CHAPTER 17: DOWNFALL

Even though falling asleep the night before had seemed like the hardest task in my life, I managed to do so and got the best sleep in a while. The whole night, without nightmares, without waking up or falling to the floor from the bed. That’s why I was a little bit confused while waking up the next morning. The beams of sunlight dancing on my closed eyelids almost surprised me – was it morning already? I felt like I had just fallen asleep. Then I noticed that I was feeling quite hot. Not in an uncomfortable way, it wasn’t too bad, but the feeling was unfamiliar to me.

I slowly opened my eyes and almost jumped back as I realized I was lying on my side, face-to-face with Myungjun, whose face was just inches away from me. I blinked my eyes a few times. He seemed to be asleep, his eyes were closed and his breathing was deep but steady. I tried to roll on my back only to realize that the unfamiliar hot feeling around me was because of Myungjun’s arms that were wrapped around me. I felt myself blushing a little bit. How long had we slept like this? I glanced at the sleeping boy again. For my surprise, I saw the corner of his mouth slowly curving upwards. He was awake! I let out a sigh.

“I’m going to hit you if you don’t let go of me”, I threatened quietly.

“What did you say? I didn’t hear”, the boy mumbled, pretending to sleep.

I sighed and managed to free one of my hands from under Myungjun’s arm, raising it, ready to punch the boy’s chest – not too hard, just to make him let go. I didn’t succeed, though, as the boy’s eyes opened and with a smirk he rolled on his back, arms still wrapped around me. I felt myself moving with him, softly falling on top of him and my head landing on his chest. I looked at him and pouted a little bit.

“Why would you hit me first thing in the morning?” he asked, still smirking.

I let out a sigh and tried to wriggle away from him, but his hold on me just tightened.

“You should leave the rough stuff for later”, he stated and winked at me.

I flashed him a glare but as the boy still didn’t want to let go of me, I just decided to give up and lie there for a moment. It was pretty clear that Myungjun was enjoying himself – he was finally allowed to be close to me and express his feelings that he had been implying for a while. I, though, was feeling a bit unsure. Judging from my actions the day before and last night, it was quite obvious I had feelings for him too. Still, I couldn’t help but to feel a bit guilty for my feelings. I had caused so much harm for both my previous gang and this corporation and their people just because I wanted to listen to my heart rather than my brains. I let out a sigh.

“What are you thinking about?” Myungjun asked. His other hand had found its way to my hair and he was gently playing with it. I felt myself blushing at the action.

“Nothing”, I said quietly. I got a silent hum as a reply.

After a while I was finally able to get up. I did what I had always done first in the morning – I checked my phone. This morning that move was, anyhow, different. Just as I saw I had gotten multiple messages from a particular someone and opened them, the phone left my hand and fell on the floor. The sound of the phone’s screen falling against the hardwood floor echoed in the room as I let out a gasp and had to sit back down on the bed. Myungjun was up right away, rushing next to me.

“What? What’s wrong, Aeri?” he asked.

I shook my head, still in panic. “She’s crazy. She has lost her mind.”

Myungjun didn’t understand a word of what I was saying so he picked the phone from the floor. The screen had multiple cracks from the sudden fall but the photos I had been sent could be seen quite clearly. Photos of my beloved little sister, unconscious, blood smeared on her face, tied up onto a chair, tape covering . They had hurt my Chanmi. And this was all my fault.

“This is your sister, right?” Myungjun asked. I could sense the worry in his voice.

I nodded. “That witch is testing me. She’s trying to summon me there.”

I could feel my voice shaking. I turned to look at Myungjun, whose expression was dead serious. I wondered what he was thinking. I frowned. Yikyung was trying to make me return, worried for Chanmi, and get myself killed. Right now I was so angry, so furious, the woman was close to getting what she wanted. If I hadn’t had the last bits of my intelligence with me, I wouldn’t have hesitated. I would have gotten up and rushed right back to the tunnels, probably dying the moment I stepped to the underground.

“I’ll call dad”, Myungjun stated. “He’ll know what actions we should take.”

I nodded. I was shaking so badly I couldn’t even speak. I listened to the boy, calling his father and speaking with him for a while.

