Click. Eunha-unnie turned off the lights.

I opened my eyes, staring into complete darkness. The room was quiet. I could hear Yuju-unnie's breathing sound, Umji's slight grinding noise, and the creak of the ladder under Eunha-unnie's feet. The sound of my heartbeat was loud in my ear. Noisy.

My mind drifted to the camera that I always looked at, and the faces behind it. In these two years, I have seen new faces appear and old faces disappear. This was nothing new. Totally normal. As the person captured by cameras, you just act like nothing happened and move on.

But this was different. This was not expected. But again, this kind of stuff was always unexpected, right? But still, something was different this time.

They were here since almost the very beginning, and I saw those fancams they took during year-end stages. They were still here a couple of days ago. But whoosh, they were gone.

Two years. I have been habitually finding those familiar faces in crowds in the past two years. I smiled, and they smiled back. I pouted, and they laughed. I spoke to them, and they made videos out of them.

They showed me that someone liked me. My singing, my dance, my performance, my expressions...ah yes...the expressions. They told me that I don't have to always smile in front of cameras. I could pout and make all kinds of expressions, and they still accepted me. They were some of the people who made SinB not only SinB, but also Hwang Eunbi.

But maybe that wasn't enough? So they left?

They were part of the force that pushed me here, they spoiled me with the overflowing love they showed. How could they just leave without a word?

Oh no. That's crossing the line. Of course they could. One don't even have to love one and only one in his or her life, why couldn't one like an 'idol' then change his or her mind? I was thinking nonsense.

But I thought we were like friends. Could friends just leave without telling why?

Oh SinB, you are thinking on the wrong track. They were viewers who enjoyed some of my performance. That's all, and that's it.

But why all of a sudden? Did I do something wrong? Eunbi-yah, did you show yourself too much?

Maybe I didn't smile enough? Did I show less passion in my performance? Or what?

Oh wait. I shouldn't be like that. Maybe they just left because something was going on... But they won't have to close everything and remove everything, right? Oh, and no. I didn't want something bad to have happened. They better be doing fine.

Admit it Eunbi, it could only be you. You are lacking. Like what Sowon-unnie once said, there's a problem with my charming point. I just wasn't a charming fairy. Remember that fancam of Be Mine? I wasn't doing enough...my expressions were not good enough. Maybe I was losing it.

Damn. My head was aching. I really needed some sleep. I could shut my eyes tight, but I couldn't put my brain to rest.

I plugged on my earphone, and put J. Rabbit's 'Nowadays, you are' on the loop.

Let's call it a day. Everything will be alright when I wake up... right?

*Author's message*

This chapter is named 'Mad', for the word's meanings of 'angry' and 'crazy'. Supposedly, SinB is getting mixed feelings at this point (though I couldn't portray that clearly coz I don't write that well). She is angry, hopefully you could see that, due to a sense of betrayal (this is a too-strong word, but I don't know how I should put it). Also, she is angry at herself. She is also disappointed and sad, and she is feeling a strong sense of guilt. Something like that :p