Chapter Five: Baekhyun to the Rescue!

 

“Argh! Why are we assigned to get groceries, again? Why not Kris-ge? At least with Kris-ge, there’s a spaceship to deliver the goods to ‘Satansoo’! Or Xiumin hyung! He can use his strength to muscle his way back to SM!”

 

Baekhyun is EXO-K’s resident martial artist. At a young age, he was taught the value of respect, courage, focus, excellence, and discipline. Because of the intensive training, he was one of the few members of EXO who can shoulder the burden of a talkative Tao for a long time. Suho, Kris, Lay, and Luhan could last as well—if there’s an incentive. But they’re too much preoccupied with sulking/playing darts with collaged faces of Dara noona’s fanboys.

 

Baekhyun eyed the bouncing Tao beside him.

 

Out of all the members of EXO, only Baekhyun, and to their surprise, Chanyeol, were the least affected by their hyungs’ actions. Kyungsoo reported that they were going to a photo shoot, at half past six. They accepted the reason, eating their breakfast peacefully. It was a quiet morning—the hyung line was not present and both leaders were gone. Normally, there’d be a mini coup d’état between Kai and Tao with the winner being the new leader of EXO but they were quiet, like they were anticipating the start of the end of the world.

 

As soon as he stepped into their chaotic group, Baekhyun learned to believe his instincts the humiliating way.

 

Chanyeol finished his drink first and turned the TV on.

 

And spat his drink on Baekhyun.

 

Breathe—that’s it. Do not kill the yoda before noon, chanted the irritated Baekhyun.  

 

With disbelieving eyes, they watched the other half of EXO walk on the red carpet, smiling at the cameras flashing.  It was a book-signing event by the famous Ku Hye-sun and there were a lot of celebrities present. And that included their sunbaenim Donghae, Dara noona, and the soon-to-be-dead EXO members.

 

Kai and Sehun were furious with their hyungs. They knew that those six idiots went to the event because their Dara noona was there and they were selfish enough not to tell the whole group about it. Luhan’s sudden change of attitude now made sense to the maknae of EXO—he got passes for a very closed A-lister event.  Tao, Baekhyun, Chanyeol, and Kyungsoo stayed silent in their seats, breakfast forgotten and mind working overtime for great torture ideas for the hyungs.

 

The after party was not aired so the remaining EXO members were left in suspense. After three hours the front door opened and in came six guys with displeased expressions. Kyungsoo saw the tiredness in their bodies but Chanyeol saw through them and knew there was more than exhaustion in their bodies.

 

“What happened in the after party, Suho hyung?”

 

Suho knew that the Inquisitorial squad formed by three nosy maknaes and three persistent fanboys would not stop until they got the juiciest details. He was tired and not in the mood to talk more than he needed to. Suho sat on the “seat of doom” and started his story.

 

Safe to say, EXO’s dorm room was dubbed “Danger Zone! Falling debris of Super Junior, BigBang, and SHINee deluxe edition CDs!”

 

Baekhyun was as miserable as the rest of s but he didn’t let that affect their stomachs. The cabinets were empty of food and Kyungsoo, much to his displeasure, was called to re-do some photo shoot so that left him as the only sane person in the dorm capable of getting some food and babysitting the most temperamental maknae out of the bunch without getting sidetracked by thoughts that included but was not limited to “Dara noona does not love me anymore!” and “Stupid BigBang sunbaenims!”

 

“Yah, Tao! Stop racing with the kid! Or you’ll bump—“

 

Toing.

 

 “—On the steel post.”

 

Baekhyun sighed as the kid stuck his tongue out at them and ran away with his kiddie cart.

 

The supermarket was not crowded with fans, thankfully. There were some adults and a few children, but they were the only ones in their age group. Baekhyun glanced at the surveillance camera and raised his sunglasses higher. Tao pushed their cart and piled the foods from Kyungsoo’s very long list. He sneaked a bag of chocolates and buried it under the cartons of orange juice.

 

Baekhyun put the paper inside his jacket. “Right. That’s it, then. We have to hurry because we have to fix the penthouse for Kris—“

 

“Hyung! We’ll make it! Manager-nim’s in-charge with the reservations for artists under different agencies and everyone in the dorm dragged Kris-ge out of the building to an impromptu shopping trip.”

