CHAPTER 03

THE UNEXPECTED HICCUP

Thursday, 14 Jan 2016

Bang Yongguk stares longingly at the back of the girl he once knew and loved. A thousand different memories played in his mind and involuntarily, the feelings he had long buried in his heart surfaced once again. He missed the way she smiled lovingly at him. He missed the warmth of her hands as their fingers curled and perfectly fit one another. He missed the sound of her voice as she called out his name adoringly. He missed the smell of her hair whenever he hugged her close and tight. He missed the look in her eyes after every kisses they shared. He missed everything about her but there is nothing he could do. It was his fault. He was young, and he was stupid. And because of a burning passion and dream, he lost her forever. He lost his Shin Jooeun, the only one he loved and could ever love. His eyes followed her silhoutte until she disappeared into the van and he had to use all the willpower he has in him to not run after the van as it drove past him.

After paying and collecting the foods he had ordered for his team members, Kim Himchan - being one of the friendliest B.A.P members - went over and said his goodbyes to the remaining production crews and idols who were still talking and drinking. As he staggered outside of the restaurant with the bags of foods, he was met with a familiar heartbreaking scene he hasn't seen in quite a while. He watched from behind how his leader had his head down, fists clenched tight, and from the way his broad shoulders was shaking gently, he knew the older guy was crying. And knowing his leader who is also one of his closest friend for the past number of years, he obviously knew the reason why.

Shin Jooeun, the name that's only mentioned when Yongguk was drunk out of his mind. Although Yongguk had never mentioned or talked about this to anyone, everyone who knew him knows that she's the woman behind the song 'What My Heart Tells Me To Do' and many other unproduced songs that are hidden in his song book and iPad. She's also the reason why he had never dated anyone throughout his career. Noone knew what happened between the 2 of them but what they knew is that she's the only reason why he had a slight regret of becoming an idol, and that she was the source of all his songs inspiration, the cause of his tears, and the reasons to his stupid smiles.

Himchan sighed. Taking a deep breath, Himchan walked towards Yongguk and very carefully asked, "Guk-ah, you okay?" 

Surprised at hearing his friend's voice, Yongguk quickly wiped his tears and nodded curtly. Without delaying any longer, Yongguk grabbed one of the bags from Himchan and walked towards his car in silence. Yongguk had always hated having his vulnerable side shown to others, his friends even, and this is no secret to everyone around him. Thus, without questioning any further, Himchan sighed and started walking behind Yongguk.

ATH3NA reached their dorm at approximately 4AM. It's no surprise though, since the recording itself ended late and the after party only started at 2AM. The girls were beyond exhausted. Well, being drained from all the dance practice, rehearsals and recording is one thing, and being extremely pushed to the edge from all the drinking is another. As soon as they staggered inside their shared dormitory with the girls from Team A, Haneul rushed to the toilet - as she felt her bile comes up again - while her 2 members dropped on their super old and disgusting sofa. 

Chuckling in amusement, Manager Jisoo said, "You girls are that exhausted huh? This is just the beginning you know.. You're going to have back to back schedules soon and that will be hundred times more exhausting than what you went through today. How will you cope then?" 

Shaking her head as she sat up, Jooeun said, "No, we are not tired of the practice, rehearsals and recording. Its the drinking and alcohol thats killing us." 

Eunhee nodded her head in agreement and said, "Yes! I've never drank so much before.. I mean, drinking at such a fast pace and keeping up with their requests of one shot and all. And above all that, we have to remain sane and poise at all times. I almost barfed when the director poured me a full glass of soju and asked me to do a love shot with him."

"Hahaha! Well, thats how it will be.. especially for rookie female idols. You girls must learn how to cope with all the request and be open minded. However, do know that there is no such thing as ual favours in YG Entertainment. What happened to Jooeun was really bad but it's not something new. Although we all hope it won't happen again, I'm sorry to say it might not be the last time. So, learn how to differentiate between fun drinking games and interaction from those stupid ual favours. Whatever happens, do tell and consult us managers first. Do you girls understand?" Manager Soohwan said and the 2 girls nodded their heads. 

"And please do help us tell Haneul too. I have a bad feeling she will be targeted most due to her mix family background. Those uncultured directors or producers usually target rookie idols with mix background due to the stupid mindset that these girls are more open minded and free to all these kind of favours," Manager Joonyup said and the 2 girls frowned worriedly as they nodded their heads. 

