! Omma shouldnt have think about that. I'm so sorry.... I promise I'll take care of you no matter what... until you grow... My child "

A single drop of my tears fell on top of my hand

~•~

I came back home on the next day to an empty home. It's very usual that this will happen. I don't mind this, as long Mark came home then I'll be glad, but I was wrong.

He didn't came back for 3 days. I don't have a clue where he was. He didn't bother to call or send a single text to me that's he going abroad or anywhere.

1 month had past, the habit that I didn't see for so long came back again! I would get a call saying Mark is drunk! But I don't bother to answer because I know where he was. 

For weeks I did my job as a loyal and responsible partner for Mark! I would drive my car late at night just to take him home from the sick place. I never whine why he doing this. I just don't one our relationship to be broken. I love Mark. He my first love, my first kiss and my first to take away my own sanity and my first partner that own the growing child. 

I don't tell him yet about the baby, I just don't feel right. I need to take time and then I'll tell him when I'm ready. 

I called Doctor Ashrof on the next day to schedule our meeting and we did meet each other on the next day 

" it's been so long isn't it! 1 month since we have the conversation "

" yes it is doctor! "

" still thinking about the abortions ?!"

" No!  I'll keep him or her with me " 

" phew! That's great or I would faint ! So now let's check how's the baby condition Jinyoung please lie down "

He instruct me to lay on the bed. Uplift my shirt up exposing my belly. He rub a gel that's kinda cold and he runs the stick on my belly. 

" let's see that miracle child of yours." 

I saw him moving the stick around my belly until he stop. 

" there it is!  We can't tell what their gender are yet but you could see it evolve. Congratulations Jinyoung! " the doctor said cheering for me

I smile at him for congratulat me but I wish Mark was here. 

~•~

A few months gone by and it already enter 3 months of my pregnancy. I try to look at myself in the mirror but legit I don't show that much! There's not a single bump maybe a little bit and I am Happy! 

As part my schedule I had to go to meet doctor every month to check about My baby condition.

" Jinyoung! She's a girl! You have a baby girl " 

I had to close my mouth to contain my burst. My tears won't stop flowing. I am the most happy person alive. Doctor Ashrof did show the the sound of her heart beat to me and I can't contain my smile.

I smile seeing the sonogram that doctor Ashrof had printed for me. I have been too focus on the picture when I felt someone bump my shoulder causing me to drop my sonogram picture. 

I didn't look at the person but to crunch down to get it but the person first took the picture off the ground 

" Sorry to bump to you just now, here!  "

I look at the hand that holding the picture. I reach out and grasp it gently from the person. 

I mutter my thank you to him as I look to the person face. I was ready to turn back going to my car, but the guy say something 

" Jinyoung?! "

I had to look back at this person who calling my name 

" sorry! "

" it's me remember, Jackson! We've met at JYP university years back "

He claim himself Jackson. But I don't remember a person name Jackson, wait

" oh yeah! Oh my god "

I didn't finish my sentence but to pull him for a hug. 

" I never heard from you. No news or anything, how are you? "

" I'm fine jinyoung ah! How are you? "

" I'm fine too. Jackson hyung "

Err this is so odd and awkward we just met each other outside the hospital 

" what brings you here to the hospital " I had to say

" what no! I'm not going to the hospital. I'm just walking pass the hospital. I'm going to there a coffee shop! " he pointed 

" oh! OK then " 

" wanna join me! We just met Jinyoung, it kinda rude if I don't insist treating you anything "

" No it's find Jackson honest! "

" nonsense come with me "

And there I am, sitting in front of Jackson. He treat me for a coffee and a few pretzel. 

" thank you for this " 

" It's fine no need to say thank you. Um if I may ask! I did catch a glimpse of a picture,what is it? "

A-oh 

" um it's nothing really "

" it's okay if you don't want to Show me. I'm not forcing you " he said smiling and turn to dip his pretzel into his coffee.

