may 6th, 2013

                         7:00 pm

dear stupid diary

i honestly can’t believe i got you for a birthday gift???  i’m so ing excited !! get this - i’m so excited i want to rip you to ing shreds and make paper mache out of you or some other stupid . although now that i think of it, that would be too much effort wasted on you, heh.

but honestly, i got humiliated today in front of everyone because of you. and i couldn’t even do anything about it, cause mom was all there like, “i got this for you baek, you seem so down lately and i think it will be a good outlet for your thoughts.” and i just . . . froze.

seriously what the ? i mean i understand that she cares, and heck, i see those “secretive” gazes ( she thinks i don’t see them but i notice everything) during breakfast. she is worried. but to say it out there with everyone watching? is hella embarrassing. i already get laughed at in school cause i’m a ing midget, and now she adds insult to injury by implying i’m what? depressed?

i’m not depressed. i’m just really sad that dad’s stuck in the hospital while we’re here, without him. nothing’s the same anymore, and everything feels so forced. i can tell mom is trying really hard to keep up with appearances, but i think she’s starting