6.00PM Tuesday 23 May 2017

 

My phone buzzed in my pocket.

 

I can’t decide what to wear. Do you prefer me in a polo or a button-down?

 

I smiled to myself as I punched in my reply.

 

button-down

 

Kyuhyun and I were meeting in half an hour and I was in a gift shop with Hyein. I wanted to get him a farewell gift. Granted, I knew I was going to see him again, perhaps in a couple of months but it felt right to get him something.

 

“Are you sure you’re not just getting him a gift because you’re almost his girlfriend?” Hyein asked teasingly.

 

Ignoring her question, I paid for the item and retrieved the bag from the cashier.

 

“You know, you shouldn’t be giving my number so freely among the members. This is the 3rd member you gave it to already.”

 

Hyein looked at me, aghast. “I told you already, it wasn’t me who gave it this time! And like you said, two other members already have your number. It could have been Heechul Oppa!”

 

Hyein straightened her scarf and linked her arm through mine as we stepped into the windy outdoors.  We walked on the crowded street together, talking about her coming holiday. With one member less, the members of Super Junior’s makeup team were given alternating weeks to take their breaks and Hyein decided to leave me for a getaway to Hokkaido with her sister.

 

“It’ll be nice to be away from all these polluted air coming from China.” She scrunched up her nose as a bus noisily passed us, grey fumes of exhaust trailing behind. “The lavender festival will start soon and that’s the highlight of the trip!”

 

At the traffic junction, Hyein and I parted as we were headed in opposite directions.

 

“Don’t come home too early!”

 

Shaking my head, I quickened my pace and walked towards Grand Hyatt Hotel. Its logo glowed from a distance, with the bright lights of the windows illuminating the building. As I neared the building, I could not help but feel a little under dressed. It was after all, a rather lavish building and I came in a black turtleneck, my favourite plaid flare skirt and tights. The smartly-dressed doorman directed me to the elevators and I soon found myself on Level 5, Helicon Bar. The equally smartly-dressed usher offered to take my coat and pointed me to Room 13.

 

The life of the rich and famous, private rooms just for dinner.

 

Shaking my head in amusement, I found room 13 and pushed the door.

 

“Wow.”

 

“You’re here!” Kyuhyun, who was sitting on the long couch against the wall, looked up when I entered.

 

I was expecting a dining parlour, perhaps with some antiques and expensive furniture and cutlery. But the room I was looking at was not a dining room. It looked like a jazzed-up version of the Noraebang rooms that Hyein and I frequented in our youth. The dark blue couches were lined against the walls, with a glass table in the middle. Laminated song books and a bejeweled microphone stand were next to the tray of drinks and finger food on the table. The TV took up one wall, with the speakers and karaoke machine slotted elegantly on the adjacent wall.

 

“This wasn’t what I had in mind when I said ‘anywhere with good food and music.’” I mumbled as I took the surroundings in.

 

I glanced at the microphone stand and grimaced. “I’m not touching that mic. I don’t sing.”

 

Kyuhyun stood up and it was then that I realized how handsome he was tonight. He has always been gorgeous but there was just something about his fair skin contrasting against his neatly pressed black button-down that got my heart racing. He was looking down at his phone and was unaware of my blatant ogling and thankfully so, giving me time to look away and focus on something else.

 

“Hyein sent me a list of songs that you’ve been listening and singing along to at home. Let me look for it.”

 

Crossing my arms in disbelief of my best friend, I turned to Kyuhyun, “You’ve been asking a lot of people about me, haven’t you? Who did you finally bribe to get my number?”

 

He did not look up from his phone, his slender fingers busy tapping on the screen. “It was a trade. Two of my favourite wines for your number. Rather expensive, don’t you think?”

 

Who would have known? Lee Sungmin, barter trade extraordinaire. Speaking of Sungmin…

 

“Now that Sungmin Oppa is married, does that mean you have the room to yourself now?”

 

“Yeah, why?”

 

“No reason,” I said as I skimmed the menu, before adding. “I used to ship you two real badly.”

