CHAPTER 16: CHANGE OF MIND

When I woke up, I was still lying on the office’s leather sofa. I felt my knees hurt, as well as my head. For a short moment I was confused. What had happened, why did I hurt? Then I felt the dried tears on my face and the memories rushed into my mind. I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand. Yikyung. She was a murderer. The worst part was that it wasn’t even that unbelievable. She was scary, and she was crazy. I had no doubt about her speaking the truth. Even though she lied a lot, lying about this was very unlikely. She wanted to make sure I knew and wanted to make it clear we were enemies now.

I sat up on the sofa and let out a silent yelp. My knees were aching pretty badly. I had probably collapsed straight to my knees before actually falling down. I glanced at Myungjun who was sitting in the armchair opposite to the sofa. He had fallen asleep. How long had I been unconscious? Probably for a good while. I sighed and attempted to get up silently. I wanted to be alone. At that moment, Myungjun opened his eyes. I couldn’t look at him but turned to look elsewhere.

“You’re awake”, he said quietly. “Are you alright?”

I frowned a little bit. “No.”

To be honest, I was angry at the boy. With what right had he listened to what was happening inside the office? With what right did he barge in and drive Yikyung out of the building? With what right did he reveal it to the woman he actually cared for me? Now he’d be put in danger too. My weaknesses were all revealed to Yikyung. The thought made me shiver.

“Let’s go home”, Myungjun sighed. “I’ll help you up.”

I didn’t refuse the help from Myungjun and let him place his arm on my waist as I got up from the sofa. He wrapped my arms around his shoulders to make it easier for us to walk together. We walked to the elevator slowly and silently. We didn’t open our mouths even once for the while he was escorting me back to the apartment and our bedroom.

For my fortune the apartment was empty – Miyeon, Bin and Minhyuk were all out somewhere, so I didn’t need to explain anything to them yet. Myungjun helped me sit on our bed and as I let out a deep sigh, he took a step backwards and crossed his arms on his chest, looking at me like he was studying my expressions.

“What?” I snorted.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, tilting his head.

“Bad”, I huffed, looking away.

“Are you angry at me?”

I was silent for a while, staring out of the room’s window. Then I slowly turned to glare at the boy. He probably didn’t understand what his actions might have caused. But that didn’t affect my mood, and I was actually very angry.

“Why did you have to do that?” I asked. “With what right did you come in?”

“Am I not allowed to defend you or my dad?” the boy inquired, staring at me.

“No!” I hissed. “You revealed you care for me. Now you’re on her kill list too!”

The boy’s stare softened a little bit and he stepped closer to me. “The building’s security measures will be doubled. We will be safe, so don’t worry.”

“Do you want to live trapped inside this building forever?” I asked. “I know Yikyung. She’s out of her mind, she won’t give up. We’ll be in constant danger. Before she didn’t know about you and your father being on my side. Now she knows. She knows people in this building are important for me. She’ll want us dead.”

“Why do you want to suffer alone?” Myungjun shouted out. “If I hear you being threatened or hurt, of course I’ll be there. If I didn’t come to the office the situation would have gotten out of hand.”

“You don’t understand!” I screamed. “Now she knows all of my weaknesses! I have nothing left to use against her, and my sister is trapped in those tunnels!”

“I know that!” the boy yelled back at me. “I just thought about you.”

Myungjun’s eyes were glowing with anger mixed with something dangerous. I could sense he was getting angrier every time I talked back to him but I was too furious to back down. For a short moment, we just stood there, glaring at each other. Our reasons to be angry were quite different but the feeling was probably very mutual. We just wanted to make things clear. Why was it so hard?

“No, you just thought about yourself”, I hissed. “This is all your fault.”

The boy took a step closer at me and I noticed his hands squeezing into fists. “Watch your mouth. This wasn’t my fault alone. That witch already knew my dad was on your side the moment you stepped into that office.”

The fact that he was right made me even angrier. I wanted to just scream my lungs out. “Shut up! I hate this.”

“I told you to watch your mouth!” the boy shouted at me, taking a fast step towards me.

I was about to continue, open my mouth and yell at him some more, but he muted me by rushing towards me and pushing me against a wall, trapping me in my place between the wall and him. I was too angry to even flinch at the ice cold wall but just glared at the boy defiantly before he dove in for a kiss. His lips pressed against mine so quickly and harshly it was almost violent. My eyes widened and I grabbed him by his shoulders, pushing him away with all the power I had, making the boy almost fall down.