I had to chuckle at him with his corkyness 

" uuhy a u lauhing " he said with mouth full looking at me weirdly

I cover my mouth " nothing! It just you never change since back then at JYP. Still being crazy and weird aren't you "

"wail " he swallow " it's my nature " and clasp his hand together 

I only nod in respond. I was going to get the pretzel on the plate when he ask

" So whats bring you here Jinyoung?" 

" You didn't know? "

" i didn't know what? "

" I work here, being a teacher here since I continued my study here in LA "

" really! Shocking "

" you mean you don't know? Mark never tell you!? "

" Why are saying that name "

" aren't you two suppose to be best friend "

" use to Jinyoung! Use to. Since graduation he just left without saying anything he just broke our tise. I never heard about him since then " he shrugged his shoulder and look outside the glass window. 

" really I'm so sorry! " 

" why are you sorry for? It's not your fault "

" well it kinda my fault. Sorry on behalf of my fiancee "

Upon hearing what i said Jackson just blown 

" WHAT! " 

I had to look left and right when people started to look at our direction 

" Jackson lower your voice were in public " I said almost whispering 

" how! " he had a disbelief face one " this is not right? " 

" what do you mean " I had to ask 

" ohhh there's a lot you don't know Jinyoung! Beside I'm a lawyer knowing everything is my specialty "

" OK maybe I shouldn't know everything " I let out a nervous laugh. 

After what I said just now, silence was between us. I felt awkward but Jackson had a questioning face when he looking at me. Like his studying my face. 

" Is there something you hiding from me? "

" what are you talking about? "

" come on Jinyoung! I know you're hiding something. Under that smiling and innocent face of yours I see a happy person yet sad at the same time "

Hearing what he said was true. I am Happy meeting an old friend but sad when I heard what he said about Mark. I lower my head biting my lips.what I could do right now is to keep my mouth shut. 

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turn to see Jackson closing his chair nearing to mine

" it's OK if you don't want to share Jinyoung! I don't want you to feel stress and being push. I want you to feel comfortable around me but not feeling insecure " he said and side hug me

From all this time I never met someone who truly understanding about me other than Youngjae. Even though me and Jackson never be that's closest back then but now I know I should be his friend from the beginning.

" you very kind Jackson. Thank you! "

" no need to say thank you! It's my duty to make my friend feel safe around me " he said smiling 

" do you want to see the picture that's you ask earlier? " I said a little bit hesitant 

" yeah! Ofcourse. If you want Jinyoung, I didn't force you " he said making sure but I show him the sonogram! 

" awh...." he coo "What is this?" he said not a clue " why it looks like a baby bird? "

I hand to hold my laugh by biting my lisp " it's a baby silly! "

" I know that Jinyoung! Just playing with you " he said slaping my shoulder playfully " who's baby is this? "

" it's mine! "

" You're pregnant? "

I nod. I trust Jackson because of his sense I believe in. He's the second person to know about my pregnancy.

" You mean that Marks child " there's a hit of shocking tone in his question. I nod again 

" well!  I am happy for you " he said smiling. And suddenly he lean forward down nearing my belly 

" Jackson what are you doing? "

" hey little one! Your uncle Jackson here! YOUR AWESOME UNCLE! Come out quick So that I could spoil you with toys and treat you to every candy store you wanted "

Hearing what he said I had to hit him, not on my watch! 

" ahh! Your Omma is so bad! He hit your uncle! I'm sad now... I hope you will be better than your Omma. Hes a meanie! " 

I hand to hold my blush hearing what Jackson said. Jackson is so sweet! I had to admit it! I hope Mark would be like him... 

~•~

Meeting Jackson is not helping at all. I can't stop smiling thinking about his act at the shop. Luckily no one notice. Haish! I'm such a pathetic but I can't help it... 

Now I'm on my way to the Tuans Corp. I don't know why but my heart saying so. Because of my happiness and joyfulness I had and need to tell Mark about the news. I want to leave the sonogram picture on his desk if he is not there.

