I am writing to you at exactly 22:30 of April 20th. Today was such a disaster. I didnt mean for it to be this way but one thing led to another and everything just went from there.

Right before I went to sleep last night, I thought of my plans for the next day which is basically today. I planned on visiting an old friend of mine, my estranged best friend specifically. You see, Day 3 on my bucketlist says to bury my past— of course, Jimin inclusive.

I woke up early today, never mind how late I was put to bed. I wanted to help my mother prepare breakfast. I have always believed that I am a good cook, a little bit rusty I admit.

Just as I was setting the table, I thought of what happened last night. With him. It was really good catching up with Jimin. The mini get together last night felt just like the old times. We may even have a chance on this relationship of ours. We could start anew.

Just as I was lost in my thoughts, I was pushed back to reality when I heard someone enter the house. My head automatically snapped on the direction to see who it was.

"Were you expecting someone else noona?' jungkook teased.

I may have looked a tad bit of disappointed because Kookie laughed at me.

"Whatever" I replied to him.

While we were eating, my mother brought up the topic of my business today, coincidentally.

"When are you going to visit Seulgi?" my mother asked before placing spoonful in .

"Today, actually" I replied.

Though Seulgi and I were not on good terms when I left Busan, a misunderstanding both our parents weren't aware of. Heck, I wasnt even aware as well as to how she kept her distance. We were the bestest of friends. Since our parents were already friends beforehand, Seulgi and I was made to be friends even from the start—from the day we were born until the day we die.

I just really wished that I would have known why she suddenly pushed me away before she passed. And now, I'm left with nothing but 'what ifs'

After we ate, I went to prep myself for the day. Thinking of the many possibilities that will happen today and how proud I was to be on the 3rd day already of my new life.

I would like to think I'm the most precious thing in this house as of now so when I came downstairs after prepping myself, I was shocked to see no one but a note sticking on the refrigerator saying "Mom is going to the market and I'm meeting up with old friends — Kookie"

Of course, the world doesnt revolve around me.

I went to the cemetery firsthand. I put down the freshly picked sunflowers from our backyard. Seulgi always told me before that if she dies before me, I would make sure to give her sunflowers when I visit her grave. I promised— a promise that I can finally turn to reality 7 years after her passing.

"I dont know why you did what you did. I dont know why you pushed me away. I dont why you stopped being there for me. 10 years ago, I may have lost you but 3 years later I didnt know I would lose you forever. It wasnt you whom I also lost 7 years ago but also Jimin. I dont know why people walk out of my life with no explanations at all. Dont I deserve the luxury of closures?" I reprimanded to really no one in particular.

"Though we didnt end well, you will always be my bestest friend, a sister I never had" I added before I left her grave.

I went to visit the Kang Residence after. Seulgi's parents are my 2nd parents same as my parents are her 2nd parents as well.

I was greeted with the warmest hugs and kisses by her mother and a fatherly hug from her father.

"I am truly sorry for only visiting today. If you are mad, I can accept all the hatred" I declared.

They ended up laughing. 

"Oh dear, what are you talking about? We knew the nature of your work. Jimin reassured us that all the time" Mrs. Kang replied as she ushered me to seat in the couch while Mr. Kang prepared drinks for me.

"Jimin?" Just the thought of him made me smile. And even though he left me, I guess he never stopped caring. Or so I thought...

"Yes! My son in law Jimin!" Mrs. Kang exclaimed.

What?

"Have you seen my grandson?" Mrs. Kang continued.

Son in law? Grandson? What is going on?

My confusion must have came off as something to be taken lightly because Mrs. Kang continued on describing the grandson that I am not aware of and most especially the son in law that is Jimin.

I never really heard anything after. I was so lost in my confusion. If this is what I think it is...

"How old is this boy?" I asked disrupting Mrs. Kang narrating.

"6 years old dear!" Mrs. Kang replied happily.

"And why did Seulgi die?" I asked another just in time Mr. Kang arrived with my drinks.

"Childbirth my dear" Mr. Kang answered my question.

Then 7 years ago, did Jimin leave me to be there when Seulgi gave birth to their son?

Mr. Kang must have had noticed my uneasiness because he tapped Mrs. Kang who was still lost in narrating to stop.

