CHAPTER 4: MISSION IMPOSSIBLE

 

 

The atmosphere was somewhat tense and awkward the next morning. Our unit’s kitchen was all silent as we ate breakfast. No talking, just the sounds of chopsticks clattering against the plates from time to time. Sanha and Eunwoo must’ve heard of my failed mission. I glanced at Jinwoo, who looked a bit down. He must’ve talked with Yikyung. I sighed and continued eating. I finished quickly so that I could leave for a morning run quickly and leave the awkward silence behind.

As I returned to our bedroom to change into running clothes, I noticed Chanmi turning around in her bed and letting out a deep breath. She was still sleeping. I looked at the mountain of blankets going up and down as she breathed, and gently patted her side before changing my clothes and leaving the room again. I needed to run my bad feeling away.

Just as I stepped out of the room I was about to run into Eunwoo who was standing behind our room’s door. I managed to stop before actually walking into his chest. I looked up at him and tilted my head.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“I thought you need a shoulder to rely on”, he said with a soft voice. “I can run with you.”

I let out a sigh before smiling at him. “Alright, then. Catch me if you can!”

The run started off as a playful race between us, but after a while of having fun we steadied our pace and just jogged side by side, not talking much. From time to time one of us might have brought up a topic but after briefly commenting, we were silent again. But it didn’t feel awkward. We had been friends since we first met when I was five and he was four years old. He was the closest friend and dongsaeng I could have, besides Chanmi of course. Sometimes it almost seemed like he knew me better than I did. When I didn’t know what to order in a coffee shop or a restaurant, he had already ordered something that I liked. He controlled me when I felt too angry or frustrated, and he knew how to make me feel better when I was down. Then again I managed to somehow bring the playful side out of the silent, nerdy boy. Even though he didn’t attend school – just like none of the gang members did – he was probably smarter than the average high school students out there.

“Are you really alright?” he asked at some point. “I heard that the mission was pretty meaningful.”

I shook my head. “I’m not alright but it’s a given I need to act strong. I don’t know what I can do now. Chanmi has no future if she can’t become a unit member. She won’t be able to leave the gang but she won’t be able to be an official member either. She’ll be stuck for the rest of her life.”

For a short moment Eunwoo was silent. “Jinwoo could talk to the chief so that she’ll give you another chance.”

“He could”, I admitted. “But walking into that damned office and talking to that witch is what makes me uncomfortable. I’m almost embarrassed. I assured her I was the best so that she’d send me off to do that mission. And I failed.”

Eunwoo stopped running and I did the same, turning around to look at him with a questioning expression. He flashed me an encouraging smile as he walked up to me and put his hands on my shoulders.

“You are the best”, he said. “You were made an official unit member at the age of 14, and that tells a lot. All the others trained until they were 16. You really are the best, Aeri. And even if everybody else forgets that, you will always be the best for me.”

I looked at his serious eyes for a moment before smiling at him and bringing my hands on top of his. “Thank you, Eunwoo. Are you sure you’re younger than me, though? Such nice words!”

He chuckled and put his hands down from my shoulders.

We continued our run in silence, but the atmosphere was certainly more free and relaxed compared to earlier. We ran for about 30 minutes before returning to our commune. I didn’t even get to enter our room as Jinwoo peeked behind the door of his own room and called my name. I turned to look at him.

“What is it?” I asked.

He looked a bit awkward. “You can probably guess… Yikyung demands to see you.”

I sighed and hit my head against the room’s door. Of course she needed to see me and make fun of me and my failure. But did I have a chance to not do what the chief wanted? No. That’s why I followed my unit leader, still dressed in my sweaty running clothes, through the underground tunnels, into the main hallway where the chief’s office was located. I was somewhat happy I didn’t need to go alone and that Jinwoo was accompanying me this time.

As we got the permission to enter the office, I already held my breath. I didn’t want the overwhelming scent of perfume to surprise my senses again as it did the day before. Jinwoo, anyhow, wasn’t as prepared and I almost smiled as he started coughing when we stepped into the room.

“Jinwoo and Aeri”, Yikyung said from behind her desk. “My favourite and the one that’s really not my favourite.”

I didn’t hesitate to frown at the woman, whose smile withered as she noticed me glaring at her. She got up from her seat and leaned against the desk. She had her arms crossed against her chest and she looked at me, up and down from my head to my toes.

“You’ve been running”, she said. “Trying to train harder because of your failure?”

I sighed and looked down, not in shame but trying to control my rage. “No. I just felt frustrated.”

“I see. I would feel frustrated too after losing the title of the best”, she replied, nodding like she understood how I felt.

Jinwoo cleared his throat awkwardly, like trying to remind us he was with us too. He glanced at me before looking at Yikyung.

