CHAPTER 7: PUZZLES OF MIND

“Are you sure about us being the judges?”

To be completely honest, I had been a bit surprised too when Myungjun had taken me to a huge dressing room and two of his unit’s members, Bin and Miyeon, were there waiting for us. But as Myungjun had rationalized his thoughts, I did understand him. He was the groom – as much as I hated the word and the fact – it would be inappropriate for him to be the one judging the dresses or even seeing the dress on me before the wedding. Honestly it couldn’t have mattered less for me, since I didn’t marry him for my feelings but for my gang's benefit, but I thought it would be the best for me to just do what I was told and for once, not make any trouble.

Still, I could understand Miyeon who had asked the question the moment we had walked into the dressing room. Her eyes were round and big and her arms were crossed on her chest. Bin had been completely silent, but the slight wrinkle between his eyebrows exposed his confusion too.

“I thought it would be good to have two perspectives, both male and female”, Myungjun had said, shrugging his shoulders before making sure the two wouldn’t leave me, and then walked out of the room.

At first I felt very uncomfortable. I could feel Miyeon staring at me with a burning glare. Our temperaments clashed very powerfully so as I had thought earlier, getting friendly might take some time. Besides, seeing how much time this girl seemed to spend with Myungjun, there might also be some jealousy behind the glare in her eyes. Bin, anyhow, didn’t seem to care about such things, and gently pushed me closer to the clothing racks, urging me to start going through the dresses and choosing a few that pleased my eyes.

I wasn’t sure if I should have been surprised by the fact this huge, luxurious dressing room could be found inside the gang’s – or corporation’s, as Myungjun and his father preferred to say – headquarters. I mean, the building was huge, but an actual dressing room with numerous clothing racks and high-end design decoration? Well, I guess there were weddings or other big, important parties held at the corporation so this kind of space was needed. But all this seemed like showing off this gang was actually wealthy and money wasn’t a problem – and to be honest, that did piss me off a little bit. I was used to living in poverty, with minimum luxuries under the ground, and I had lived just well without having tons of money and material.

As I had picked four dresses that I found the most fitting for me, two women with maiden-like outfits helped me bring the dresses to a smaller space separated from the bigger room by a thick curtain. I felt a bit startled and embarrassed as the women helped me get out of my clothes and change into the first dress.  It was made from very soft silk which felt a bit cool on my warm skin, and I shivered a bit looking at myself from the mirror. The dress left my shoulders and back uncovered and bare, which I found really uncomfortable. As the curtain was pushed aside, I got mixed reactions from Bin and Miyeon.

“You actually look beautiful when you’re dressed like this”, Bin stated, smiling at me.

“This is definitely not the right one”, Miyeon said with a blank voice, staring at me like she was throwing me a challenge. “It doesn’t fit you at all.”

I glared back at Miyeon. I guess her mission was to try to piss me off, challenging me - how long can you stand the evil comments? Well, she might have not known it but I had been hearing evil comments for the last three years. I wouldn’t be shaken very easily. Besides, what she said was true. I didn’t feel comfortable in the dress, whereas it didn’t look good on me. I stepped back, the curtain was closed again and I was helped to put on the next dress. I had never been trying on dresses like this, so I had never known how tiring it could be. Wedding dresses were actually very hard to put on.

The second dress was more traditional with short sleeves and a huge hem that made my waist look very tiny. Grabbing the hem, I took a step forward, waiting for the next comments I’d get from the judges.

“Too big”, Miyeon stated immediately as the curtain was slid to side. “This kind of glamour doesn’t suit you.”

“Aren’t you being a bit too harsh, Miyeon?” Bin snorted. “I think it looks amazing.”

“She could come out wearing a trash bag and you’d say the same thing”, Miyeon sighed and I couldn’t help but to smile a little bit. As harsh as Miyeon’s words were, she was speaking the truth. I returned to behind the curtain once again, starting to get tired from the changing and heels that I had to wear.