“Hi, dad. Yes, I know but we have an emergency here. It’s about Aeri, or her sister, actually. That woman is keeping the girl as a prisoner, she’s threatening Aeri. Yeah, I know. That’s why I called you.”

The call seemed to last for minutes and minutes and minutes. I sat on the bed, thinking of all the possible ways to torture Yikyung before killing her. She had taken my father away from me, she had blackmailed me into this marriage and leaving the gang and now that I didn’t want to return, she was going to take my sister away from me too. She deserved to die. I wasn’t sure if I was strong enough to actually be able to kill someone but what I knew for sure was that she needed to die.

“Are you sure?” I heard Myungjun ask. He glanced at me. “Alright then. I’ll take Aeri there.”

The next couple of hours were hectic. I had to ask and beg for Myungjun to tell me what was going on for a long time before he agreed to tell me. His father was going to hold a meeting about me and Chanmi, a meeting with Yikyung. The CEO had allowed the woman take a couple of her subordinates with her, as well as he would be taking me, Myungjun and Bin with him. Even though the man had promised to Yikyung to not bring anyone else, he had stated afterwards that he’d be playing dirty this time by securing the area the meeting would be held on, just in case, just for our safety.

The meeting was held in the corporation’s previous building that had been empty for several years now – Myungjun told me the house was sometimes used for training since it was old and had a lot of staircases and empty rooms and places to hide and climb. Sometimes it also served as a place for risky meetings like this one. Mr. Kim had wanted to make sure the media wouldn’t catch on our doings so we took a different car than normally, this one’s windows were pitch black from the outside so we wouldn’t be seen in any case.

It had, to be honest, been shocking for me how much the media actually followed us. I hadn’t seen anyone following us or taking pictures, but from time to time I saw articles and pictures about the corporation or even about me and Myungjun, in newspapers or online. There had been a picture of me and Myungjun stepping to the car on our wedding day, on our way to the airport. There had been a picture of us enjoying our honeymoon in Jeju. There had even been a picture of us in the amusement park we had visited.

As we sat in the car, I could feel my stomach growling. I hadn’t been able to eat any breakfast. Even if I had eaten, I’d have probably thrown up already because of my nervousness, my worry and my anger. I sat in the middle of the car’s back seat, Myungjun and Bin at my sides. I glanced at Myungjun who sat next to me, looking very puzzled himself. I sighed. So much worries and trouble just because of me. Bin’s face didn’t reveal his thoughts but he must’ve been thinking hard too.

As we arrived at the building, my first thought was that I saw four people standing at the building’s main door. Yikyung had brought three with her, just like Mr. Kim had. I took a deep breath as I realized she had brought my whole unit – previous unit, at that. Which meant Eunwoo would be there. I glanced at the boys accompanying me. They both had some bad blood with Eunwoo. This meeting might go very wrong. I gulped as we approached the others.

“To be honest”, my father-in-law started as we were getting closer. “I’m very disappointed at the fact we’re standing here today.”

“And who is the one we should blame about this?” Yikyung asked, flashing us a wicked smile. Damn, she was striking back right away.

“I have a feeling that person is standing before me”, Mr. Kim stated and crossed his arms against his chest.

The tension, oh the tension. It was so high. My muscles were all tensed up and without even realizing, my shoulders had risen up. This was bad. I wasn’t supposed to show my fear. I was supposed to be the confident, cocky myself.

I glanced my old unit members. Jinwoo and Sanha were eyeing me and the people accompanying me, looking unsure. Like they were hesitating, whether to hate me or not, whether to think of us as enemies or not. Eunwoo, then again, had noticed Bin. At first there was a shocked look in his eyes but he quickly fixed it into a glare. Bin didn’t seem too fond of the idea of losing the staring battle so he was responding to the glare with his own. I was feeling uncomfortable and felt myself moving closer to Myungjun, whose eyes hadn’t left Eunwoo even for a second. I was almost shocked at his expression. What I could see was a real death glare.

“Well”, Yikyung opened again. “How are we going to solve this situation?”

I looked at the woman who was staring straight into my eyes. She was glaring at me? Well, I had every right in the world to glare back at her. I tried to give her the message – I hated her from the bottom of my heart, and she needed to feel that in her skin.

