Dear BTS,

I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

I want to say it's the drugs, I want to say it's not me, but I would be trying to put the blame on something or someone other than me.

But it's all me. Everything.

I can't stop making mistakes - it started with that ceremony, didn't it?

When we got back to the hotel that night, I immediately took that damn piece of machinery - that panic button, as it was so aptly called - out of my bag and just stared at it. I should have gotten a hammer and smashed the thing. I should have broken it and none of this would have ever happened.

But I panicked and pressed it.

I often wonder if I was the last of the three, if I was the deciding factor in all of this.

If I was, does that make me more guilty than the rest?

Does it make this my crime?

How do you define the difference between fate and a sin?

I'm so sorry. I can't do this anymore. I won't ever be able to see you again, so really, what am I doing this for?

I just... just tell me, if you thought the war was over and everything made right... Would you still believe in us, or would your love for me grow colder with no one left to fight?

Seokjin, thank you for always being there for all of us.

Yoongi, thank you for being the strongest of us.

Hoseok, thank you for being a light for all of us and for everyone that know