CHAPTER 06

PREPARATION FOR PERFECTION

Sunday, 7 Feb 2016

Having no schedule for the day, B.A.P was lounging around in their dorm and doing their own things when their maknae, Choi Junhong aka Zelo, the television. As he was flicking through the channels, a familiar group name was mentioned that caught Himchan's and Yongguk's attention. 

"Yah! Turn back to that channel! Ppali!" Himchan said out loud as he left the things he was doing in the kitchen and rushed out to the living room. 

"Huh?! But why? We don't usually watch music..." Zelo was saying but his words were cut by Yongguk as the said guy dropped all the composing he was doing earlier and joined them in the living room. 

"Because I said so," Yongguk replied curtly, and the younger boy simply nodded and changed to the channel his older members were referring to. 

Once he turned to the particular channel, ATH3NA's Love's A Game blasted through their dorm. Although they missed the first part of the song, the 6 guys were still amazed by the performance, presence and stage control of these girls. Seeing how these girls were singing live and dancing at the same time, the B.A.P members were impressed by how stable their voices are without missing a single beat out of their choreography. 

"Woah! They are good! Who are they? Are they a new rookie group? They don't sound like a rookie to me," B.A.P's lead vocalist Yoo Yongjae said. 

"They're YG's new girl group, ATH3NA. If I'm not mistaken, they had trained for a very long time before debuting, hence their great performance and stage presence. From what I heard and I don't know if it's true or not, these girls are personally hand selected by YG himself," Himchan replied, and a series of hums echoed from s. His attention, however, fell on his best friend who was silent - far too silent - as he had his eyes glued to the television.

Yongguk had his eyes on Jooeun the entire time. She had always been beautiful but this girl he's watching on television, her beauty was beyond what he would ever imagine of her. 'Still as powerful and charismatic as ever,' Yongguk thought to himself as he watched Jooeun rapped her part in the song. As he watched her smile and have fun on stage, his mind flew back to one of the many memories they shared.  

| Flashback |

Sometime in 2011

Sitting in between Yongguk's legs as he hugged her from behind and rested his head in between the crook of her neck, a very young Jooeun broke into a fit of giggle when the older guy suddenly playfully bit her ear. The 2 of them had just finished training at their respective signed agency and they decided to meet up because it had been a few weeks since they last met each other. As they enjoyed the night view and refreshing cool breeze together, the 2 lovers fell into a comfortable silence for quite a while until Yongguk broke it.

Knowing the younger girl long enough to know that she has the talent of sleeping anywhere and everywhere, Yongguk nuzzled her shoulder and asked, "Joonie-yah.. Are you asleep?" 

"Nope.. But I was about to though," Jooeun replied teasingly. However, instead of hearing his deep chuckle or any reply at all, heavy silence fell between them. Unlike the comfortable silence they were in less than a minute ago, this one was suffocating and unbearable. As she heard Yongguk let out a heavy sigh, Jooeun turned around to look at him. Despite the darkness surrounding them, she could faintly see him frowning worriedly and she knew something was bothering him. "Oppa, what's wrong?" Jooeun asked as she used the tips of her fingers to gently ease the frowns on his foreheads and between his brows. Feeling her warm touch on his face, Yongguk closed his eyes and sighed once again.

Taking hold of her hand and putting it against his cheek, Yongguk said, "Joonie, I.. You.. Hmmm.. Will you hate me if I were to debut first before you?"

Upon hearing Yongguk's stupid question, Jooeun laughed. She thought he was joking however, upon seeing the seriousness in his face and eyes, she did her best to compose herself and said, "Oh, you're seriously asking me that? How long have you known me, oppa? Why would I hate you? No, how could you think that I would hate you? I would be so happy for you!"

"But you had always yearned for the microphone and stage! You had waited so long to be recognised.. So.. I.. I thought you will hate me if I were to debut first," Yongguk explained himself, and Jooeun chuckled, amused at the way his mind worked. 

"Oppa, you've worked equally hard too," Jooeun said but seeing how there were still doubts in his eyes, Jooeun cupped his face and placed a soft gentle peck on his lips and said, "Alright, how about if I were to ask you the same question.. Will you hate me if I were to debut before you do?"

Upon hearing his question directed back to him, Yongguk realised how stupid his question sounds. As he shook his head in reply to Jooeun's question, the younger girl smiled with a now-you-know-what-I-mean look on her face. Yongguk nodded and smiled, his heart feeling slightly lighter. He had been worried about this since his company's director informed him that they were planning for him to debut soon. 

