Chapter Six: A Birthday to Remember

 

“Kris hyung! I think Suho hyung is in a coma!”

 

Kris had to give the stressed leader some credit—he really did last longer than he expected. Unfortunately for Suho, the mayhem caused by s were adding up to his growing migraine and, to the wariness of EXO’s make-up artist noonas, his aging lines.

 

There was only so much he could take when faced with a Tao on his sixth crying episode because Kai drank his last bubble tea, a Kai on a sugar rush due to said bubble tea, a Sehun hellbent on revenge because his favorite Dara poster was soaked with an unidentifiable liquid that smells suspiciously like Chanyeol's unwashed  socks, a Chen cackling away from a vengeful Sehun with his Nerf water gun, a Chanyeol frantically throwing all his clothes in search for the best outfit, and a Kyungsoo on the verge of breaking down and crying with Tao on a corner because the food he made for himself was ruined by Chen. 

 

And that was just the start of the hour. 

 

When they are in a serious fanboy mode, the normally sensible ones in EXO were more hysterical than the normally hysterical ones.

 

That did not bode well for anyone’s sanity.

 

He glared at the locked room, cursing the three smart cowards that barricaded themselves from the chaos in the living room. He’d find a way to break the door later. He had to wake Suho up because he won’t be in-charge of everyone, thank you very much!

 

Lay locked his and Kris’ room and dragged his desk chair and Kris’ luggage towards the door as safety precaution. He witnessed Kyungsoo punch through a wall once. A door should be easy enough to destroy for his scary alter ego. Kris’ luggage, which weighs more than all of them combined, should be sufficient enough to stop even evil Kyungsoo on a warpath. 

 

Baekhyun and Xiumin were seated casually on his bed, as if they were oblivious to the mad people on the other side of the door. The two were dressed up in a suave polo shirt, denim-washed jeans, and sneakers. The two members were the first to escape the commotion and were smart enough to lock the door farthest from the living room, where most of the members were cooking up ways to “make friends” with the guys they found out to be their noona’s fanboys.

 

Baekhyun’s plan was risky but ingenious. There were loopholes and what-ifs in the plan, but it somehow managed to stay afloat. SM Sajangnim would never allow YG artists to enter SM premises without letting YG Sajangnim aware—too many controversies would come out of that and both CEOs would rather avoid the tabloids as long as they can. 

 

They would’ve invited Dara noona to come to Kris’ birthday bash but they were in a hot seat with their manager as of the moment.

 

Their manager was getting suspicious with the growing activity in their dorm. They were awake at the crack of dawn, which is impossibility at its finest. They were getting into more exercise and strength training, to their fitness trainers’ sadistic glee. Maintenance people sent reports of broken windows and horrifying, keening wails that sounded suspiciously of “Die, fanboys! Die!” coming from a certain apartment in the dead of the night. Financial reports of expenditures were mysteriously pointing towards gift shops, toy stores, and YG merchandise. Manager-nim was a rarely a suspicious person, but the invoices from Tao’s Sandara Park-merchandise escapade were too obvious, even for their passive manager.

 

It wouldn’t take long for him to discover their budding friendship with the 2ne1 member.

 

And that would be a terrible idea because SM Sajangnim’s rule in making friends with idols from other companies was to let him know first. Even before your members.

 

Meeting Seungri sunbaenim was both a blessing and a curse—a blessing because he cleared the way for the birthday bash and a curse because he unintentionally created even more traps for the wolves further down the road.

 

The defeated expression in the giant’s face was both hilarious and heartbreaking. Dara noona’s fanboys were no joke, after all. Chanyeol knew the consequences of liking someone like her—the sleepless nights, the pining-after-a-girl-who-doesn’t-even-know-you part, and the competition part. Usually the competition part makes the chase much more exciting. But they’re talking about Park Hae Jin here! Kim Jaejoong! And G-Dragon sunbaenim! And the whole Super Junior and SHINee sunbaes!

 

Lay sat down heavily on Kris’ bed and rubbed his temples.

 

Baekhyun raised an eyebrow and was blunt as ever. “You look like Suho hyung, Lay-ge.”

 

Xiumin watched Lay throw a nasty glare at the grinning Baekhyun. He wanted to pity the poor unicorn but he was mostly relieved. Everyone was a pain in the when they’re having a “Dara noona” moment.