 

It did not escape Tao’s hidden talent in deduction of facts. If the other EXO members were squeezing the money out of Suho hyung’s poor wallet, then only SNSD and f (x) sunbaes were preparing the penthouse for Kris-ge’s birthday bash. But the penthouse occupied the whole floor and it has a high ceiling, a sparkling chandelier, and a fountain in the middle, too. Even fifteen people couldn’t fix the room within the five hours. So, there must be other people helping the girls tie the balloons or whatever they came up with.

 

Tao frowned.

 

There were so many people in SM Entertainment, not counting SM Rookies, and knowing how Amber sunbae is close to being crowned Miss Congeniality, there’s a lot to go with that list.

 

And there are two names that Tao knew EXO would be hesitant. Heck, he was hesitant too!

 

SHINee. Super Junior.

 

Tao was upset with his SHINee hyungs—they’re the only sunbaes he’s somewhat close to. But he got over it quickly because it wouldn’t do him any good if his Dara noona found out that he disliked the people who worked with her because they liked her too much for his comfort. From the little time he spent with her, and Tao fully blamed s for their selfishness, Dara noona is a kind soul, a pacifist. He liked his noona very much so making her sad or mad is definitely unacceptable.

 

Then came the news of Donghae hyung. Tao was the kind of person who liked people just because he does. And Donghae hyung’s likeable, even if he knew Dara noona for seven years. He couldn’t blame the guy for being a friend to someone like his goddess.

 

But does he have to call her “his Santoki”? Like a pet name? Does she even look like she has big ears and large teeth?

 

You’re just jealous Tao. Admit it.

 

“No!”

 

Baekhyun turned around, eying him strangely. “What’d you say, Tao?”

 

Tao grimaced. “Nothing. Just saw a kid snatch a fish from…the sushi bar…and…threw it in the diaper section! Yeah, that’s why I said no.”

 

Baekhyun did not ask any further but continued to the cashier. The cashier was a curly lady in her mid-sixties. She was staring at us closely. Her eyes squinted behind thin-framed glasses. Cold sweat spread on their necks as they tried to adjust their mask and glasses.

 

“Weren’t you the one who ran in here just now, running from girls?”

 

“Oh no, ma’am. We just arrived here.”

 

“Oh, but I could’ve sworn you look like that boy. Those crazy girls were chasing him.”

 

Baekhyun and Tao exchanged a horrified glance. Tao turned to the lady, tone apprehensive. “Er, where are they now?”

 

“You mean the poor boy or the girls?”

 

Baekhyun’s concerned “the boy, ma’am” clashed with Tao’s alarmed “The girls! Definitely the crazy girls! Are they gone now?”

 

The cashier looked deeply disturbed by Tao’s growing hysterics but answered both questions. “I don’t know where the boy ran off to but the girls are still here somewhere. Looking for him I suppose.”

 

The cashier suddenly stood up and pointed repeatedly at the Exit. “There! There’s the boy—Those girls tackled him! Such unlady-like behavior!”

 

True to the ajumma’s words, a battle was taking place in the open parking lot. Masses of rampaging girls were starting a riot—thirsting for the blood of the poor idol surrounded and defenseless. It was ironic for Baekhyun, who was used to being thrown over Tao’s shoulder like a caveman and being tackled by said caveman to the ground like it’s going out of style that the sight of rabid, foaming-in-the-mouth fans reduced the martial artist into a frenzied mess.

 

Tao started pushing the cart away, dragging Baekhyun by the sleeve of his jacket.

 

“What—Tao! We have to help him!”

 

Tao’s eyes were wide. “Have you seen what happened? We’ll get mauled and scratched! And I’m wearing Gucci!”

 

“But he needs our help! Come on!”

 

Baekhyun used his bodyweight to pull the protesting Tao who planted his heels on the floor. Due to his height difference and sheer will, it was a lost cause trying to get Tao to move. Baekhyun just let the maknae stay with the groceries as he rushed outside.

 

It was pandemonium—no blood was shed but the sanity of the people was nonexistent as they mobbed the poor guy. He couldn’t see the face of the idol but from the flags, crown-shaped light sticks, and statement shirts, he knew one thing...

