After talking to TOP oppa I decided to go back to studio finding no one there. Teddy texted a while ago telling me that he advised the boys to just go home and rest. I feel so sorry towards them, I am ruining the making of one of their most important album. I feel like a walking disaster who keeps giving mess on Jiyong’s life. TOP oppa told me not to be sorry since he purposely did that to provoke Jiyong.

“I purposely did that to provoke him but he’s too tough! I thought he’ll tell the world what you both had way back when I provoke him but he didn’t. I don’t feel bad at him so don’t be sorry. I understand what he feels”

He said. I asked him to stop doing all of this to help me and Jiyong get back together but he refused telling me he wanted to do this for Jiyong. He wants to help him get back to what he was way back. I felt so guilty for taking their friend away from them. Each day I feel like I want to give up with the hope of me and Jiyong getting back together. Sometimes, I feel like he really want me back in his life but just in a few seconds, he’ll change and push me away. Throw me hurtful words until I feel so tiny. Until I feel so worthless in him.

I let the tears escape my eyes as I look on the mess we left in this studio. This has been Jiyong’s second home and I don’t want to take this away from him. I feel like, the more I stay here, the more he’ll hate the place since he wanted to take everything that reminds me of him away from his life. I don’t know what to do and I know, I am now holding the last string of hope I have right now. I am tired but I don’t want to let go. I can’t just let go Jiyong, not anymore. I am so torn, I no longer want to be selfish. I want to see him live his life again wether he wants me to be part of it or not. I just want the old Jiyong back for his friends and for him.

-

I was so lost with my thoughts that I was not able to recognize Youngbae’s presence. He pat me on my shoulder calling my name softly, I immediately wipe my tears away trying to think of any excuse I can say in case he ask me why I am crying.

“What’s wrong?”

He asked, of course he won’t just let me go. Seeing me cry is a big deal for him. Jiyong and Youngbae oppa are the closest to me among the boys, ever since I am new with the company, they were the first people to treat me nicely. They took care of me like a real sister or a best friend. Jiyong and him were bestfriends for so long.

“Why are you still here oppa? I thought Teddy oppa sent you guys home earlier?”

I asked trying to change the atmosphere but he didn’t answer as he sai beside me in the couch and stares at me like he’s waiting for me to answer his question. I look away and it took a few minutes before he speaks again.

“I was supposed to get the copy of the lyrics to learn it at home-“

He pause for a while getting some tissues and then giving me some of it.

“Now tell me, was it because of what happened earlier?”

He asked, demanding for an answer. I know Youngbae oppa, you can’t just hide something from him. He's the most calm among the boys, being the connector to solve any misunderstanding among them.

“Tell me Chae, what’s with you and Jiyong?”

I was taken a back with his sudden question and when I look directly on his eyes, I feel some comfort and my heart wants to just hug him and tell hin every single thing in my head like before. He's one of my confidants after Jiyong. He's a trustworthy.

“I’ve been observing since then. Jiyong changed a lot when you left. He became a mess and everytime I asked him why, he never answered. When you left, I feel like I lost him too. I lost two of my bestfriends in an instant and I don't understand a thing but the past few days, I feel like all my questions were slowly being answered. I want to know that truth”

He said, a tear tried to escape my eye again but I was quick enough to stop it by looking up.

“You came back, he became unreadable. At the bar when you came back, I saw you with him dragging you out, you look troubled and yet, you still came along with him”

I was surprised, I never thought that one of them sees us since no one dares to spill it.

“And now, TOP and him had a misunderstanding, I don’t want to think it’s because of you but thinking about it and connecting everything- I can’t help but think that it’s related to you. TOP hyung is courting you now and Jiyong look so restless.”

He looks at me and a tear automatically fell on my face. I feel the urge of telling him everything.

"Ji-"

 I started but stopped and then I feel his hand on mine as he looks at me as if he’s saying me to trust him. I take a deep breath before I continue.

“Jiyong was my boyfriend” I

saw his eyes rounded for a bit but his expression changes quickly like he was expecting to hear it.

“I am his bestfriend but haven’t had an idea about it”

He said