"Yah, talking about Hauel.. Is she okay? She's been in the toilet for quite a while now.." Manager Jisoo asked worriedly as he looked towards the toilet at the end of the living room. 

"Yeap.. This is perfectly normal. It would be quite a surprise if she didn't rush to the toilet to vomit though," Eunhee answered casually as she began to sit up and leaned her head against Jooeun's shoulder. 

Chuckling at the statement, Manager Soohwan said, "She's that bad of a drinker huh? You girls should practice more.."

'No, thank you' was Eunhee's simple reply but Jooeun had another thing in her mind. Laughing as her mind recalled a hilarious memory of drinking with their managers, Jooeun said, "Nope, Haneul is not a bad drinker. In fact, she's a pretty good one I must say. The only problem is with her chronic gastritis issue that happens at the slightest error. Oppa, however, is the bad drinker. Remember that one time you slept in your own vomit in the toilet after losing a drinking battle with us?"

"YAH SHIN JOOEUN!!" the said manager's only reply as he went beet red while everyone started laughing at the dreadful memory. 

As the laughters died down, Haneul came out of the toilet and was left puzzled at Manager Soohwan's beet red face and the soft chuckles of the rest of the people gathered in their living room. 

"Urh.. What did I miss?" Haneul asked as she plopped down beside Eunhee and snuggled next to her as she then looked at her members and managers.

Jooeun was about to repeat what she said when Manager Soohwan intervened and said, "Nothing important! Anyway, since the 3 of you are already here, we shall run through your schedule for today and then leave you girls to your rest. It's already late and we need you to be in your best condition till the day of your debut."

Nodding their heads, ATH3NA sat up straight and listened as Manager Jisoo took out his iPad and list out their schedules, "As we had already cancelled the Mnet TV show filming for tomorrow, you girls can have your beauty sleep until 10 or 11AM. Director Yang Hyunsuk will be seeing you girls at 1PM and then you girls will be having your dance practice and rehearsals until late night. We need you to practice your live stage performances with your dancers for both debut stage performance songs and so please rest well and drink lots of water. If you need any hangover drink or coffee tomorrow, tell us now and we will bring it for you girls when we pick you girls up tomorrow. Okay?"

As the girls nodded their heads, Eunhee flashed a small grateful smile and said, "Yes, that would be great as that would mean I wouldn't need to wake up early to make them hangover soup. Thank you oppa."

"No problem. So what do you girls want?" Manager Joonyup asked.

"I think we will all need the hangover drinks.. and probably some vitamin drinks too," Eunhee said as she looked at her members who were barely awake as they nodded their heads rather weakly. 

"And ice caramel americano.. I definitely need my coffee to wake up my body system tomorrow," Haneul said and the managers nodded their heads as they took note of the orders. 

"Hmmm.. Do you girls want any breakfast?" Manager Soohwan asked.

"Lunch.. You mean lunch," Jooeun said, grinning annoyingly as she teased her manager once again, and Manager Soohwan rolled his eyes and corrected himself, and Jooeun chuckled weakly and said, "I want Korean bulgogi and rice."

"I don't mind having the same," Eunhee said as she then turned to look at Haneul and said, "Don't you dare say you don't want anything to eat."

Eunhee's remark caught Haneul offguard as that's exactly what she wanted to say. However, knowing her leader all too well that she would get a hard smack on the thigh or head if she really did say so, Haneul said, "I don't want to eat rice. I want some bagels with butter and cream cheese."

"Alright then, we shall make a move now. It's getting so late and we really need you girls to rest. Be ready latest by 11AM okay?" Manager Jisoo said and ATH3NA responded with a chorus of okays as they weakly nodded their heads.

As soon as their managers exited their dorm, the 3 girls got up to bathe. As there are only 1 toilet in their super small and cramp dorm, the 3 girls decided to take a short bath together. In less than half an hour, the girls are all ready in their sleeping attire. While Eunhee and Jooeun is the t-shirt and short kind of girl, Haneul's is slightly more provocative. As she is used to being free and open while living with her mother, Haneul's attire is simply tanktop and . It was really weird and difficult for the members and the other roommates at first but they soon got used to it after years of living together. However, when they were filming Mnet TV Show, Haneul had to change her attire to one which is acceptable to be viewed by everyone of all ages. Thus, due to their back to back 24 hours of filming for the past week, this is the first time Haneul had reverted to sleeping in her comfortable attire. The 3 girls entered their shared bedroom and took their places on the floor next to the other 4 sleeping girls. Haneul cuddled next to Jooeun while the older girl gently brushed her hair with her fingers, something that she would always do to soothe the younger girl to sleep. 