"So, you've gotten news that you will debut soon?" Jooeun asked, smiling as she looked at him. 

"Well, not exactly.. They have yet to confirm the date but they did tell me that they're planning for my debut," Yongguk replied. 

"Wow! That's good, oppa! I'm really happy for you!" Jooeun said, grinning as she's sincerely happy and excited for her boyfriend, and then she added, "I can't wait for us to be rival on stage!"

"Rival?! Why must we be rival? Can't we be friends and then good friend who then become lovers? Technically, we are already lovers," Yongguk said as he wriggled his eyebrows suggestively at her, and the younger girl laughed.

"No! We may be lovers offstage but we will be rivals on stage. I don't want your future fans to kill me before I can even enjoy the spotlight," Jooeun said teasingly and they both laughed. 

"Well, if they are my fans, they will support the one I love.. and I love you," Yongguk said, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. 

"As I love you too," Jooeun said, and she leaned in and place a chaste kiss on his lips and then said, "Congratulations oppa.. This is a new start for you and I'm very sure you'll do extremely well. If you're ever in doubt, just look back and I'm always there behind you. As always, I'm your number 1 fan!"

| End of Flashback |

A soft tap on his shoulder brought him back to reality. Feeling the warmth that was just there, Yongguk unconsciously touched his lips. It might have been 5 years ago but he could still feel her every single time he went back to the memories they shared, especially this specific memory. It was the last time he met up with her before breaking off over the phone. The same heart wrenching pain and regret he never fail to feel whenever she crossed his mind began creeping up his throat, and his eyes began to burn. He missed her. He missed so goddamn much but there was nothing he could do. 

"H-Hyung, are you okay?" Zelo asked worriedly as he exchanged glances with the group's main vocalist, Jung Daehyun, who was seated next to him. 

Surprised by the question, Yongguk realised that he had been spacing out in front of s. ATH3NA was no longer on television, and he wondered how long had he been standing there. Without answering the younger guy's question, Yongguk escaped to his room. He took out his cellphone and stared at his wallpaper. It was their last picture taken together on that same day they last met. He pulled out her number and contemplated on calling her to congratulate her on her successful debut. However, as much as he really wanted to, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He just couldn't.

Instead, he typed a message and immediately press sent before he chickened out. 'Hi Joonie, congratulations on your debut. You looked and did great, and I'm very happy for you. - BYG,' Yongguk re-read the message, and all he wished now was to get at least a reply from her. Even if it was a single word or a string of curses, he would take anything from her as long as she would reply his message. 

Watching his leader disappeared inside his room without a word, Daehyun looked at Himchan and asked, "Hyung, what's wrong with Yongguk-hyung?"

"Yeah, hyung! He spaced out quite a lot nowadays and when we asked, he kept quiet. He seems very distant and it's unlike his usual self. Did something happen?" Yongjae asked as he looked at Himchan, the only one who would have the answers.

Himchan sighed. It wasn't his place or his story to tell, but he knew it's unfair for the rest of the members too. Yongguk had been uncharacteristically quiet and distant, and there were times he released his temper on them. Although they had quietly accepted his shouting during training and hadn't complained or said a word about it, Himchan knew they were bewildered by their leader's sudden change in behaviour and deserved an explanation. 

"Knowing Yongguk for so many years, who is the only person that is able to affect Yongguk? Whose name does he not say out unless he's completely drunk?" Himchan asked as he looked at s who exchanged glances with one another. 

"Uhm... Shin Jooeun... But what does she has to do with Yongguk-hyung now? Isn't she someone from his past that he just couldn't get over for all these years? Why the sudden change now? I don't get it, hyung," Daehyun replied and asked, frowning as he tried to make sense of what's happening. 

"Yes, Shin Jooeun was someone from his past but... she's back. Somehow, fate brought them back together," Himchan answered, and the other boys looked at each other as they got even more confused with his reply. 

"She's back? What do you mean? Hyung, please don't talk in circles and tell us straight," B.A.P's main dancer, Moon Jongup, said and the others nodded their heads in agreement as they still can't figure out what he meant. 

"Do you remember the girl that Yongguk and I saved that night? The incident where Yongguk asked our manager and director to inform the girl's agency to take serious measures on that freak who almost ually assaulted her?" Himchan asked, and when the other members nodded their heads, he continued to say, "That girl... she's Shin Jooeun..."

