Today is April 18th of 2017 and it is currenlty 22:30. This journal will serve as my bestfriend all throughout the 365 days I am left to live with. Welcome to Day 1. 

They say you only live once so you have to make the right choices and do the things you've been wanting to do but I say you get to live not only once but you get to live every single day. And that's not just once, I believe. 

I have been giving up on life lately, I have been living every single day just for the sake of merely breathing. Everyday I go to the Accounting firm I work to, balance everything that should be balanced, I skip breakfast, eat the hunger over lunch and I always get a chinese take out for dinner. Sometimes, I dont eat dinner at all but I always make sure to get some chinese take out even though I end up not eating it. I guess, it just became a habit. Once I finished dinner on days I decided to, I immediately crash into my bed without taking a bathe and visit dreamland for at least 5 hours the most. The cycle continues.

And today when I woke up, the first thing that came into mind was "I have to stop. I need to change"

So intead of doing the usual cycle, I grabbed some breakfast over at Wendy's even though I am aware that I am already an hour late. I finished eating after another hour so that leaves me 2 hours of tardiness already. I went to the office and while everyone gave me questioning and disappointed looks, I went straight to my desk and collected everything in my possession and put them into a box, the one I have always kept waiting for this day to come. I gathered everything and stomped off my feet towards the manager's office and dropped my resignation letter. 

The manager was on his phone when I dropped the bomb, so he told the other line to hold on one second and gave me a questioning look. Like I have been possessed. I know I may sound like I'm bragging but I am one of the best CPA's in this firm so this clearly came off as a surprise. 

I said nothing maintaining my stern look and bowed to him before I made my exit. He tried to stop me but no one and nothing is gonna stop me. I have worked for this damn firm for over a decade already. I need this change.

I stormed off the building and went outside the streets smiling and twirling around like I am still a kid. Oh how sweet freedom tastes like.

It was 9 in the morning and just by looking at myself in the reflection of the mirrors in the building, I hated what I look like. How did I end up not caring?

I went straight to a Waxing Salon and waxed every single hair in my body. Then I went to a hair salon and got a haircut. It had been so long since I got myself a bangs and dyed my hair so this hazelnut colored hair with my bangs complementary to it, I gotta admit I look damn good. 

It was already past 1 in the afternoon and I haven't had lunch yet but fear not, I had breakfast so that makes up for it. However, being the changed person I am, I went to Yellow Cab and rewarded myself an 8-sliced pizza. This may sound like I'm exaggerating but I haven't had pizza in 10 years.

After eating, I went to buy myself some new clothes. It's time to throw away these uniforms I have been hating to wear to be really honest and hello to the trendy new stuff.

And then, my favorite time of the day came... dinner time! You see, I havent told you why I always go to this chinese restaurant for dinner even though at times I don't eat is because of this one person...

"Good evening ma'am. What would you like to order?" he greeted me, just like he always do every night.

I told him my usual order and he punched the details on the machine in front of him. "Would that be all Ma'am? This is for take out right?" he asked, like he always do. 

"No, I'm going to dine here" I replied smiling.

He was surprised for a moment and then he mirrored my smile. 

"Alright. Order's coming right up for Ms..."

"Jung Eunji" I added.

"...Ms Jung Eunji in 10." 
"Thank you" 

"You're welcome and Byun Baekhyun, always at your service Ma'am" he said before I left to take a seat.

I sat in a corner just around the corner but the counter still visible enough for me to see him. It would be an understatement if I say, I didn't develop any admiration towards this cheeky eyed guy but I do hence the constant visit. In my 10 years of living like a robot, he is my constant reminder that, I am at least human at the very least. 

When my food was served, I devoured my food just like I did in breakfast and lunch. I forgot the feeling of eating 3 meals a day and definitely promised myself to continue doing so.

I left the restaurant right after my meal and caught a glance of him before leaving. It would have been better for me to extend my gratitude to him. For being the only constant thing in my life for the past 10 years that reminds me I'm alive. 

I would've wanted to at least say thank you before I leave... forever in this restaurant. I feel a pang of sadness knowing that this is the last time I'll be seeing him and I don't even have the chance and privilege to talk to him.

One thing is for sure though, he had been my Saviour all these time and I hope he continues being the blessing that he is to other people.

Goodbye Byun Baekhyun

So, yeah that basically summed up my day. Before I forget, I just want to tell you all that I AM NOT IN ANY WAY DYING. I just had this idea in my mind, an intervention per se, to change my life. 

So basically number 1 in my bucketlist is to treat the next whole 365 days (for a year) like it's the only time I have left.

x

Hi! I know I havent finished Ex's and Oh's yet here I am starting a new one. I dont know man, I just feel like I have to write this. LOL.

I know it maybe short but fear not, I will update everyday FOR THE WHOLE 365 DAYS!!! So yall have to stick with me thru all this okay?!

-- oppaji