CHAPTER 13: NEVER ENDING TROUBLES

The time I spent alone after meeting with Mr. Kim felt like forever. Time was ticking forward very slowly and the hours were the longest I had ever experienced. It was the end of Myungjun’s unit’s vacation and everybody was busy with their missions so I was left alone in the apartment, spending the rest of the day and the night alone, only my fears and troubled thoughts as my company. I did a lot of thinking. I was comparing different possibilities but in the end my thoughts always ended in a deep sigh. I was really irresolute and lost. I felt my heart hurting when I thought about the possibility of Eunwoo revealing the truth about my situation to the rest of the gang, but it was highly possible everybody in the tunnels thought of me as a traitor now. Then again, even though I did trust Myungjun as his father, I was sure the information about my mission would be spreading like a wildfire around the corporation – the whole building would be aware soon, so they’d think of me as a threat too. Leaving would be very dangerous but staying here felt wrong towards the corporation.

I slept alone in our bedroom that night. Well, as much as I could sleep. I was so stressed falling asleep was very difficult. When I finally caught the train to dreamland, I rolled around the bed because of violent nightmares and woke up coated in sweat, breathless. After 4am I was finally, after a long struggle, able to sleep in peace – I was probably too exhausted to stay awake anymore.

When I woke up it was already 10am. I let out a sigh as I rolled to my side, glancing at the other side of the bed. It was untouched, Myungjun hadn’t stepped into the room for the whole night. I did understand he was angry and upset, he had every right to be mad at me. I cursed at myself from feeling bad – I was the one who caused all of this.

As I walked out of the room, I could already sense that the unit had caught up on the rumours, since everybody – minus Myungjun, who wasn’t in the kitchen – was eating breakfast in complete silence, with serious faces. I glanced at them carefully as I headed to the kitchen to join them. I could feel Bin’s and Minhyuk’s eyes following me as I poured some juice into a glass and sat to the table.

“I guess you’ve heard”, I sighed.

“Yes, we have”, Bin replied immediately, tilting his head a little bit. He sounded hurt and I couldn’t stop myself from frowning.

“How do you want us to call you?” Miyeon asked, sending beams of laser at me with her eyes. The glare I hadn’t seen since moving in, had returned. “Liar, traitor, betrayer?”

I let out a sigh. “I know you’re angry. I’m angry at myself too. I have apologized to the CEO, and I hope you’ll accept my apology with time too.”

“What did Mr. Kim say?” Minhyuk asked.

I turned to look at him. “He forgave me. Saying I’m not the one to blame since I was blackmailed into the contract.”

Minhyuk nodded slowly before glancing at Bin and Miyeon. “I think she’s right.”

Bin stared at me with a serious expression before letting out a sigh. “It’s not our business to be angry at you.”

“Yes, it is”, I said quietly. “I really understand that you’re angry.”

“Good”, Miyeon stated. “Even if we’ll accept your apology… Myungjun might not be as easy to handle.”

I looked at the girl. Her glare has softened down but now the look in her eyes was a bit sad. I felt the guilt burning inside me and tried to flush it away with some juice and started stuffing my face with the food. I could feel Bin eyeing me every other second. At first I thought he was just suspicious of me but after he didn’t stop I realized he was actually trying to say something. Weird. It wasn’t typical of him to hesitate before talking. I stopped eating to look at him and raised my eyebrows.

“I think you should speak with Myungjun”, he said. “I’m not the one to say this but he slept in my room yesterday and seemed very broken.”

The guilty feeling that I had pushed away while eating rushed back and I let out a deep sigh, frowning and looking down at my plate. I guess what I had been expecting for a while was true – he really had developed feelings for me. Otherwise, why would he be this affected? I felt so sorry I felt my appetite entirely disappearing. I almost felt like throwing up. Why did this have to be so hard? I glanced at Bin multiple times, not even realizing it. Just as Bin let out an awkward cough and told me it was okay to go into his room, I put my dishes into the dishwasher and left the kitchen. I walked to the door carefully and hesitantly glanced back before knocking and slowly opening the door slightly to see inside.

