Eunha tossed and her bed. Her body was tired yet she’s unable to fall asleep. Eunha watched the way the raindrops fall on the window. She noticed the way a droplet fall, followed by another droplet of the rain. The third droplets of the rain soon followed. Chasing after the second droplets who chased after the first droplets of rain.

Maybe Eunha was just being sentimental. Maybe she’s just being stupid. But, for some reason she wanted to cheer for the third droplet. Wanted to cheer for it to reach the second droplet. It reminded of herself. She wondered just how her relationship with Yerin took a lonely turn. They were in love once. And then she’s left as the only one being in love. But, why? What did she do wrong?  What did they do wrong?

Eunha’s mind too took a turn at the lonely road. She’s feeling rather sad and gloomy. Eunha dislike the way Yerin still affected her, even after they broke up. Are they even breaking up? Eunha didn’t remember if they have broken up or not. Because as days passed, she and Yerin have grown further apart from each other. Then one day, they just stopped seeing each other.

Eunha sighed. She walked toward the window. She wanted to close the blind. She didn’t need to watch the rain anymore. However, her eyes caught some movement from out of the window. She squint her eyes to try to take a better look at the shadowy figure. Wait a minute, isn’t that-

Eunha opened her window in a hurry. The cold wind splashed at her. “Sowon-unnie!? What are you doing there?! You are going to get sick!” Eunha shouted to the figure playing under the rain.

Sowon only looked at her and wave.

--

“Unnie, why are you here without an umbrella?” Eunha tiptoed to cover Sowon’s body with an umbrella. Why is Sowon-unnie growing to be as tall as a giraffe? We used to have a similar height in the past...

Sowon looked down at her with a smile. “Should we dance, Eunha?”

Eunha’s eyes got big in disbelief. Because the sensible Sowon just asked her out on a dance under the rain, without an umbrella. The same Sowon, who used to scold her when she played with a rain puddle at the nearby park.

“Are you going crazy, unnie?” Eunha voiced out her thought.

Sowon barked a laugh. She pulled Eunha close to her. She twirled her around while Eunha continued to look in disbelief. Until Sowon hold her waist to lift her up. Eunha squealed in surprised.

“Unnie!” her hold of the umbrella got loose. Her umbrella flied away.

Sowon laughed even harder. “Look, even your umbrella is having fun. See, it’s dancing with the rain.” Sowon pointed at the flying umbrella.

Eunha looked at how wide Sowon’s smile was. Drenched from head to toe in her pajamas. Looking so happy, so innocent. And Eunha found herself smiling fondly at Sowon. “You are crazy, Sowon-unnie.”

Sowon laughed again. She continued to twirl Eunha around. In the end, Eunha put her arms around Sowon’s neck while Sowon’s hands were holding her waist. Their movement was in synch. And they dance to the rhythm of the rain. Occasionally, the thunder provided some additional drumming for them.  And the cold wind will give them some really cold kisses. And sometimes, the sky was taking their photos with some flashy lightning. Despite everything, Eunha felt calm and strangely a bit happy. It’s like the heavy cloud that has been following her around melted away when she’s with Sowon.

--

Eunha got slightly sick the next day. Sowon, in the other hand, got a really high fever. Umji has informed her about it when Eunha opened her door, expecting Sowon but Umji’s the one showed up.

“Sowon-unnie is sick, Eunha-unnie. I don’t think she could make it to the uni today,” Umji sighed, “That unnie, really. Why is she even playing under the rain like that? She should have known better.”

“Umji, in that case, I-“ Eunha started to say.

“No can do, Eunha-unnie. Sowon-unnie has specifically asked me to make sure that you’ll go to class today. You have an important quiz today, haven’t you? You can’t skip class today,” Umji cut Eunha’s words.

“How do you know what I am about to say?”

“I just know~ let’s go to school already, Eunha-unnie,” Umji replied.

“Ah, kids these days…” Eunha grumbled.