 

That caught his attention and he raised an eyebrow at me. I shrugged, “Just thought you’d like to know. I know he’s married now and all but I really hated Zhoumi back then because he always came between you two in fanservice.”

 

Kyuhyun’s expression was an unreadable mix of repulse and shock and I could not help but double up in laughter.

 

“Are you having second thoughts now? You said you wanted to know the real me and this was a part of the real me. Is this still the girl you fell in love at first sight with?”

 

Narrowing his eyes at me, Kyuhyun grabbed the menu from my hands and began tickling me.

 

“Are you teasing me?”

 

He had a firm hold over my left hand and I was no match for his right hand. I could not squirm away so I gave way to laughing. Although I’m quite sure it sounded a lot more like primal squealing. Suddenly, we heard a knock on the door and Kyuhyun let go of my arm and grabbed the menu he earlier tossed aside. I sat up and turned my face away from the door, unable to erase the smile on my face as I tried to catch some air.

 

“Excuse me Sir, would it be alright if we took your orders?”

 

I left the ordering to Kyuhyun and after the staff left, he returned to his phone, mumbling softly to himself.

 

“Ah, I found it.” He began scrolling through a message as I tried to peek but he kept leaning away. “Geez, who was the bastard who broke your heart?”

 

I glanced curiously at the man beside me, his eyes were still firmly glued to his mobile device.

 

“Younha’s We Broke Up Today, Wheesung’s Can’t We, Gummy’s Please Forget Me, Yoo Sung Eun’s Trap and Lyn’s Teddy Bear...” He gave me a pointed look. “I’m offended that there’s not a single song of ours in here.”

 

“When did Hyein send you this?”

 

“About two weeks ago…Why were you so heartbroken? I don’t think I did anything that could have resulted in you listening to all these songs.”

 

“It was my ex-boyfriend’s birthday and I came across a photo of him and his current girlfriend. I just felt sad for a couple of days. No big deal.” I tried to keep my voice neutral and pretended to pick a piece of lint off my skirt.

 

There was silence in the room and we could hear the faded tune of Davichi’s Don’t Say Goodbye coming from the neighbouring room. How appropriate. I reached out and tapped Kyuhyun’s knee. “It’s alright, you don’t have to feel bad. I’m fine. We’re over. Good riddance to bad rubbish, you know. Ask Hyein, she knows I’m totally over him.”

 

Kyuhyun did not look convinced but thankfully, he chose to drop the subject.

 

“You haven't shared with me your one fact of the day yet.”

 

I pretended to give it some thought while Kyuhyun watched me expectantly.

"I don't believe in saying I love yous."

"You don't?" He repeated.

I nodded my head and continued, "I prefer saying. 'I like you a lot'. It's more meaningful to me."

An amused smile traced the outline of Kyuhyun's lips. Wordlessly, he reached down and took the song book from the glass table. 

 

“Interesting fact. So let’s sing then, what’s your favourite song?”

 

Without missing a beat, I answered. “Way of Love.”

 

For a moment, he said nothing. “Of all songs, you chose one that I wasn’t a part of… You know how to hurt a man, Jung Mina.”

 

“It’s my privilege and my responsibility,” I answered, using the same teasing tone he gave me. “But, From U is a beautiful piece.”

 

He reached for the remote and microphones and offered one to me.

 

“I told you. I don’t sing. I can’t.”

 

“Don’t give me that. Everyone can sing, it’s just a matter of how well.”

 

I pushed the proffered mic away, “And I sing well enough to have glass shattering so, no thank you.”

 

I did not even realize that while we were bantering about the microphone, his left hand was busily fumbling with the remote and the soft synthetic beats of From U began playing. The lights began to dim and I felt my stomach do a somersault.

 

“Suit yourself then,” He left the microphone by my side on the sofa and stood up, his eyes on the screen.

 

“This song is dedicated… To the world’s biggest fan club.” He turned and pointed in my direction, giving me that cheesy grin that only made my insides squirm.

