Chapter One: Sasaeng ver. 2.0

 

Suho always thought that running for one’s life would add more years to his youthful face. His group EXO was so popular nowadays that he couldn’t go out of the bathroom without being mobbed by groups of girls and the occasional boys. One time, he actually had to run with his shirt gone because crazy fans or sasaengs got in their dressing room.

 

The dressing room was equipped with a fingerprint-scanning device. And the door was voice-activated just in case one of them got their hands full.

 

The sasaengs, he thought with a shudder, have just evolved into their 2.0 versions.

 

Have mercy on their souls.

 

Being a male idol of the trending group of SM Entertainment, he has many fangirls to take into consideration and more than enough sasaengs to drive his normally sane mind insane. Their sunbaes Super Junior, TVXQ, and SHINee also have their fair share of running away from crazy, hormone-fueled, must-be-checked-in-a-rehabilitation-center-for-psychosis sasaengs, but they all mellowed down with age.

 

EXO’s just starting, and their sasaengs started with a bang.

 

And that’s the reason why the poor leader of EXO was running for his life: for the safety of his innocent mind.

 

They were doing a signing event at one of the malls in Seoul. They were dreading that no one will come because there was another KPop group signing at a different venue. They did not get the chance to ask who that group was because they were too nervous for their signing event.

 

They did not expect to be mobbed ten minutes away from the mall.

 

EXO-K and EXO-M members were scrambled together. Kris, who was also the leader, went with Chen, Lay, Xiumin, Luhan, and Baekhyun. He didn’t want to be stuck with the panicking maknae line, so he did the noblest thing ever—he ran with the hyung line and went in the first van. So, Suho was left with comforting the nervous Kai and Sehun, distracting the fidgeting Kyungsoo and Chanyeol, and calming the panda known as Tao.

 

How unfortunate for Suho to experience Tao slipping into a panic mode that is too extreme for the normally calm leader. He was almost done with Tao, making promises that he’ll buy whatever he wants to eat for a week and that he’ll clean Tao’s room. That should’ve been enough because Suho doesn’t clean s’ rooms.

 

Tao nodded in acquiescence. He was about to thank his hyung when the disaster was unleashed.

 

Sasaengs.

 

Tao had the illogical fear of being eaten by zombies alive. Imagine the scene of hundreds of fans piling up the car, almost pushing it upside down, and screaming at their oppas to show their faces.

 

Suho can’t blame s for flipping off. They were scared, nervous, and frantic enough as it is.

 

Tao screamed and screamed, making Kai, Sehun, and Kyungsoo to scream as well, gripping the seat in front of them and muttering pleas of salvation under their breaths as the van shook relentlessly. Chanyeol, who doesn’t get scared easily, just fidgeted in his seat, kicking the back of Suho’s seat repeatedly.

 

Suho developed wrinkles.

 

“Tao! Calm down, maknae! They’re just fans!”

 

Tao was inconsolable, almost sobbing and pleading for the shaking to stop. Suho was out of his wits. He begged the driver to go faster but the driver was helpless because he can’t just run over the people blocking his way. He told the panicking leader that security is on his way but they’re also blocked by the fans surrounding the first van.

 

“Kai! Sehun! Help me with Tao!”

 

Even with the help of everyone in the van, Tao was still scared. To make matters worse, the van was visibly shaking side to side and was barely moving through the mass of fans. Their screams echoed in the van, which did not help Suho’s dilemma.

 

After half an hour of utter chaos and earsplitting shrieking from one terrified panda, they were able to park in the VIP section of the mall. They met with Kris and the others, who were trying to be sorry for Suho’s newly developed frown lines but were too relieved not to be in the exhausted leader’s shoes.

 

In solidarity for their maknae and slight fear of their leader’s reaction, they chose not to say anything about the van incident or comment about Suho’s signs of aging.

 

The signing event went smoothly except for the sasaengs fans that made small scenes of declaring unwavering passion to some members of the group, to those specific members’ horror. Suho, being the good leader that he is, asked their manager for him to be seated next to the subdued Tao so that he can watch over him. Tao was gracious throughout the event, smiling and greeting his fans as if nothing happened. The only telltale sign of his panic was the slight shudder he did as the security handled the sasaengs away from the signing event.

 

“Tao, I love you! I will marry you! And I will adore your most precious body in the most intimate way possible—“

 

“Miss, we’ll you out of the event.”

 

“Tao oppa, remember my face for I will watch over you forever!”

 

Tao was emotionless, but he clenched Suho’s arm so tight he lost all feeling on the limb.

 

After the event, they all sighed in relief and hastily grabbed their pens and the fans’ gifts as they hightailed away from the traumatizing event they just went into.