I stared at the boy in shock, still mixing with lingering anger. Then I suddenly lost control of my actions and stepped forward, wrapping my arms around the boy’s neck and kissing him. I closed my eyes as he slowly got through the surprise and responded to the kiss. Our lips moved together so naturally it almost scared me. I ran my fingers through his chestnut hair and his arms were wrapping tightly around my waist. The kiss was passionate but still gentle enough for me to be able to back away as I felt the need to breathe some air.

I just realized my actions once I stepped away from Myungjun, breathing deeply, and my eyes widened. Had I really just done that? I felt my cheeks glowing bright red and I looked away, embarrassed.

“I... I think the two weeks were shortened to two days”, the boy whispered, panting a little bit.

I turned around and closed my eyes. I was so ashamed. I felt like just disappearing from the apartment, from the whole building. I felt Myungjun grabbing my wrist and turning me around. I stared at him with wide eyes, feeling my cheeks still burning from embarrassment.

“Why are you like this?” Myungjun asked. “It’s not like it was our first time kissing.”

Right. It wasn’t. We had kissed in our wedding, but it had been pure revenge. Myungjun had also kissed my cheek in the amusement park. But this was the first real kiss between us. And the fact that scared me the most was that it had been me who had pulled him into the kiss.

I pulled my wrist off his grip and took a few steps further away from the boy. “Nothing goes the way I want.”

“But things will work out in the end”, Myungjun said and flashed me a smile. “I promise. We will sort things out.”

I had my doubts. The situation had grown very big and dangerous. Yikyung had confessed her crime with such pride she couldn’t be fully sane. And to think that Chanmi was still stuck in the tunnels. She was truly in danger after what had happened today. I hadn’t felt this scared in a long while.

A couple of hours went by. I had barricaded myself into the bedroom, not leaving the room once. I was lying on the bed, surrounded by big pillows and on the nightstand there was an empty cup of tea Myungjun had brought to me a while ago. I hated everything. I hated the fact I was unable to do anything, I hated the fact I was so helpless and lost. I even hated the fact I liked the tea Myungjun did for me. I was also more than just a little bit ashamed of my actions before. The kiss wasn’t something I had intended on doing. It had just happened. I sighed and glanced at the clock. It was already getting close to 8pm. I felt my stomach growling - I hadn’t eaten a proper meal today and I had gone through a lot; first at the amusement park and then here.

I heard a quiet knock from the door and with a weak voice I invited the person in. It was Bin. He looked very worried as he stepped into the dark room. The only light that created a dim lightning into the room was from the lights that shined outside the building. Carefully the boy walked to the bed and sat on the edge.

“Hey”, he said quietly. “How are you feeling? I heard about what happened.”

I sighed and tried to flash him a smile. “I’m better. Still shocked, but better.”

Bin replied with a smile. “That’s a relief. Have you eaten anything?”

“No”, I said, shaking my head.

“We are ordering some Chinese food”, the boy stated. “You should eat too.”

I gave him a tired nod before the boy exited the room. I yawned and stretched before lazily getting up from the bed. I felt my knees still aching from the fall earlier. Frowning a little bit, I headed out of the room.

Myungjun, Bin and Minhyuk were sitting in the living room, quietly chatting and from time to time paying some attention at the TV that was left on. As they noticed me, a big smile spread to every boy’s face.

“You’re up”, Minhyuk said. “We ordered food!”

I nodded. “Bin told me.”

I sat on the sofa, next to Myungjun, trying not to show how awkward I actually was feeling. There was a clearly visual empty spot between us, but for my luck nobody seemed to notice. After a short while we got a notice that the food had arrived. Bin got up and left the apartment to get the food from the first floor. A somewhat awkward silence fell upon us. This was unusual. Was Bin able to sense the awkwardness between me and Myungjun? Hopefully not.

In a couple of minutes, we were sitting on the floor, packages of food on the table, and stuffing our faces. The conversation he had withered away and all we could hear was smacking and slurping as we all were very hungry. I hadn’t eaten Chinese food in such a long time it tasted very delicious. I wasn’t even surprised about the fact that even in the situation I was in, I had a good appetite. I ate a lot and slowly felt myself being full. I put my chopsticks down and leaned backwards, resting my head against the sofa. I let out a satisfied sigh.

