The practice room felt blaringly silent as the music went out. They all took a moment to catch their breaths, looking at one another, with the same thought in mind. Suho peered down at his watch. He wiped his sweaty brow with his forearm. They had started practicing three hours ago and she never showed. It was utterly unlike her. Jae was one of the most punctual and reliable people he’d ever met. The men dispersed, continuing their activities for the day. Though, his mind remained on the quiet, sad girl he’d stood before just a few nights ago. “Hyung,” Tao called. Suho hung up his phone, feeling more worried that this was her sixth unanswered call from him. “I was thinking I’d go see Jae today, but I don’t have her address.”

            “Zitao, I don’t think that’s a very good idea. I’m sure she has a good reason for missing practice. Besides you have wooshu practice today remember?” Tao groaned. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure she’s fine.”

            Yet, in a matter of minutes, he stood before her apartment door. It hadn’t been too difficult to get her home address from her manager. His eyes darted back and forth in the dingy hall. He didn’t quite like the place she was living in. He couldn’t help questioning why SM hadn’t moved her to a dorm? He made sure his mask was secure on his face as he swiftly knocked on the door. She opened the door after a few moments. Suho sighed, relieved that she was unharmed. “You are okay,” he stated more to himself than her. However, upon noting the redness in her eyes he took the words back. “Jae-ah,” he whispered.

            Without fully processing things, she ran into his arms. He hesitantly wrapped them around her, her back. Her fist clutched at his shirt as the contact with another human being made her feel desperate. Jae let out slow breaths as he helped her inside. He took a glance at her face once more, cupping her chin. She sniffled, quickly feeling embarrassed for letting herself reach such an unprofessional and humiliating point. She rubbed at her eyes and cleared . “I’m sorry. That was inappropriate and I’m sorry for missing practice today. I’m probably in big trouble.”

            He couldn't help looking at her with such tender eyes. Her red nose and her soft hiccups. “Hey, don’t worry about it. No one knows you missed it, other than us." He patted her back. "What happened?”

            She stepped back and scoured at her whole face, releasing a sigh. “Nothing.” She shook her head and smiled, his gaze persevered. “I’m just ed up as always.” His eye brows slightly flew up at her cussing and overall statement. “Sorry. Again.” She bit her lip, feeling more and more stupid by the minute. “Do you want some water? I’ll get us some water.”

            Like the previous night he took a hold of her arm before she could whisk by him. “I know that something is wrong. Now tell me what it is.” His eyes studied her soft, beautiful face. “Keeping things inside... They eat at you Jae-ah.”

            tightened at the thought of saying it aloud. He was so concerned and it broke her heart. “I—I can’t—.” She shook her head. “It hurts just to think about it.” She covered before she could let a whimper escape her lips. “Besides, Sunbae, why would you want to burden yourself with my problems?”

            He sighed. “Okay, you need to stop that. Think of me as an older brother.” He gently smiled, patting her arm. “Just be careful calling me oppa, because the guys will lose it.” She softly chuckled, letting out another sniffle, feeling lighter with his presence. “Now, tell your older brother what’s wrong,” he mumbled with a pout. “Do I need to beat someone up.”

            She rubbed her neck and shook her head with a small grin. She looked into his kind and concerned expression. How bad would it be to let him in? To trust him? Trusting... Closeness... Empathy... She didn’t do any of it. Letting someone in was pointless, like they could ever truly understand what ran through her mind. Reliance. This would only allow them the ability to leave you, to hurt you. It was easier to feel nothing, keeping a façade for safety.

            He took her hand. “You can tell me anything,” he whispered. He noted her hesitation and the last thing he wanted was for her to push him away because of his persistence. “You don’t have to tell me now.” He ruffled her hair as he had been tempted to do so many times. “Just know I’m here whenever you are ready. Whenever you need me.”

