Chapter Two: A Serious Case of Lovesickness

 

The dorm was too quiet to be considered normal.

 

Usually, EXO’s dorm room was noisy on a bad day, deafening on a good day, and ear shattering on a great day. Even asleep, snores would come out of Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s room and the occasional yells of “They’re eating my face! Ghosts! Zombies! Ah!” from Tao and Xiumin’s room. Luhan considered asking SM Sajangnim to soundproof the rooms, but then that would come out of their salary and Tao’s incessant pleas for gifts from him and Kris would put them in debt just because they can’t refuse their maknae.

 

Luhan stared around the room, amazed at the silence and slightly apprehensive at the thoughts running in their heads. He glanced at the girl seated between Suho and Kris. Luhan’s eyes trailed over her face and can’t help but be in awe of her beauty.

 

Bare-faced and wearing a knitted blue hoodie, denim jeans, and white walking shoes, she’s the epitome of beauty and simplicity. Porcelain skin, expressive almond-shaped eyes, brown irises, nicely-shaped nose, contoured cheekbones, pouty lips—Luhan now understood why Chanyeol is still a die-hard fanboy of 2ne1 and YG Entertainment’s visual.

 

He felt like he’s about to become a fanboy Chanyeol.

 

Suho, who saw her discomfort at the stares, turned to her with a smile. “Ne, Dara noona, would you like to eat some Gyeongju bread? My family gave me some when they were in Gyeongju.”

 

Her eyes lighted up as she smiled brightly. “Ne! I love pastries!”

 

That was the icebreaker that EXO needed.

 

“I like sweets too, noona!”

 

“She’s sunbaenim to you, Tao!”

 

“Yeah, well, she told me to call her Dara noona!”

 

“Yah! She told us to call her Dara noona! Not only you!”

 

She waved her hand and smiled, stopping the argument. “Oh, you can all call me Dara noona. I don’t mind. Besides, what happened a while ago makes us close now, ne?”

 

Tao nodded excitedly as he remembered the high-speed driving that he experienced from Dara noona. He was shocked that such a petite woman can drive better than most men but that’s what made her appealing to him—she’s tough and beautiful at the same time.

 

At that moment, Tao became another fanboy of his goddess.

 

The six were terribly curious at what happened with Dara noona and the other six members of EXO. Seeing the excitement in Kai and Tao’s face, the awe in Baekhyun and Luhan’s face, the fear in Suho’s face, and the impressed look in Kris’ face, they were sure that it’s something cool and terrifying at the same time.

 

Kyungsoo stood up and ushered everyone into the dining table. Dara noona sat at the middle. Suho sat at his usual seat, the farthest end and nearest the water dispenser.

 

He just stared incredulously as the others started to battle for the seats beside the girl. Chen, Kyungsoo, Baekhyun, Sehun, and Kai did a complicated mixed version of Rock-Paper-Scissors and Poke-the-loser-with-a-pen game. The strongest and tallest ones in the group, Xiumin, Chanyeol, Kris, Tao, Luhan and Lay, subtly pushed their way towards the seat to Dara noona’s right. Xiumin was the shortest but he’s the strongest. With a surge of unparalleled strength, he pulled the giants Kris and Chanyeol away from the seat and planted himself beside her.

 

Dara noona was surprised but she smiled in greeting. “Annyeong, Xiumin-ssi.”

 

“You know my name, Dara noona?”

 

“Ne, I know all of your names. I’m a fan of EXO, you know.”

 

Everyone stilled, with Suho’s choking resounding in the background.

 

Kris, who sat himself across Dara noona, leaned forward, staring intensely at the girl. “You’re an EXO-L, noona?”

 

She smiled shyly, a blush adorning her cheeks. Kris gulped at the sight. “Ne, I’ve been a fan since your Growl MV.”

 

Hoping they’re distracted enough, Baekhyun sneaked forward and sat on Dara noona’s left, much to the other’s dismay and annoyance. Glumly, they trudged forward and pulled the remaining seats. Chanyeol, who is a certified fanboy of the goddess in their table, was devastated that his Kris hyung got the seat across her and annoyed that Baekhyun, his best friend, got to seat beside her.

 

Baekhyun put a hand under his chin, eyes twinkling. “You like us, noona! That’s great! We like you too!”

 

Dara reached over and squeezed Baekhyun’s cheeks. “Omo! You are so cute!”

 

“Noona! Am I not cute for you, too?”

 

Dara let go of the blushing vocal’s cheeks as she turned to a pouting Kai. “Oh, Kai, you’re cute as well!” She lightly pinched the dancer’s nose and laughed.

