It is currently 21:30 of April 21st and the reason why I'm writing to you this early is because I don't intend to talk about how my day went today... because I did nothing. LITERALLY nothing. 

Okay, I know I promised to be a changed person and be productive everyday but you gotta give me a break after what happened today like I need the whole day to process everything!!! How everyone treats me like I don't belong, like I'm not one of them, LIKE I AM A STRANGER!!! WHY IS EVERYBODY MOVING ON AND LEAVING ME BEHIND? I know I have been so worked up but I, at least, deserve updates and clarifications and most especially closures! Don't I deserve that?

I know that you get where I'm coming from and  A DAY OFF of just reflecting and self pity-ing was what i needed. So the moment my mom thought that I was way overtime in my room (since I skipped breakfast), she knocked on my door. I didn't open her though and told her to go away. Funny because I used to do this everytime I threw tantrums when I was in high school so let's just say my mother knows what's going on. Since she felt partly at fault, she left my brunch and dinner on the foot of my door (which I'm very thankful for by the way because me throwing tantrums doesn't mean I would fast. LOL. I was just really waiting for the perfect timing to go downstairs and sneak food to my room).

So, I came to another conclusion while reflecting on my life... Since i don't get to enjoy the luxury of being alone, doing nothing for the last 10 years, I decided to give my self an incentive of having a LAZY DAY once every 10 days or within the span of every other 10 days. And I decided to use that card today on my 4th day. LOL. You may think I'm just making excuses, but I'm really not. Okay, kind of! I have to make an excuse for me being so senti today!

Of course, I also learned something from my self reflection today. Though I have been badly hurt yesterday from all the confrontations and , I chose to let it all go. I don't want to spend my whole life for the next year holding grudge against someone. I don't dig that. Tomorrow is a new day for me and another check in my bucketlist, for sure. But tonight will be the last time I will cry my heart out about this heartache. 

Don't worry, tomorrow I will be okay. Not fully but I will try my very best to be the best person and be professional about all this. Of course, what would my life be if i don't forgive right? 

Just give me tonight. Tomorrow i will be okay. 

I will cry until I fall asleep tonight but basically, day 4 in my bucketlist is letting everything go and a lazy day.

X

Tbh, today is a very busy day for me so I didn't have time to write a long update and also a lazy day for our Jung Eunji is everything she needed. :)) 

Since, I am present everyday, I want my readers to comment down if they're present as well! xoxo

-- oppaji