            Could it really be that bad? She clenched her teeth. She’d been so lonely. It had been eating at her, in the worst way possible. Almost convincing her that she felt nothing, only once a year, where she lost all reason. The one time a year she felt it all at once. She gulped, dry. “I know,” she managed. “Knowing that, makes today a little more bearable.”  A shiver ran through her body at the mention.

            “How about I make us some hot chocolate? Watch an action movie?” He wagged his eyebrows. She bit her lip and nodded. He squeezed her arm, his mind racing, beyond curious. Yet, he didn’t dare continue. She’d accepted him and that was enough. Perhaps one day she’d be comfortable enough to tell him the significance of today, comfortable enough to tell him anything.

*     *     *

            The boys laughed as Jae tackled Suho, but he easily turned the tables on her. Chanyeol’s grin widened as he noticed how she wasn’t giving up, cheeks flushed, hair stuck to her forehead. It was great seeing how much brighter she’d become and wasn’t afraid to joke around with them. He wasn’t sure what Suho had told her, but she was a lot more open with them now. She still hadn't told him why she was crying that day on the phone, but she was here and that's all that mattered. Tao crossed his arms, a little jealous that Suho was getting all of her attention now. Baek elbowed him, “She’s not yours you know.”

            Tao mimicked his statement in an immature voice. He couldn’t help being annoyed. Jae was his. He’d told all the boys he called dibs, the instance they had a moment to theirselves of course. Sure the guys had just laughed and shrugged, as if not believing his interest would lead to anything. However, he was quite charming and attractive. With their bonded strength of being foreigners and all the time they spent together, it didn’t seem too outrageous for her to be interested in him too. His eyes widened, as well as everyone’s necks nearly snapping, when she spoke to Suho. “Su Oppa, I’m hungry.”

            Suho casually continued to wipe the sweat off his face, not surprised by her pet name. “We can get some food if you want. It’s pretty dark out, I’m sure we’ll go unnoticed. What are you craving?”

            “What did you just call him,” Kai exclaimed.

            Jae turned around to find all nine men staring at her, eyebrows raised. She cleared , cheeks red. “N—Nothing. Suho. I mean Sunbae.” Her palms became clammy. It had slipped. How had she let it slip? Since that day, Suho talked to her on the phone every day, mentioning absolutely random things, just there for her. He’d gained her love, her affection. Suho sort of smirked and shook his head, his I-told-you-so expression fully radiating. She shoved him slightly. “Meeaaaatttt,” she slowly chanted to the guys.

            “Don’t change the subject,” Baek remarked laughing.

            “Steak,” she continued.

            “Steak does sound good,” Lay butted in.

            “I know a really good place,” she added eyebrows wagging. "Trust me, I'm American."

            “How big are the pieces,” Chen questioned, his eye analytical and his mouth watering.

            “Huge! Two hands.” All of their eyes followed her small hands. "Two of your hands."

            “Guys,” Kai interjected, feeling frustrated by everyone quickly forgetting the point of such an uproar. How could they begin to ignore the fact that she had called their leader Oppa. Since when had they become so comfortable?

            “With some soju,” Chanyeol aggregated happily.

            Her eyes thanked him and she hooked her arm in his. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.” She guided him out the door, the rest following. “I’ll get a bottle for myself, well maybe more than one.” She winked causing some hoots and laughter.

            Baek watched in surprise and sniggered. “She’s good.” He patted Kai’s shoulder. “Lighten up, she called me Oppa just the other day. Your time will come.” He chuckled evilly, following suit.

            “What,” Kai shouted after his brother. Not even after a full piece of steak and an entire soju bottle, could Jongin stop dwelling on the “oppa” incident. Slightly intoxicated, he pointed at Jae. “Why did you call him Oppa?” His head flicked to his leader, who was quite drunk himself.

            “Yeah,” Tao egged on. “Call me oppa.” He placed his hand against his chest, swaying in his seat. She laughed, not drunk herself, unlike two thirds of their group.