 

Chanyeol has never seen EXO beg someone for her attention. He had seen Tao, Sehun, and Kai beg their way out of chores, Kyungsoo and Baekhyun beg for more water breaks from intense practices, Chen beg for more outings, and Lay and Xiumin beg for longer napping time. But he never saw the hyungs beg for anything, much less someone’s attention.

 

Luhan hyung and Kris hyung were trying to make his Dara noona to admit they’re cute and handsome. Even Suho, the responsible leader of EXO, was subtly reminding Dara noona that the meeting in the alleyway was “the meeting of two souls brought by fate so they can save the world together”.

 

Chanyeol felt threatened. He was the original Dara fanboy in EXO. He knows everything about 2ne1, especially his bias. He was the first one to see their MVs, the first one to know any news about them. He even sneaked out to see them in a signing event when he was just a trainee!

 

But he just sighed in resignation. He knew the effect his bias and his goddess has on many people and, most unfortunately, her fanboys.

 

Chanyeol nodded. At least it’s just us in EXO. If there are more fanboys, I’ll scream.

 

They ate the pastries and drank the strawberry smoothie that Kyungsoo prepared. Laughter filled the air as the maknae line teased their hyungs about their sleeping habits. Then Lay brought up the topic that got everyone excited.

 

Lay smiled cheekily, dimples and all. “Ne, noona, what did you mean about what you said to Tao? How did you even meet the other EXO members?”

 

Dara finished her smoothie and put the glass down. “Eh, well, Suho, who was riding a bicycle at the time, bumped into me—“

 

“Mwoya?”

 

“Mwo?”

 

“What do you mean by ‘bumped’?”

 

“Suho hyung, did you run her over?”

 

Suho was sweating bullets. He knew his head was on the line with the glares drilling through his face but honesty is the most probable solution, even if he'd pay for it afterwards.

 

“Ne.”

 

He expected the hyung line to yell at him for being irresponsible but the maknae line got the memo.

 

The girl in question tried to appease the upset maknaes but they were firm and resolute.

 

It was a strange and humiliating experience for the leader of EXO when the maknaes berated him for endangering the life of their precious noona; almost killing her and ridding the world of the most beautiful girl they have ever seen.

 

Suho was uncertain whether the maknaes’ lecture on responsibility or the hyungs’ intense glare on his face was more terrifying.

 

It took a while before everyone calmed down, but Lay had the fleeting thought of actually wishing that he could transform into a unicorn so he can gouge his leader with his horn.

 

Dara sighed. “Alright, after that unnecessary reaction because I was not killed by Suho, I found out that you were all running away from sasaengs.”

 

Shudders ran through the group. Tao was visibly shaking.

 

“So Suho and I went back to find your bodies.”

 

“Yah! Noona! You’re saying it as if we’re dead already!”

 

Dara let out a tinkling laugh. Sehun was expressionless but he can’t help but think that her laugh was beautiful. “Well, when those crazy people are involved, you really never know!”

 

“Anyway, we came back and saw the six hiding behind the column in the parking lot. Which is very stupid of you, boys, because surrounding yourselves with no way out is not a smart thing.”

 

Baekhyun bowed his head. “Mianhe, noona, we panicked because they’re everywhere and when I saw the others running towards the parking lot, I followed.”

 

Dara nodded, patting Baekhyun’s hair. “Ne, you just panicked. But the next time this happens,” She directed her stern gaze on the bowed heads of EXO. “Don’t let them surround you. Always find at least three exits and make sure they’re always cleared at all times. Your security may be overwhelmed by your fans so it’s your job to get away unscathed. Trust me on this—2ne1 may not have as much sasaengs as you do but we have our moments.”

 

Suho smiled in thanks. “Kamsahamnida, noona, we’ll make sure to follow what you said.”

 

“Aigoo, your sasaengs are something! The only way to get out of the parking lot is to pass by them so they positioned themselves around the exit in case you got away. So I did what I had to do.”

 

 

Dara smirked, as well as the five others who were with her. The exception was Suho who was too edgy to think about what he experienced seating in the passenger seat.

 

Omo, her smile is so—Xiumin blushed fiercely as he shook the thought out of his head.

 

Chanyeol, engrossed, leaned forward. “What happened next, noona?”

 

“I stepped on the gas and led a high-speed chase with your sasaengs.”

 

Chaos erupted.

 

“Wah! High-speed chase? Like that movie Fast and the Furious?”

 

“You drive that fast, noona?”

 

“No! Why didn’t I stay with you, Luhan hyung? We could have been there!”

 

“I envy you, Tao. It must have been quite a sight!”

 

“How I wish I could’ve seen you drive, noona!”

 

“Well, I knew you were a good driver, noona!”

