6th October 2016

I know… I was wrong when I promise her that I will give her all my time after she come back from Milan..because after she come back from there, I’ve been busy with all the filming and other stuffs. And now, I’ve just reach LAX with a heavy heart. It’s good that I’m back at my own place, but the fact that we are fighting before I went to the airport does bothered me a bit

-Flashback-

I’ve just comeback from filming Ailee’s MV. It’s an exhausting yet enjoyable experience since I’m doing this project with my friend. But coming home means nothing since I’ll be gone to LA after this. I’ll be missing that certain someone for sure. Speaking of her, I haven’t told her that I’ll be going to LA. Should I call her? She’s probably sleeping by now. Maybe I’ll just call her when I’m already there. Besides, I think that’s the best thing to do now since I know how much she want to spend time with me, but look at me, busy with most stuff.. I try to open my door as I realize…. It’s opened already. Did I forgot to lock it? But if I forgot, Jackjack will surely come out and bark at me as a reminder to lock it back. Could it be her? But it’s already late… it’s 2.00 AM for god sake. I enter the house carefully as I also had to be aware if it’s not someone who I don’t know. I look around and saw her sitting on the stool near the dining table.

“Princess. What are you doing? It’s late already” I try to hug her but she just avoid it

“Err… what’s wrong princess?” I take another stool as I sit in front of her. She take a deep breathe before she stare deeply at me.. I start to feel uneasy with her stare

“Are you going back to LA?” Uh Oh… She already found out about it

“Look princess, I---” She put her hands on my lips, stopping me from talking

“Yes or no?”

“I…I…Ughh… Yes, I’m going to LA” She immediately stood up and want to leave but I hold her from leaving

“Princess… I’m sorry… I know I promise you that my time is yours after you come back. But I really can’t put aside this work” I tried to hold her hand but she keep on avoiding me

“Please princess.. I’m really sorry” I back hug her as she stood there,looking down to the floor

“Princess… please… I will make it up to you after this” I turn her around and hug her tightly. We stay like that for a while..I thought she had calm down, but to my dismay, she push me away as I fall to the floor

“Don’t… Don’t make a promise that you can’t keep” She glare at me. But I know behind that cold eyes, she’s on the verge to cry right now

“Princess” She stop me with her hand gesture

“Please.. Just go to anywhere you want… do whatever you want… I am not that important” She hurriedly walk away but I held her hand again

“Don’t go… it’s late already. Please… just stay here…” She keep on yanking her hand but I pull her into another hug. She keep hitting my chest but I just let her be. Few minutes after, I can feel my shirt dampened with her tears. I just rock her to left and right to lessen her anger. After a while, she pull back and wipe her tears stained face.

“Princess”

“I’m still mad. I will sleep here” she point at the couch

“No… you sleep on my bed… I… I had to catch a flight after this” I swear I see how her face frowned when I told her. She just turn around and slump her body on my bed and tuck herself with my comforter. I take all the necessary item that I need to bring and keep it in my backpack. I go inside my room as I look at her.

“Good night princess…and you are important to me princess.. I’m sorry..” I kiss her crown for a while before I went out and went to the airport with heavy heart and guilty in me

-End of flashback-

I’ve texted her before, telling her that I’ve just arrived in LA. But I think she’s still mad at me, since I’ve seen that she already read it but she didn’t reply at all As I walk out, I see my cousin, Leon waiting outside

“Yo dude..thanks for picking me up” I hug him

“No problem at all Am.. so how’s the flight?”

“Well it’s ok.. Like usual..” I smile weakly to him

“Somehing bothering you?” he pat my back

“Well… we had a little fight before I come here”

“Let me guess, you didn’t tell her you’re coming here?”

“Yes…I guess the fact that she know it from someone else pissed her off. Besides, I already promise her before that I would spend my time with her as soon as she come back from Milan”

“Am…remember what I told you before?” I just nodded. I remember all his advice before. He is one of my cousin that I’m close to. He always lean his ears to listen to everything I told him. He know how stressful I was when that dating scandal broke on that fateful day, but he never stop to give me encouragement and advice to always believe and have faith in her

“You know what to do right?” I just fist bump with him, indicating that I understand what he want me to do.

“Thanks dude. You’re always beside me. That’s why you’re my favorite cousin..hahaha” he just shook his head as he let out a small laugh

“Thanks is not enough. You better treat me tacos later on”

“Hahaha.. Then consider it’s done Leon. Where’s Wendy?”