The next dress was my personal favourite. It had a long hem, but not too long. It had full sleeves made of lace, and the lace decorations continued from the sleeves all the way to the hem. It didn’t feel too uncomfortable or heavy on me, and as the curtain slid away as I stepped in front of my judges, I actually hoped they’d say it looked good. Not just because I liked it, but also because I was getting exhausted and I felt hunger growling in my stomach. It was close to 9pm and I had only eaten breakfast today. It wouldn’t be very nice to faint here.

I glanced at Miyeon. Her eyes were narrow, her arms were crossed on her chest, and I could see a slight pout on her lips. She was really thinking. Bin, then again, seemed to have lost his thoughts. He just stared at me, his mouth slightly open, seemingly not even thinking about saying something. For once I actually felt a bit confident in my looks.

“Well?” I asked as Miyeon hadn’t said anything yet. “Hurry up, I’m getting dizzy.”

“I couldn’t have guessed”, the girl said, rolling her eyes. “You’re as white as a sheet.”

“It looks beautiful”, Bin managed to get out of his mouth. “I mean you, not the dress. No, the dress looks pretty too...”

Miyeon snorted. “Boys… Anyway, the old style fits you quite well.”

I raised an eyebrow towards the girl. Did she mean I seemed old-fashioned?

“I mean vintage. It suits you”, she said, shrugging her shoulders. “I’d take this one if I were you.”

I glanced at Bin who nodded quickly and passionately. I turned around to look at my reflection on the mirror. The dress was really beautiful. Simple enough but it still had its own class to it. I nodded by myself.

“Miss?” one of the women who had helped me dress up asked. “Does it please you? Will you take it?”

After hesitating for a second, I nodded. “Yes. I’ll take it.”

The women quickly made some measurements before helping me change to my own clothes – the dress had to be shortened a bit, and also the waist was a bit loose so they’d make it narrower. After that I got to slid the curtain aside for the last time, just to see Bin and Miyeon had already left the room.

I was about to leave the room as well when suddenly I felt the room starting to rotate around me and had to close my eyes for a moment. As I slowly tried to open them and the rotation continued, I stumbled to the comfy design sofa Bin and Miyeon had been sitting on, and sat down, burying my head into my hands and waiting for the dizziness to go away. What’s wrong with me? This was odd, I usually didn’t tend to get very dizzy or nauseous if I didn’t eat for hours. Maybe it had something to do with the fact I had been experiencing so many exhausting feelings today, and to add that with the fact I hadn’t eaten anything in 12 hours…

“Are you finished?” I heard Myungjun’s voice behind me. I opened my eyes slowly, testing if I was alright now. I couldn’t really focus my eyes on anything yet, but at least the dizziness was gone. I got up from the sofa carefully and turned around to face the boy who was standing at the dressing room’s doors. He raised a brow at me.

“Yeah, all ready”, I sighed and walked past him into the hallway. “I need food.”

“Do you want me to ask the cooks to bring something to your room?” Myungjun asked.

As much as I hated the playful, challenging tone in the boy’s voice, I was exhausted and had no energy to fight with him, so I just nodded and continued walking. We walked in silence and stepped into an elevator, where I could just lean against the cool surface or the mirror wall. I could hear my stomach growling in anger. How could you ignore me like this? That seemed to be its message for me. I sighed and closed my eyes.

“Hey”, Myungjun’s voice echoed in my ears. “You don’t seem alright. Can I leave you alone for the night?”

“Shut up”, I sighed. “I’m not in the mood for playing around.”

“Like you’d ever be”, he snorted. “I could nurse you all night like they do on TV.”

“You can film a drama by yourself”, I hissed and glared at the boy before stepping out of the elevator and with shaky steps walking towards the apartment Myungjun’s unit lived in. As I got to the door, I had to sigh in embarrassment and wait for Myungjun to come and press the door code onto the lock – I had no idea of the code. I’d need to ask for it later. I managed to get into the apartment and walked to the door of my room with steps that became weaker and shorter with every step I took. I was mad at myself. I didn’t want to be weak. It was my fault I hadn’t eaten anything. But then again, I hadn’t had the time for that. As I pushed the door open, I felt my balance disappear for a second and I felt myself starting to fall down.

