This isn't easy to say.

It's horrible, it's horrible, terrible, an' I can' hardly speak right now but I need to talk an-and I don' have anyone else to talk to right now an' oh God...

Okay, okay, I'm calmer now.

Someone came to the farm today. I'd gotten used to being there, but someone in a black suit came and said he needed to speak to me.

Kim Taehyung is dead, he told me.

Tae is gone.

It doesn't feel real, it can't be real - how can Taehyung just be dead? He was so full of life, how can that be gone? I don't understand. I don't understand how or why he's gone. I just always thought that after the fever left, together we'd scavenge through the city and her scars; and when the day would end, bar the door against the demons and the dark.

What happened? What's the meaning here?

The man told me I needed to go with him.  Which is why am I where I am. I think I'm leaving. Why couldn't I have left just a few days earlier?

I miss my family. 

would you stay with me (xxiii)