*SHK's POV*

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I love him, I actually love him! The realization dawns on me suddenly and I sit up from my bed, too stunned by what just hit me. I love him, I’m in love with Song Joong Ki!

I start to pace around the room, contemplating whether I’m really sure or just confused. But how? How did it happen? When did it start? And why? Most importantly, why??

Because he makes you feel safe.

Of course, he’s supposed to make me feel that. He’s my bodyguard after all.

He takes care of you well.

Well, he’s a nice guy after all. He does that to everyone.

He makes you smile and laugh (hard).

Well, who wouldn’t? He throws the corniest jokes.

He makes your heart flutter.

I may have just made that up in my mind, didn’t I?

With him, you don’t have to pretend.

Err…

Argh! This is crazy, you’re crazy Hye Kyo! But no doubt, despite how crazy you think this is, you’re sure. You’re absolutely sure that you’re starting to feel something for him. Aigoo! What is this? What is happening to you?!

I continue pacing back and forth, unable to calm myself down. How could I? When I couldn’t understand what’s really happening?

 Maybe it’s true what they say, you can’t fully understand, you wouldn’t know the reason why you’re in love. You just know that somehow, things have changed and you no longer look at that person the same way as before. That you suddenly see him in a different light.

He has turned into the first person you think about whenever you wake up. It’s always his face you seek though in a room full of people. Your mood suddenly shifts depending on whether you’d see him or not. And when you don’t, you suddenly wonder where he is or what he’s doing. All those stuff and more.

Aish jinjja. This is crazy. Crazy, crazy, crazy. He’s not even minding you these days and you tell yourself you’re in love with him? Are you even aware of how crazy that sounds, Hye Kyo? And you do realize that you’ve been saying the word ‘crazy’ for a couple of times now, right? Arrggh! This is so frustrating! I’m going to sleep!

I hurl myself on the bed, trying so hard to mute my thoughts, which have been bugging me for days.

But I can’t sleep.

Even when I close my eyes, it’s his face that I see. Smiling at me.

What sorcery is this?! What spell are you in?!

This is all so annoying. I can’t sleep calmly with all these thoughts swirling in my head while he’s out there somewhere doing whatever it is that he’s doing and ignoring me. Wait, why is he even ignoring me? It’s not like I did anything wrong. In fact, I don’t think I ever did something wrong from the moment we got back.

One moment he’s friendly, then he’s cold. What does he think of me? His shock absorber or something???!

I get back on my feet and resume pacing. What to do? What to feel? My thoughts are so jumbled that I can’t even think straight.

What did I ever do to deserve this? I was just being my old self, content (somewhat) with my life and there he goes wooing me. And now that I don’t dislike him, he’s ignoring me??!

This can’t go on! I shouldn’t let this on for too long.

Okay, here’s the plan. I should confront him. Who does he think he is confusing me and my feelings? Who does he think….

I’m still ranting mentally, prepared to lash my anger at him when someone knocks on the door and in comes Joong Ki. All guts to confront him go flying out my window.

“Good evening, Miss. I’m sorry to disturb you, I’ll just do my rounds,” he says

What is he doing here? He doesn’t normally do the rounds. In fact, didn’t he make it his mission to avoid as much as possible lately? I think to myself as I try calm my heart which is now beating wildly.

“Whatever,” I say, trying to sound nonchalant but deep inside I’m panicking. Not knowing what else to do, I enter the bathroom to hide.

Aigoo aigoo. What to do now? I immediately think the moment I close the door.

I thought you were going to confront him?

What? Like now?! Shiro! I don’t want to.

If not now, then when? Are you planning to prolong your agony?

I’m not, but, should it really be now?

What? Are you scared now? Isn’t the First Daughter not scared of anything?

I’m not… I’m just trying to think things carefully.

But you can’t even think coherently.

So are you going to do it now?

I don’t know. Wait, why am I hiding here?

Because you’re scared. And why are you stalling?

I am not! Afraid and Stalling, I mean.

Then, what are you doing?

I’m…. okay! Fine! I’m scared! Happy now?

Not yet. Unless you conf