The time is currently 00:45 of April 22nd. I am writing to you this late because I am not sure if I can write into words the embarassment I felt today. Yesterday may have been an unexciting day for my broken heart but it was what I needed. Today, on the other hand, have been really a day full of blushing and facepalms. You see, as I am writing to you right now, I know you will cringe so hard from the secondhand embarassment of my freshmen days in high school. Well, here it goes... don't say I didn't warn you. 

The moment I woke up today, I know what I just wanted to do. My Day 5 on my  bucketlist is to be the High school Busan girl that is me for a day. Do the things I have had always done when I was still here. To just reminisce my old self and how I have had always been carefree and not this uptight woman that I am now today. 

Don't get me wrong, reminiscing my high school self doesn't mean going back to my high school. If anything, to be honest, I was the master of skipping classes. I didn't really do good in high school. Everyone can attest to that. Instead I go to places, nice places, in Busan to waste my school day. Since i can't go to every single place that I have been to before, I picked only the best 3 places I know by heart. Gukje Market, Jangsan Mountain and lastly, Gwangalli Beach. 

My mother was schocked to see me up before she does. I prepared food for them and for me as well. I packed my lunch and some refreshments. 

"What are you up to?" my mother asked the moment she appeared in the kitchen.

"I'm going out for the day" I answered while my hands are preoccupied with everything that's needed to be packed.

My mother, still being guilty for what happened to me, asked no questions anymore. She kept silent while she set the table. The high school me would just shrug her off until I get over the hurt even though I feel guilty. I know I have been very hurt but like I said, I don't want to hold grudges anymore, especially to my mom. I know I would be the high school me for a day but not in this way. 

So I stopped packing, went to her and hugged her from behind. 

"I know you're sorry Ma, but I forgive you already. Stop feeling guilty about it" I declared as I settled my head in her shoulder. 

My mom reciprocated my embrace and tapped my hands that encirled her.

"I just want what's best for you dear" she replied.

"I know you do ma" I answered. I almost choked as I added "but I'm a big girl now. I can handle the truth".

I felt her gulped and sighed before saying "That even makes me sadder. You don't even get to visit me ever so often and you are my first child, you will always be my baby and I just don't want to see you hurt. This one month vacation of yours, I want it to be the best and I want you to be happy" 

I let go of the hug and she turned to my direction and this time she hugged me while she sobs silently.

"I love you ma" I declared

"I love you too my baby" she answered. 

We stayed like that for a moment. My mom may not be perfect but she's still my mom and I'm still her kid. Nothing can and no one can ever change that bond.

"Ma, you know you're being overdramatic right?" I joked.

She let me go from her grasp and  asked "Now where are you really off to?" 

"Oh you know ma, just somewhere" I answered playfully. 

Everytime my mother got a call from my adviser asking my whereabouts and my mother couldn't answer. I always get yelled at by the same 6 words— "Where have you been all day?!" 

And I always lazily answer "Just somewhere".

Now that I have finally grown into an adult, I still carry my old self within me.

After all the dramatic shiz and all the foods were prepared, I have taken my leave.

It was early in the morning and the weather was so fine, it was the perfect day for hiking so my first stop for the day was the Jangsan Mountain. 

I know I may not seem like it but I really am into hiking or physical activities in general. I may have been a hermit for the last 10 years, but I still got power within. 

If you havent known yet,  there are active landmines along the trails of the mountain so its risky but thats what makes it fun!

Since I left late because of all the drama shenanigans, I wasn't able to witness the sunrise at the height of the mountain. But it's okay, nothing can ever beat the breeze while hiking. 

I would have spent less than 30 mins reaching the top but since I am in no rush, it took me 4 hours to go up and down evenly. Once, I was down, it was near noon so I ate my packed lunch and proceeded to my next destination...the Gukje Market!!! 

Who doesn't love (window) shopping and eating street foods??? NONE, I believe. Like I said in my first entry, I have had always loved clothes so basically shopping. It was my guilty pleasure. And back then, the Gukje Market was the biggest market for a small town of mine, so far from the civilized capital city that is Seoul.

For a small town, or city rather, everyone knows everyone, so when I went to the market earlier everyone was like

"Omo, Jung Eunji! Long time no see!"

"It's Jung Ilhwa's daughter!"

"Where have you been kid? I haven't seen you in ages"

"Would you look at that? It's finally Jung Eunji back from the dead"

"It's our Accountant of Busan!"

Also because they were the same vendors I have always seen before and it warms my heart that they are still here. I bowed and greeted them as well. Just like the old times...

I was happily greeting everyone when I hear someone said from my behind "Oh? If it isn't my mystery girl"

And in that moment, I didn't know it was possible to pray a thousand times. I prayed I was invisible.