 

That doesn’t mean that he’s not a fanboy—he’s just smart enough not to look stupid when he’s in fanboy mode. 

 

Their meeting with Super Junior sunbaes and Seungri sunbae ended with what Xiumin would loosely classify as “a subtle, vitriolic parting of mortal enemies”.

 

Well, Seungri sunbae was so clueless and slow that the baozi was certain the BigBang member was desensitized from all the glares he was getting when he told the story of how he got his Dara noona to agree to them paying the rent to an available condominium unit within their building for a month.

 

“—And you know the funny part? I was the one who convinced her to stay with us because she’ll be so lonely in their apartment! Jiyong hyung was so happy he made us breakfast every day of the month!”

 

Kyungsoo pulverized his taco shell. Just breakfast? He’d cook a feast fit for a king if he’d get the chance to be neighbors with his noona for a month!

 

 Xiumin saw the early signs of transformation of ‘Satansoo’ and kicked the owl’s shin none too gently. The others were too fixated with the story, half-envious and half-intrigued. The funniest reactions were from their sunbaes—who knew that Heechul hyung’s face could contort like that whenever Seungri sunbae opens his mouth.

 

Baekhyun stood up from the bed, avoiding the flying projectile from a stressed-out Lay. From the fateful meeting in the supermarket, their bonding moment with their frenemy number four, and the subtle manipulation of one of the biggest idol gossips he’d ever met, he was cursing the roller-coaster of emotions in his head. And he had the right to sulk, brood, strangle a certain giant with a shoelace—but he couldn’t muster a frown.  

 

He did it. He got his Dara noona to come to the party.

 

Okay, so it was Kris hyung’s birthday party, but he still had the bragging rights of getting the chance to invite her to a party for the first time. After Seungri hyung left the restaurant with a grin and a “Call us the details and we’ll be there!” the group descended into a tightly coiled atmosphere.

 

Their sunbaes were stoic but the intensity of the glares thrown upon EXO’s Eyeliner Prince made it evident to the wolves that they’re facing another pack of aggressive fanboys. Normally, they’d face the threat with hackles rising but Super Junior is of a slightly different kind and caliber. SM Entertainment’s princes, they were dubbed. Slicing them in half with the butter knives on the table and reasoning out that they were going to join a knife-throwing tournament before their next comeback would earn them more problems than solutions.

 

Oddly, Kangin sunbae and Shindong sunbae literally had to drag their members away from the table, leaving Donghae hyung smiling guiltily at the wary EXO members.

 

“Mianhe, EXO. They weren’t angry, just—surprised.”

 

Luhan raised an eyebrow. “Even you know how to spot fanboys afar, hyung.” 

 

Donghae sighed. “Yeah, well, most of Super Junior members are fans of Dara-yah. They’re just a little restrained with fanboy-ing in front of fancams so the focus won’t be on them. But they love that Santoki, too much really. I guess I can say they’re fanboys of her and they’re jealous that you got to invite her to one of your birthdays.”

 

Chanyeol resisted the urge to scream—for the fourth time in fifteen minutes. Seriously, how many fanboys does his beautiful noona have? He exchanged a wary glance with Kris and Chen. Baekhyun shook his head and lamented on the fact that EXO would never lack a competition when it comes to Dara. She’s just too unique not to have fanboys worshipping the ground she walks on. 

 

Suho decided to interrupt before Chanyeol decides to throw all decorum and composure and strangle Donghae hyung. He saw those giant hands curl together as if envisioning what a wonderful sight it would be to wring the neck of the Super Junior member. Donghae was smart enough to leave immediately, leaving Suho with the responsibility of curbing s’ desire to go on a warpath.

 

Everyone was silent during their drive home before Sehun threw the proverbial knife in the air as soon as the reach their dormitory. “And now there’s Super Junior. How many exactly are we dealing with here?”

 

After that comment, EXO began to destroy the dormitory and Suho’s sanity.

 

Baekhyun sighed as the doorknob gave way to Kyungsoo’s strength and everyone piled up in the room.

 

“Come on! We have to take a picture! SHINee sunbaenims just posted a picture and Dara noona liked it in Instagram! The fans are going wild and shipping them together! Tao, stop smelling Luhan-ge’s hair! Places! Act like we’re in a photoshoot!”