Still she can’t help but feel worry for Sowon. She made a mental note to visit Sowon as soon as her class ended.

--

On her way home, Eunha caught a sight of Yerin. Eunha looked around, expecting to see Yerin’s other half. She found no one. Her legs brought her to Yerin. Eunha noticed some traced of tears on Yerin’s cheek.

“Why are you crying, Yerin-unnie?” Eunha asked. She took a seat beside Yerin.

Yerin was startled by Eunha sudden appearance. “Whoa, don’t surprise me like that, princess.” Yerin wiped her tears away.

For some reason, Eunha’s heart was stung by the words Yerin used to call her. Long time ago, Yerin always call her that, when they used to date. Eunha shook her head. “You shouldn’t call other girl that, Yerin-unnie. What if your girlfriend hears it?”

“But, Eunha, you are my girlfriend. I could call you that~” Yerin said.

“Am I really, Yerin-unnie?”

Yerin nodded. “You are my girlfriend, Eunha.”

“But, you don’t love me, do you Yerin-unnie? At least not anymore,” Eunha said, “Actually, have you ever really in love with me?”

Yerin looked at Eunha seriously. “I confessed to you, didn’t I? My feeling toward you was real, Eunha. I loved you a lot.”

Loved. As in not anymore. Why did it still hurt even when I already know? Eunha felt like crying.

“But, you don’t love me anymore…”

Yerin looked at Eunha sadly. “That wasn’t entirely the truth, Eunha.”

“What do you mean, unnie?” is it possible for you to still have ay sort of feeling toward me-

“Am I actually the one that you want to be with, Eunha?” Yerin asked.

“What are you talking about? Of course you are! I love you, Yerin-unnie… I—how could I not want to be with the one I love? That’s just bizarre…”

Yerin still looked at Eunha sadly. “You don’t get it, Eunha.” Yerin looked at her hand. For a moment, she looked so frail before she looked at Eunha with so much determination. Yerin closed the gap between them. “Your heart, does it beat hard when I am this close? When I hold your hand, do you feel any jolt of electricity run throughout your body? When you need to be comforted, is it my name you are calling? When you feel happy, is it me you wanted to share it with? When you eat, do you think of me?

“When you are going to sleep, the one whom you meet in your dream, is it me? Could you even answer all of that confidently that it’s me, Eunha? Be honest, Eunha. My name isn’t the first one that you will instinctively call whenever something happened, aren’t I?”

Eunha was too stunned to be able to articulate any answer. How-why-of course I think of her-

Yerin patted Eunha’s head. “Let’s break up, Eunha. My adorable princess. The one your heart is calling isn’t me. Never me. Once, maybe you used to like me. But, like and love is different.”

Eunha felt tears were starting to well up.

“Don’t cry, princess. I am sorry but really-“

“Are you making it all my fault when you are actually just in love with anyone else all along?”

Yerin looked a bit offended. She let out a long sighed. She looked so defeated that Eunha felt slightly guilty for saying such things to her. “Eunha, your heart, I can’t see it. When we’re together, it’s like we’re miles apart. That sometimes, I wondered if I ever been there, inside your heart? Inside your mind, am I even there?” Yerin sighed again. “I loved you once, Eunha. Right now, right now I am in love with someone else. I—she—I just love her. And she wears her heart in her sleeve. I could see me inside her mind. I could feel that I am residing inside her heart. I am—just—princess, I am sorry-“

“Don’t call me princess anymore! Please just don’t! It’s too painful.”

Yerin looked like she wanted to pull Eunha into a hug, yet she stopped herself. “I am sorry, just—goodbye. I am-“ Yerin heaved another sigh. “Sorry. I will leave now…”

--

When Yerin was out of sight, Eunha let the tears out. She cried and cried. Everything she had felt ever since she felt that Yerin and her were drifting apart, to the point of finally breaking up with her, she let it all out. Eunha cried. And cried. She cried for her lost relationship, for being the reason of Yerin’s sad expressions. But, mostly she cried for her crushed heart.