 

It’s a BigBang member.

 

Baekhyun was not in the mood to run, not after running seven laps around the compound for a “wholesome and healthy” training from EXO’s fitness trainer just a few hours ago. But for the sake of an idol being attacked by his sasaengs, he’d do it. He wouldn’t like it, but he’d save the poor soul.

 

Caution thrown to the wolves, he dived in the center of the crowd and pulled the guy by his shirt and ran to the supermarket. Baekhyun yelled for the security guard to lock the door as they ran towards a stunned Tao and pushed the cart out, causing mass hysteria with the other shoppers as they narrowly avoided them.  Baekhyun thanked Tao’s aversion to open parking lots as they went down the ramp and into the covered parking lot.

 

Suho hyung’s very expensive Audi car was seen immediately and the three idols grabbed the bags and shoved it in Suho’s extremely delicate and new leather seats.

 

Tao was silent as he stared at the side of—

 

“Phew! Thank you for saving me there! Thought I was a goner.”

 

Baekhyun grimly nodded. “No problem, Seungri sunbaenim. In times of great sasaeng invasions comes great unity between idols, regardless of entertainment agency.”

 

Seungri sunbaenim was the last person on Earth that they expected to be attacked. BigBang was the biggest idol group to date and they don’t lack in sasaengs and would never lack with that specific kind of fans for a long time to come. But the fact still remained that someone from a highly acclaimed group like BigBang and who must be very secured by bodyguards 24/7 was just attacked in a supermarket at eleven in the morning was scary to the two EXO members.

 

Tao was silent in the back seat. He was divided with the fact that a BigBang member was with them in the car and that the said idol was a member of BigBang, the closest idol group to his Dara noona.

 

 And if 2ne1 TV was as true and legitimately unscripted as they promised it to be, then the said guy was Dara noona’s favorite maknae from all idol groups.

 

Tao didn’t know what to think about that fact.

 

Seungri pulled his mask down and fixed his jacket, his trademark grin thrown at the two younger idols. “No, really, I owe you guys. I didn’t get your names, by the way.”

 

Baekhyun drove out of the parking lot, silently thanking his ajumma leader for being so overly cautious and paranoid that he requested the darkest window tint possible. “Name’s Baekhyun, sunbaenim. EXO-K’s main vocal.”

 

“Tao, EXO-M’s maknae.”

 

Seungri grinned as he looked behind him. “Oh, you’re the maknae, too? We maknaes should stick together against our hyungs, eh?”

 

“Oh yeah, definitely. For the fans and the noonas, right?”

 

Baekhyun glanced at the smiling Tao. He may not be as sharp as his hyungs but he knew what to look out for—trouble.

 

Seungri, clueless at the dangerous tone in Tao’s voice, laughed. “Yeah, definitely for the noonas. Man, last time I’ve had fans chase me was in Japan two years ago. And wouldn’t you believe it? They’re mostly Pandara fans!”

 

Baekhyun’s instincts were tingling as he questioned his sunbae. “Pandara? What’s that?”

 

“Well, they’re a ship name for Dara noona and I—whoa, careful there Baekhyun! You almost hit the bus. Anyway, it was a nightmare, honestly! They were chasing me because I did not greet her on her birthday! Which was so not true because I gave noona an epic gift a week before her birthday but nobody knew of our impromptu date, not even Chae-cat. No wonder the hyungs were so mad at me—they were mad because I forgot Dara noona’s birthday.”

 

Baekhyun was surprised to find his knuckles clenching the steering wheel to the point that he would’ve suffocated it if it were alive. He took deep breaths, confused and afraid as to why he was so affected by the turn of events.

 

Seungri and Dara noona had a ship called Pandara.

 

Why oh why did the ship name have to sound like a cute and fluffy animal? It was harder to hate something when it’s cute and cuddly, Baekhyun couldn’t help but scowl at the road, trying to ignore the passenger beside him telling his stories about his BigBang hyungs and 2ne1 noonas, specifically Dara noona.