 

The revived Suho gathered s together for a group shot, ignoring Xiumin’s comment on his rat-nest hair or his ed shirt or his aging lines. Baekhyun was pushed to the side, squished by Chanyeol and Tao hogging the best spot for the picture. Kris, after some needling from an exasperated Suho, got the phone to take a selca of the group so he could post it in Instagram.

 

Baekhyun’s cellphone rang and a notification popped up.

 

Annyeonghaseyo, Baekhyun! This is handsomest maknae of BigBang, Lee Seungri! Just wanted you to know that I invited some friends to join the party! It’s a surprise for the birthday boy—shh! It’s a secret! Heard he was a fan of them! So we’re coming at around 8 pm. We’ll be in the van, parked a few blocks away, near the tea shop that you people like to go frequently. See you later! Fighting!

 

Apparently the BigBang member is too much of a gossip that he even knew where they frequently go to. Then his eyes zeroed in on the additional “friends” that were coming to Kris’ party.

 

Luhan saw the strange expression in Baekhyun’s face and came over to read the text message the Eyeline Prince received. Chanyeol looked over Baekhyun’s shoulder and noticed the not-so-inconspicuous text about bringing “friends”.

 

Oh, he had an inkling on who those “friends” are.

 

He had a feeling he’d be cursing bloody murder later.

 

The others piled up to read the message.

 

“This won’t end well.”

 

Luhan wondered how Donghae hyung was faring.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Eyeliner! I need eyeliner! Ugh! I need to beat Baekhyun hoobae in the eyeliner game! For Dara-yah!”  

 

Super Junior’s fish sighed as a flying shoe nailed Heechul in the face.

 

Lee Donghae doesn’t like to physically fight people. 

 

Well, except Eunhyuk. And occasionally Siwon and Yesung when they’re being “difficult”.

 

He’s a born pacifist, preferring to battle with words and not with chairs, desks, or Star Wars Limited Edition Pink Lightsabers. And until now, he’s still not sure where Eunhyuk got some tutorial lessons in wielding pink light sticks with prowess. Not to mention it was his first time to see the existence of a pink Lightsaber that releases webs of cotton candy with the magic word. 

 

Donghae didn’t really want to know where Eunhyuk got the toy or how he got someone to program the Lightsaber into saying a certain 2ne1 visual’s name in Darth Vader’s wheezing voice. 

 

Nevertheless, he was well versed in the art of bashing one’s opponent with sharp words and not with fictional weapons.

 

Too bad his “sharp rebukes and intelligent wit” won’t work with s when they’re under extreme fanboy-ing episodes.

 

“Shindong hyung! Please get me my Valentino shirt and my Balmain sneakers! They’re hidden behind the third shoe to the right of my fifth closet!”

 

“No! My favorite Chanel accessory! You threw it in the toilet? Argh! Kyuhyun, you evil maknae! Get back here so I can rip off your— “

 

“My perfume! Where the hell is my perfume? Wait—is that my perfume? Who sprayed it in the bathroom!”

 

Super Junior was known for their cool and suave personas and most of their fans, E.L.F, love them for it. After all the controversies and too long hiatus periods, they still stuck to them, as loyal fans would. Super Junior’s main vocal pondered on what would happen if their fans happened to witness the chaos that always possessed the members when Dara-yah was brought in the conversation.

 

It was a wonder they weren’t caught by fancams. 

 

Lee Soo-Man Sajangnim might turn a blind eye but YG Sajangnim surely wouldn’t. Especially when one of his “princesses” were involved.

 

He was one of the unfortunate guys who saw a glimpse beneath the cool façade of the CEO of YG Entertainment. It was just a glimpse, a glance by chance, but it left him terrified of the man in ajussi clothes and fedora hat.

 

He was waiting for his best friend near their dressing room, sipping on some soda, and basically just ignoring everyone passing by him in his sunglasses and mask. After the performance, he escaped by the skin of his teeth as Eunhyuk let the others know that he was meeting with their beloved ideal girl, Dara noona. Siwon grabbed his arm and Yesung grabbed something of his that would not be mentioned in a million years, but he escaped and led a goose-chase that ended with him being undetectable and s sulking in their dormitory.

 

He was right on time but the girl was ten minutes late so he was wondering why. The answer came in the form of a dragon and his minions. BigBang came out from the dressing room and he’s wondering how they even got there when he’d been waiting for Dara for almost an hour.

 

Maybe the boys were in 2ne1’s dressing room far longer than he was waiting. Or they have a connecting door to their dressing room. Somehow, that affected him even more.