 

As his soothing, baritone voice filled the room, I found myself swaying to the music, mouthing the words of the song. After the first chorus, Kyuhyun settled on the couch beside me and reached for my hand. He looked at me and it was a miracle I could still hear him sing given the rampant drumming of my heart.

 

“Just believe in me, I will do well.”

 

That line was my favourite line in the song and it could not be due to pure coincidence that it belonged to him. Hearing him sing it like he did earlier left me breathless. It felt like everything was rising up in me, like I was drowning in this weirdly painful joy, but I could not say anything back. I just looked at him and let him look at me until he nodded, turning away to look at the screen as he continued singing.

And he did not let go of my hand throughout the rest of the evening.

 

Later that evening

 

“Why did you and Hyein choose to stay on the 10th floor?”

 

Kyuhyun insisted on sending me right to my doorstep, my protests were purposefully ignored. We had a quick debate in the car whether or not we should take the elevator and for the sake of him not being recognized by security cameras, we had to go up via the emergency staircase. I was not keen on taking the stairs ten flights up but the man beside me was up for the challenge.

 

“We’re trained for this. The Hyungs and I used to compete in races up to our dorms.” The glare I shot at him was wasted as he was ahead of me and I heard him chuckle. “Don’t give me that look. This is a memorable date, isn’t it?”

 

Kyuhyun reached the 6th floor landing and turned around to wait for me. How was he not breaking a sweat, I did not understand. The air was warm and stuffy in the constrained stairwell and I had already removed my coat.

 

“Why did I agree to take the stairs with you?” I climbed the final step towards him and wiped my brow with my arm. “I should have taken the lift instead.”

 

The smile was still plastered on his face as he shook his head. I looked over at Kyuhyun and saw that he was still human after all. Little beads of perspiration had formed on his forehead and his arms were slick with condensation. He had the top two buttons on his shirt opened and even in the dim lighting, I could see the sweat trails down his neck. We waited a few moments in silence for me to regain my breath. Kyuhyun then held out a hand in front of me.

 

“Ready, your Majesty?”

 

Since childhood, I battled with having sweaty palms and it worsens when I’m nervous or already perspiring. Seeing that I was both, I shook my head and walked ahead of him, using the handlebar for support. I heard him start walking behind me when suddenly, I felt a pull on the bags I had in my right hand. In one swift movement, Kyuhyun swung the bags to his right and slipped his left hand into my free hand. His slender fingers slid comfortably between mine and he clasped our interlocked hands firmly. His touch was warm and comforting. I looked up at him and he flashed me a smile that just was so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushed through me.

 

“Sweaty hands isn’t a big deal for me. Yesung Hyung’s hands are small but they sweat so much, sometimes the mics don’t work because his sweat seeps in.”

 

If that was his idea of comfort, he couldn’t be more wrong. But still, I let myself be led by him and we walked up the stairs, hand in hand until we reached the 10th floor.

 

“I hope that’s the last time I have to do that.” I tapped at our electronic door lock and keyed in the passcode, still panting as my limbs screamed for rest. The door opened with a click and we entered into darkness.

 

“Hyein’s not home yet?” Kyuhyun glanced around the living room and placed my bags on the sofa.

 

He went straight to the shelf next to the sound system and started laughing. I led myself to the kitchen to look for a drink when I heard the clicking of a camera from the living room.

 

“Yah! I didn’t invite you in so you could snoop around.”

 

The camera clicks continued for several more seconds and I could not help but roll my eyes. I don’t think Hyein and I displayed any potentially embarrassing photos in the public spaces of the house. Opening the fridge, I looked at the third shelf that had my name displayed. Due to our rather differing tastebuds, Hyein and I agreed to have separate shelves for our food. The freezer was shared between us because if there was something we could agree on, it was ice cream. I pulled my shelf open. A bag of tomatoes, a basket of various fruits, some chocolate bars and a half-drank bottle of banana milk. I made a mental note that I had to do some grocery shopping soon. I eyed Hyein’s fully-stocked shelf. She had an unopened pack of cider. Surely she wouldn’t mind if I borrowed two cans. Bending low, I reached out for the pack and began to open it.

 

“The two of you actually separate your food like this?”