 

Suho grabbed Tao and reached his shoulders to put an arm around them as he whispered promises to buy him a new pair of shoes and “well done, Tao!” under his breath. The others were laughing and joking with each other, light and free, as they went to their vans.

 

Light and free indeed. There must be someone up there who hates EXO with their utmost being.

 

“Tao, a promise is a promise. So what do you want to eat?”

 

Tao’s tired gaze met Suho’s. “Can we just have takeout?”

 

Suho smiled. “Ne, maybe that newly opened Japanese restaurant two blocks away from the dorm?”

 

“Kamsahamnida, Suho hyung!”

 

Suho patted his back. “No problem. It’s the least I could do for you—“

 

“Suho hyung! Sasaengs! They’re coming!”

 

They all turned so fast their necks almost broke off from their spine. Suho was surprised and frightened as he saw a terrifying scene being reenacted right before his eyes: a horde of stiletto-wearing girls were running towards him, brandishing their pens and posters like pitchforks ready to skewer their enemies to death. The girl at the front was standing tall and proud, a metal pole with something unidentifiable hanging at the top. With a closer look, he gulped.

 

Boxers.

 

It’s for the betterment of EXO if we stay alive and sane, they thought as one.

 

They ran away, separating from the group as they let the security handle the oncoming slaughter that will be committed if they leave their pitiful selves behind. Suho was the last to run and he was filled with panic as he realized that the others were nowhere to be seen. Even Tao.

 

Tao, who was easily frightened by the extraordinary, in which this case the invasion of sasaengs is considered, was Suho’s first priority.

 

Suho ran and ran, thanking his fitness instructor for making him fit and healthy despite the curses and death-by-strangulation threats that he uttered as the sadistic trainer forced him to do interval trainings after hours of workout. Maybe the sadistic trainer wasn’t as evil as he thought. He’s still alive and running, isn’t he?

 

Suho promised to himself that his trainer would receive an expensive gift the next time he sees him.

 

He was still running away from the group of sasaengs who broke off from the horde and doggedly pursued him, even if he tried to lose them with his ninja moves and camouflage superpowers. He tried to find the panda, but to no avail. Suho hoped with every bit of goodness in him, that s are alive and well.

 

I promise I would treat the whole group if we get out of this, alive, Suho thought.

 

He prayed that his unspoken promise of free food would be felt by the others and push them to run faster.

 

Suho exited the building and ran towards the parking lot.

 

There was no van.

 

His nightmare slowly coming through, he ran around, hoping to see the van or any one of s, but his search was hopeless. He could give up and let them catch him. But then Kris’ stern face told him not to quit running and to find another way, dammit!

 

Filled with adrenaline, he ran away from the mall and took a well-deserved breath as he pulled his hoodie up and blended with the crowd.

 

Suho found it very difficult to walk with his head down because he kept bumping into other people who were not as patient as they should be. They muttered curses, some even yelling, as he apologized and hastily walked away from the mall.

 

“No! Where’s Suho oppa?”

 

Suho almost froze but caught himself at the last moment. Suho was relieved and terrified as he eavesdropped on the conversation of three girls. One of them was on her cellphone, yelling at the caller on the other side. This is dangerous, he thought. But he had to know if s had escaped or were still in the mall.

 

“He’s gone but how’s that possible? He’s supposed to be in the mall!”

 

“Aniyo—we didn’t see their vans come out—“

 

Suho’s day was turning into a disaster. s were still in the mall, while he’s outside. He can just call a taxi and get away from this madness. His wallet was with him, anyway.

 

Tao’s thankful expression appeared on his mind and he made a decision.

 

He won’t go, not without all of s with him.

 

Suho was about to turn away when someone bumped into him hard, causing his hoodie to fall back.

 

“Yah! It’s Suho oppa! Suho oppa!”

 

Suho ran as fast as he could. He pushed his way into the crowd, modesty and respect be damned. His life is on the line here for crying out loud! With that thought drumming in his head, he grabbed the nearest unlocked bike that he saw, hastily leaving a wad of cash on the floor. He pedaled as hard as he could, doing never-before-seen stunts on a bike, turning sharply in the alley to his right as he avoided the incoming cars.

 

For one crazy moment, he wondered if he’s more suited in cycling than being an idol.

 

He looked at the mirror of the bike and breathed deeply. There was no one following him for now.

 

Suho was too preoccupied with his relief that he did not see a girl crossing the street. It was too late when he bumped his shoulder and fell from the bike. The girl fell on her back, her bag a few paces behind her. Suho ran towards the fallen person, pushing a hand to help her out. A small hand grasped his tightly, almost making him unbalanced, as she pulled herself up.

 

“Oh no! Mianhe, mianhe! I didn’t mean to—“

 

The sunglasses that she wore were gone, making her face recognizable to the shocked EXO leader.