 

Tao, on the other hand, was furious. He was the panda, not this ajussi! He should be the one with the ship name Pandara together with his Dara noona. His glare could’ve burned a hole through Seungri sunbaenim’s face but the BigBang maknae was either oblivious to the growing tension or developed too thick of a skin to feel anything less than physical contact.

 

I’ll make it physical you’d feel my fist digging in. May the best panda win, Tao’s frown slipped deeper.

 

“And then there’s Donghae hyung who always denies that he likes Dara noona but that’s a load of bull to me! He so likes Dara noona even more than Im Yoona but he’s just scared that Jiyong hyung and Seung-hyun hyung would tear his throat out and feed it to YG Sajangnim for breakfast—“

 

Baekhyun was a cunning person, even more so than Suho. After all, where did Suho get all the information for his blackmailing and bullying? He does not mislead people into giving him more information than what is needed. There was just something about him that makes people slip into their comfort zone and tell every little secret that they had. Most of the time, he finds it annoying. But not today—he knew how to turn everything around.

 

And it just so happened that he got an unexpected source of information from a hard-to-get but very reliable informant in the form of Lee Seungri, BigBang’s maknae and the biggest gossiper in the whole YG Entertainment.

 

Baekhyun interrupted the tirade of Seungri. “Ne, sunbaenim, you know Dara sunbaenim well, yeah?”

 

Tao just gave me a what-in-the-name-of-all-of-Chanyeol’s-2ne1-merchandise-are-you-getting-into look in the rearview mirror.

 

Seungri sunbaenim looked affronted. “Well? Just “well”? I’m her most trusted person outside of 2ne1! I’m just a place below MBLAQ’s Thunder and a place above Teddy hyung, which is an honor in itself because noona’s more awkward and shy on a good day than Seung-hyun hyung on a bad day!”

 

Hook.

 

Baekhyun widened his eyes for emphasis. “Waeyo? That’s so cool! You’re close to Dara sunbaenim! But, sunbaenim—“

 

“Call me hyung. I think we should be out of formalities by now, after all of the BigBang secrets and Sandara Park secrets I spilled. You wouldn’t sell these info to our sasaengs, right?”

 

Baekhyun raised his right hand. “EXO’s honor, Seungri hyung. So, you should know how many fans 2ne1 must have, right? Do they have many idol fans? For curiosity’s sake, nothing else! Just curious because I haven’t seen anyone fangirl or fanboy to them that much.”

 

Baekhyun fought the urge to smirk triumphantly as Seungri sunbaenim leaned in, eager to please the crowd with more gossip. "Are you kidding? They have so many idol fans that even YG Sajangnim is concerned! The idol fans just try to avoid showing it in fancams because Sajangnim is not afraid to bring up the topic with their agency. Sajangnim may seem aloof and creepy but he's more protective of 2ne1 more than his precious toy collection, which is saying something because those cost millions!"

 

Baekhyun chanced a glance at Tao’s confused expression.

 

"But Seungri hyung. Do you know any names who are legitimately fans of 2ne1?"

 

Seungri raised an eyebrow. "Legitimately?"

 

"Those idols who admitted that they like 2ne1, either in a public confession or in a private conversation, like they admitted it to you or you overheard them admitting it to someone."

 

Baekhyun was cautious at this point. His question would raise the alarms of Seungri. Any person in their right mind would get suspicious of the trail of questioning and would start sniffing on the very fishy smell. Names of those who publicly confessed would be easy to obtain. He didn't need anyone but Chanyeol's help on that. And knowing the giant yoda, he'd be ecstatic at the chance of stalking Dara noona's fanboys and getting their names for one of his lists, and most likely for people-to-tear-apart-with-their-jaws list.

 

But the private confession part would be the one to raise Seungri's alarms if him being a Dara fanboy is true.

 

Fanboys do have one thing in common: overprotectiveness for their bias run through their veins.

 

True to his nature, Baekhyun's expression slipped into a nonchalant one as Seungri's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Why the sudden question, Baekhyun?"

 

Tao was watching the proceedings warily. He didn’t know what exactly Baekhyun hyung was up to. But he was up to something. It was just a bit vague for him at the moment.

 

Baekhyun shrugged as he made a U-turn. “Curiosity. I mean, even SNSD sunbaes have their own fans that are idols and they’re not shy to show it in front of cameras. 2ne1 sunbaes should have the same, if not more, fans than SNSD sunbaes.”

