CHAPTER 3: FAILURE AFTER FAILURE

The moment I stepped into the dark alley I had a feeling in my gut that something was suspicious. But my father hadn’t raised a quitter so I didn’t pay any attention to the feeling and just rushed into the alley. One of the two men walking ahead of me turned back to glance at me. As I felt myself frowning at him, his eyes widened and he quickly, almost in a rush, patted his mate’s arm and notified the other man about my arriving. Taking into consideration the fact the other guy looked very nervous right now, he must’ve been a newbie – just like Sanha was to our unit. I tilted my head and raised a brow as I approached the men. They had nowhere to run to, the alley was a dead end.

“Are you sure it’s safe for a girl to walk in empty alleys this late?” the older man asked.

“This alley isn’t empty though”, I replied quickly. “There are two intruders in our area.”

I flipped the hem of my jacket slightly, exposing the gun hanging from my belt. On good days, that was enough to scare enemies away. Today, anyhow, it didn’t seem to be the case. I crossed my arms and stared at the men coldly. “I think you should be on your way now.”

The older man let out a mocking chuckle and turned to his junior. “Go. I can handle this little girl by myself.”

I saw a relieved look in the younger man’s eyes and wondered why he even was here in the first place if he was this much of a scaredy-cat. I glanced at him as he ran past me, making sure he wouldn’t ambush me from the behind right away. After he was gone, I couldn’t even get to take one breathe as the older man rushed towards me, directing a fly-kick towards my stomach. I managed to dodge him and sneaked behind him as quickly as I could. It was my advantage – I was short and small, which meant I was quick and hard to catch by bigger, slower opponents. I placed a punch on his neck and partially from the surprise, partially form the punch, the man swayed in his place for a short second before turning around, letting out a groan and attacking me again. His eyes were furious, like he was embarrassed to fight against a girl. I dodged his punch again, turning around and targeted his upper body with a karate kick. He managed to grab my ankle and I let out a gasp as he flipped me around – and soon I found myself lying on the ground, the man pressing me down from my shoulders. I couldn’t really move and I shot lasers at him with my eyes. He let out a low chuckle and a breath that smelled of alcohol and garlic was blown on my face. I frowned.

“This fight was over pretty quickly, darling”, he mumbled. “I’m going to beat you up as a warning for your mates.”

He sat astride over me, pressing me even more tightly against the ground, and raised his other fist, ready to start punching me like no tomorrow. For a second I felt like panicking, but as my other hand was partially freed, I managed to move it a little bit and wrap my fingers around the pistol’s grip.

“Not so quickly”, I groaned at the man. “There is a gun pointed directly at your balls. If I was you, I would let go immediately. Your future children will thank you.”

I saw a trace of hesitance in the man’s eyes and couldn’t help but to smirk. I loaded the gun and tilted my head, waiting for the man to get up and let me handle him. Right at that moment I heard an unfamiliar voice shout warnings and curses at us. I couldn’t see past the man hovering over me so I couldn’t even guess who it could be. Just as the man seemed to realize someone was watching and he turned away, giving me a chance to push him away, someone else did it instead. The man was punched in the face and that made him fall off me. As the man rolled on the ground for a very brief moment before getting up, the attacker kicked him in the face, making him fall down again. A series of different kicks and punches made the man realize he had met his match and he started retreating from the alley. I was so dumbfounded I could just sit on the cold concrete ground, staring at the stranger with plate-size eyes. He was dressed in black from his head to toes, and he covered his face with a black mask. After a quick look he seemed to have the exact same outfit as the two men I had tracked down, but the mask he was wearing had a different logo. I felt my eyes narrowing. He was a gang member too.

I managed to get up and rush at the new guy to punch him as a warning but he turned around and grabbed my wrist. The mask he had been wearing had fallen off from the other side, revealing most of his face. I was surprised – he looked pretty young. He had a friendly looking face and slightly wavy, chestnut brown hair that was mostly covered by a black cap. What surprised me the most, anyhow, wasn’t the face but the expression. He seemed worried! I quickly hid the gun under my jacket so he wouldn’t see it.

“Are you alright, miss?” he asked, raising his eyebrows in concern.

I felt a wrinkle form between my brows. “Who are you?”

“Just a by-passer”, he replied quickly. “Did you know that guy?”

I couldn’t comprehend what exactly was happening. I didn’t want to answer him. I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t need this boy. I needed to finish my mission. And this boy had ruined it for me. I freed my wrist from his hold and glared at him.

“Mind your own business”, I hissed. “I had the situation under control.”