--

Eunha cried until her eyes were red and puffy. She cried until her nose runny. Her head was throbbing from crying too much. And Eunha just felt terrible. And it’s too hot. Eunha looked down to her lap. She covered her face with both of her hands. Somehow, Sowon’s face flashed in her head. She remembered that Sowon’s sick.

I want to see her. But, I better wash my face first. Unnie is going to be worried if she saw my face like this.

Eunha was about to stand up when she felt something was shielding her from the sun. Eunha looked up to find Sowon has been holding an umbrella over her head.

“Are you okay, Eunha?” Sowon asked.  Clothes so thick, Sowon might as well wear a blanket. Face half covered by a mask. Eyes slightly red. It’s completed with a hoarse voice. Sowon looked sick. And Eunha felt even more terrible than before.

“Why are you here, unnie?” Eunha stood up from the bench. “Shouldn’t you rest?” Eunha asked worriedly, “Why are you bringing an umbrella?”

“I am picking you up,” Sowon replied, “Because rain keep on falling.”

Eunha looked at the clear blue sky. No sign of any dark cloud there. “But, it is so bright and the sky is really blue. It’s not raining though?”

Sowon’s eyes crinkled, showing Eunha that she’s smiling even if her smiled couldn’t be seen due to the mask she’s been worn. “Should we go home, Eunha?” Sowon offered her hand to Eunha.

Eunha was still confused, but, she nodded her head. She took Sowon’s outstretched hand. She will just add it to another one of Sowon’s mysteries. Sometimes, Sowon said and did things that will confuse her like right now. It’s clearly sunny yet she said that rain is falling. Eunha is sure that she won’t get any answer out of Sowon though so she kept it to herself.

--

Sowon was clasping her hand tightly. Eunha looked at how small her hand is, until it could be fully enveloped by Sowon’s hand. Sowon’s fingers are pretty just like how Sowon herself is really beautiful. And then Eunha slapped herself. Because, where is that silly thought coming from? Not like Sowon being beautiful is silly but her suddenly thinking like that is silly.

What am I even doing talking to myself like this??

“Say Eunha, are you okay?” Sowon’s voice stopped Eunha’s mind from rambling.

“Huh? Oh, yeah… I am okay, unnie.” Eunha tried to focus on what Sowon said.

“Ah, really? Well, if you say so,” Sowon said, “Want to eat some candy?”

“Huh?”

Sowon stopped walking. She put the umbrella down and took out a small box of candy. Wordlessly, she put the candy on Eunha’s hand. “Candy is sweet, it’s good for us. It could make our happiness level go up,” Sowon explained, “Take it.”

Eunha opened the small box, it’s filled with lots of assorted candies. It almost looked like Sowon was cramming and taking a lot of different candies inside it. Eunha briefly wondered how many packs of candy that Sowon’d destroyed to filled the small box. What kind of thought running on Sowon’s mind when she picked the candies for her.

So, Eunha ate the candy. She smiled. “It’s really really good, unnie! Thank you.”

“Ah, there it is. I wondered where it has been hiding,” Sowon said.

“Huh? What has?” Eunha asked.

“Your smile.” Sowon slightly touched Eunha’s face.

And Eunha’s heart was stopping its beat for a moment. Because Sowon’s voice was filled with so much relief. And because of how gentle Sowon’s eyes was.

“You are—unnie,” Eunha felt tears were starting to well up again.

“Why are you crying?” Sowon produced a handkerchief to wipe Eunha’s tears away. Eunha just continued to weep. She almost choked on her candy because of it. Sowon pat her back rather harshly so that she could throw the candy out of her respiratory.

Then she continued to weep.

“Okay, blow your nose here,” Sowon said. Producing another handkerchief for Eunha.

Why is she being like this, even my girl—no, my ex-never did anything like that.

