It had been a week since Jessica received the threat from Jaejoong and it caused her to lose her sleep. Taeyeon was just being Taeyeon, the calm and very patient Taeyeon. She knew, if their relationship went on like this, it would be much much better for them to break up. This one week had made her realised that she could not just let Taeyeon carried all the burden and the pain. Moreover, she should also think about Jaejoong. What should she do with the threat? She did not tell Taeyeon yet because she just did not want to burden the older girl again. Sighing, she finally made her decision.

She's going to break up with the older girl.

"Hi, Sica," Taeyeon hugged the younger girl before kissing her cheek. "Why-"

"Let's break up," Jessica stared straight at the car opposite of Taeyeon's. She was sure a few minutes had passed and still, Taeyeon said nothing and just stared at her. Slowly, she turned her head towards the older girl and a tear escaped from her fan's right eye.

"W-why?" Taeyeon erased the tear with her hand."W-we can talk about this, Sica. I-"

"I'm done with you. It was great while it lasts," Jessica smiled half-heartedly and directly went out of the car. Truth was, she was about to cry too. If Taeyeon saw her cry, the older girl would get concerned instead so she would not want it. She wanted her fan to hate her, completely. So the older girl could move on much easier. Taeyeon had been nothing but a perfection. Her parents loved her, her members loved her, even her sister. Krystal only supported her relationship with Taeyeon and she was aware of it. Everything would be better for Taeyeon, she thought.

Taeyeon zoned out before she laughed like a maniac. She saw her ex walking away from her car and before she realised it, tears streamed down her face. She wanted to chase the girl but she was too tired. She was done chasing her.

She punched her dashboard repeatedly until she felt like she could not do it anymore. She smiled when she stopped. At least the physical pain could cover all her beart pain, for now. 

As soon as she reached her house, she called her dad. "Dad, about the offer you told me yesterday, I'll take it,"

"Are you sure, Taeyeon-ah? What about Jes-"

"We broke up. I'll take the earliest flight tomorrow. I'll tell Sunny after this. Goodnight dad,"

"Ok, goodnight Taeyeon," he ended the call with a sigh. She knew her dad did not ask questions because he was aware of how disastrous the relationship was.

When she was about to cry again, she swang her fist against the wall. However, it just made her cry harder. Her left hand covered the other hand before her fingers grazed them slowly. She hissed at the pain she was feeling but she smled again. At least, just like few hours ago, the emotional pain could not be felt. She walked to her freezer to get a pack of ice and put it on top her right hand. Her knuckles were so swollen and marks could be seen. She frowned. How could she hide it from Sunny and her dad and Hayeon too? She sighed. She just hoped tomorrow would not be too bad.

Jessica stared at her phone. No message or calls from Taeyeon. She sighed and a tear escaped her eye. It was not like she did not like the fan, it was the opposite. She felt like she did not deserve such person. A vibration from her phone shocked her. However, she frowned when she saw her phone screen. It was a text from Jaejoong.

Glad that you finally broke up with her, Jessie

I'll pick you up tomorrow

What time will you be free?

I expect a reply, I'll give you 10 minutes

Before I send the pictures to Dispatch

She clenched her jaw and cried. What did she do to deserve such a creep? It was probably due to her own greed. She thought she could achieve any dream. She did not think that to achieve her dream, she would hurt Taeyeon too. She sighed. She was the one who ended the relationship, then why did she feel so hurt?

She replied Jaejoong's text before she pressed the gallery on her phone. She stared at a picture. It was a selfie that Taeyeon took a day after they got together. Taeyeon was grinning like a small kid and seeing this picture, she smiled too. She had damaged the girl's heart, she knew. But at least, now the girl could be free. She just hoped tomorrow would be better.

Jaejoong was still as touchy as he was last week but at least he took her to a real reataurant instead of a hotel for their dinner. If last week didn't happen, Jessica wohld have been more than glad to know him. Today, he was normal, charming like what she had thought befote the hotel incident. Maybe he has a split personality, she thought. But all she could think of was Taeyeon. It felt weird for her that nobody would ever wait for her again in her house or simply be there to protect her all the time. As much as she didn't want to admit, she knew, she missed the older girl. 