“Well she need to settle some stuff today. I’ll drop you first at home before I meet her”

“Alright dude.. Thanks once again”

“No biggie”

When I reach home, I enter my family's residence. Since Jackie still working and my parent are currently at Taiwan, I'm all alone here.. I put my backpack on the couch before I have a quick shower to refresh myself. I run through the closet to search for my clothes, but instead, I discover her hoodie. Yep. The hoodie that she buy but she left it on my closet back when she stay a while after the KCON. I held out the hoodie and hug it. I don’t know where did I read it, but it says that if you miss someone, held their belonging close to you to lessen your missing. But I guess it won’t help in my case, since it make me miss her more. I slump my body to my bed as I held her hoodie tightly. I miss you princess~

9th October 2016

It’s been few days since I’ve arrived LA. But I’ve heard nothing from her. The only update that I had about her is from Hyun Jun oppa regarding her Keds fansign. I saw all of her photo yesterday. Damn…How I miss that smile. I was kinda jealous because her fans can see her smiles and stares with their own eyes her beauty, while me? I can only held her hoodie and sleep with it every day.  Some people thought the reason why I come to LA is because I had a problem back in Seoul. But that’s not the case, one of the main reason I’m here (except that I miss to mingle with Jackie and all my friend here) is because of work. I’ve given my word to Jeremy Thurber to collaborate with him as well as helping Formula Arts in filming new video. So, basically I come here solely because of work and spending time with my squad. I sigh deeply before I stare at her picture again.

“Damn I miss you so much princess…” I know I should’ve tried to talk to her since the time that I arrived, but I’m taking Leon advice now. I need to give her some time alone to lessen her anger and maybe after that we can had a good talk before she will talk to me again.. But honestly, it's suffocating me.. I really miss her... Maybe a text wouldn't hurt, would it?? I search for her name and start to text her

Heyyy.. I know you're still mad at your stupid here...but I really miss you... Take care wherever you are... I love you princess

I push the send button as I tap my finger impatiently... She probably sleep by now since we're +16 hours different right now... I look at my watch.. It's 9.30 AM here, so it will be 1.30 AM there... Ughhh she must be sleeping by now then.. 

*knock knock*

 I stood up and open the door.. It's Stefanie and Brian..

"Hey Am" Stefanie hug me and i just do the same

"Hey mrs. Benzino" she just chuckle lightly and hit my shoulder.. I fist bump with Brian, our style of greeting

"So what bring you here?" they look at each other for a while before they turn to me

"Am..had you forget? You had to accompany me to take some photos" shoot.. I totally forgot.. I guess I'm so immersed with the thought of her that I forgot I had to do something today

"Ahh..yes yes.. Sorry I forgot" I let out a small smile

"Are you ok?" Brian pat my back

"I'm fine bro.. Just thinking about something"

"Krystal?" Stefanie's turn to ask. I just nodded weakly

"Yep.. We had a fight before I come here and we haven't talk to each other since then" they just nod and pat my shoulder

"Now that's another excuse why you need to go out, to clear up your mind a bit" I guess I do need to clear my mind a bit...

"Alright..wait here.. Gotta change to something comfortable" I went to my bedroom and change it to a plain black tee and black short. Since it will be almost noon when we're going out, I better bring my snapback.. We went to random street for Stefanie's project as well as enjoying the environment around us especially me since it's like a bit freedom for me to go anywhere I want without too much attention.. Of course I won't ignore any fans that want to take a picture or anything, because they are one of the reason fx and I still standing up until today.. We have a good meal, good talk and my time is totally well spent, even though I do realize, at the corner of my mind, there's someone that I can't stop to think about. 

"Alright..right now let's get home..because we're gonna have some fun tonight!!" Brian exclaimed as Stefanie and I just laugh it out..

"Do you want me to pick you up Am?"

"Well.. I guess it's the wisest thing to do..since we're going to get wasted tonight" well, where's the fun of the party if there is no boozes involved..winkwink

"Oh yeah!!...be ready at 6 PM"

"Will do..see you guys tonight" I hop out from the car and I enter my house

"Hey my lil sistahhh" Jackie greet me from our living room

"Hey there original llama.." she just giggle with that nickname. I sit next to her as I join her watch the television

"Aren't you working today?"

"Well we finish our work early today, so I just want to chill and relax for now.. Where you at?"

"Well I accompany Stefanie and Brian today to do some stuff...mostly Stefanie stuff.. After this we'll have some party to wrap everything that we've done for the past few days"

"Are you ok Am?"

"Well yes I am"

"Bullsh*t... You can never lie to me Am.. Spill it out now" I take a deep breathe before I decided to tell her

"Well.. I had a little fight with her before I come here.. It's actually my fault since I didn't tell her I'll be going here. The fact that she know it from someone else might also trigger her anger" she just pat my back as I tell her everything

"Then..have you talk about it to her?"

"Ughh not really.."

"What?! *hit my shoulder before she scratch her head* why didn't you talk to her?"

"Because I want her to cool down a bit..after that maybe we could have a good talk.. I'm just following some advice here"

"And who told you that?"

"Urrr Leon??"

"That kid.. Ok.. I know he mean good, but you know what, you know Krystal better than me and Leon. You know how she's like a solid steel on the outside, but fragile glass on the inside. She won't tell this to you, but I think she want you too keep on bugging her to forgive you.. It's true, some women need to have some alone time to clear their mind, but you also need to remember, there are also some women who want their partner to keep on asking them whether they are ok or not.. And I believe you know she belong to which category. Besides I can't blame her tho, you already promise to spend time with her" 

"Alright..eh..W