 

 “—but Darong! We’re having a barbecue feast in Jiyong hyung’s condominium! It won’t be the same without you!”

 

“But I made plans with Hae-yah tonight and I can’t cancel on them.”

 

“Hae? Who’s Hae, noona?”

 

“Eh, you know Donghae from Super Junior. He’s been my friend even before I debuted—Whoa! Careful there, Tabi! You almost cut yourself with that soda can! Aish, these boys! Too protective of their noona! Don’t worry about me. Hae’s a nice guy and we’re just going to grab some dinner and watch movies in my apartment— “

 

“No.”

 

“Huh, Ji? What do you mean ‘no’?”

 

The argument that happened after left the Super Junior member amazed. G-Dragon hoobae began berating the obviously clueless Santoki about repercussions of bringing a guy in her apartment, one that is clearly NOT her boyfriend—

 

“He’s a guy, noona. It’s not safe for someone like you to bring someone into your apartment, especially someone like him!”

 

“Someone like him? I've known him for years! And what in the world are you talking about? You always visit 2ne1 apartments, and you even slept on my couch for a week when Dami unnie was pissed off at you.”

 

“Nani? Hyung! You slept in my noona’s apartment? How dare you? You knew I would have joined you in the sleepover with noona!”

 

“Shut it, Seung-rat! I’m G-Dragon and you’re the maknae and I’m fully entitled of being with noona and not you!”

 

—and going out with an idol, especially an artist from SM Entertainment, that he barely knew.

 

“But noona! He’s a Super Junior member! He’s in SM, not YG! You should date someone who’s not the enemy!”

 

“Like who, Seungri-​yah? Like you?”

 

“Wh—What? No, Bom noona! That was just a general statement and I clearly did not mention any name that is worthy for noona...Like, and this is a  hypothetical case, someone from a group that she really adores and a certain handsome maknae with good humor that will love her with all his heart forever!”

 

“Oh! Right! Sorry for the misunderstanding, Riri. Though you were referring to yourself but I guess you’re referring to Mir from MBLAQ.”

 

“Yes! Exactly—wait, no! Noona!”

 

In the end, the BigBang members were miserable as they left the room. Donghae closed his mouth lest they notice him gaping at their expressions. Instead of moping, G-Dragon took his phone out and called YG Sajangnim. The conversation was short but as soon as Dara-yah’s name and his name was mentioned in the same sentence, the call was cut by the other end, much to G-Dragon’s surprise. It must be a record when the CEO of YG Entertainment himself arrived in fifteen minutes, nostrils flaring as he listened to the surprisingly edited version from Seungri.

 

They did not notice him but he sure as well was quivering inside when the crazy Santoki argued back with YG Sajangnim and BigBang and left the room in smiles and everything nice.

 

She even had a small skip in her steps as she pulled his arm away from the backstage of SBS Gayo Daejun set, excitedly rambling about all the movies that they’re going to watch and eating her most-beloved ramen and muttering lowly about “stupid boys being overprotective of me” and “Why in the world would Sajangnim bring dragons in the apartment building? Dragons live in dens, not luxury suites!” while he was fearing for his life. Santoki​'s naivety, and manhood after that “oh-so nice” threat hidden beneath the CEO’s sweet words.

 

Donghae shook his head, silently anticipating the moment when s see that side of YG and BigBang for themselves.

 

Leeteuk, dressed casually in a beige polo underneath a black blazer, entered the living room and started shouting at Yesung and Heechul, both of which were engaged in a strange and quite disturbing fight/dance/chant to primitive deities that involved a can of Pepsi and Ryeowook’s eight giraffe doll. 

 

Kangin, in a white tux, was furiously scrolling down his phone with Shindong and Sungmin looking over his shoulder, frowns marring their faces as they stared at EXO’s Instagram post.

 

Shouts of “No! Stop copying me Siwon hyung!” and “It’s my style! Don’t copy mine!” were heard all over the apartment and Donghae realized with a snort that he was the only sane person in the room.

 

“Guys! Look at this! It’s Dara noona!”

 

Donghae had a split second to jump away from the doorway as a horde of rampaging rhinoceroses ran towards the entryway, knocking down anything that blocked their path. 

 

“Give me the phone!”

 

“Let me see, hyung!”

 

“Yah! Maknae! Get off of me!”