"Are you ok?" He asked the idol.

"Hmm? Yeah, I'm fine," she faked a smile. Her body tensed when she noticed his hand was reaching her face.

"Then why are you crying?" He erased the tear with his thumb gently.

"M-my head hurts, I don't know why," she said, hoping the guy would buy the lie. "Do you mind driving me home now?" Her questioned was answered by nothing for few seconds before he suddenly smiled.

"Ok, let's go," he said. Jessica was actually scared by the way he had smiled and she just hoped that he would really drive her home. Taeyeon crossed her mind again.

If all the fights didn't happen. If she stopped being a to the fan. If she didn't took the fan for granted. Where could they be now?

She cried again silently in Jaejoong's car. The guy didn't realise it because the idol had turned her head to the right, towards the window. She remembered all the laughters and the smiles before the fight. She remembered the gentle touch and loving gaze from the fan. She remembered how Taeyeon would treat her like a princess. How come she was so foolish to pick fights with the older girl?

The idol woke up the next day only to find her phone bombarded by texts and miss-calls from her members, sister, parents, manager but still, no Taeyeon. She groaned. She started reading the ones from her manager then the ones from her parents, her sister and finally her members. Why is everyone demanding an explanation, she thought. She searched up her name in Google, just like what her manager had told her to. There were articles about her and Jaejoong. The pictures were from yesterday's dinner. Her manager told her to meet her publicist and SM president at the SM building as soon as possible.

As she arrived, she jogged towards the meeting room and knocked softly. All those important people were already expecting her. It turned out that Jaejoong had told the media that they would see how things go but he wanted her fans to support their friendship. So far, majority of her fans supported the friendship which was a good thing. However, she wondered what would Taeyeon think when she saw this. SM ended up releasing a statement saying that both of them had known each other for a while and had decided to keep in touch. It crossed her mind again; what would Taeyeon think?

In New York, at the Kim's mansion, someone was seen staring at her phone with tears trickled down her face. She was not sure whether it was her stupidity or what that made her like this. Jessica was the only reason she could cry again after her mother's death and it intrigued her. Now she knew why it was called falling in love. When you fall, of course you'd get hurt. Now she knew. But enough is enough. She's done with wasting all her tears for the idol. She'd just focus on herself. That night, she made a promise to herself; never would she let anyone else enter her heart.

One year after all the mess, after Taeyeon was known by the public, everything seemed to be going well. Seemed. The heiress only wanted to work, work and work. Drowning herself in her job felt like the best thing to do because it stopped her from thinking; thinking about Jessica. First love dies hard, she scoffed when she thought of it.

On the other hand, the idol managed to spend lesser and lesser time with Jaejoong with the help of her members and of course, family. She told them everything including how she pushed Taeyeon away. At first, some of her members and even her sister was upset at what she did but seeing the idol's state? They knew that she had regretted it. She tried to reach out for Taeyeon again but she failed. At first, her calls and messages were ignored. However, days after, someone called back but it wasn't Taeyeon. She figured that Taeyeon changed her number. Little did she knew, it was actually Hayeon who called her. The fan asked her sister a favour. She hoped Jessica would stop haunting her.

Feeling helpless, Jessica did a thing that she thought she would never do. She would reach out for her through her songs. She'd sing a song for her, she would call out for her name. She just hope that gods were on her side, just this once. She needed luck to get her Taeyeon back. So during Girls' Generation concert, she went on a solo stage. The management didn't know about what she had planned to say, she just explained to them that it would be nice to see the fans' reaction. SM wanted to make her solo debut to happen anyway, thus she took the chance. She didn't care anymore about how would people perceive her. She just wanted her Taeyeon back.