            “No, no, no. Don’t do that. Just call me oppa,” Suho murmured, his cheeks red. His smile disappeared and he pointed at s. “Stop complaining. Jae-ah is my little sister. It’s official, I’m her older brother.”

            She chuckled and patted his arm. “Of course you are.”

            “But I’m the oldest. If anything, call me oppa,” Xiumin argued.

            Sehun shook his head, just as sober as Jae. His judging and slightly disgusted stares entirely evident. “I apologize on the behalf of these hyungs. But I’m pretty laid back, calling me oppa would be a breeze,” he whispered.

            She playfully shoved him. “You too! Sehun, we’re the same age.” He shrugged. “Okay, okay.” She eyed all of them, her eyes resting on a grinning Chanyeol, who was entirely amused by the situation. “If you guys don’t feel uncomfortable with it; I will call all of you oppa.” They all cheered and clinked their drinks. They all roared in success, asking for more meat and soju. “Ridiculous,” she mumbled in English, shaking her head.

            “So now that we have that out of the way,” Baek interrupted the moment of bliss. “Who’s your favorite?” He placed his hand under his chin cutely.

            She shook her head and glared at the beautiful man as another rumble of comments erupted. “Sunbae,” she hissed.

            “Nah-uh.” He shook his finger. “Oppa,” he corrected.

            Her lips pressed together. “Well,” Lay questioned.

            She gulped looking at the expecting gazes. She bit her lip as her eyes slowly trailed from face to face. They were all handsome and she liked them all. However, even as she tried to convince herself that she wasn’t particularly attracted to one of them, her eyes slightly rested longer on Chanyeol. She forced herself to remain expressionless and luckily none of the other members caught on. “I—“ Her mind went to the lie she always blurted when placed in a tight spot with a guy. “I have a boyfriend back home,” she fibbed. Everyone’s face instantly dropped. “I don’t think he’d like me picking a favorite.” The boys looked at one another, shocked, disappointed and a little hurt. How could their goddess love someone who wasn’t them?

*     *     *

            Chanyeol gave Jae brief looks as they walked side by side. The boys had invited her to dinner for the second time that week and they were short on supplies. Chanyeol had lost at rock, paper, scissors, however had they'd known she'd go with him, some would have volunteered instead. She met his gaze, and although they were both wearing face masks to stay incognito, he could see she was beaming.

            But how couldn't she smile? She thoroughly enjoyed these cold starry nights. She was looking forward to the insanity that dinner would be. Not to mention, she was with Chan, who was a huge teddy bear that could always manage a smile out of her. She pulled her grey scarf closer to her cold neck.

            "I like your scarf," he complimented, ending the silence.

            She squeezed the soft material in her hands. "Thank you." She let out a small laugh. "It's actually my lucky scarf." She found herself missing the young man's cologne as it had faded from the fabric not too long ago.

            His eyes thinned as his smile widened. "Oh really? Where did you get it and why is it lucky?"

            She felt her cheeks color. "I actually got it from a stranger." She bit her bottom lip, remembering such a handsome face. She avidly told Chan the story of her second day at work and her knight in shining armor, but she left out the part where she knew exactly who he was now.

            Chanyeol watched her as she told the story, a sort of light twinkling in her eyes. She sighed at last, tugging at the scarf once more. He bit his lip, feeling envious of a stranger despite himself. He knew it was stupid to feel that way, but he couldn't help himself. She was so bright at the mention of him. He had grown to like her... More than a co-worker... More than a friend. "Lucky," he repeated with a sigh.

            She nodded. "Yeah, lucky he was there, lucky I got this scarf." She softly laughed. "Lucky I'm here... With you." She playfully bumped into his side. In that moment, she had to look away. How could she have said that? Her heart began to race. No dating, no dating, no dating.