“Noona”, Minhyuk said. “You haven’t been talking to your previous gang mates, right?”

I glanced at the boy. “No. Why?”

“I was on guarding duty today”, the boy stated, tilting his head a little bit. “And there was this guy trespassing in our area. I told him to leave but he didn’t listen to me so I had to chase him away. I thought he was from the underground.”

I frowned a little bit. Eunwoo? It was the first name that came to my mind. “What did he look like?”

“He had light hair”, Minhyuk pondered, looking thoughtful. “He wasn’t very tall.”

Oh. It had been Jinwoo. I felt my frown grow more noticeable and bit my lip, immersed in my thoughts. What was Jinwoo doing here? No matter his respect towards his higher ups, he was smart and rational. He thought very highly of my father and always treated me well, so it was impossible to think he’d been sent to harm me in any way. Unless Yikyung had lied to him and accused me of something completely insane. Insane enough for Jinwoo to fall for her lies. I felt myself shivering. At this point, I could believe anything.

“He was my unit’s leader”, I stated quietly. “Was he armed?”

Minhyuk shook his head. “I don’t think so. But he seemed pretty aggressive.”

I sighed. “That woman is ruining everything. I want to kill her.”

I flinched in surprise a little bit as Myungjun slid closer to me on the floor and put his arm over me, patting my shoulder with comforting touch. “Try to not think about it. We will solve this.”

Hesitating for a short while, I finally relaxed under his arm and let out a deep sigh, closing my eyes. I really wished we would find the solution and end the situation.

“Where’s Miyeon, by the way?” Bin asked.

“She’s on night duty today”, Minhyuk sighed. “She must be exhausted.”

The conversation started slowly flowing again, but my thoughts couldn’t be cleared completely. I was thinking about Yikyung, about Chanmi, about Jinwoo. I was getting tired. Worrying like this was indeed exhausting. I felt like giving up, but to be honest, what would giving up even mean? It was impossible. I’d either be killed or imprisoned for the rest of my life. The only choice I had was to stay here and continue worrying. I let out a sigh. I wanted to just disappear.

The rest of the evening passed by quickly, and soon I got so exhausted I just needed to sleep. After washing up and changing into my pyjamas, I told Bin and Minhyuk good night and returned to the bedroom. I threw the extra pillows down to the floor and buried myself under the thick, warm blanket. Yawning, I rolled to my side and closed my eyes. I listened Myungjun entering the room, walking to the closet and after changing his clothes, returning. As he slowly lied down in the bed, I couldn’t help but to wriggle further away from him, trying to make it so he wouldn’t notice. Fortunately, I succeeded. Now I could sleep in peace.

Suddenly a flashback of the kiss we shared earlier appeared in my mind. I felt myself flinching and I rolled on my back in a quick speed, my eyes opening. I blew some air out of my lungs and brought my hands to my face, trying to calm down. Why did I have to think about it now?

“What?” I heard Myungjun mumble next to me.

“Nothing”, I said quickly and I glanced at the boy. He was slowly sitting up on the bed, his intense, piercing stare glued on me. As he slowly approached me, my eyes widened and I wriggled further away from him. I was so tightly tucked into the blanket, moving was hard.

“Calm down”, the boy said quietly, his eyes not even momentarily leaving me.

I managed to free myself from the blanket and sat up, responding to his stare with a subtle glare. The boy smirked and grabbed me by my shoulders, pushing me back to the mattress. I let out a surprised gasp and my glare changed into a shocked stare.

“Don’t you trust me?” the boy asked. “Do you seriously think I’d do something to you?”

I looked away. Myungjun chuckled quietly as he gently caressed my cheek before lying down again. He was lying on his back, seemingly very relaxed, but I was still frozen in my place, unable to move. My realization left me this shocked. The truth was, I actually did trust the boy. I could’ve never thought he’d do something to me without my permission. I closed my eyes. Eunwoo’s words echoed in my head. Have you fallen for him? I pressed my eyes shut so tightly it almost hurt. Even though I hated the idea, I’d never want to admit it, it had become my reality. I had fallen for Myungjun.

“You can relax”, I heard the boy mumbling half-asleep. “I’m not a beast, you know.”

I let out a sigh. Of course he wasn’t. Of course I knew that.