Sowon processed to pull Eunha into a tight hug.  She continuously pat Eunha’s back comfortingly until Eunha finally able to stop crying.

“Feeling better?” Sowon wiped Eunha’s sweat and tears away. “I have some water, drink it first, okay?” Sowon pulled a bottle of water from her pocket. She unsealed the cup first before she gave it to Eunha who drank it gratefully. Occasionally she still sobbed.

When she came to her senses, Eunha groaned. She covered her face with both hands. She squatted down in front of Sowon, still hiding her face.

“Hm?” Sowon asked, also crouching down in front of Eunha.

“It’s really embarrassing, crying like a baby,” Eunha groaned.

“You are a baby though, my baby,” Sowon said nonchalantly.

Eunha looked up from her hands so fast hearing that. “What-what-?”

“Nn?”

“What’d you just say, unnie? I thought you just call me a baby??”

Sowon nodded. “You are my baby, Eunha.” Sowon patted Eunha’s head. “Along with Umji, both of you are my baby.”

“What-i-am not a kid, unnie!” Eunha pouted.

Sowon laughed, “Being my baby isn’t that bad, Eunha. I think.” Sowon stood up, she pulled Eunha along with her.

Sowon took her umbrella again, and she offered her hand for Eunha once again. “Let’s go home?”

Eunha still pouted yet she accepted Sowon’s outstretched hand.

--

On their way home, Eunha spotted a hair salon. She toyed with her hair. “Unnie, I want to cut my hair.”

“Hm?” Sowon also looked at the hair salon.

“You know, Yerin-unnie—we’re breaking up for good. As in the words break up finally come out of .”

“Hm…”

“I want to forget her. I need to forget her. Cutting my hair sounds like a good start.”

“Forgetting her? Are you sure about that, Eunha?”

“I… yeah. It hurts, unnie. I want to forget everything about her…”

“That will be impossible to do, Eunha. Don’t you have a lot of happy moment with her as well? That wouldn’t be easy to forget, I believe.”

“Then what should I even do?” Eunha asked, “It hurts, unnie. I love her. Yet, she’s in love with someone else. You don’t know how it feels…“

And Sowon pulled her into a hug. “I know how you feel, Eunha.”

Eunha wanted to shout that it’s just a lip service from Sowon. Yet. Yet, Sowon’s voiced was filled with so much pain. And then Eunha felt anger started to bubble up inside her. Because if Sowon knew how she felt, didn’t it mean that someone has been hurting Sowon?

“What do you mean with that, unnie? Did anyone hurt you? Tell me who is it, unnie! I’ll give them a piece of my mind—“

And then Sowon laughed. Eunha wanted to ask about Sowon’s heartache but-

“It’s okay. Right now, it’s okay, Eunha. As time passed our wounds will heal. Eventually you will find someone else who will love you and only you… don’t worry.” Sowon caressed Eunha’s hair. “If you want to cut it, well, I think you will still look beautiful.”

Eunha looked down at her feet to hide her reddened cheek at the unexpected compliment.

And then rain was falling.

--

She approached the lone occupant of the living room, a girl staring blankly at the wall. She looked at the amount of empty bottle of soju surrounding the living room table, she let out a heavy sigh. Her heart filled with sorrow seeing how haunted the lone girl’s eyes were being. She cleaned the empty bottles away.

“You got drunk again.”

“I did.”

“Did losing your sanity for a few moments bring her back?”

“It didn’t.”

“Then why—why are you keeping on doing it?”

“I— just for a moment, just for a moment, I want to see her again. I want to hear her voice again. If I drink enough of this—maybe I could…“

“But, it didn’t work?”

“Yes, it didn’t work,” she laughed bitterly, “I am always a good drunk, aren’t I? No matter how much I drink I can’t see her, I can’t hear her, I can’t touch her anymore….”

--

A/N : 2nd chapter~~ please enjoy and thank you for reading and commenting~ :D