Once I park my car! Entering the main entrance before I say hello to the doormen. Went up the elevator and I wait until I reach the top. The door open and i step out. Walking passing the few marks employees showing my cheer face that i can't kept for myself. I walk and stop at the only person I know here

"Sana! " she's Marks assistant " Jinyoung! What are you doing here " she said getting worried and nervous. Maybe that's just her stressing about her job! Well don't blame her! It's here job and I can't do anything about it. " I'm looking for Marks office " I said 

" Jinyoung you-you shouldn't be here! " she said with a hinting of warning 

My happy face drop when I heard her saying that " what!  Why? " 

" it's for your own good I'm sorry! " 

What.... What is she hiding 

" No I want to see Mark! If you don't want to tell me then fine I'll find his office by myself " I said pushing away from her desk and stomping my feet to look at every corner of the office

" Jinyoung please... Listen to me " I heard her screaming but i didnt listen. I continued my pace. I felt a hand yank me making me to turn around " Jinyoung listen to me please! This is not a good time - " 

I cut her " want are you- " I stop my words! I heard a familiar voice

" Mark... "

I heard that voice! Its the same voice. My heart is beating really fast. I turn my head to the left following the sound coming from and I saw there's a huge glass door and wall taking half of the space. There's a word bold saying 

CEO OFFICE

the transparent door I saw Mark! sitting on his chair! He's got company. A familiar golden hair. She was sitting on the table. Looking at Mark so lovingly. 

I don't know how my conditions are, but i felt the times moving so slow. I saw him waking up from his chair and getting closer toward the lady and embracing her with a big smile on his face. 

The smile I never seen for so long looking so happy when he's with her. They share a kiss in front of me. 

I hold on my belly and my heart! My heart, I can feel it shatter. Our child! Mark your daughter need you!

My happiness has long gone! A few piece of my answer slowly I will finish the puzzle. Now I know, Mark would never love me. I'm just a friend to him since the first day. I don't understand the proposing. 

Why? 

Why did he do that....

For all this time, my eyes were right. She is the golden hair lady I saw when I sent my gift for his birthday. The same lady I saw who stole my crush away years ago. She's the lady I saw in the picture. She is Marks happiness not me! She is his girlfriend...

I was looking at the ground as I felt my tears flowing down my cheeks. I feel ashamed to be in here. I feel embarrassed. I feel weak.

I lift my head when I saw them holding hand, going towards my direction. But I was quick, I ran as fast as I can to the elevator and push the button rapidly for it to close the door. 

I lean my back on the wall when I feel my feet so weak. My heart, my chest hurt so bad. The door open and I ran to my car. 

Wiping my tears away I get in to my car and start the engine. I pray.. I pray plenty time for god to hear me... Praying for Mark wouldn't see me but I was wrong! God didn't hear my pray. 

I saw him pushing the main door looking from me. But i was lucky I parked far from the building. Without second thoughts I speed my car out from the property. 

I few Kilometre away I called Jackson since he's the only one I could count on

" Hello "

".J-jackson " I can't hold my feeling. I was crying. I can't utter any word properly 

" Jinyoung what's wrong? Tell me "

" J-Jackson! H-he hurt me! "

" who hurt you tell me Jinyoung! "

"M-m-Mark! " after I said his name like the most bittery taste inside my mouth I burst and lean my head on the steering wheel. I close my eyes as my breath become heavy, my chest felt tighten and my head felt spinning. I try to open my eyes but what I saw was becoming blury 

I hear some one calling my name that becoming faded to my ear

"Jinyoung where are you? Tell me "

" Jinyoung! "

" Jinyo-"

And all I see is white! I smile to see it. Heaven is opening for me... I close my eyes as I let the white cover all my vision 

....

A/N truth to be told!  I cry myself writting this one. And I'll prepare to cry more and write the most heart breaking chapter I ever done " the letter " will be out soon...