 

Heck, he’d recognize her face anywhere.

 

Suho could do nothing but kneel and bow at the girl, trying to calm his heart in the process.

 

“Omo! Sandara-sunbaenim! Mianhe, I didn’t mean to run you over! Are you okay? Do you have any wounds or bruises? Did I hit your face? Oh no! Tell me I didn’t! Chanyeol will torture me once he finds out I almost killed his precious bias! SM Sajangnim will have my head once Mr. YG finds out I damaged his pretty visual’s face and sues SM over physical abuse and murder! Oh the controversy! My life is forfeit already and I haven’t had the chance to make Kris clean my room—“

 

“Yah, Suho-ssi, you better calm down before someone hears your secrets.”

 

Suho felt his face burning as she cupped both his cheeks and smiled kindly at the panicking leader. He felt her soft hands and smelled her sweet and citrusy scent. His face, if it’s even possible, turned an alarming shade of red.

 

Sandara-sunbaenim squeezed his cheeks once and let go, much to his surprise and disappointment. She walked towards the end of the alley and looked around. She turned to me. “All clear. You better come with me, Suho-ssi. Before your sasaengs find your body.”

 

Suho’s jaw dropped. “What—How did you—?”

 

“You mean the sasaengs? It’s obvious really. Hottest male group equals most rabid sasaengs. Doesn’t take a genius to put it together.”

 

Suho nodded shyly. “Ne, sunbaenim. I was running away from them.”

 

Then he remembered s’ plight.

 

Suho, in a moment of pure idiocy and desperation, grabbed the girl’s arm and kneeled in front of her. “Sunbaenim, please help me find my members! We were divided when the sasaengs attacked and I don’t know what happened to them. Please help me find them! I beg of you and your beautiful kindness to help this weary EXO leader to save his hyungs, maknaes, and a frightened panda from the claws of evil sasaengs—“

 

She was shocked by the sudden action but nodded in agreement. Together, they exited the alleyway, sneaking around the stores and boutiques to avoid curious gazes, and went into an open parking lot, momentarily thanking their luck that no other car was parked except for the eye-catching and frankly recognizable White Range Rover. Suho tried to sit in the back but his sunbaenim was adamant that he sits in the front—with her.

 

His red face did not diminish as he told the name of the mall they were doing a signing event in. Suho was speechless when she told him to address her as Dara noona, not sunbaenim, because their brush-with-death meeting was enough for them to not be so formal with each other. Suho agreed after that and told the smiling girl to call him by his name.

 

My face won’t be the same again, he thought as he shyly glanced at his preoccupied noona.

 

“Ne, Suho, is that—?”

 

Suho could only yell in delight as he saw Kris, Luhan, Baekhyun, Kai, and Tao hiding behind a large column. Dara noona drove slowly behind the parked cars so as not to alert the group of fans searching the parking lot.

 

Baekhyun was the first to notice the Range Rover approaching them and his heart jumped on his throat. The media is here! This will be a huge mess! The EXO main vocal thought as he harshly grabbed his hyungs’ shoulders to make them face their doom.

 

The EXO members almost yelled when their beloved leader jumped down the Range Rover and crouched low as he made his way to them. Hugs and smiled were exchanged as Suho asked where the others were.

 

Kris nodded. “Manager-nim called Luhan hyung. He managed to get the others near the department store. He told us to find a way out undetected because the driveway’s blocked by sasaengs watching out for SM vans. He’s now doing damage control with SM Sajangnim in stalling the media and finding the perpetrators of the mess.”

 

Suho, relieved, urged them to come with him. They were too tired to be hesitant and cautious when the Range Rover’s lights blinked once. They piled up the car, with Kai and Baekhyun at the back, and Kris, Luhan, and Tao in the middle.

 

Suho climbed up the passenger seat. His heart was beating loudly as the group of sasaengs got closer to their car.

 

“Uh, Suho hyung—“

 

“Not now, Tao.”

 

“But—but she’s—“

 

Suho was nervous. He didn’t know what to do now. There was only one way to exit the parking lot and they’ll be passing them. Their phones were brought out and just one picture of the famous Range Rover of the Sandara Park will bring his Dara noona into the scandal. He owed her for saving them, and the least he can do was keep her out of the spotlight.

 

Suho turned to her. “It’s okay we’ll just go down, Dara noona—“

 

He heard gasps from s.

 

Dara noona stared at him in disbelief. “Aish! Are you out of your mind, Suho? You don’t know how crazy sasaengs can be—you’ll be the eye of the spotlight for months and that won’t be beneficial to your upcoming comeback.”

 

Dara noona’s hands tightened on the steering wheel. “We’ll just have to do what we must do.”