"WHAT?!" s exclaimed in shock, eyes wide open as they stared at him.

Nodding his head, Himchan said, "And she just debuted in the KPOP industry.. In fact, you guys just watched her perform with her group.."

"HUH?! ATH3NA?!" s exclaimed, again. They were still reeling from shock of the first news and this second one was no better.

"Yeap, she's in ATH3NA.. The main rapper of the group.. The one who just blew you away with her powerful rapping.. That's Shin Jooeun..."

"Oh my God..."

"No , man.."

Monday, 8 Feb 2016

It was almost 1AM when ATH3NA finally reached their dorm. Once they had opened the door, both Eunhee and Haneul rushed into the dorm and did their best to help Manager Soohwan who was struggling to enter the small apartment with their drunk-out-of-her-mind Jooeun in his arms. Once he had managed to settle Jooeun safely down on the sofa without hitting her head on the doorframe or cupboard or other furnitures around the house, he heaved a sigh of relief and stretched his body as he then looked at the sleeping girl who had just vomitted in the van. 

"Oppa, we're really sorry that Jooeun vomitted in the van.. I have no idea what this girl was thinking, to drink way more than what she knew she's capable of and then causing trouble for you guys to now find a place to wash the car at this timing.. We're really sorry.. I'll make sure it doesn't happen again," Eunhee said, feeling guilty and responsible as a leader, as she and Haneul bowed apologetically.

"Well, it is troublesome as I don't know if there's still any carwash open at this timing and you girls still need to use the van later for your schedules, but it's okay.. Jooeun doesn't always get herself drunk. She must be so happy that her dream finally came true. But yes, do make sure this doesn't becomes a norm or I'll cut the expenses used to wash the van from your earning," Manager Soohwan said, teasing the girls with his last statement. 

Both girls chuckled as they nodded their head, and their attention then fell on Jooeun whom had just shifted on the sofa. As frowns appeared on her face, Eunhee and Haneul realised that they were talking too loudly for their member's sensitive drunk ear. 

"Alright girls, I shall make a move now. Your other managers will kill me if I don't help them with cleaning the mess," Manager Soohwan said, and the 2 girls nodded as they send him to the door. However, before he leave, he turned to look at them and said, "Girls, don't forget to dress up slightly better than you usually do. There might be fans waiting outside of the agency or even the dorm itself. Also, director-nim has informed me to remind you girls that you'll be meeting up with him and your debut showcase producers to discuss on the list of songs and performances. It'll be quite intensive so I suggest you girls wash up as fast as you can and rest. You'll need your full energy to focus and practice tomorrow."

"Alright, oppa.. Thank you for reminding us. We'll rest as soon as we can.. So, we need to be ready by 8am tomorrow, right?" Eunhee said and asked, and the older man nodded his head. 

After exchanging a few more words and finally saying their goodbye, the 2 girls closed and locked the door before turning their attention to their sleeping member. Exchanging looks with each other, Eunhee and Haneul sighed as they frowned deeply. As they had known and lived with each other for quite some time now, they knew that Jooeun didn't drink because she was happy - none of the ATH3NA members get themselves drunk when they were happy.

"Eonnie, it has been a while since Joonie gets herself this drunk.. What do you think is disturbing her? She seemed okay earlier though, during our debut stages.. What happened? Why didn't she tell us anything?" Haneul asked as she bent down and gently soothe the frowns away from her brows.

Upon hearing Haneul's question, Eunhee sighed and said, "I don't know, Hannie.. But what I do know is that we both know there's only 2 person in this world that could affect her this much.. Her mother and him..."

Nodding her head, Haneul said, "Hmmm, I don't think it's her mother though.. She hasn't spoken about her for months now. So, it's him then.. But she was okay since the last time they met when he saved her, right?"

"She may seem okay but we'll never know how she truly feels.. Besides, she did mention something about 'meeting someone from the past' earlier when you met that girl who bullied you right? Maybe she isn't truly okay and she doesn't want us to worry about her," Eunhee said. 

"Oh! You caught that too? I noticed it but I knew she must have slipped up and so I didn't say anything to remind her or distract her emotions even further.. So, what should we do now? How do we help her, eonnie?" Haneul asked as she looked up at her leader who was frowning as she looked at Jooeun.

"I don't want to force her to tell us.. Let her settle her emotions on her own and if she needs our help, she knows she can come to us. We'll be there when she needs us but right now, she needs to deal with this on her own. Besides, this isn't the first time she's been like this. I know her, she's strong.. She will be okay," Eunhee said, flashing a small assuring smile, and Haneul nodded.