 

Kangin glared at the pile of bodies that was squishing him against the couch. Sungmin’s elbow was digging in his side and someone’s behind was on his face!

 

He pushed that person’s backside and glared at Kyuhyun’s Cheshire-cat grin. The incensed vocalist wanted to gut Sungmin for alerting everyone about Dara noona. He was not as vocal about being a Dara fanboy, unlike Heechul hyung and Yesung hyung, and he was not quite as angry with Donghae for being a “very” close friend of her and not introducing said friend to the group, unlike Siwon, Leeteuk hyung, Kyuhyun, and Eunhyuk, but he’s also a fan of girl.

 

Frankly, he had the mildest fanboy disease among the group, along with Shindong. True, he finds Park Sandara as one of the most beautiful faces he’d ever seen and her voice is so soft and innocent that her persona inspired him to passionately sing some of their ballad songs with her as his muse but obsessing over someone who doesn’t even know you is a bit too much for the heartbroken singer.

 

Kangin could only imagine how the rest of the group copes up with the so-called “Sandara Syndrome” when they’re higher than him in the contagious “Dara fanboy scale of fanboy-ness”.  

 

“Oh no! Dara noona’s lonely! Hae! Where does Dara noona live?”

 

“As if I’d tell you! You’d never leave her alone!”

 

“But you love me, right? You’d let me visit her? And support us once we start seeing each other?”

 

Enraged yells came from the other members as they piled up on the poor Eunhyuk. 

 

Kangin knew it was a futile attempt to dissuade the group with the small, tiny, miniscule tidbit that Sandara Park was part of YG entertainment and YG artists were notorious for having a more protected close-packed group than a pack of hyenas defending their prey against predators.

 

Which is a contradiction in itself considering the fact that said protectors of 2ne1 consist of a very possessive fire-breathing dragon and its equally possessive minions.

 

He remembered the first time they saw 2ne1. They were promoting their debut album backstage and meeting with other KPop groups in their dressing rooms. The first who entered was CL, the leader, followed by Park Bom, the lead vocalist, then Minzy, the maknae and main dancer, and Park Sandara, fresh vocal.

 

They were different from the girl idol group mold and they knew it. From the fashion, music, and charisma, they rocked their debut stage and Super Junior made sure to make them know that.

 

But when Park Sandara entered the room in her ridiculous hairstyle and bright smile, they were entranced—stupid Manager-nim interrupting them from inviting the girls for barbecue.

 

Kangin, for the thousandth time, ignored the voice that was rolling its figurative eyes at him, saying that they just wanted to invite a certain member of 2ne1.

 

Leeteuk smacked Kyuhyun on the head as he grabbed the phone. “Stop this nonsense! Stalking Dara won’t make her your girlfriend!”

 

“Plus, the only one that she’ll date here is me.”

 

Kangin could only just shake his head in exasperation as the maknae pummeled Leeteuk hyung to the ground, with Heechul, Ryeowook, and Siwon joining in. They were unbelievable fanboys— and most of the time, that doesn’t put the noise level in Super Junior’s dorm within an acceptable range.

 

Fortunately, f (x)’s Amber called Donghae to alert them that the venue was ready. It was seven in the evening anyway, so they all trekked up the penthouse in twos and threes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

SNSD hoobaes, f (x) hoobaes, and the organizers certainly outdid themselves in decorating the penthouse—dimmed lights in reds and blues overlooking the Seoul skyline, sleek cocktail tables surrounding the room with a classic cocktail bar placed near the exit, a small stage with complete acoustic sets and percussion sets brought by the staffers, a heavily-tattooed guy manning the DJ set, velvet couches in U-formations near the windows facing the middle of the room. They even opened the balconies, probably without SM Sajangnim’s consent, and placed some cocktail tables and a small bar stand near it.

 

It was a mini-club within SM Entertainment’s vicinity.

 

Leeteuk hyung began the tedious work of stopping the maknaes from drinking too much because a certain drinking disaster that happened during the Harvest Festival needed to be avoided at all costs. SM Sajangnim would ban their club guesting for life.

 

Yesung and Eunhyuk banded together and ran towards the highly-distressed DJ hyung, rapidly firing song requests that should be played in a children’s party. Siwon and the other hyungs went to the couches, grabbing champagne from a waiter who passed by.