 

Suho was apprehensive by the determined note in her voice. “Dara noona?”

 

She smiled at the EXO leader, causing him to blush, and turned towards the back. “Ne, EXO, how adverse are you to high speed chasing?”

 

The EXO members stared at the smile that blossomed on the face of Sandara Park, disarmed by the beauty of her face. She smiled once more and turned towards the front.

 

They could only gape in astonishment as the most beautiful girl they had the fortune to meet stepped on the gas pedal and high-tailed away from the screaming fans. Being in the front seat, Suho yelped as noona drove like a hero, or a madman in Suho's case, being chased by the bad guys. Dara noona looked at the rearview mirror and bit her lips, suddenly worried about something.

 

They soon found out why.

 

Kai, who was looking behind them, shouted, “They’re in cars!”

 

Suho swiftly turned around to look.

 

Lo and behold, sasaengs—in cars.

 

The lives of KPop idols just got more treacherous.

 

Dara noona saw the panic in the EXO members and drove faster. Her private life is also in danger if they get close to take a picture of her car. She went into autopilot, swerving sharply around corners, hastily changing lanes as if it’s going out of style, and chasing after the orange light just before it turns red.

 

Suho could only yell directions at her in an alarming high-pitched voice. “Left! Third intersection right! Left! Left!”

 

The visual of 2ne1 was good at listening to quick instructions, never making a mistake in the turns. She sometimes improvises when she sees a better opportunity to lose their sasaeng trail, but she never falters in their direction.

 

Soon enough, she parked two blocks away from their dorm, hidden behind two delivery trucks, and cut the ignition off.

 

She pulled her seatbelt off as she turned around to face the shocked EXO members. Dara noona laughed. “Thank you for riding the Santoki Extreme Sasaeng Ride.”

 

Silence.

 

Her expression turned guilty. “Ah, mianhe, that was an awful joke. I apologize for giving you guys a fright. I—I just thought that you would want to escape.”

 

Silence.

 

Then pandemonium.

 

“Omo! Dara sunbaenim! You drive like a professional!”

 

“You are awesome, sunbaenim!”

 

“Are you a racer by chance, sunbaenim?”

 

“You are so my ideal girl, Dara noo—I mean, sunbaenim!”

 

“Will you marry me, my beloved heroine, please?”

 

Suho had enough. “Yah! Tao! She’s a sunbaenim!“

 

“It’s alright. You all can call me Dara noona.”

 

The EXO members were so ecstatic they were jumping on their seats like a kids on sugar rush. The hyungs of the group were more dignified, preferring to just smile and stare intensely at the goddess that saved them. They thanked her as they went out of the car. Kris, the ever-stoic leader of EXO-M, smiled at Dara noona and invited her to their dorm.

 

Dara was hesitant to enter a male’s dorm, more especially an SM male dorm, but the EXO members were nothing if not persistent and hardheaded. In a joint effort of Kai, Tao, and, to their surprise, Baekhyun, they managed to convince their Dara noona to visit their dorm and check on the others because their hyungs were hopeless in first-aid and they need someone nice, kind, and very beautiful to comfort them from the traumatic experience.

 

Kris looked affronted at the hopeless comment but he can’t deny the appeal of having their goddess and savior in their dorm as they do her every command.

 

They sneaked in the back door and climbed the stairs. As soon as they reached the dorm, they heard shouts inside. Suho was the first who entered and was welcomed by the sight of a crying Chen, Chanyeol, and Kyungsoo. Xiumin and Lay were seated on the couch, rubbing their temples and pinching their noses. Sehun was leaning on the kitchen doorway, talking to someone on the phone.

 

At the sight of the other six members of EXO, Chen, Chanyeol, and Kyungsoo ran towards him and hugged the stuffing out of the breathless Suho and proceeded to squeeze the others.

 

“Luhan hyung, Kris hyung, we missed you!”

 

“I thought the sasaengs got you, Kai! Baekhyun, your collar’s not fixed! And Tao, you’re—blushing? Why are you blushing?”

 

“Thank you, Magic Spoon, for granting my wish and bringing back Suho hyung from the dead.”

 

Suho pushed the three members away. “Yah! I’m not yet dead! But that’s not what I need to tell you—we have a visitor.”

 

“Visitor?”

 

Suho went out and pulled the shy girl into the room. As soon as she was seen, objects were dropped from unfeeling hands. Jaws were dropped from their hinges. Eyes bugged out from their sockets.

 

Hearts started to beat rapidly.

 

Redness started to creep up their cheeks and ears.

 

She shyly raised a hand. “Annyeonghaseyo EXO, 2ne1’s fresh vocal and visual, Park Sandara-imnida. Nice to meet you.”

 

Fanboys fainted.