 

Line.

 

Seungri did not buy the reason but he answered with more caution than before. “Well, 2ne1 does have idol fans, most of them are guys I’m not gonna lie. Some did say they like 2ne1 in TV shows and radio guesting but most of them are closet DARALINGs and they are all surprising, even to me.”

 

Baekhyun smiled cheekily at the BigBang member. “Oh, come on now, hyung! It’s not like it’s a big secret. Besides, nothing wrong with a lil’ bit of gossip now, right?”

 

Sinker.

 

As if possessed, Seungri grinned and cackled madly. “Ha! You’re right! Jiyong hyung would be spitting mad because I spilled the beans but who cares? It’s not like he has a big chance with Dara noona, what with someone like me, Park Hae Jin, Kim Soo Hyun, and Kim Jaejoong standing by waiting for the dating ban to end!” Seungri began listing the names of famous idols, idol groups, actors, rappers, MCs, and radio DJs, both Korean and international.

 

Tao felt his world crumble.

 

Park Hae Jin. Kim Soo Hyun. Kim Jaejoong. And a whole lot more.

 

The competition just got a whole lot harder.

 

 

 

 

 

The walkways were too crowded for an idol to pass undetected, but for some reason, Suho got what he wished—some time alone to think.

 

It wasn’t like he snuck out of his leadership “duties”. He just wanted to walk with the crowd, with no aim or destination whatsoever. Walking kept him calm and grounded. Sometimes he would drag Lay or Xiumin to walk with him and grab some patbingsu but they were too busy distracting the duizhang. He should be with s, pointing randomly at anything seen in the stores, but his wallet just got a beating from Tao’s Gucci and Sehun’s bubble tea escapade. Tao was with Baekhyun, buying the groceries for “Satansoo” and Luhan, Kai, and Sehun sneaked away from the group to coordinate with the catering service and Taeyeon sunbae for the surprise party.

 

The smell of the food market stalls wafted in his direction, tantalizing the suddenly hungry guy. He grabbed some churros and a pomegranate juice and sat down the stall tables, watching the crowd behind his sunglasses. He drank his juice in peace, a small respite from the troublesome world of everything KPop.

 

Well, it’s also a break from everything that happened in their two-week vacation.

 

The image of BigBang sunbaenims and Dara noona flitted in his mind.

 

Suho sighed as he hunched his shoulders in. He tried to be rational about his actions, his decisions, his words—he had to be because he’s the guardian of EXO.

 

But for the life of him he couldn’t understand why she throws all of his logical thoughts out the window.

 

After the disastrous ending of Hye-sun noona’s successful book-signing event, he and the others went through the grinder from the rest of the group. Kyungsoo was a diminutive person and often overlooked for the more dramatic people with explosive personalities like Chanyeol, Chen, and Kai.

 

On that day, he learned that people like Kyungsoo are the one to watch out for. Or just avoid them when they’re in a rage.

 

On second thought: just don’t talk about Dara noona’s fanboys in front of Kyungsoo at any time of the day.

 

Xiumin, who was used to being the strongest person of the group, could not believe his eyes back then when Kyungsoo made a dent on the front door. He was furious and he was within his rights to be furious. He was awake already so why didn’t we let him join the group was his ongoing tirade for five hours straight.

 

Suho felt like he was watching the birth of the Guinness World Record for the longest non-stop tirade on the reason why said record holder should have been let on in the secret so he could’ve had the chance to be with his beloved noona and let his alter ego “Satansoo” out to play with their newest and third frenemy, BigBang, with Donghae hyung being the second.

 

Baekhyun and Tao were disappointed they weren’t able to wake up early and bully their Luhan hyung into making them join the fun. By disappointed Suho meant bawling their eyes out and repeatedly asking for compensation in the form—compensation meant tackling the heck out of that person—of Dara noona’s number from a stressed out Luhan and another Gucci polo and a new set of metallic eyeliners in the next EXO promotions from a resigned Kris.

 

Chanyeol, Kai, and Sehun sang a different tune. They weren’t as easily distracted with the news of Dara noona also being in the book signing and after party.

 

They were too sharp for that.