 

Soon enough, SNSD hoobaes entered the room dressed in short dresses and high stilettos. It seems that red was the chosen theme of the girl group and they looked flawless in them. Sooyoung hoobae and Tiffany hoobae approached the DJ, greeting Siwon and Leeteuk along the way, as they were in-charged of hosting the party for Kris.

 

At half-past seven, f (x) hoobaes entered in their black ensemble, looking fierce in leather and tight-fitting clothes.

 

Fifteen minutes after and the room was crowded with idols, trainees, managers, and staffers.

 

No cameras, to the relief of all idols.

 

One of the restrictions that SM Sajangnim demanded from the event organizers was the absence of any media cameramen.

 

It was a closed-event because EXO was a highly-popular group and the birthday of one of their members would cause a stir in the social media and sooner than expected, hidden cameras would be brought into the picture, invading the privacy he promised to his idol talents. Controversy was the last thing that he needs and a remake of his previous talents’ departure from the company is a big no-no for the CEO of SM.

 

It’s also to protect YG’s princess-daughter from the sharks.

 

Not that the event being a closed one wasn’t included in the plan, but it wouldn’t hurt to bring up the topic once more to the organizers when only a few hours ago, he received a seemingly all-business talk with his rival company YG Entertainment’s CEO, Yang Hyun Suk.

 

Apparently, Lee Seungri of BigBang was too close for comfort with Yang Hyun Suk and blabbed about his planned attendance in Kris Wu’s birthday party. Yang Hyun Suk wouldn’t have cared less, but then Park Sandara’s name was mentioned in the said companions.

 

And the rest was history.

 

From the subtle “reminder” from YG’s CEO, he double-checked the security. Yep, he had five bodyguards, three bouncers, ten waiters, three bartenders, a spare DJ, the whole SM clinic, complete with the doctors, nurses, and even dentists, and his two, most trusted lawyers on the speed-dial.

 

Okay, maybe Lee Soo Man triple-checked. Maybe quadruple-checked.

 

His head was on the line here.

 

Lee Soo Man would not attend the event but he had Taeyeon, Tiffany, and Amber to keep the girls in check. He called Leeteuk, Onew, and Suho but their phones were dead to the world so their managers would keep the boys in check.

 

Fanboys, Lee Soo Man Sajangnim shook his head in resignation as he drank his mulled wine in his home, wishing Taeyeon and the other girls a fun night with no extreme fanboy episodes.

 

Well.

 

Ha-ha.

 

Kim Taeyeon, the leader of SNSD or Girls’ Generation, was staring at her hyungs in disbelief. True, her members “fan-girl” like the best of ‘em but not like the extremes that Super Junior sunbaes and SHINee hoobaes were going for. She heard things about having “fanboy episodes” and to be honest, she was slightly scared of what fanboys can do to each other.

 

She was busy coordinating with the DJ who, she noted amusedly, had the slightest crush on her member and friend Tiffany when a little trouble rose from the left side of the penthouse. It was Taemin of SHINee and Kyuhyun of Super Junior. Apparently, showing off how a talented person you were by hand-standing with no hands heavily implies that you are good enough for Sandara Park. Kyuhyun sunbae didn’t like that statement so he did the most logical thing he could think of.

 

Bring reinforcements.

 

And now four members of SHINee, with one slowly rubbing his temples, and eleven members of Super Junior, with two of them stopping a raging Yesung and Heechul from recreating a fight scene they saw in Mission Impossible, were gathered in a circle, matching glares for glares as they shot lasers through their squinted eyes.

 

And the party haven’t started yet.

 

To others, they looked like it was a gathering of close friends so there were no huge bouncers coming up to break the circle but Taeyeon was close enough to witness the competitive stances, tensed shoulders, and sharp glares to figure out that they weren’t meeting as “friends”.

 

But as rivals.

 

Sandara Park must be so special to have these men wrapped around her pinky.

 

She was not close to the 2ne1 member, but she would definitely want to if given the chance.

 

The DJ lowered the volume as Tiffany welcomed the newly-arrived EXO members and ushered a surprised Kris on stage for birthday wishes from s and sunbaes. Kris saw his SNSD sunbaes give him thumbs-up as he thanked everyone for coming to his party. He was a man of few words so he just gave the DJ the floor. Cheers erupted from the guests as the music level went up and many began to crowd the dance floor, while some went to the bar to drink or to the balconies to get some fresh air.