Anyhow, Myungjun was there to catch me before I actually fell down. It annoyed me it had to be him, but I was also thankful because it he wasn’t there, I would have probably fallen and hurt myself. Heck, I must’ve been really weak since my reflexes weren’t working at all.

“Carefully”, he said. “You don’t want to break a leg before our wedding.”

I didn’t bother to eve glare at him so I just sighed and walked into the room, trying to get rid of Myungjun who was holding onto me and helping me to get to my bed and sat me down. I stared at him with a questioning look – why wasn’t he leaving. Turns out he was looking around the room, paying attention to every little detail on the patterns of the walls and on the desk and the shelves.

“Do you like the room?” he asked.

I shrugged my shoulders and crossed my arms. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Not that it matters though”, Myungjun chuckled. “We’re getting our own room once we’re officially married.”

I didn’t want to show the sudden words had startled me a little bit but couldn’t prevent my eyes from enlarging a little bit. Our own room? We’d have to share a bedroom, possibly even a bed. I took a deep breath. I hope Yikyung will get me out of here as soon as possible, I thought in my mind, not noticing how Myungjun slowly sat next to me on the bed. As I actually felt the mattress sinking down a little bit, I turned to stare at the boy. His chestnut hair was messy and moist; he must’ve taken a shower before coming to get me from the dressing room. He had a mischievous smirk on his face and I rolled my eyes the moment he opened his mouth.

“Not that the wedding ceremony matters”, he chuckled as he slowly leaned closer to me. “I mean; we are already married on paper…”

I sighed in frustration and raised my hand, hitting the boy on the back of his neck, making him flinch further and step up. I glared at him. “Don’t mess with me. To remind you, I was the best fighter in my unit.”

“I was just playing around!” the boy said, massaging his neck. “Besides, you don’t look that powerful right now.”

I was getting angry. It probably had something to do with the exhaustion and hunger. Also, it angered me even more that Myungjun was right. But still, I had enough energy to groan in anger and get up from the bed, rushing towards the boy who was smirking at me with such an arrogant expression I wanted to punch him. I was too tired to actually fight him so he easily dodged my first attack and grabbed my wrist, trying to stop me. I flashed him a poisonous glare and kicked him on his calf, making him flinch with sudden pain and his grab on my wrist loosened. I managed to get free and was about to place a punch on the boy’s stomach to end the small fight, but as my fist was just millimetres away from his stomach, he managed to grab my shoulders and push me down on my bed, pinning me down to the mattress. The sudden action didn’t only surprise me, but also made my headache return and the room started rotating around me again. I couldn’t fight back.

“I’m sorry, miss Best, but you’re too weak to even fight”, he stated, smirking at me, hovering over my body. “I think you should just rest now.”

He got up from the bed, leaving me just lying there, weak and exhausted. I heard the boy exit the room and at the door he turned around to say his last words for me that day. “I’ll order you something to eat.”

I was too exhausted to think or even get angry at Myungjun. I closed my eyes, trying to make the dizziness go away and tried to empty my mind. I guess I dozed off for a few minutes because the next time I opened my eyes, Myungjun was once again leaving my room. This time I could smell food, though, and I immediately got up. There were various plates placed on my desk, and I could see the steam coming up from the hot plates. I heard my stomach letting out the noisiest growl yet, and I started stuffing my mouth, swallowing without even tasting.

Even though I slowly felt the hunger leaving my body with time, I still felt like crap. I don’t think I have ever fallen asleep as quickly as I did that evening.