“Chief…”, he started carefully. “Aren’t you being a little bit too hard on her? Everybody makes mistakes.”

“Are you implying I’m wrong?” she asked, narrowing her eyes.

Jinwoo looked down. “Of course not! I’m just trying to say she really is the best fighter and spy I have ever seen, and one fail does not define her”, he said and then turned to look at me smiling. “I’m proud I have her in my unit.”

I felt thankful for my leader as he stood up for me and tried to defend me. I wanted to thank him, but since Yikyung didn’t seem to appreciate us chatting in her office, I decided to stay quiet and thank him later. Instead I just flashed him a smile.

“Of course a leader should be proud of his own”, Yikyung said. “But I am not convinced of this girl’s skills. For me, she only has her father’s name linked to her. And that’s not very impressive for me. He was a young, foolish man who died at his own mistake of not securing his room properly. If that’s all you got linked to you…” She stared straight into my eyes.

I felt furious. I wanted to jump at her, beat her up and make her apologize. How dared she talk about my father like this in front of me? I felt Jinwoo slowly stepping closer to me, like he was ready to stop me if I was going to attack my chief. But, being treated like this for the past three years, I had trained myself to control my rage and not jump into action right away without thoughts. Instead, I just noticed myself breathing heavily and staring at the woman with a hateful glare.

“Well”, she said. “Jinwoo has been begging me to give you a new chance to prove yourself.”

I glanced at my leader who smiled awkwardly. Then I turned back to Yikyung as she started talking again.

“I will have to think about this. You may leave.”

I rushed out of the office and the first thing I did after the soundproof door was locked after us, was to shout out and kick the door. Jinwoo didn’t even flinch. He was used to my temper when it came to our chief. I was sure nobody enjoyed her company or her being our leading figure, but nobody could really understand how the relationship with her and me – and Chanmi – was. She hated us, she thought of us as a threat to her position as I could apply for the chief’s position anytime now that I was a legal adult. I, anyhow, had no intention of doing so. I wasn’t the chief type.

“She didn’t completely shoot down my suggestion”, Jinwoo said. “She might give you another chance.”

“She might”, I nodded. “Or she might not. You never know about her. She’s probably already planning on her next plot to bully me.”

Jinwoo sighed. “Let’s return to the commune.”

After we headed back, I finally got to shower and change my clothes. Chanmi had headed out of the room just as I returned, probably to train. Just as I was picking some more comfy clothes from my drawer, I got a text from Eunwoo.

Want to go out for a coffee? With extra whipped cream and chocolate.

I didn’t need to think twice.

Let’s meet in 15 minutes.

I returned back to the drawer and instead of the sweatshirt and track pants I was about to wear, I pulled out jeans and a striped T-shirt. After dressing up, I brushed my hair and tied it up into a ponytail, then got my warmest winter jacket and put in on before stepping out of the room.  Eunwoo was already waiting for me in the living room-kitchen combo, sitting on the sofa and playing with his phone. As he heard me coming out, he put the phone away and smiled at me.

“All ready?” he asked.

I nodded and we headed out.

It was a breezy and chilly afternoon. It was Sunday and since everyone was out of school or work, there were quite a lot of people out there, eating out, getting some coffee, shopping, just meeting up with friends, or just doing some grocery shopping. We walked up the stairs from the abandoned subway station and quickly walked into the coffee shop we regularly visited. It was the nearest one to our home so it was convenient, especially if I was on a guarding duty. I could just sit in the coffee shop for hours, staring at the entrance of the subway station and making sure nobody who wasn’t supposed to be there, went in.

The coffee shop had renewed their menu from the time I last visited it, so I was a bit hesitant while making up my mind on what to order. I glanced at Eunwoo and pouted, and just as I expected, he smirked at me and ordered for me. After a short while, two coffees were delivered to our comfy corner table that had soft, padded seats and flowers.

“Let’s see, what did you get for me”, I said as I placed the straw in my mouth and tasted. “Mm! This is good!”

The flavour was very sweet in a caramel way and there was a large layer of whipped cream on top of it, but you could still taste the coffee. I felt the warmth spread in my body and smiled at Eunwoo. He surely knew what I liked.

“How would you survive in daily life without me?” he asked and chuckled. “You’re so helpless.”

“And I’m your noona who gets angry easily”, I said in a jokingly manner, playfully glaring at him.

He laughed. “You know you love me!”

I was about to reply with something snarky as I heard the coffee shop’s door open and out of curiosity glanced at the entrance. My eyes enlarged. There were two people, a boy and a girl. The girl looked like someone who was super popular in her school, dressed in a tennis skirt and a turtleneck sweater with a long coat put on top. Her hair was beautifully curled and her makeup was very natural yet she was still amazingly beautiful. But it wasn’t her that caught my eye. It was the boy next to him. He looked damn familiar. He had a slightly tanned skin even though it was winter, dark wavy hair that was partly pulled back with a beanie, and he was dressed in black jeans and a leather jacket. I recognized the jacket right away, I knew this boy. It was the same one that had interrupted my fight with the enemy the day before.