Myungjun was lying on Bin’s bed, apparently still soundly asleep. I stepped into the room and leaned against the wall, letting out a deep breath of air and tilted my head, thinking very hard. What should I say once he’d wake up? I couldn’t bring up our last conversation, about the divorce. Apparently the boy was too hurt right now to be thinking about it. I crossed my arms and took a step closer to the bed, looking at the sleeping boy. He was breathing deeply, lying on his stomach, arms spread on the mattress, the blanket only covering the lower part of his body. He must have slept very restlessly too. I looked down, closing my eyes for a moment. I hadn’t even apologized properly at him. Maybe I should start with that.

My head jerked up as I heard a silent mumble from the bed. Myungjun opened his eyes slowly and for a second, he didn’t seem to realize he was awake. He stared at me momentarily before he bridled a bit and got up from the bed. I was about to open my mouth to say something, but I was left there, opening and closing my mouth, as Myungjun just walked past me, heading out of the room. With wide eyes I turned around and rushed after him.

The boy walked into the main bathroom, locking the door behind him. I knew I wasn’t acting the way I probably should have been – maybe I should’ve been a bit more understanding – but when had I ever thought before doing anything? I knocked on the door, maybe with a bit more power than I had intended.

“Myungjun, I’m sorry”, I burst out. “I really am. You don’t know how bad I felt from the beginning, I started getting fond of you guys after the first days and I was boiling inside. I had no intentions of hurting anyone. I know you’re angry right now but… if you could at least speak with me…”

My voice became weak at the end of my sentences and I had to cough a bit to make it sound strong again.  Suddenly the door was wrenched open with power and I automatically took a step backwards from the shock. Myungjun stood at the doorframe, shirtless and dead serious. His eyes had that significant piercing stare that made me believe I was in trouble. My eyes widened a little bit at the sight and I couldn’t stop myself from looking away.

“What do you want to talk about?” he asked, frowning a little bit.

“What else?” I sighed, tilting my head. “About the situation we’re in.”

The boy snorted sarcastically and shaking his head, took a step closer to me. This started the exact same way it had started in our room just two days before and it was pretty clear where this would be going, but I was too concentrated to get the boy to speak to notice anything before my back hit the cold stone wall behind me. Myungjun was so close to me I could feel his breaths on my skin and the warmth of his skin radiating on to me. He tilted his head, and his eyes narrowed as his stare kept on piercing into me. I wanted to look away, but he was everywhere. Wherever I’d look, I’d see him. His messy, hazelnut hair, his subtly tanned skin, his slightly toned abdominal muscles, his biceps that were holding me on my place against the wall.

“Do you want the divorce?” he asked quietly.

I blinked my eyes and opened my mouth but had no option but to close it again. I was hesitant to say anything. I had my doubts. I couldn’t help but to think about Myungjun, his father and the whole corporation. It had only been a few days since the wedding. The information about a divorce would quickly exit the building and soon it would be everywhere, media would be going crazy. It might start rumours – the young lovebirds wanting to divorce right after the wedding.

“I- I… don’t – “, I started, but couldn’t stutter anything more.

“I don’t want it”, Myungjun stated, making my heart skip a beat. “You know that already. So, give me two weeks. If you still want to divorce after that… I’ll let you go.”

I didn’t get the chance to say anything, to agree or to disagree, as the boy backed away from me and locked himself back into the bathroom. I was left alone in the hallway, leaning against the wall. I was still confused, but for my relief, the worst seemed to be over. Myungjun wasn’t angry at me. That was more important to me than I had ever thought it would be.

After a trance-like morning, after eating some more breakfast, taking a shower and dressing up, I thought I’d be able to clean or do something else that would empty my mind – but then something that made the stress scale of mine blow up, happened. I got a phone call. It was from Yikyung. I was hesitant, scared even, to take the call, but I ended up picking up after all.

“Aeri”, her voice pierced my soul, leaving me breathless for a second. “I’d like to meet you. I want to know how your mission is going.”

I was almost afraid that my heartbeat could be heard through the phone call, that’s how hard it was beating. Anyhow, Yikyung’s voice didn’t have any sign of the fact she’d known anything. I was hesitant for a moment. It could be a trap and I’d be caught. Or, then Eunwoo had decided to not tell anyone and Yikyung really didn’t know that I had given up on the mission. I sighed.

“Are you not coming?” the woman asked with a cool voice.