As she felt Haneul drifting off to sleep, Jooeun gently turned around and stared at the ceiling. Her body is so exhausted but her mind and heart is wide awake. Her mind replayed back to the scenario with Bang Yongguk; the way his hand held onto her shoulder and his eyes reflected care and concern as they were locked with hers. Her body unconsciously shuddered at the memory and she was surprised at how she still remembered his touch and the way he looked at her; the recent one and the ones from years ago. 'His eyes were still the same; full of warmth and.. love,' Jooeun unconsciously thought to herself before shooting to a sitting position as she shook her head.

"What the hell am I thinking?" Jooeun whispered to herself, mentally cursing herself at how she was thinking he still probably loved her.

However, she couldn't help it. They were happy, very happy, before he suddenly broke up with her. She knew why, he told her, and she fully understands it. That is also the reason why she couldn't hate him. She could never hate him. But why was she so cold towards him earlier? Anger? Disappointment? She doesn't know. Jooeun's mind recalled the first time he shyly and gently kissed her on her lips when she won her first rapping competition. It was one of the best moments shared between them and was also the inspiration behind the ballad song 'Memory With You' in their debut album. Her mind couldn't stop replaying the memories she shared with him, only to end with his conversation of breaking up with her. Her tears fell and she hated that he still has this affect on her.

Eunhee was about to drift off to dreamland when the sudden movement beside her snapped her back to reality. As her eyes slowly adjust to the darkness surrounding her, she saw the heartbreaking sight of her rapper and friend breaking down in tears. Again. It had been a while since she last cried because of him. Watching how Jooeun had covered as she cried as silently as she could, Eunhee wasn't sure if she wanted to let her be on her own or comfort her.

As she chose the latter option, Eunhee very carefully sit up and asked, "Joonie-yah, are you okay?"

Surprised by her leader's gentle voice, Jooeun wiped her tears as much as she could and, in a coarse voice, said, "Oh.. You're awake? Or did I wake you up? I'm sorry.. I'm.. I'm fine. I just couldn't sleep."

Knowing that the younger girl was pretty much lying through her teeth, Eunhee sighed and hugged her as she said, "Fine my foot.. Even a blind man can see that you're not okay.. I know that his sudden appearance shocked you and woken up all those memories. I understand.. It's okay to cry.." 

Trying to hold back her tears, Jooeun faked a smile and jokingly said, "If a man is blind, he wouldn't be able to see..."

Although she knew that her friend was trying to make this tense moment lighter, Eunhee, on the other hand, wanted her to just confront her feelings now rather than break down in the middle of a rehearsal or worst, if they're to accidentally meet each other again. It's bound to happen since they're all idols and they're probably going to share the same stage at some point in life. Hugging the girl tighter, Eunhee said, "Shut up and just cry your heart out.. They say it's best to get it all out now rather than letting it live and eat inside of you. So, just cry and I'll be here to hold you."

Upon hearing her leader's words, Jooeun burst into tears and Eunhee held her tighter as she rubbed her back. Knowing that the younger girl will probably fall asleep crying as how she usually did previously, she slowly laid Jooeun down and hugged her from behind while the girl continued to cry her eyes out. And just as she had thought, Jooeun's tears gradually came to a stop when she fell asleep. As for Eunhee, she gave in to her exhausted body and drifted off to sleep - still hugging Jooeun - almost immediately after the said girl fell asleep.

ATH3NA stood in front of their director as they waited for him to finish his conversation. They had arrived at the agency half an hour earlier than they were supposed to but they didn't meet him until he had called for them to come into his office. However, before they could even greet him, his cellphone rang and he had to answer the call. 

"Yes, I've seen the outfits and I really liked them. Your designs had always been phenomenal Jaehyun-sshi. Yes, I think it really suits their debut concept and it would be great if you could get the girls to try it on as soon as possible. Yes, of course. Oh? You got the shoes too? That's fantastic! Of course, sure thing.. I'll get their managers to collect the shoes first. Yes, that would be all. I will wait for your arrival. Thank you for your great cooperation. No, of course we would credit you. Yes, sure.. Alright, see you then," Director Yang Hyunsuk had said, grinning as he look