“Aeri?” Eunwoo called my name. “What are you looking at?”

“That’s him”, I said quietly, feeling my voice starting to shake. “That’s the guy who ruined my mission.”

Eunwoo turned around to look at the newcomers. He tilted his head a little bit. “He doesn’t look like a gang member.”

“Do you think you look like one, then? You look like a damned manga character, Eunwoo”, I sighed. “Anyway, I’m going to walk to them, grab the guy by his collar, take him out and beat him up. Ok?”

I was about to get up as the boy noticed me instead. His eyes enlarged but instead of turning away, he walked straight up to our table. I felt like facepalming right in my place.

“Hello”, the boy said. His voice was just as soft as the day before – maybe it wasn’t intended. “It is you, right? The one I saved yesterday.”

I felt my hands forming two tight fists. “It is me. But you did not save me.”

“But it really did look like that”, the boy said, chuckling. “No need to thank me.”

“Do you think I would?” I hissed at him.

“No”, he replied. “I just said it. Let me at least introduce myself since I’m your saviour. I’m Kim Myungjun.”

“I’m not going to tell you my name”, I said quietly, trying to restrain myself from not attacking him.

“Wouldn’t that be just polite?” the boy asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

Eunwoo must’ve noticed me pressing my fists against the table, since he took the lead instead.

“She said she doesn’t want to”, he said. “I think it’s time for you to leave.”

Myungjun chuckled. “I wasn’t intending to stay.”

Then he turned around, walked back to the girl who had finished ordering take-away coffees, and they walked out of the coffee shop. I let out a deep sigh and brought my hands to my hair, messing the ponytail totally. I was so pissed off. I had wanted to say something more, make him feel guilty and regret we ever met in the first place. But I couldn’t. This was a public place, after all. Besides, the boy didn’t seem to know that I knew he was a part of a gang. It was only the small logo on the mask he wore yesterday that had revealed that much for me, but I didn’t know which gang he belonged to, and since I didn’t recognize the logo, he probably wasn’t on a list of our enemies – and we weren’t allowed to make new enemies; like we didn’t have enough already. But, in the other hand, the boy was in our area, suspiciously close to our headquarters. That would have been enough a reason for me to beat him up.

“Aeri”, Eunwoo said, making me snap out of my thoughts. “You can relax now.”

I looked down and realized my hands had become all white from the power I squeezed them together. I opened my fists and sighing, took a sip of my coffee. It was delicious, but the incident had brought back my negative thoughts and so the taste wasn’t as good anymore.

“You did well”, Eunwoo complimented me. “You held back very well.”

“I really wanted to punch him”, I said. “What is he even doing in our area?”

“Which gang does he belong to?” Eunwoo asked. Now he seemed a bit more interested.

I shook my head. “I saw him wearing a gang mask yesterday, but I couldn’t recognize the logo.”

“Then he’s not our enemy”, he said, nodding by himself. “I think you should stay away from him.”

“I think so too”, I admitted. “But he seems to enjoy strolling our area.”

“We’ll take action if needed”, Eunwoo stated. “You know we can’t just go around making new enemies.”

I glanced at my friend. “Stop reading so much! You speak with fancy words for a lowly gang member.”

He laughed and finished his coffee with a final sip. He waited for me as I slowly, still feeling the rage pulsing somewhere deep inside me, drank my own coffee. After a while, we walked out of the coffee shop and returned to the subway station’s stairs, going down and then turning left, entering the maintenance tunnel that led to our headquarters.

 

A few hours later I finished training with my unit. Everybody had been working out hard, so there wasn’t a member that wasn’t all sweaty and out of breath. I collapsed onto a pile of fitness mattresses that we had piled up in the corner of our training room, and Eunwoo fell down next to me. I glanced at Sanha, who was trying to keep up his youthful and energetic image by just standing and drinking some more water. Even Jinwoo was laying down, breathing deeply.

“Hey, Sanha”, I called the boy’s name. “You can rest too.”

The boy turned around to look at me. “I don’t need to…”

I tilted my head and flashed him a serious look. “Come on, sit here.”

Sanha put down his water bottle and a bit hesitantly walked up to me and Eunwoo before sitting on the mattresses. He wiped off some sweat from his face and let out a sigh.

“You don’t have to act stronger than you are”, I said. “You’re one of us now.”

He looked at me with big eyes. “I was always told to not show my weakness.”

“You’re a member of this unit now”, Eunwoo stated. “Which means we are all friends and family to each other. You need to show us the real you in order for us to trust each other. That’s what we do too.”