 

Chen was already holding a plate of food as he returned to their place, sitting heavily on the velvet couch. Suho and the others were off to somewhere and it was just Chen, Chanyeol, Baekhyun, Xiumin, and Lay seated beside him. “Wow, Kris-ge. Sunbaenims outdid themselves for your party, I’m kind of jealous.  But my party would be much grander than yours, with acrobats and lions jumping into rings of fire.”

 

“Lions? I think throwing all of Dara noona’s fanboys into the fire instead of lions is a better alternative, yeah? And the best part: it’s also animal-friendly!”

 

Chanyeol had a sweet yet threatening smile on his face that scared EXO’s troll. The EXO members turned to look at what rose Chanyeol’s ire.

 

Oh.

 

Super Junior and SHINee sunbaenims were walking towards them, face smiling but eyes sharp and calculating.

 

Beside Chen was Lay with his eyebrows raised. “How knowledgeable are you guys in the mandated law about committing cold murder?”

 

Baekhyun snorted. “Won’t be accused as guilty if not caught.”

 

Chanyeol and Baekhyun exchanged a smirk. Before Chanyeol could stand, Suho appeared magically before them, cementing the ongoing rumor that EXO’s leader and guardian had Dumbo-sized ears and retractable wings that appears whenever s get the stupid idea of bringing more trouble to the leader.

 

He was just across the room a few minutes ago, for crying out loud!

 

Suho could’ve lit everything on fire with his glare. “Don’t. You. Dare. Park. Chanyeol. Or. I’ll. Call. Dara. Noona.”

 

That seemed to do the trick. Chanyeol and Baekhyun straightened up and nodded grimly at the leader. They would’ve said something back, like “But you always stutter in front of noona. I dare you to call her now.”, but Leeteuk sunbaenim ushered s into the velvet couches, followed by Onew sunbaenim ushering s into the couch formation.

 

Lay noted the tiny fact that they were surrounded.

 

Great. Just great.

 

Min-ho sunbaenim glanced at the EXO members seated and the incoming EXO members who saw the commotion. He gave the duizhang a sincere smile, accidentally elbowing a glaring Jonghyun in the face. “Well, such a nice night, isn’t it? Happy birthday Kris hoobae! Wish you have a great night and a successful career!”

 

The sentiment was echoed by the others, albeit lower and grudging.

 

Min-ho opened his mouth, most likely to bash s for such a rude greeting, when Onew interrupted, voice uncharacteristically sharp. “Is it true?”

 

Chanyeol’s eyes narrowed. “Is what true, sunbaenim?”

 

“That Dara noona’s coming?”

 

Shoulders tensed, Chanyeol braved on. “Yes, sunbaenim. We are close to her.” He added to spite the SHINee leader.

 

Leeteuk frowned after exchanging a glance with confused Siwon. “I thought Seungri-ssi asked Dara-yah to come after you begged him to invite her here? It sounded like you haven’t met her before.”

 

Crap. Chanyeol’s face was blank but he was panicking inside. He’s not sure how much SM Sajangnim knew about their friendship with Dara noona and letting Super Junior sunbaes find out that they indeed knew the 2ne1 visual and tricked Seungri sunbaenim into making a clear path for EXO to spend some time with their goddess noona on Kris-ge’s birthday would ruin them in the eyes of their rivals.

 

He was saved by an excited Tao from getting eaten alive.

 

After that, he'd think deeper if he was actually saved by the panda or was thrown by said panda into the fiery pit.

 

“Suho hyung! Guess what I just found out from the security!”

 

“What—?”

 

“It’s Dara noona! She’s here with Seungri hyung, Taeyang sunbaenim, and Daesung sunbaenim!”

 

As if pulled by an outside force that only affects certain species of men, all of the self-proclaimed, closet, and in-denial fanboys all turned towards the entrance where four people stood calmly and coolly before the hundreds of eyes that fell on them.

 

They were the epitome of cool, with weirdly matching prints and colors. Seungri was chic in his black coat over a white button-down shirt with half the buttons open, showing his physique to the crowd. Daesung was fun and bright in his side-swept hairstyle, printed leather jacket and neon yellow pants. Taeyang was going for cool, punk, and all-around “bad boy” image with his sleeveless checkered shirt showing off his bulging muscles, huge chain necklaces, and sunglasses to add to the “bad boy” image.

 

But Dara Park took the attention from the famous members of BigBang.