 

The news of Donghae being friends with the 2ne1 visual was oddly expected but the closeness of BigBang to Dara noona was an unwelcome surprise. Kai and Sehun were deeply frowning in the end, but they had the mildest reaction out of the lot.

 

Chanyeol’s horrified face and the resulting tantrum about all of the competitions that he had to face as a devoted fanboy of Dara and the fact that his idol rappers G-Dragon and T.O.P kissed his noona was something Suho could not forget.

 

Suho checked his watch.

 

12:30 pm.

 

He met with the group in Grill5 Taco, the designated place that Donghae hyung wanted to meet. The news of Kris’ upcoming birthday was spread by Amber sunbae and Super Junior wanted to join in the fun. Luhan was contacted and the rest was history.

 

Because as soon as the name Donghae escaped Luhan’s lips did Chanyeol do a passable fainting act in the practice room. Sadly for the giant, the others were too stunned to catch him. Tao was vehemently against the meeting but alienating their sunbaes just because they’re jealous would burden their conscience once they meet with Dara noona again.

 

EXO, except Kris who is being kept out of the loop, was divided into two groups: one group’s side was “No way! Definitely no way!” and the other group was the “Noona will be disappointed if we don’t make friends with her friends. What would noona say if she finds out?”

 

Apparently Dara noona was the turning tide needed to balance the dividing forces.

 

As a result, Suho felt like pulling all of s’ hairs out. One by one. With sharp tweezers.

 

The restaurant was void of customers; the tables were pushed to the side to make way for the long bench table placed in the middle of the room. The meeting with Super Junior was the most awkward setting that Suho’s ever been in, and that included the time when his grandmother wanted him to have a date with his pretty but toxic classmate, who ironically was a leader of his fan club back in his hometown, in front of the whole family.

 

Suho was uncertain if Super Junior sunbaes were too caught up in the excitement of celebrating one of their hoobae’s birthday or the glares coming from Kai, Sehun, and Kris were not as intimidating as the three thought it was but the frigid air was too much for the leader.

 

EXO's guardian looked at the eating Leeteuk. “Kamsahamnida hyung for inviting us to eat together.”

 

Leeteuk nodded happily. “No problem, Suho. It’s quite rare for us to be able to eat with our hoobaes, what with our comeback just around the corner.”

 

Heechul interrupted, munching on his taco. “Yeah, well, it’s our birthday treat for the birthday boy. We’ll have fun later with the others.”

 

Kris didn’t look surprised and from the wince shared by Chanyeol, Luhan, and Lay, Kris must’ve forced the truth out of them. And with Kris’ special recipe of bullying—a teaspoon of persuasion, a liter of bribery, and a refrigerator-worth of blackmail material he bullied from a defeated Suho—the three wouldn’t stand a chance.

 

Donghae glared at the sheepish Heechul. Yesung was about to do some damage control when the waitress approached the group, flustered and blushing.

 

“Uh, sir. There are three people outside, wanting to come in.”

 

Donghae frowned. “But I told you to close the restaurant.”

 

“Two of them are from EXO—“

 

“Then send them in.”

 

“And the other one is not.”

 

Donghae stood up and went to follow the waitress towards the back exit. A minute after, shuffling were heard as the people outside crowded in the restaurant.

 

Suho was a firm believer of action and its consequence. He was hesitant in sending Baekhyun and Tao to fetch some groceries for a terrifying Kyungsoo but he had no choice. The others wanted to come with Luhan to meet Super Junior to be “friends” with the older group. Suho would’ve betted all of his money, possessions, and beloved car that the recently-inducted Dara noona fanboys just wanted to keep a close eye on their frenemies and win them all back.

 

A dartboard with an unrecognizable collage of the biggest male idol groups of Korea and coincidentally fanboys of a certain visual of the edgy group 2ne1 was a testament to “how close” EXO wanted to be “friends”.

 

What he was hesitant about was sending just one member with Tao. A supermarket on a weekday in a relatively unpopulated place was not a hazard zone but it doesn’t hurt to be cautious. After all, just a week ago they were mobbed in a rundown bookstore in one of the shadier parts of Seoul. The owner, a frail old man in khaki polo and fisherman hat, was not amused.