 

The sudden nearness of his voice gave me a shock and I let out a yelp.

 

“Don’t do that.”

 

Grinning to himself, Kyuhyun reached over and pulled the pack of cans from me. He tore the green packaging easily, handed me a can and returned the rest to the fridge.

 

“Why is it in Hyein’s side of the fridge but you’re opening it?”

 

Ignoring him, I pointed at the paper bag that was lying on the sofa.

 

“That’s your farewell gift.”

 

He paused mid-sip, an eyebrow arched perfectly on his face.

 

“You got me a gift?” He looked really surprised. “Why?”

 

I shrugged. I asked myself the same question last night but I was not able to answer.

 

“It’s the right thing to do? Because we’re friends? Friends give each other gifts? ”

 

I felt my cheeks heating up but Kyuhyun’s unwavering gaze was still fixated on me. Feeling bashful, I walked towards the sofa. He followed behind me and took the paperbag in his hands. He still wore a look of amusement and he reached for the card that was attached to the box.

 

“Don’t!”

 

His amused smile grew into a smirk and he nodded his head. He was not going to make this easy for me.

 

“Read it when you’re alone. Just look at the present inside the box.”

 

Kyuhyun lifted the lid of the box and I watched his face with bated breath. His face was unreadable for a couple of moments before he turned to look at me, a chuckle escaping his lips.

 

“You gave me a teddy bear?”

 

“Because it’s small enough for you to keep in your bag and when you need encouragement...” I pushed the centre of the plush toy.

 

“Oppa! You can do it, we’re all waiting for you!”

 

A smile flickered on his face for a moment and was replaced with a frown. I felt my heart skip a beat and the initial satisfaction I felt began to morph into disappointment. Kyuhyun was silent for a while.

 

“Why? You don’t like it? Well, you can’t be picky, it’s a gift.”

 

He levelled his gaze with mine.

 

“It would have been nice if you said ‘I’ instead of “We’.”

 

Resisting the urge to roll my eyes, I pushed the belly of the stuffed toy twice.

 

“Kyuhyun Oppa. Remember, I like you a lot!”

 

The effect was instantaneous. Kyuhyun then immediately mimicked my action and brought the toy to his ear. My recorded voice played several times and I began to feel embarrassingly self-aware. It was only a few times before it sounded sickening.

 

“Yah, that’s enough. It’s for you to listen to when you’re alone in the training camp.”

 

Ignoring me, he continued playing the recording, the smile never leaving his face. I watched him as I continued drinking from my can. I felt the ball in the base of my throat hardening and I tore my gaze from him and walked towards the kitchen. I did not want to cry and I had no reason to. Clenching my jaw, I started on Mom’s breathing exercises. In the middle of the second round, I heard the front door beep, announcing Hyein’s return. Pushing the foreign feelings of heartache away, I ran to the front door and reached Hyein just as she stepped into the living room.

 

She looked from the now standing Kyuhyun to me, raising an eyebrow.

 

“He wanted to send me right to the doorstep, and well… I invited him in.”

 

Nodding her head a little too much for my liking, Hyein greeted Kyuhyun, her gaze falling onto Kyuhyun’s can of cider on the floor. I gave her an apologetic shrug and wrapped my arm around her.

 

“I’ll buy you a new pack tomorrow, I promise!”

 

Hyein gave me a playful nudge and separated herself from me, walking towards Kyuhyun.

 

“So, how was your date?”

 

“Who said it was a date?”

 

“It was great.”

 

Kyuhyun raised an eyebrow while Hyein folded her arms, giving me a look that plainly said, “Really?”

 

“You didn’t protest when I said it was a date earlier.”

 

“That was because I was exhausted from climbing 10 bloody floors. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

 

The two of them looked at each other and exchanged mischievous smiles and I felt cornered.

 

“Whatever. I’m going to shower.” I walked in the direction of my room and left the two behind.

 

The last thing I heard before closing the door was Hyein’s shriek of surprise.

“You got her to climb all ten floors? Daebak. That girl complains about the stairs each time we take the subway!”