2.30PM Monday 6 March 2017

Pull yourself together, I berated myself as each step I took towards the headquarters felt heavier than the first. The weather was getting a lot less chilly, signifying the end of winter and the coming of spring. After waving to Jieun, who was busy with a delivery, I headed straight to the lifts and went to the shared teachers’ office.

Inside, there were already two ladies who I guessed were the Japanese and Chinese teachers.

“Hello, you must be the English teacher?”

Miyami is 35 and had been working with SM for the past 10 years, ever since Boa and DBSK began entering the Japanese media. Since then, she had been the resident Japanese teacher and interpreter that SM artists use when they have promotions in Japan. Currently, she’s working with the boys from Shinee as they were all having individual promotions in Japan.

Huizhen, from Shanghai, China, was engaged by SM Entertainment in late 2010 when it was decided that Super Junior M was going to have an additional 2 members -  Hyukjae and Sungmin, and that the rest of the Korean members of the group would need a refresher on their Chinese skills.

Both girls were fluent in Korean but we soon discovered we all spoke fluent Mandarin too. After briefly sharing our backgrounds with one another, Miyami then pointed me to the empty desk by the corner of the room.

Both females were friendly enough and I still had burning questions about this prank and hidden camera business. I wanted to ask them something, perhaps some sort of answers would calm my recently overworked nerves. I decided to just throw caution to the wind and go for it. I stood up from my desk and carried some papers to the photocopier in the centre of the room. Huizhen looked up and asked if I needed any help and I decided to ask there and then.

“I do have a question, but not regarding this machine.”

Huizhen smiled kindly as she waited for me to continue.

“I’m new right? And being new… I heard some groups put their new staff through some sort of hidden camera trick?”

It was Miyami who stood up and walked towards me and Huizhen.

“Ah. So you’ve been warned about this and it’s not just some groups. This pranking business only began with Super Junior and the poor, unfortunate staff attached to them.”

Huizhen then perked up, “When I came back from China from the Lunar New Year Holidays in 2011, I brought some dried meat snacks for them because I figured boys like meat, and that’s what my friends here wanted. The next thing I know when I returned, all of them suddenly told me they were swearing off meat. You know they can be such good actors and it went on for a two weeks so here I was with bags of dried meat snacks and I did not know who to give them to.”

“Siwon even accused her of trying to ruin their diet.” Miyami reached out for the photocopied outputs and handed them to me. “Then they just refused to speak to her and got management to speak to her. She thought she was getting fired and that’s when they did the hidden camera trick.”

That sounded harsh, but I had more important questions. “What happened to the dried meat?”

Miyami looked incredulous while Huizhen laughed, “I still have some leftovers from my last trip home. I’ll bring some for you. The boys wolfed it all down in a few days.”

“But why do they do this?”

“No one knows really other than the boys themselves. They say it’s just for fun. But they had to tone it down last year after one of the interns was so affected she cried and the higher-ups were informed. Rumour has it that they were threatened with no album release this year if they kept up with the jokes. You’re the next new staff assigned with them after the intern so let’s see if they will pull any drastic pranks on you.” Huizhen patted me on the shoulder. “I would say to prepare yourself but what do you prepare for?”

The answers I got were not the most satisfying but it gave me insight on how Super Junior worked. Despite their ages, they were still a bunch of teenage boys.

“Did you get a prank too?” I asked Miyami.

“I met some of these boys when they were still trainees. I don’t think they would have dared but Hyukjae and Donghae have changed my water into saltwater once. I never leave my bottle anywhere near them anymore.”

Both Miyami and Huizhen must have felt my anxiety reverberating in the room and gave me one-armed hugs.

“Well, they wouldn’t be the best Korean boyband in the world if they were so boring behind the scenes right?”

“My five year olds weren’t capable of scaring me like this.”

“But then again, were your preschoolers as handsome as the boys you will see in 10 minutes?”

Fair point. But if this was just going to a game that I was bound to lose, I had to minimize the burn somehow, right?

With a renewed zeal, I thanked both ladies and left the room. My heart was still racing for two reasons - 1) the prospect of seeing Lee Sungmin again and 2) this whole prank business was still something I could not get my head around.

A while later

I arrived in the classroom with about 5 minutes to spare and was surprised to see that it was not empty. Kyuhyun was seated in the chair that Sungmin occupied yesterday and looked up when I entered the room.

“Good afternoon!” He greeted chirpily. “Do you need any help?”

Yesterday he was Mr. Ambiguous and today he was playing Mr Nice Guy?

I shook my head but he already grabbed my laptop bag and papers from my hand. He then returned to middle table, which already had a notebook and pen set on it.

“Hyein told me you boys had a photoshoot that wouldn’t end early.”

“I was the first to be done so I changed out and headed here first.” He said matter-of-factly, without looking up.

“But don’t you guys usually stay behind and watch the remaining of the photoshoot?”

Looking up this time, he gave me a smug grin before replying, “I’d rather watch you.”