 

How could they know that he happened to be the real Mr. Miyagi?

 

The mob mysteriously disappeared.

 

And now he’s sending Tao off with Baekhyun of all people. Not that he had anything against the hapkido martial artist and with Tao being a martial artist practitioner himself but he had seen forehand how hysterical the panda could be when he’s mobbed.

 

Usually, he’d run away from all things related to sasaengs but then the unexpected newcomer was, well, unexpected and he had the strong suspicion that the one of the things he hates the most was at the center of everything.

 

Actions have their consequences.

 

Silence descended on the group until a tentative voice called out, “Seungri hyung?”

 

Seungri of BigBang was standing in front of them, eyebrows raised in amusement, as he bowed at the shocked Kyuhyun and the open-mouthed Super Junior and EXO. “Annyeonghaseyo, Super Junior, EXO. Lee Seungri-imnida.”

 

The newcomer sat beside a smiling Leeteuk as he engaged the BigBang member to a conversation. Leeteuk was the oldest of the group and with Seungri being an idol for a longer time than EXO, they immediately chatted off like old friends.

 

The other Super Junior members snapped out of staring stupidly and welcomed Seungri, pushing the menu to him and pointing out the best meals offered and asking him how he’s been.

 

EXO members were thrown out of a loop.

 

Luhan was sure that Super Junior did not invite a BigBang member, what with the entertainment agency issue and the difficulty of contacting YG artists. The odds of them getting YG idols to meet up with them are near to none.

 

But he, to his unending joy, had his Dara noona’s number. He still can’t believe his luck! There he was, moping on his bed after the gut-wrenching vision of Dara noona being kissed by BigBang sunbaenims, when a text message alerted him. With a frustrated sigh, he almost clicked his phone off when the notification blinked up at him innocently.

 

“Innocently” was an understatement; try the words “booming up at his face and tempting him to open the notification”.

 

Then Sehun barged in his room, saw him dancing with his arms up and doing body rolls, and then the blinking lights of the phone. The rest went down with Sehun screaming, “You have Dara noona’s number? Hyung let me have—ack! No! Get off me, Kai! Ouch!” and everyone knocking the door down and suddenly becoming football players and tackling anyone with hearts in their eyes as they grabbed the phone out of the fallen Sehun.

 

Months after the number episode and with Kris’ birthday looming ahead, Luhan contacted Donghae hyung and told him of the plans. And he discreetly told the confused guy that they were in charge of the guest list.

 

Which goes back to the fact that no one from EXO would be in his right mind to contact Super Junior sunbaenims and tell them to invite BigBang in the picture.

 

Cue mutilated pictures and broken CDs.

 

Leeteuk faced the eating Seungri, curious as he munched on a taco. “So Seungri…how did you meet with Baekhyun-ssi­ and Tao-ssi here?”

 

The audience heard a tale of valiance, honor, and bravery in the battlefield—a supermarket—against crashing armies of axe-wielding monsters—sasaengs and their crown sticks—battling hopelessness, fear and defeat to conquer another day. It was awe-inspiring to hear and the only things missing for it to be a blockbuster novel were the armored armada, damsels in distress, sword fighting, prancing stallions, rabid dragons, and wand-waving wizards.

 

Suho could’ve sworn he saw Tao and Baekhyun wipe away tears from being on the frontlines of the battle.

 

And the weird thing was that he’s not sure if they’re real or not.

 

Seungri nodded thankfully to a solemn Baekhyun. “Kamsahamnida, Baekhyun, for the help. If there’s anything you need, just tell me.”

 

“Well…there’s one thing I really would like to ask of you, hyung.”

 

“This is not about what we talked about a while ago, yes?”

 

Suho fidgeted in his seat as the foreboding feeling increased. Baekhyun’s smile was timid and shy, like he was hesitant to ask the BigBang member a favor. But Suho was not the leader for nothing, nor was he the person to ask for blackmail just for kicks. Most people know that the troll of EXO was Chen and that Kyungsoo had an alter ego that must not be let out into the poor world at all costs.

 

What people don’t know is that Baekhyun was a freaking spy in the making and he knows how to hide it.  