“I am”, I replied. “Where should we meet?”

An hour later Yikyung and I met in a coffee shop far enough from the corporation’s headquarters but close enough for me to flee to safety if something suspicious would come up. Meeting in secret like this almost reminded me of the time I had been a real member of the underground gang, doing missions and trying to compromise to come along with Yikyung. As I sat down, facing Yikyung who had already ordered a cappuccino for herself, I couldn’t help but to notice my hands shaking visibly, and I tried my best to hide them under the table. I eyed at Yikyung who was, like usually, looking very flawless, dressed in an A-line skirt and blouse that had a big bow around the neck. She didn’t really look like someone who was in the lead of a criminal gang – especially a gang that lived in underground tunnels.

“Well, Aeri”, the woman started, tilting her head and putting the coffee cup down. “How is the mission processing?”

I noticed myself gulping. The moment of truth. Now or never. I took in a deep breath and looked into the woman’s eyes. “I want to drop out of this mission.”

For a nanosecond the woman blinked her eyes, staring at me with a surprised, even confused, look. Then her expression darkened. “How am I not even surprised about this? I always knew you were weak. I was actually surprised you even lasted until the wedding.”

I tried my best to not get up, climb on top of the table and attack the woman. This was a public place, nobody knew we were gang members and starting a fight just wasn’t the right option here. Instead, I just kept my hands tightly pressed into my thighs, glaring at the woman with fiery eyes.

“Ah, let me guess”, Yikyung said. “You got fond of the new gang. You got used to the life with the luxuries.”

I frowned. “That is not true. I realized what I was doing was wrong.”

“So you’re willing to leave your gang behind?” the woman hissed. She glanced around, making sure that nobody was looking at us. Then she sighed and a wicked smile spread on her lips. “You do remember you have a sister down in the tunnels?”

My eyes widened. She was threatening me! How dared she use Chanmi as a threat towards me? That was just lowly. I wouldn’t have believed something like this even from her. I snorted and narrowed my eyes at the woman. “I might be stupid but I recognize a threat. As well as a bad leader. And you, chief Hwang Yikyung, are one. You treat your people unequally, you threaten people, you just think of yourself. Have you done anything good for the gang?”

I watched Yikyung’s expression change as I was speaking. Her wicked smirk slowly withered into a smile and then quickly into a spiteful glare. She was throwing lasers at me with her eyes – this was a good visualization of “if looks could kill”. The woman was downright murdering me with her glare. She was probably thinking of all the possible ways to kill me slowly and painfully inside her head.

“Some people deserve to be treated badly”, she hissed at me – her voice was more of a low groan than her usual voice.

I glared at the woman. Fine, she was right. I was a traitor. But it didn’t mean I was a bad person. I had done the right thing. I had beaten up people, I had been stealing since I was a child. But I had never done anything that actually would harm someone or someone’s future. Kidnapping Myungjun would put his father and the whole corporation into huge trouble. The media would be full of it and quickly the rumours about their connections to the gang league – and that would probably lead to the corporation going bankrupt. I didn’t want that. They had treated me well.

“That just proves you’re a bad leader, not worthy to be the chief”, I stated quietly, trying to sound as calm as possible. “My father would be horrified of what the gang has become.”

Yikyung let out a laugh that sounded somewhat crazy. “Your father? He was just a foolish, simple-minded man who didn’t know how to manage things.”

Last time I had heard the woman speaking about my father like this, I had been battling myself to not kill the woman right there. The situation wasn’t any different now. Her words made my blood boil. I was furious. I stood up with the speed of a lightning, glaring at the woman, thinking of the cruellest words ever, something that would silence the wicked woman for once, but I couldn’t come up with anything. I was too choked up to think rationally. In that situation, since I didn’t want to beat up the woman in a public place, in a coffee shop, the best solution was to just turn my back on her and walk away. I heard Yikyung snorting angrily behind me, and shouting threats and insults after me. I saw people staring at me, then at the woman, and then at me again, with curious and resentful expressions. I closed my eyes as I stepped out of the coffee shop, and as the door closed behind me, let out a deep sigh. Now I couldn’t hear the woman’s insulting words anymore.

I looked around me before quickly buttoning up my coat and heading towards the corporation’s headquarters. My home.