As much as Haneul really wanted to help Jooeun, she knew her leader is right. Since this problem involved her past and emotions, Jooeun needs to settle this on her own as there was nothing much that they could help her with. They can't possibly take her heart and brain out and bleached them to destroy all traces of memories of him, can they? Thus, the best they could do for her was to be there the moment when she needs them.

As they watched her twist and turn into an uncomfortable position on the sofa, Eunhee sighed and said, "Hannie-yah, it's getting very late.. Let's wash her up and change her clothing before putting her to bed. She'll wake up with a very bad backache if we were to let her sleep in this position any longer."

Haneul nodded and began to shake Jooeun's body gently to wake her up. Seeing no response from her, Eunhee joined in and began to tap her thighs and . Finally, after 10 long minutes, Jooeun opened her eyes and sat up groggily. 

"Eonnie, how are you feeling? Can you stand up on your own?" Haneul asked.

"Eonnie, how are you feeling? Can you stand up on your own?" Jooeun repeated, and Haneul rolled her eyes as she exchanged glances with her leader who just chuckled as she shook her head in amusement. Of course, how could she forget that Jooeun repeats every single thing that she hears when she's drunk. As they both helped the drunk girl up, Haneul looked at Eunhee and said, "Eonnie, hold onto her waist.. Her legs might give way later.."

"Eonnie, hold onto her waist.. Her legs might give way later," Jooeun repeated, her words came out in a slur as her body swayed against their hold.

"Alright.. Let's go to the washroom first and then I'll grab her clothes," Eunhee whispered as she looked at Haneul, hoping her words didn't reach their annoying drunk rapper. However, a drunk Jooeun being a drunk Jooeun, her ears are extra sensitive that she's able to pick up the softest words spoken that the normal Jooeun wouldn't be able to. And Haneul almost lost it. Almost.

"Can I smack her? Or can we taped or something?" 

"Can I.. *hiccup*.. smack her? Or can we taped .. *hiccup*.. or something?"

"That's it! I'm going to find something to shut her up!"

Gathered in one of the biggest meeting room in the HQ with Director Yang Hyunsuk, Producer Lee Seonghwan and his production team, and their seniors Big Bang and Teddy, ATH3NA watched with much enthusiasm as their introduction video for the debut showcase played on the screen. With one member being introduced at a time, the introduction video starts off with a compilation of their individual training videos before it comes together to form their faces.

"After the compilation of videos formed your face, we will paused the video. Your name will then be announced and you will walk on stage, after which we will continue to play the video to introduce the next member the same way," Producer Lee Seonghwan said, explaining how the introduction of the girls will take place on that day.

Nodding their heads as they acknowledged his explanations, ATH3NA's attention returned to video. Although they knew they had trained for quite a while, they were still pretty surprised by the number of training videos they had. A sense of nostalgia washed over them as they watched how far they have come, from the little girls who were struggling to learn everything to the girls who have just made their dreams come true.

Once the video ended, Director Yang Hyunsuk looked at ATH3NA and asked, "So girls, what do you think of the video?"

"It was so so good! I really like it! I was quite surprised by the number of training videos we had though.. I didn't know we had that many videos that it was actually enough to make a collage out of it," Eunhee replied, smiling, and her members nodded their head in agreement. 

"Yes! I really love it! The transitions from merging all the videos to form our face was just amazing!" Haneul said, amazement evidence in her voice.

"I agree! Also, seeing all the training videos, it actually feels quite surreal. I still can't believe that we have gone this far and debuted," Jooeun said, and everyone in the room chuckled at the innocence in her sentence.  

"And you girls still have a long way to go," Director Yang Hyunsuk said, and Jooeun nodded as she chuckled embarrassingly. Of course she knew she still has a long way to go, especially if compared to the success of her seniors Big Bang and 2NE1. Director Yang Hunsuk opened ATH3NA's debut album on his laptop and said, "Alright, now that we have seen the introduction video and got a feel on how the opening would be, let's discuss on the songs you're going to perform on that day. Have you girls given a thought or discuss on this?" 

Exchanging glances with each other, ATH3NA nodded and Eunhee, being the leader, said, "Yes, director-nim. We have given some thoughts about it and even discussed them with Big Bang sunbaenim. For our opening performance, we chose to perform GODDESS followed by Jessie J's Bang Bang. I know tha