“I’m sorry, but it really didn’t look like – “

Before the boy could finish his sentence, I walked past him and off the alley. I looked around, trying to figure out which way the man had went. I let out a repressed sigh. I saw no hint of him. I had no idea where to start searching. I brought my hands to my head and messed my hair in frustration. I heard footsteps behind me and knew the boy would try following me. I knew for sure I’d just start raging at him if he approached me again so I decided to just flee from the scene. I started running. And I ran until I was sure nobody was following me. I stopped in front of a coffee shop and got my phone from my jacket’s pocket. It was already 9pm. I had spent over two hours tracking for the men and then lost them both in just 15 minutes. I wanted to scream. This was all just because of the stranger who wanted to play a knight in a shining armour. How annoying.

I walked around the neighbourhood for good 30 minutes, desperately trying to find any traces of the intruders – for nothing. I started to feel a bit panicky. So many things were depending on this one mission, and I was almost 100% sure I had ended it in failure. I kicked a soda can on the street and leaned against a wall, trying to calm down. I closed my eyes and hit my head against the wall continuously. Not hard, but hard enough for me to feel it.

“Aeri?”

My head lifted up by itself as I heard a familiar voice calling my name. I looked at my left just to see Jinwoo standing just a few feet away from me. He was holding a take-away coffee on his hand and he stared at me, tilting his head.

“Jinwoo”, I sighed.

“What’s up?” he asked. “Aren’t you supposed to be on a mission?”

“I was”, I replied, looking down and messing my hair some more. “I failed.”

The boy’s eyes enlarged and he stepped closer to me. As he reached me, I looked up at him. He wasn’t that tall but he was still a lot taller than I was. He patted my shoulder with his free hand. The look in his eyes was very understanding, yet a little bit wistful. He must’ve wished for my success too. I closed my eyes and placed my head against his shoulder, just standing there and sighing deeply. And he did the same, stood still and waited for me to calm down. He had always been so adaptable.

“I don’t think I deserve to be in your unit anymore”, I whispered.

“What are you talking about?” he asked, his voice becoming an octave higher than usually.

“I’m not the best”, I said. “I’m the worst.”

“Don’t you dare to start that”, Jinwoo scolded me. “You’re the best. Best in my unit. And my unit is the best of all. So don’t you dare to call yourself that without bringing the whole unit down with you. Even the best do mistakes, and that’s exactly what happened. And right now you and me are going to return home. No buts!”

The reality really started to sink into my mind only after I had gotten some coffee to drink and laid down on my bed. As I laid there, wrapped in two warm blankets, I realized how badly I had failed. There were probably two vengeful intruders roaming around the streets of our area. I had failed my first solo mission and given more reasons for Yikyung to mock me about. And I had failed Chanmi’s near future. It wasn’t very likely she’s become a member of our unit, or any other unit, in a while. I felt like a complete loser. The tears that started to form in my eyes surprised me. I didn’t remember the las time I had cried. I wasn’t the emotional type of a person. I was usually very stone-faced and never showed that I had my weaknesses too. I closed my eyes to prevent the tear drops from falling out. I didn’t want Chanmi to hear or see me crying – she was lying on the bed next to mine, playing with her phone. I pitied her. How boring and undeveloped her life must’ve been, just staying inside the concrete tunnels, underground, almost 24 hours a day. Our gang members didn’t attend school after middle school and so didn’t really meet friends outside the gang. We had been “home-schooled” unofficially, as actual home-schooling was illegal in the country. Like it was the only illegal thing we had been growing up with…

I glanced at my sister. She looked so young and innocent without makeup, dressed in her cute animal pyjamas and humming silently while playing with her phone. I couldn’t hold back a sad smile. I wanted to apologize to her, but couldn’t. She wouldn’t really understand it if I did. I sighed and turned to lay on my back on the bed. I stared at the grey ceiling and felt my eyes slowly closing. Yes. Maybe sleeping the sadness off would help. Maybe this was just a nightmare and I would wake up happy tomorrow. Maybe I didn’t fail, or maybe I could get a new chance to prove myself. I frowned half-asleep as I realized I’d have to talk with Yikyung tomorrow and admit that I wasn’t able to finish the mission.

“Chanmi?” I asked silently.

“Yes?” she replied.

“Would you mind knocking me off? I need to sleep”, I sighed.

“That’s your problem. Good night!” she said, chuckling, and put her phone away.

I looked as she turned off the lights and crawled under the blankets. After a few minutes of the sheets clattering and deep breaths I could hear her murmuring in her sleep. I almost envied her. How easy it was for her to just fall asleep, even when she was stressed or frustrated. Right now I needed that ability too.

“I’m sorry, sister”, I whispered. “I’ll make this up for you some day.”

And then my sleepiness won over the fears and restlessness I had, and I fell asleep.