"This song is for someone dear to me," Jessica says as she sits down on a single chair on the stage and the crowd went silent. "This friend- No," she bitterly chuckles. "She's more than a friend," she smiles sadly. She's aware that her eyes started to glisten but she continued, "I was aware of how.. Bad I treated her but still she chose to be on my side. Patiently waiting for me, encouraging me, supporting me.  But in the end, I guess her patience ran out," she scoffed and tears started to trickle down and she covered her face with her palm. One of the staffs or her manager, she could not tell, went to the stage to give her tissue and also blocked her from the camera for a while but she pushed them gently. "I know how perfect our relationship would be if only I didn't try to destroy it. Honestly, all my insecurities were the cause, right?" She looked straight at the camera. "I'm sorry, really," she lowered her gaze to her lap and the music started to play.

I still hear the sound of you

I still feel your hand

Even today, I lived in the traces of you

I still see your figure

I still feel your warmth

Even today, I lived in the time of you

When she sang these phrases, memories of Taeyeon and her flashed through her mind. Taeyeon's laughter, Taeyeon's gentle hold, Taeyeon's charming smile, Taeyeon's hugs. All those memories flooded her mind.

Even withing some stranger's figure passing through the street

Even above the leaves riding the wind with a lonely dance

Even within the air brushing past my cheeks on some evening

In everything I see, hear and feel

You are here

She remembered how she mistaked a teen for Taeyeon that she stopped her car at the side of the street, got out of her car and gave the girl a back hug. Luckily it was at night and she made the girl promised not to spread the news in exchange for a couple of pictures and autographs. She remembered how fast she drove off after the incident and watched autumn leaves falling down on her car windshield during traffic light. She remembered Taeyeon's favorite season was autumn.

Yeah and how are you?

Yeah and how are you?

Even you, are you the same as me?

And how are you?

She wondered about the girl after the break up, when she ignored all the calls and text, everytime she went out with Jaejoong. She wondered, how was Taeyeon. Did Taeyeon ever think of her after the break up? Or maybe, when she heard the news of her and Jaejoong. Was Taeyeon doing fine? She could see her fan from news sometimes, but it wasn't enough. She needed more. How was Taeyeon doing?

Even on the big empty chair left on the side of the street

Even in the glass I thoughtlessly filled to drink water

Even within the mirror I face to look myself 

Even within the music secretly sitting in deeper from the edge of my ear

You are there

She remembered how she flooded her table, zoned out thinking about Taeyeon when she filled a glass of water. She remembered she cried while looking at the mirror because suddenly Taeyeon's smile appeared on her head. She remembered how she shuffled through her playlist but stumbled upon Taeyeon's favorite song. Taeyeon was everywhere.

Now what can I do?

Now what can I do?

You've probably moved on

Us.. what can we do now?

She pondered and pondered. She squeezed out all her brain juice. What could she do? There's a huge chance that Taeyeon had moved on, the fan was one of the most eligible bachelorettes in the world anyway. What could she do about Taeyeon? What could she do about them?

The door of longing opens and the memories of you are coming after me

Again and again, the corner of my eyes go red

The door of longing opens and the memories of you are coming after me

Just again and again, my heart gets broken

She remembered that she had thought she would be able to forget about her fan. Not until she stumbled upon a certain Hermès bag. She remembered crying hard. She remembered how she went to her toilet to grab tissue papers and just one look at the toilet paper, all her walls crumbled down. That moment, she realised that she actually had fallen in love with her fan. It was just that her insecurities pulling her back. 

"I miss you, really," she stared at the camera once again with her teary eyes. "I love you," she whispers and a tear escaped her right eye and the stage went dark.

A/N I know it's been some time. I hope y'all haven't abandoned this story yet..  honestly, I went through writer's block so yeah..

The song I used was Nell's 'Time spent walking through memories'. Taeyeon was the one who actually sang this song on her Butterfly Kiss concert. Some Taengsic shippers would have heard of this song because years ago in a radio show, Jessica told the host (I think) that Taeyeon introduced her to this song. By that, I feel Taeyeon wanted Jess to know that she misses her? I guess? Or it's just a song that Taeyeon really really really like. But then again, she could've chosen many other songs. Thus, in my conclusion, I feel she just wanted to relay the message to Jess. At least that's what I hope.

Next chapter would be the last chapter. 

Thank you for all the subscribers and the comments and the votes!! SARANGHAE!