Before we get into that moment, let me give you a background check of what happened in my freshmen year... PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME

Ok Taecyeon was everything (Even way before Jimin). Not just to me but to everyone else's. He was a Senior when i entered high school and the moment I saw him when I first entered the gates of Busan High School waving at the arriving students, I knew he was the one. 

I was with Seulgi that time and I knew I just had to call dibs on him before she does and she made way of course. I have learned he was a total package, a student leader, an athlete, he got the brains, he got the looks, HE'S GOT EVERYTHING!!! And I was just there, secretly liking him. You ask where's the harm in that and how I came to be the 'mystery girl' he will always be reminded of? Well, let me just blame this all on Seulgi! It was her idea! I should have known that I will always be caught no matter what. I kept my distance from him all throughout the year-- all because he was famous and he would never even once notice me-- and I should've have stayed that way but everything changed on that very last month of school.

It all started one lazy Sunday afternoon at Kang Residence. Seulgi and I were just chilling doing our thing, but mostly it was me rambling about my love to the great Ok Taecyeon and how I should tell him how I feel before we end classes in a month. Seulgi told me this story of her other friend wherein the girl sent gifts to guy she liked and the guy found it weird the first few times but they ended up together eventually. Seulgi then pushed me to do the same. It sounds so cliche and unrealistic today considering the many social platforms to send your love but Seulgi's idea meant everything to me before. It was a brilliant plan! It made me believe I could have a chance. 

The only difference would be, I would be sending him gifts anonymously unlike her girl friend. I know you're all thinking, "What's the point?" because Seulgi reprimanded me the same but I had this strange plan to stage my anonymosity and reveal myself later when he's going to finally graduate. I would send him chocolates with love letters anonymously thrice for the first 3 weeks of the last month and that by the official last day of school I would hand them myself. Of  course, you'd have known by now, I failed.

So the following day, I went to this only Chocolate shop in Busan that time. I chose a heart shaped chocolate and asked the vendor to write a letter together with it. Of course, I asked them to rewrite my letter because I just wanted to be safe and anonymous, my handwriting included. I told them I would get the chocolate by Thursday afternoon after school. 

I would like to keep my letter unknown to all of you but I remembered my greetings that went "To my everything, Ok Taecyeon" and the closing remarks as "Your mystery girl"

I felt all kind of excitement and giddy for those 3 days, Monday through Wednesday, waiting for Thursday to finally come so that I can get the chocolate and for Friday so that I can finally give it to him during Senior's Assembly.

But then on Thursday lunch, everything changed. Every year has their own side of the cafeteria so imagine my palpitations when My Everything approached my table and gave me the exact same chocolate I would be getting for him on that same day. 

Is this destiny? I thought in my mind. I couldn't breathe and I couldn't believe that My everything, Ok Taecyeon dropped by my table to give me a chocolate when everyone was looking!!! THIS. IS. NOT. A. DRILL.

Everyone was just as shocked as I was and everyone was looking at me intently to open the goddamn letter. You can just imagine the horror in my face  when I finally got a glimpse of the Ietter I composed myself to be given to him the next day. I could feel all the colors leave my face. I went pale. I almost didn't want to look at him but I still did.

He was just there, standing all so mighty and smiling. He went near me and whispered "It's a free of charge delivery from our shop. Don't worry" and then he looked at me again and smiled. He said one more thing before he left, "I would be expecting tomorrow Mystery Girl"

Of ing course, who would have known that they own the Chocolate shop, because I didnt!!!

My heart was beating so fast, not because Ok Taecyeon approached me, not because Ok Taecyeon gave me a chocolate, not because Ok Taeyeon smiled at me, not because Ok Taecyeon whispered into my ear but all because Ok Taecyeon made me feel all sort of feelings I didn't know I could feel in just one sitting. But most of all, I felt embarassment. 

While I spent the remaining hours of the day being teased by how lucky I was by my fellow freshmen, all intrigued if I was dating the great Ok Taecyeon, I was dying inside. I wanted to cry and break down and just go home. It was all too much for a day. It was too much that my heart couldn't handle. 

The moment Ok Taecyeon noticed me was the moment he broke my heart. 

It was the first week of the last month of school and I couldn't wish for more for the school year to end already. Of course, I didn't give him the chocolates on that Friday but instead I skipped classes and ate the chocolates myself and promised myself to never pass by him by the hallways, to never see him again and to ignore him for the rest of the remaining school days. 

It was in that moment, I felt my heart break.

Okay, so now that you have known THAT story of my past, let's get back to what happened today... Imagine the horror in my face when I turned to look at that one man's voice and saw him.

Like always, he was just there...standing and smiling...dashing as ever... and in that moment my heart skipped a beat.

"Hi" I greeted trying my very best to keep on my toes.

"Hello to you too Mystery Girl"

There he goes again... please stop with that nickname.