            His smile returned. He reflexively turned the ring on his ring finger. He slowly removed it from his hand. It was the first thing he'd bought when he had been accepted into the company. It was sentimental of course, but he cared for her and based upon the small sad gazes, her sobs and the little Suho shared with them... He took her hand and placed it on her thumb. It was loose on her small finger. "Here, you could use a little more luck. "

            She looked dumbstruck at the ring. She tried to remove it, but he stopped her. "Chan I can't. This is yours."

            He shook his head and grinned, trying not to dwell at her use of his nickname. "No, it's yours."

            "I can't Chan."

            "You have to or I'll be mad." He furrowed his brow in fake anger.

            She chuckled, her eyes resting on the gentle giant. "Okay, I'll keep it." She sighed and looked at the ring, sure she’d lose it. A tender smile appeared on her lips. She looked up at his sweet face once more, her cheeks warming. What would she do without him? She removed a silver necklace from her neck and slipped off the heart pendant to loop the ring in. She mentally chuckled as she remembered the necklace had been given to her by her father. Days like these, she wished for nothing more than to forget him. She tucked the pendant into her pocket, her hand softy laid on the ring on her chest as she beamed with content. He quietly watched her as she did this. Jae grinned at him and abruptly unfastened a black leather bracelet she had for years. "Only if you take this."

            "No," he began.

            She laughed, forcibly tying it around his larger wrist. It had always fit her loose, so naturally it was perfect on him. "Now we will both have luck! It says ‘day by day’ in Japanese."

            He shook his head as he stared at the strangely fitting bracelet.  "Okay," he sighed taking her wrist and pulling her into the grocery store. However, had she known that simple exchange would have complicated everything, perhaps she wouldn't have been so willing to do it.

*     *     *

            Jae rubbed her sweaty palms on her flowing, white gown. She let out a heavy breath as she mentally prepared herself. This was it. It was the end and the beginning. She anxiously laughed and spun a bit. “Are you okay,” Chanyeol softly chuckled.

            She froze in her tracks, cheeks flushing. “Yeah of course.” She let out another nervous chuckle.  Once more she had to rip her eyes off of him. She was doing it much too often. Yet, Chanyeol was oblivious, just as she was clueless to how much longer his eyes would rest on her when she looked away. “Okay, I’m terrified,” she confessed. “This is it. This is the music video. It’s five in the morning and my legs are shaking.” She covered her cheeks with a giant smile. “Oh God, I’m going to fall out there aren’t I?”

            Chanyeol laughed anxiously with her. “It’ll be fine. Look I still get nervous for these things.” He gave her his legendary bright smile. “You’re a far better dancer than any of us.” Her eyes narrowed. “You know your parts and our parts front and back. Don’t think I don’t know what goes on behind those analytical eyes of yours.” Jae nudged him playfully.

            Baek appeared and shoved Chanyeol much harder. “Are we beating up Chanyeol?” He also delivered a kick to his . He followed by rubbing his shoulders sweetly.  “Ah are you trying to cheer on Jae-ah.” He gaged her wide panicked eyes. “Ya, you’ll do good! Probably better than us!” And before she could say anything else he called the rest of the group and the ten of them reassured her she’d do it perfectly.

            After the ten-hour shoot, she did. Within a month the music video was released. It was strange at first, not seeing the guys every day, yet she was just as busy preparing for her debut. That didn’t stop her from sneaking out to meet them for some late night ddeokbokki. "So how's practice going," Tao questioned with a mouthful of spicy rice cakes.

            Jae some of the sauce from her lips, gaining some bashful gazes from the guys without her noticing. "It's good. It's fun." She sighed. "The choreography isn't as diffiult as I thought it would be."

           "Nothing is ever too difficult for you," Suho laughed as he filled his mouth.

           "And how is your boyfriend," Lay asked earnestly.

           Her eyes widened and as she noted their expecting gazes she knew it'd be impossible to get out of the question. Her heart raced and her head spun.The answer was simple. She just had to lie and say he was fine and that was that. However, spoke without her consent. "We broke up," she casually responded. With those three words, she opened a door that perhaps should have remained closed.