 

Baekhyun glanced at the confused EXO members and the curious Super Junior members and then met Seungri’s questioning gaze, shy smile betrayed by the cunning in his eyes. “Well, it’s not for me but for Kris hyung,” He ignored the startled look on Kris’ face. “You see, it’s his birthday today and I haven’t gotten him a gift—he wanted to meet 2ne1 and invite them to his birthday bash tonight.”

 

At the mention of 2ne1, Seungri’s face closed up, eyes squinting in suspicion as he turned to Kris. “Yah, you’re a BLACKJACK, Kris-ssi?”  

 

Kris tried to save his life. “What? No! Baekhyun was lying—“

 

Baekhyun kicked Kris under the table and ignored Kris’ pained “Ow!”

 

“He’s just shy, hyung, but he’s a certified BLACKJACK. After all, he knows he doesn’t have the right to ask this of you, even if you are powerful enough to make it happen. It’s just—“

 

What in the—? He’s crying? Suho gaped.

 

Baekhyun sniffed. “I wanted to make Kris hyung’s birthday a memorable one because we’ll be separated two weeks from now and won’t regroup until we start our comeback. EXO-K will be promoting here while EXO-M will be promoting in China and Taiwan. We won’t be together for a while and I wanted to make his birthday count. He’s nearing the ajussi age, hyung! And his wish to meet 2ne1 is slowly expiring and I just wanted to make it happen for Kris hyung!”

 

Seungri saw the tears and folded like wet paper. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Yah, Baekhyun, stop crying! Look, I’ll do what I can and ask if they have prior arrangements. I’ll call Chaerin right now.” He pulled out his phone and asked the details of the party from an excited Baekhyun. With the silence that engulfed everyone they waited for Seungri to finish.

 

After what seemed like hours for the tensed audience, Seungri turned to a shocked Kris. “Ne, Kris-ssi. Mianhe, you won’t get to meet all of 2ne1 right now. Chaerin and Minzy are in a photo shoot in Hong Kong and won’t be returning in three days. Bom noona is in a vacation in LA with her family.”

 

Suho’s eyes widened. Does this mean—?

 

Then Seungri stood up with a fist in the air, grinning toothily. “But then Dara noona is here in Seoul! Chaerin just finished calling her and she just finished a shoot. Chae-cat made a conference call and Dara noona said yes! She wanted to come and celebrate your birthday! It’s your lucky day after all, Kris-ssi! You get to meet a 2ne1 idol!”

 

Kris stood up and bowed at Seungri then at Baekhyun, whom he exchanged a smirk with. “Kamsahamnida Seungri sunbaenim, Baekhyun. My birthday wish will come true after all.”

 

EXO was rejoicing and jumping up and down their seats. They’re delighted at the news of their beloved Dara noona coming to the party. They were about to invite her but were uncertain if they’re coming off as too forward and pushy. Then the angel in the form of Baekhyun fell from the sky and granted their wish! And the best part is that they have someone from YG as back up if someone got too suspicious and SM Sajangnim wanted proof that they’re not sneaking a YG artist in the building!

 

Seungri caught the statement but ignored it as he patted Kris on the back and winked at the grinning Baekhyun. It was the guy’s birthday. He’s a good guy just making wishes turn into reality.

 

It was unfortunate for the maknae of BigBang that he had his alarm bells muted and muffled with a pillow.

 

Dara noona fanboys! Retract statement! Dara noona fanboy! Competition for Dara noona’s heart! And they're so many they're like a freaking basketball team! Retreat! Now!

 

Suho exchanged a glance with Luhan and Xiumin as they watched Super Junior coming out of their stupor, hastily whispering at each other and throwing glances at the grinning faces of EXO.

 

All Super Junior members were poker-faced, unreadable and quite frightening.

 

Suho had a very bad feeling.

 

This is not good. We can’t have another frenemy! Three is enough! And competition within EXO is tough enough as it is! Suho’s inner voice despaired.

 

He ignored the erratic thumping of his heart and the competition within EXO statement with dogged resolve.

 

He didn’t know what would happen later in the party but he’s sure about one thing.

 

It’s not just a birthday party.

 

It’s a meeting of Dara noona’s fanboys.

 

Suho’s aging lines just got deeper.