I smiled and laughed about it just to say it to his face that I am over him and over that ing incident. Truth be told, I wasn't.

"I would like to say sorry about that. I was so stupid that I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't even know why you of all people right?" I rambled, nervously.

"Why me of all people? Ouch" He pretended he was hurt and pouted.

Stop... my heart

"Okay. You're not so bad" I retorted back.

And this time he showed me that eyesmile I fell in love with the first time I saw him. And I smiled back. 

He asked me where I was headed after and since I didn't want to spend any more time with him because he's my biggest mistake, it was the cue I needed for me to leave.

"Oh, I'm just roaming around the market for a little while and then you know, see where my feet lead me" I answered.

"Oh, well then. I would love to catch up but I'm in a hurry myself! See you around my mystery girl" he replied and before I could reply, he was on his feet walking away from me.

Did he just say he would love to catch up? Bruh, what's there to catch up between us? Really?

After that, I blocke dhim out of my mind. I roamed around the whole market and ate street foods along the way, I was so into the moment that I didn't know it was already 5 in the afternoon. Oops. I still got one more destination to go so better set off.

A lot has changed at the Gwangalli Beach. There were many establishments all around-- even a five star hotel was built-- and there were many kolks to visit at along the seashore.

Though times have changed and it doesnt look the same way as before with all the add ons, it was still the same old beach, I grew up with. It's the same sand, same sea, same shoreline, same sky but different time. It was very overwhelming to reminisce the past. I felt a mixture of sadness and happiness from within. 

After tiring myself from looking around and trying out the kolks and new gimmicks at the beach, I decided to dine at the five star hotel and check it out for myself.

They were only serving dinner from 8PM to 10PM only and I made it just in time so I went inside, ordered the foods I would like to endeavor for tonight without looking at the price.

After I had been served, I finished my plate in no time and I enjoyed every single bit of it. My tummy was happy!

Apparently, the hotel restaurant has this tradition of presenting their chefs behind the delicious foods served for the night. All at once, the attention was focused on nothing but the chefs appearing. One by one, the chef appeared receiving each a round of applause. My hands slowly halted when I saw Taecyeon. 

What the? 

I should've known that this man, whose family owned the Chocolate shop before, can cook.

Of ing course, our eyes met. Like I always said, he was just there standing and smiling. Dashing as ever. What can I do? His smile is contagious. I couldn't help but smile as well. 

If I wasn't looking closely, I wouldn't make out the words he was mouthing to me... and he said "Wait for me"

It was past 10 and I didn't know why I waited but I did and before I know it, he was walking me home. WALKING ME HOME! THIS. IS. NOT. A. DRILL.

"I waited, you know" he spoke up after a pregnant silence between us had passed.

"What?" I asked, not clearly making out what he meant.

"For your chocolate" he answered.

I almost choked.

"But it didn't came and I haven't seen you ever since then" he added.

I didnt know what to answer so I kept my mouth shut and we walked in silence. I didn't realize how near the beach was from my home when we arrived at the destination because I only exhanged one word with him and bam, I'm home.

"So here's me" I told him as we stopped in front of our house,

He looked at me and smiled.

"So this is where my mystery girl lives"

"Shut up" I jokingly teased.

"What? You don't want to reminisce the past, now that you are already this city girl the town is all talking about?" he asked faking disappointment.

I laughed at his remark.

"Stop! I'm not that even famous" I retorted.

He laughed as well at my reply. 

"No one can ever made me stop calling you that. And besides that was our little secret. Unless you told anyone" he replied.

I shook my head.

"Then good, we have a secret together" he replied.

I laughed at how childish he's becoming. 

"Good night my mystery girl" he said.

"Whatever goodnight to you too now go" I replied as I ushered him to go. 

"Say that two words" he said.

"What two words?" I asked. And in that moment, I knew what he was asking of me because he was forcing himself not to laugh and I was blushing so hard as well.

"Come on. You have to say it" he asked again.

I facepalmed and forced myself not to cringe just by the thought of it. 

"Okay okay. Goodnight my everything" I finally said.

And we ended up cringing and laughing our asses off. We laughed out too loud, we were afraid we woke up the neighbourhood.

When he left. And I was left there feeling all the emotions I didn't know I could feel all at once. But mostly happiness. 

My heart was beating fast, not because I was face to face with Ok Taecyeon who cost me my first heart break, not because of the embarassment I felt with Ok Taecyeon before, not because I thought Ok Taecyeon was playing with my feelings... but now, finally because Ok Taecyeon approached me, finally because Ok Taecyeon smiled at me, and finally because I realized Ok Taecyeon didn't leave my heart at all.

X

If you're wondering why this random pairing, I don't know if you remembered but way back 2012? or 2013? There was a poll in which Eunji and Taecyeon won as celebrities fans want most as neighbors. 

You know the drill, comment if you're present :)

--oppaji