I handed the driver some money and stepped out of the cab. I grabbed our luggage and placed it on the sidewalk.  I looked at our apartment complex. It looked pretty decent even though it was very cheap.

“Well this is it honey.”

Sarah and I walked into the building and stepped into the elevator. I pressed on the button which would bring us to the tenth floor. The elevator arrived at our floor so we stepped out and opened the door to our new home. It was very small and minimalistic but it was enough for the two of us. It came with a table, two chairs, a kitchen, a bathroom and a couch which you could turn in to a bed. The walls were in a depressing shade of grey. In the basement of the building were washing machines and dryers so we didn’t have to purchase those.

“This is it Sarah. This is our new home.” “I like it!” Sarah said as she jumped on the couch.

I opened one of the windows. I stuck my head out and looked down. It’s not healthy how bad I just want to jump. It’s like there’s a voice in my head telling me to do it. It would be so much easier. Sometimes death seems better than living. Most of the times actually. But I won’t jump. I can’t do that to Sarah. I just have to be strong and pretend that everything is fine.

I walked to the kitchen and cooked the instant noodles that I brought with me for dinner. As Sarah and I started eating I told her that school is starting tomorrow. “I know that we only arrived here today but we can’t miss another day of school.” She nodded and headed to bed as soon as we finished. I decided to write in my diary again.

Jane’s diary:

So we arrived today, I’m glad we made it. I had another nightmare. It’s honestly so hard to suppress my depressing thoughts.

If Sarah didn’t exist I wouldn’t be here, South-Korea. I’m doing this to give her a second chance at life. I’m too broken to be glued together but Sarah isn’t like me. She is so strong! She’s always happy and positive about things. I feel so weak. That monster picked me up and threw me into depression and I let him do it.(wow I’m writing like a poet but it’s true) I didn’t stop him. And here I am thinking he will change, that he will stop drinking, that he will be a good father again. I’m an idiot, so stupid. I don’t want to forgive him, even when he promises to change. I don’t want to believe him when he’ll say sorry. I don’t want to give him my love but I know that my walls will break down when I’ll see him again. I know I will forgive him and give him another chance. I know my love for him will only grow once he says he’ll “change” and I hate myself for that. My heart is to weak, that’s why I’m doing my best to close it off. Make sure it’s out of reach for anyone who’s trying to break it.

School will begin tomorrow. I’m not afraid of judgment to be honest, even if I still have a busted lip. I can cover up the bruise around my eye but everyone will see my lip. I don’t care. I’m not there to make friends or be popular. I don’t care if I’ll be seen as the “weirdo”. I’m doing this for Sarah. I do everything for Sarah, she is my lifeline. Without her I would be dead already. Literally.

If I have an education I can get a good job and take care of her better. I will be able to give her new clothes instead of my old patched clothes.  I wonder how Jungkook is doing, what he is thinking. I changed my  number so I wouldn’t be able to pick up his calls. I missed one day of school. Usually he would call me when I’m absent to ask if I’m okay. He probably already knows that I changed my  number but he will get the letter tomorrow. I hope he understands my decision. Well I have to sleep now. I am so tired but I’m terrified to close my eyes. Great combination.

End of Jane’s diary

I was woken by a ringing noise. I turned off my alarm clock. I sat up and looked around me. Where am I? Oh wait.. I almost forgot we moved. My back ached from the poor quality of the sofa sleeper. (apparently that’s how you call those couches that change into beds)

I gently shook Sarah and she woke up too. “Good morning sunshine, are you ready for school?” She nodded and tiredly rubbed her eyes. I chuckled at how cute she looked. “Everyone is going to love you Sarah. I just know it.” She smiled and said “I hope so! Let’s eat Janie I want to go to school!” “Okay why don’t you wash yourself and then I will make some sandwiches.”

I made her breakfast and lunch and put her lunchbox in her backpack. I also put some simple Korean books in so she could learn faster. After doing that, I packed my own bag. I don’t need to bring lunch because we have a cafeteria in my new school. Sarah came running in “Janie! I’m ready let’s eat fast, I want to go!” I laughed “Okay, just be careful that you don’t choke.” She nodded while taking a bite of her sandwich. After we finished I quickly got ready and did my morning routine. I covered up my bruise and put on a warm outfit. I helped Sarah with putting on her coat and gave her my earmuffs. I then put on my own coat and we headed out.

I held her hand as we were walking to school. She started singing songs and I sang along with her. I noticed a group of boys were walking behind me but like I said: I don’t care what people think of me anymore. We arrived at her school and I walked inside with her to make sure everything was good. I had a short talk with her principal and left to go to my own school. I hugged Sarah goodbye and kissed the top of her head. “Good luck Sarah, be nice to the other children.” “Yes Janie!”

I started walking to my own school and saw other students people stared at me. I don’t blame them. I’m a foreigner so I obviously look different. I walked in the school and ignored the looks. I went to the principal’s office, greeted him and sat down in front of him. “Hello Jane nice to meet you! Welcome in our school. I hope you will have a fun but educational time here.”

Have fun? No.

I smiled at him.

“If you have any problems you can talk with me about them.”

You’ll never know my problems.

I nodded.

He then gave me my schedule and took me to my first class. I was a little late but it was okay since I was talking to the principal.

The principal explained the situation to my teacher. She was a beautiful woman who couldn’t be older than 24. She was very kind and told me to introduce myself once the principal left.

I looked at the students, I saw 4 girls talking with each other and giggling. They must be the “popular” girls. I then saw a group of 6 guys talking with each other, they are probably the “popular” boys since they are quite handsome. The rest of the class looked pretty basic, not very mean or cocky.

Everyone turned to look at me when my teacher cleared . “Class we have a new student. I hope you will welcome her warmly and be respectful towards her.” She looked at me so I introduced myself. “Hello everyone, my name is Jane. I will be in your class from now on.” “Okay jane you can sit next to Hoseok in the back.” I looked in the back and saw a guy put his hand in the air with an irritatingly happy smile. Great, she put me with the popular guys. i wasn't very happy with it. I could feel those girls glaring at my back as I walked over to this Hos-something guy. I sat down not even bothering to say hi to any of the guys.

“Uhm it’s Jane right?” I looked at him and the other 5 guys turned around as well. “Yup.” He looked kind of concerned when he asked: “What happened to your lip? Did you get in a fight or something?”

Author's note: Chapter 4 is here and BTS comes in the picture! Leave a comment if you like and I hope you enjoyed reading!