The boy scratched his neck and I could see him pout a little bit. He must’ve been really brainwashed during his training. What kind of trainers had Yikyung put in charge of the trainees? If unit members couldn’t trust each other, nothing in the gang would work anymore. It was all about trust and loyalty!

Just as I was about to get up and start lecturing Sanha about how important it was for him to trust us and get to know us better, Jinwoo’s phone rang. He sighed and showed the name of the caller for me before picking up. I frowned. Yikung again.

“Yes, chief?” he asked. “Again?”

I looked at the boy as he glanced at me. “Alright, I’ll bring her.”

I sighed. I had been meeting the chief more often than I ever used to during the last couple of days. And taking into consideration we weren’t exactly in a good relationship, it was very frustrating and tiring. I got up and wiped sweat off my face before spreading my arms and saying “I guess we’ll go.”

Jinwoo looked tired as we walked down the main hallway. His blonde hair was drenched in sweat and it looked like just for walking, he had to make so much effort. He must’ve been training a lot more than us others lately. Being a unit leader must’ve been hard. Taking care of us, leading us, having to attend meetings with the chief and other unit leaders frequently… There was a lot to do.

“Are you alright?” I asked as we were walking.

He turned to look at me. “I’m okay. It’s you who I worry for. Yikyung seemed like she’s got something planned for you.”

I snorted. “I’m used to her bullying me. I don’t like it but I’m just used to it.”

He nodded. “I hope you’ll be able to continue being so strong.”

We reached the chief’s office and once again had to face the perfume scent as we stepped in. This time Yikyung wasn’t sitting behind her desk as usual, but sitting in a comfy chair in the corner, with a book on her lap. She had probably stopped working a while ago. She didn’t bother getting up from the chair but motioned us to sit on the sofa opposite to her. As we sat down, she went straight into the business.

“I’ve been thinking of Jinwoo’s request”, she stated. “And I’ve decided to be nice.”

“That’s new”, I whispered, rolling my eyes. I felt Jinwoo’s hand brushing my own, like he was warning me to not play around this time if I wanted to really get the chance I was given. I got his point and sighing, looked at Yikyung.

“I received something special and very unusual today”, the chief said. “A proposal to start cooperation with an another gang. It is a large gang with big, wealthy sponsors. We might be powerful and feared but one thing we lack is funding and money. If we were to accept the proposal, we’d be the greatest gang in the country.”

What she said was completely true, as much as I never wanted to believe a word she said. She was stating the facts. It would be a great opportunity to start cooperation with an another gang, especially if Yikyung was sure they wouldn’t try to trick or betray us. I tilted my head and glanced at Jinwoo. What did this have to do with our unit or me?

“So, I have decided to accept the proposal”, Yikyung continued, smiling at me. “It is a marriage contract. Completely understandable, that way the gangs are really united.”

I started to get the bad feeling in my stomach the moment she said the word ‘marriage’. I changed my position on the sofa a little bit, feeling uncomfortable. I met the chief’s eyes and felt my own narrowing. “What does that have to do with me?”

“Well, Aeri”, she started. “You’re the legal heir of this gang. Your father was quite respected out there, even though I can’t see why. And it’s not like I have a daughter to marry off.”

My eyes enlarged. “Are you kidding me? You’re marrying me off to get rid of me?”

“It’s your decision”, Yikyung stated, shrugging her shoulder. “Just remember that you have the responsibility for your sister’s future. How miserable it would be if she’s be stuck in the middle, not an official unit member yet not an outsider…”

“I get it”, I hissed. I felt my breathing become quick and deep and my brains seemed to be overheating from the thinking I did. Everything Yikyung had said was true. But this was wrong, this was blackmailing. She was basically threatening me! Leave the gang or destroy your sister’s life, something like that. How hateful! If I was a bit crazier – or stupider – I would have jumped up from the sofa and attacked the woman, ripping her hair and punching her face. Only imagining it made me feel a bit better.

“Are you going to do it?” Yikyung asked, she seemed to be rushing me.

“Chief”, Jinwoo said. “Isn’t this a bit too much? Aeri is part of my unit. I would lose a member if she’d leave.”

Yikyung chuckled. “Aeri should think of her sister’s future. Besides, if she left, there would be an open position for Chanmi to take.”

I looked at the woman. As evil as she was, what she said was true. If I left, it would provide a place for Chanmi in my team. My place. She was familiar with my team so she’d adapt quickly. She was a good fighter, fast too. She’d easily become the new “best of the unit” and she could continue annoying Yikyung instead of me, just by existing. But leaving the gang, leaving the tunnels, it all felt so wrong and unreal. I felt myself hesitating for the first time in a while.

“Well, Aeri?” Yikyung asked again. “Didn’t you say you’re the best?”