"Eunji! Are you okay? You look so pale" Mrs. Kang exclaimed.

"I believe you were already aware that they were together right even way before you left Busan" Mr. Kang commented looking at me thru those glasses.

Even ing way before I left Busan?! Is this what Seulgi been telling her parents? Is this the reason why she kept her distance from me because she had been screwing with my boyfriend behind my back? And did Jimin really cheat on me? 

I exhaled so deep before answering my bestfriend's parents and faked my smile.

"Of course! I have always known. Me and Jimin were way over and besides we were just kids back then we got together thats why we didnt last" I reassured them. "I just didnt know that she was having a baby... She never told me and that she died because of childbirth... No one told me either" I continued.

"Your mother didnt tell you?! Really?" Mrs. Kang exclaimed.

I shook my head.

"Maybe she just didn't want to stress you. Your job is already too much of a stress I heard" Mr Kang tapped my shoulder.

I nodded my head. Not really sure if anything makes sense at the moment. And Jimin, to think he flirted with me last night?! Giving me false hopes?! Am I really gullible?

I stayed until lunch there. Though it pains my heart to hear them talk about my bestfriend and boyfriend cheat behind my back, I stayed for them. They've had always treated me like their daughter and I have also treated them like a family. Nothing and no one can break that bond.

I have learned so many new things. I have learned that the baby boy's name is Subin. He is currently under Jimin's care. They also suggested I should visit. Oh hell I will.

It was past 2PM when I left the Kang Residence. Looks like its not just my past with Seulgi that will be buried today but also Jimin's whom I really thought we could start anew.

Before I go and confront Jimin, I decided to walk along the Boulevard. When I was a kid, I used to walk around here especially when something is bugging me. Today is one of those days.

There is always about the sea horizon and  how the see breeze smells that calms my nerves. It helps me meditate and reflect on myself and life.

It took me 30 minutes before I finally gathered myself up.

Its time to bury the past.

I walked towards Jimin's. Like me, his father is also abroad. Like Seulgi, he is also an only child. Like Seulgi, he is also a parent now. Leaving me out of the picture.

I rang the doorbell on their gate though the gate is unlocked and waited. This is so unlike me. Usually. I just go inside directly but those were the times. Now, I am no one. I am a stranger to my family. I am a stranger to my bestfriend. I am stranger to my ex-boyfriend. I am a stranger to everyone. 

It was after the third bell when someone came running to the gate... this must be Subin.

Following him from behind was Jimin and the moment he saw me, he stopped and stared, like he had just seen a ghost.

"E-eunji" he stuttered.

He slowly walked towards his son and grasped his shoulders.

"You go inside first" he told his son.

"Oh no. I should meet Subin, Jimin." I stopped him. "I should meet my bestfriend and your son" I added.

Jimin who was looking at me in horror is now avoiding my gaze.

I knelt down and caressed the cheek of Subin. 

"You look so much like your father." I commented while looking at the kid smiling as I said it.

"You do have the eyes of your mother though" I added and this time I'm patting him by the head.

"Who are you?" Subin asked respectfully.

"Me?" I said while I stood up looking at him to Jimin and back to him. "I am no one" I answered.

So basically after that, I walked away. Okay, I dont want to seem dramatic but I was really reallly pissed off at Jimin for making me believe that we still have a chance together.  ing .

I went to the boulevard once again and reflected on how this day went. What a turn of events. 

I went home to finish one more thing tonight— My mom. I have to confront her.

"Ma. There's this cute little boy in the neighbourhood. Have you seen him already?" I asked firsthand the moment I arrived. She was rummaging through the ingredients she bought home from the market.

She stopped to look at me. "What little boy?"

I picked up a pickel and took a bite before answering "Subin"

This time, I saw my mother gulped before turning to look at me. She stared at me sorrowfully and cupped my cheeks.

"I'm sorry" she said.

"I dont want to hurt you further" she said.

"I thought its for the best" she said.

She said so much more after that but I was stone cold. I didnt feel a thing. In that moment, I was buried together with my past.

X

Okay! I MADE IT! AS PROMISED! I kept my side of the bargain to update everyday even though it's late!!! :)

Thank you for the 40+ subbies!!!

-- oppaji