 

She was there, standing in the center, surrounded by the three men as if they were her security unit. Dara Park was dressed in a lace black dress cut a few inches above her knees. Her slim neck and shoulders were complimented by heart-shaped neckline of the dress. With her hair softly curled and placed around her shoulders in an elegant twist, her make-up minimal except for the ruby-red shade of her lips and her eyeliner, and her dazzling smile, she was a beauty.

 

The fanboys seated in the velvet couches could do nothing but stare.

 

The DJ began playing a remixed version of BigBang’s song Fantastic Baby and 2ne1’s Come Back Home as he addressed the shocked crowd. “Yo! Yo! Yo! BigBang and Sandara Park in the house!”

 

As if on cue, the crowd began to get pumped up, shouting “BigBang” and “Dara”, surprising the newly-arrived guests with their enthusiasm. Grinning, Seungri danced his way into the dance floor with his choreographed moves, grabbing s with him as they cleared the dance floor and began an impromptu dance battle in it.

 

The crowd went wild when Taeyang jumped up the stage and got the mic from the stand, raising his arms up and singing to the crowd in English.

 

“Yo all ma’ people in the room, say my name! Say 'hey'! I can't hear you! Say 'hey hey hey'!"

 

Cheers went up as the crowd faced the stage, chanting over and over again.

 

Taeyang looked around the room and then faced the velvet couches, where EXO was seated in the middle of SHINee and Super Junior. “Just wanted to say happy birthday to Kris of EXO! Heard you were an avid fan of BigBang, that’s cool, man!”

 

Seungri and Daesung went up the stage, jumping like what Taeyang did. Seungri did some fancy footwork and grabbed the mic from a smirking Taeyang. “Happy birthday Kris-ssi! Told you my surprise rocks!”

 

Taeyang grabbed the mic again. “Yo, Dara-yang! Come up here so you can greet the birthday boy.”

 

The DJ was too hyped up as he played Dara’s solo Kiss. Taeyang jumped down the stage and put his arm around the blushing girl’s shoulder. The sudden movement caused Dara's cheek to touch Taeyang’s mouth. The skinship fueled the cheers as the crowd shouted hoarse for Dara and Taeyang. 

 

Dara smiled timidly and let Taeyang kiss her cheek.

 

The fanboys were horrified.

 

Lay wondered if that mandated law would be moot point if one is provoked.

 

Onew counted the time of skinship. Yep, that’s seven seconds alright—Taeyang sunbaenim is dead.

 

Heechul’s face contorted in a disturbing way.

 

Chanyeol’s face reddened.

 

Suho was lamenting two facts: one, he won’t be getting proper sleep tonight and two, Taeyang sunbaenim is tough competition.

 

Competition on what, he’s still in the dark on that one.

 

Dara went up the stage, captivating the audience with her shy smile, and grabbed the mic from Seungri. The BigBang boys surrounded her, with Seungri wrapping an arm around her shoulder, Daesung pinching her cheek once and putting his hands on her back, and Taeyang loosely pulling her body to him with his arm around her waist.

 

The fanboys were even more horrified.

 

Tao recounted all martial arts lessons and thought it was an enlightening way if he’d clear out all fanboys for him—oh, he meant for EXO.

 

Jonghyun recalled all his Dara information, which was a lot, and vehemently reasoned out to himself that he’s more of Dara’s type than that bad boy wannabe.

 

Yesung saw those hands and thought of the katana sword that he saw in a shop in Kyoto. He hoped they were on sale.

 

Donghae just sighed and texted their manager that they won’t be rehearsing tomorrow. And that he should put all the liquor away from certain fanboys—which in this case, every guy in SM Entertainment that was invited to the party—before a certain disaster that should not be mentioned again ever made a comeback.

 

Dara lightly coughed in the mic, earning awws from the crowd, before she started to speak. “I became friends with Kris-​ssi recently and I’m so lucky to get invited to his birthday. It’s your special day, Kris-ssi, and I wish you happiness, youth, and success.”

 

Taeyang lightly grabbed the mic, smiling gently at the rapidly blushing Dara, whose hair was being slightly mussed up by a laughing Daesung. “Ne, our Dara-yang’s too shy to speak more so we might as well start the party!”

 

The crowd cheered as the DJ upped the volume.

 

Ha, party.

 

Joke’s on you, Sajangnim, Taeyeon glanced at the frozen boys in pity. Fanboy episodes are just about to start.