A/N EDIT: I just want to let everyone know that there is a collection of background stories for each of the bts members excluding Yoongi and Jimin. The first is Jin's and the rest are connected to it. You can find them here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8346103 or http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1185644/at-soul-s-end-prequel-prequel-bts

I slowly become aware out of the embrace of darkness, floating, detached from the world around me. My first impression is of warm fuzziness, of weightlessness, of a vast open emptiness inside of me. Emptiness? That’s not right. The word itself is enough to drag me down from wherever I’ve been and into my body. Suddenly I feel heavy, pinned down by the weight of gravity even as I remain in this opaque world of obscurity. Where am I? Why is the world black, an eternal night? Am I alone? I shouldn’t be. But why shouldn’t I be? I’m so confused. It feels like I’ve lost myself. I don’t know who I am or what I’m supposed to be doing but I’m definitely missing something more than just myself. There’s a hole inside of me and I don’t like it.

The first thing outside myself that finally catches my attention, pulling me from this questioning limbo of black, is the sound of shuffling, rustling, low moans. I struggle to understand as I fight to throw off the eternal night that clings to me and finally, dim grey light begins to seep into my awareness as my eyelids flutter open. I can see my body stretched out in front of me, stained clothing covering my chest and legs, dirty sneakers on my feet. With some difficulty I try to move my limbs, the muscles twitching more than obeying my commands.

Next, I will my stiff neck into action, the joints and tendons seeming to groan aloud with the effort but I finally manage to get my head to turn to the side. I find myself in a long but narrow space. There are others like me ambling around down the corridor. Like me? I can’t figure out what that phrase means or how it differentiates ‘us’ from ‘them.’ I don’t even really know what ‘us’ or ‘them’ refers to but these others like me seem just as aimless and dazed as I am. Is that what I mean? When I turn my head to the other side I can see a sliver of daylight coming from an open doorway not too far from me.

For a while I just have to sit here, trying to wrap my boggy mind around whatever has taken place. I’m confused about so many things, like a newborn taking in the world for the first time yet I’m sure there’s a wellspring of knowledge inside me somewhere. Even so, I find myself drowning in seemingly inane questions. Why am I here? Where is ‘here’?

Despite the others moving around me I feel like I’m separate from them; different, alone. Deep inside I know I’m supposed to be with someone in particular but whom? I’m not sure. Why do I feel like a part of me is missing? My mind is a blank slate and I find this fact to be painfully disconcerting.

A gentle waft of air ruffles my hair, dragging me out of my head again. I can feel a warm, dry breeze soaring in from the doorway, replacing the stale, pungent air with something light and almost alive. In comparison, the fresh air tastes honey sweet on my tongue and I want more. With much effort I eventually coax my stiff muscles and joints into action, finally pulling myself up onto my feet. Groaning deep in my chest after such exertion, I manage to shuffle towards the door. The air smells clean and crisp and I take a moment to revel in it before looking around outside.

The sun is bright in my eyes and it takes a moment for them to adjust. A concrete parking lot stretches out in front of me. Vehicles are parked here and there but none of them are moving. There are others like me wandering around but, although I am one of them, none of them belong to me. None of them are mine. How do I know this? What does it mean that they don’t belong to me? And if they aren’t mine, where is the one who is?

Beyond the parking lot are tall buildings, a mountain range in the distance. Despite being in a large city, nothing moves; no cars can be heard, no voices of people, no machinery in the distance. The only sounds are the blowing breeze, the call of birds in the distance, and the low moans and shuffling feet of those around me. The city is nothing more than a skeleton, the vital organs having been removed.

Uncertainty surrounds me as I begin to walk. I have no destination in mind, no intent that leads me forward. I don’t know where I am so where I’m going seems just as irrelevant. With nothing else to guide me, I just follow my feet. Somehow I know they will lead me where I need to go if, indeed, there is someplace I’m eventually supposed to be. Until then, my rambling mind will be my only companion, I’m sure.

A/N 2/20/18:  I want to sincerely thank everyone for all their comments and support as I work to make my return to the world once again. You help give me strength and resolve. I could never truly pay you back for all you've done for me but I hope this story will at least give you a little something in return. Thank you all XOXOXO