 

Dara was embarrassed with the attention she was getting but she pushed on. “Well, I didn’t break any traffic rules—I hope—but I did my best to get away fast before we’re all seen. So that’s it. That’s what I was referring to a while ago.”

 

The EXO members were filled with awe and they asked more questions about their Dara noona. Those who have their driver’s license asked her to teach them to drive like her. Those who don’t have their driver’s license were jealous of their hyungs but asked their noona to come with them to their next bubble tea escapade. Soon, the questions turned to kinds like “What’s your favorite dish?” and “If you could choose between teleportation and power of wind/air, what would it be?”

 

Suho thought that the questions were tame, if a bit pretentious, but then Chen decided to create his own havoc, thus extending the frown lines that Suho recently developed.

 

Chen grinned, charming the goddess with his beautiful smile. “Say, noona, who is your bias in EXO?”

 

Suho choked on his pastry. He gave a nasty glare on the scheming troll.

 

Chen, I’ll strangle you in your sleep!

 

The silence was deafening. Every member turned to the flustered noona, stares digging through her, as they waited for the inevitable truth that would come out of her lips.

 

Chanyeol was using all of his lucky stars that his wish will come true—that he is Dara noona’s bias. Lay, Xiumin, and Baekhyun crossed their fingers, wishing the same thing. Tao and Kyungsoo used their aegyo on the girl. Kris, Sehun, Kai, and Luhan increased the intensity of their eyes, trying to push their “y”—or what they think is “y”—gaze on their goddess. Chen was staring expectantly on his noona.

 

Suho was busy cursing s. On what exactly is still a mystery to the half-confused, half-irritated-at-his-members EXO leader.

 

Dara, on the other hand, felt pressured by their gaze. How is she supposed to answer that question? “Uh—“

 

Chen was relentless. “Ne, noona, it’s okay if you only have one. That’s the normal number for a bias, ne?”

 

“Aniyo, you could like many, especially in a large group.”

 

“So, who do you like, noona?”

 

Dara noona looked cornered. She opened and closed it a few more times before she gulped. “Well, if I have to choose a bias then I’ll choose—“

 

Suho had enough of s forcing her to answer a question that she doesn’t want to answer. He stood up, glaring at each member with contempt. “Mianhe, noona. Chen is just spouting off nonsense because he must’ve eaten something and upset his stomach—“

 

“Suho.”

 

“—He just needs some medication to—what?”

 

“Suho hyung? He’s your bias?”

 

Their jaws dropped as they saw their goddess nod shyly. Chen, who fully expected her to say he’s her bias, was shocked to silence. Tao started to sob as he blamed his leader hyung’s “ajumma mannerism” because girls are attracted to that, instead of his “y, promiscuous, and irresistible panda-like charm”. Kris and Luhan were silent, both thinking hard on the reasons why someone like Dara would have a bias like Suho. Kai and Sehun were suddenly annoyed at their hyung for getting Dara noona’s attention. Baekhyun and Xiumin were wholly convinced that Dara just likes Suho because he’s the one she met first. Kyungsoo and Lay were planning on the best dishes to cook for their Dara noona to win her over.

 

Chanyeol did not look up, fearing that he’d end up with the sobbing Tao if he did.

 

Suho’s expression was a mixture of disbelief, astonishment, and, dare he say it, happiness.

 

 Sehun was the first to ask, “Why Suho hyung?”

 

“And why not? I admire his leadership, his talent, and his care for all of you. He doesn’t need to, but he does it anyway. That’s why he’s my bias.”

 

Chen pushed further. “But that’s subject to change, right noona?”

 

Suho wanted to smack the life out of Chen.

 

“Maybe. But I don’t really believe in biases—they’re just there to tell you of what you think you want in a person. I think that it’s better to discover each and everyone and like them for who they are, not just picking one from the group but liking them as a whole as well.”

 

That earned her delighted smiles and impressed gazes. They can’t take their eyes off of her, too mesmerized by the beauty that is Sandara Park. They often wondered how YG artists act behind cameras. Were they as approachable as their sunbaenims in SM Entertainment? Were they as cool as they’re portrayed in their MVs and photo shoots? Were they kind to rookie idols?

 

Questions that seemed to be answered by each YG artist’s TV series but circumstances change when there are no people watching.

 

EXO was a rookie idol compared to a veteran group like 2ne1. They are treated differently from their sunbaenims and that’s what they have to accept. Everybody starts at the bottom, even the best of the best. Actually hearing from the humility that people say she possesses brought a good feeling inside them.

 

As one, they turned to stare at each other, determined and motivated.

 

No other fanboys shall come near our noona. She’s ours.

 

Once we find out you like our goddess, we’ll find you and rip you to shreds.