Waking up the next morning felt… different. The room was all bright, beams of sunlight that lightened the winter morning were pushing inside the room from behind the closed blinds on the window. This was unusual for me. I was used to the complete darkness in the underground tunnels. Waking up back there was just blackness, or if Chanmi had woken up before me, I could just see concrete walls in the dim lightning. But as weird and new this was, it also felt somewhat nice. I didn’t have to rush anywhere; I could just lie down on the bed for another hour if I wanted. But that wasn’t in my nature, so I pushed the blanket off my body and grabbed my phone to see the clock. It was just 9am, but taking into consideration I had gone to bed after 9pm, I had slept for almost 12 hours which would have been impossible in the tunnels. I put the phone away and carefully, not really knowing if my condition was better than the evening before, stretched my body.

I got up from the bed and the feeling of a warm, wooden floor under my bare legs almost surprised me. I was so used to quickly dressing up because the walls and the floor in the tunnels were just ice cold concrete. This was different. Of course this kind of buildings had electric heating systems. I walked to the window to open the curtains and then stopped to admire the view that opened before me. There were huge, fancy buildings, neat streets and a large park in front of the skyscraper. Looking further, I could see the Han river flowing.

Letting out an unsure sigh, I backed away from the window, stepping out of the room. I headed to the kitchen and wasn’t even a bit surprised to see the unit members there. Miyeon, Bin and Minhyuk were enjoying their breakfast around the table, chatting about something. Myungjun, however, I couldn’t see. He must’ve received a mission early in the morning.

“Good morning!” Minhyuk greeted me with a smile on his face as he noticed me walking to the kitchen.

“Morning, Aeri”, Bin said, flashing me a smirk. “Did you sleep well?”

It felt almost weird to hear him call my name in such a friend-like way. We had only met twice, and not to mention the fact we hadn’t really had a real conversation yet. Besides, it was highly possible this guy was fairly younger than me. I’d need to find out the ages of these people so that I’d know the actual hierarchy here.

“Yeah”, I replied and sat down. “I did.”

“I heard you didn’t feel very well yesterday”, Miyeon said. “You should’ve told us you hadn’t eaten.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “It wasn’t a big deal.”

“Myungjun said you almost fainted”, Bin stated. I glanced at him and sighed. I wasn’t used to strangers talking to me like this. I wasn’t used to showing my weakness to strangers. Everything seemed so complicated for some reason.

“Hey”, Miyeon said. “I know you’re not exactly happy about your situation. But at least understand that we’re trying to be friendly to you. You’re our leader’s fiancée which means you’re also part of our unit. I’m sure you know trust and respect are the most important things in a unit.”

I looked up at Miyeon who was getting up from the table and I flashed an angry glare at her. “Are you calling your behaviour friendly? You’ve been huffing and snapping at me since I came here! If you want me to see you as a friend, act like you mean it!”

For a short fraction of a second I could see fury in the girl’s eyes but then it quickly withered away into a shocked expression. I couldn’t help but to let out a silent chuckle. I knew it. This girl was spoiled; she wasn’t used to people talking back at her. I could have just ended this there, but I didn’t. I kept the eye contact, I kept staring at her until she blinked a few times and quickly headed out of the kitchen.

I let out a sigh and grabbed my chopsticks. Bin and Minhyuk turned to stare at me like I had just done something spectacular. I probably had.

“She’ll remember that”, Minhyuk said quietly. “I don’t know if it’s good or bad.”

I glanced at the boy with a questioning look.

“She might respect you now”, Bin stated. “Or hate you. A lot.”

“I don’t mind”, I replied as I stuffed my face. I hadn’t eaten real Korean-style breakfast in a long time. Just bread, cereal, eggs and bacon. “I’m used to having enemies.”

Bin looked at me and I could see a hesitating look in his eyes. “But what she said was actually true. I wish you could feel at home here. This is your home now.”

Bin’s words echoed in my ears for a good minute and I couldn’t help but to feel a bit guilty. That was indeed what these people thought. But for me, this was completely different. For me this was just a mission. I had no idea when and how Yikyung could release me from this place and get me back into the tunnels. I just had to hope that for once I could trust her and be sure that she’d keep her promise.

That, anyhow, was the thing that puzzled me the most. She had hated me for years. Why would she help me out of this mess?