CURSING AHEAD

Sitting in my car starring at the motel in disgust in front of me. Not some 5 star motel\hotel for sure. I feel sorry for myself.. I'm suppose to be a strong women, i need to be. I have a strong will though, I'm not afraid to say what is on my mind, i don't back down. 

I personally find awkward situations funny, I don't know why but i guess that’s just me. 

There’s a first for everything.

walking up to the reception i look at the stains on the wall trying to not look the mold next to it.

The receptionist gave me a y look and handed me the keys. 

Dragging myself towards the room with one of the bags i packed.

Opening the door to my room i walked in and checked it out. feeling more sorry for myself, feeling pathetic too. I thought for some reason that $60 would get a decent room but nope i totally thought wrong. 

Dropping my bag down i sat on the bed and looked around the room, theres a couch, tv and a fridge. I guess it’s not that bad. Opening my bag i brought it had my passport, snacks, purse and clothes and a few valuables. I grabbed the container that had fruits i prepared before out and ate a slice of apple. Thinking about the future..

*what should i do*

I have about $5000 saved up, a growing belly and no idea what to do with my life.

The perfect life i planned just went down the drain.

It’s a scary thought to think about what i should do next with my life, especially in this situation. 

I need to keep moving, i know that for sure. One night here and then continue to drive to get away from this place as far as possible. I don't need that in my life anymore. 

Getting ready for bed i started to regret not bringing my own sheets. Climbing into to bed that smelt a bit off i knew this was going to be my life from now on.. i have no rights to complain.

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I’m back on the road again, still heading as far as i can get from that hometown of mine. I’m enjoying these long rides, allows me to think and be by myself. Heading to another shifty motel as it was getting dark, i like driving but not in the dark, it gives me the shivers. I got a room and fell asleep as soon as i got in bed, the next day was going to be tiring, i need to apply for anywhere and everywhere i can. I don’t have the rights to be picky in my circumstances.