Words failed me and I could feel heat creeping up my neck. Suddenly incapable of speech, I turned to the materials he placed on my table. Even with his head down, I could still tell he was smiling and it made me rather uneasy. Where were the rest of his Hyungs?

A few more silent minutes passed and Kyuhyun made no further attempt to speak and I was fighting my own worked-up nerves to bother with small talk. It was slightly after 3.15PM that we began hearing the rowdy chatter I began to associate with the members’ arrival. I could only imagine how loud they could be if the whole group of 13 were to be present.

The door opened Heechul rushed to the desk next to Kyuhyun, with Leeteuk shaking his head apologetically at me before closing the door after Yesung entered. I waited for the boys to settle down and stole a glance at Sungmin. Even in his newly-dyed ashen brown hair, he looked beautiful. I know males are not supposed to be beautiful. But he really was.

The door knocked and my best friend popped her head in.

“Mina-yah.” She acknowledged before turning to the males in front of me. “Kyuhyun Oppa, you forgot your iPad at the dressing room!” She brought out the said device and waited for Kyuhyun to retrieve it.

“You can never be found without your iPad? How did you forget it today?”

Kyuhyun took the iPad from her and returned to his seat, looking unabashed.

“He was rushing for class. You know, the diligent student our Kyu is.” Shindong’s tone was playful and teasing and brought out a round of sniggering and clapping from the older members. Even serious Yesung was amused, his eyes twinkled in a smile.

Hyein raised her eyebrows, clearly not in the loop and looked at me. I walked to where she stood, shrugging. “Beats me. He was here before I was.”

Hyein nodded in understanding and smiled broadly. “Don’t lose your head! See you at home!”

I closed the door behind her and headed back to my table, uttering a silent prayer for me to keep my sanity through this lesson.

Even later that day

Jieun and Hyein decided to prepare dinner tonight as their day ended before mine. From the corridor outside of the house, I could already feel my mouth water and I knew this was Jieun’s doing. I’ve lived with Hyein for so long and never did I see her lift a pan. The only recipe she was proud of was improvised ramen and I’ve always been her chosen guinea pig to try her different creations.

Upon opening the door, the smells of fragrant fried rice and spicy stew wafted through the air.

“Yah, Jieun ah, can I trade Hyein for you?”

“I heard that!” Hyein walked out of the hallway leading, freshly showered with her hair wrapped in her pink floral towel.

Feeling a little bit playful, I pulled the tail of the towel as I ran past her, resulting in our noisy scramble into the kitchen.

“Yah, the two of you. Didn’t your moms tell you not to play in the kitchen?”

Jieun looked at us impatiently and it was then I noticed that she had her hair in a bun and little beads of perspiration were speckled on on her forehead.

“If you guys have nothing better to do, bring those dishes out so we can eat.”

After washing our hands, Hyein and I obediently marched out of the kitchen, with plates and utensils in our hands.

“She’s such a mom.”

Jieun soon joined us, carrying the big black pot of stew and I realized I was starving.

After a couple of mouthfuls of silence, Jieun asked me how today went.

“Other than the fact that Kyuhyun Oppa was in the classroom before me, the lesson went rather smoothly.”

“So that’s where he went. He was supposed to be the last one to be shot but he traded with Shindong Oppa, saying that he had to be somewhere after that.” Hyein chewed and swallowed her mouthful of rice before continuing, “The fact he left his iPad behind is a huge deal because that boy is always playing on it. It has to always have battery or else he will give everyone else hell that day if he has nothing to do in the waiting room.”

“He was rather quiet in class today, only answering when I asked questions…”

“But?” Jieun interjected.

I recounted the short conversation we had before the rest of the members came in.

“Oh my god. He flirted with you again!” Hyein looked thrilled and was excitedly tapping the table, her rice bowl and chopsticks laid forgotten.

“This is rather curious. Why, of all members, did they choose to use Kyuhyun Oppa? Isn't he usually the most awkward with the ladies?” Jieun began scooping herself more soup and looked at me.

Remembering that I met Huizhen and Miyami earlier that afternoon, I shared with my friends what they told me.

My two friends looked deep in thought yet none could provide any further answers.

“But are you enjoying the job?”

Am I enjoying the job?

“Even though it’s only been several days, I actually am. It’s really an opportunity of a lifetime. Other than being kept on my toes every time Kyuhyun Oppa speaks, I am alright with the other members. He is actually tolerable when he co-operates?”

“Why does it sound like you’re trying to convince yourself more than us? Is it tough?”

Stalling for time to answer, I focused on my rice while my friends waited patiently. In the background, the opening beats of Walkin’ by Super Junior started playing from my iPod and it was Sungmin’s soothing voice that started the song.

If I trip over my feet and fall, I can always get up and brush it off

Well, the timeliness of that song could not have been better.

“Look at you, a Super Junior song played and you are already smiling like a fool.”

Shaking their heads, my friends continued with their dinner and the topic then shifted to Jieun’s potential love interest - one of the members of a choreography team who came to work with Boa recently.