“Aeri”, the woman called my name, smirking at my direction. “I’m giving you a one last chance to return. After this it’s really going to be war.”

I barely could stop myself from snorting. One last chance? She’d have killed me already if I did return in the morning. Besides, it had been war between us since the day she blackmailed me the first time. I believed none of her words. So, I just tilted my head and glared at the woman poisonously.

“I’m going to stay”, I stated proudly, raising my chin a little bit.

The wicked smile slowly withered away from Yikyung’s face. She responded to my continuous glare and let out a sigh. “Are you really ready to sacrifice your sister for your own happiness?”

I felt the urge to look away but defeated it, as I didn’t dare to stop glaring at the woman. This question was very hard. I wasn’t planning on sacrificing Chanmi. She was my little sister, my only blood related family. I needed her in my life in a way or another. But the fact was I had been driven into a dead end. I didn’t know how I’d be able to save my sister from the tunnels. I was even more helpless now that she had been captured and tied up. The thought of the pictures Yikyung had sent me made my blood boil with fury. I was angry at myself. Angry at the fact I couldn’t answer the witch’s question in any way.

“As I said, it’ll be war from now on”, Yikyung hissed. “We will see how this will end.”

With those words been said, she grinned coolly at Mr. Kim before snorting a little bit and walking away. Jinwoo stared at me with a hesitant look and I could swear I saw an apologetic gleam in his eyes. Then he exited the building, following Yikyung. Sanha was quick to step after them. My eyes wandered to Eunwoo who was now staring straight at me – he had gotten enough of battling Bin or Myungjun with his eyes. For my surprise his expression was soft and made my heart ache. This was the boy I had grown up with, my best friend, my first love. My enemy.

“Aeri”, he called out my name quietly, with a soft voice.

Mr. Kim seemed to understand we had things to talk about so he made a subtle exit from the building. Me, Myungjun, Bin and Eunwoo remained in the shaggy room.

I frowned against my own will. This was too sad. “I wish things could go back to the way they were.”

“They could, really”, the boy replied quickly. “Please, return home.”

I stared at the boy and could feel tears forming in my eyes. I couldn’t speak. I had really changed during the weeks I had lived within the corporation’s building. I had become too soft.

“She can’t”, I heard Bin’s voice say quietly from behind me. “And she won’t.”

“Why are you speaking instead of her?” Eunwoo asked, staring at his old friend coldly. “Stay out of things that are not your business.”

I could feel the tension rising up again, as the boys glared at each other. I took a step back and felt my side brushing against Myungjun. I turned to glance at him. He was looking at me and I could see hesitation in his eyes. Not hesitation towards me but towards Eunwoo. I blinked my eyes. He was holding himself back.

“Aeri”, Eunwoo said again. “You could still return. You could start again from the beginning. We could go back to what we were.”

“No, you couldn’t”, Myungjun finally opened his mouth and stepped forward. “She’s mine now.”

My eyes wandered back to my husband. In that moment, he did look cool, even though I didn’t think of such things in that situation. Still, it was undeniable. Even though Eunwoo was significantly taller than him, he seemed very thin and small when he was standing against Myungjun, who was exuding with charisma and confidence.

Eunwoo looked past Myungjun, his eyes finding me again. “Please.”

Only now I realized how desperate and pathetic he looked in this moment. He was begging me to return. This wasn’t the same confident, intelligent Eunwoo I had grown up with. I let out a deep sigh. I’d need to make it clear to him.

“You said it yourself”, I said quietly. “You’ve lost me. You turned your back on me that morning, leaving me alone when I needed you the most.”

I’ve lost you. We all lost you. I couldn’t have believed this from you. Those were the words that left me crying and heartbroken that one morning not too long ago. Did Eunwoo think I had forgotten that? I still felt weak thinking of it! I let my stare get stronger until I was really, actually glaring at the boy I had never thought I’d be able to hate. Well, maybe hate was a bit too strong of a word. But there was definitely some sort of dislike now.

As Myungjun took one last step closer to the boy who immediately backed away, Eunwoo seemed to take the hint. He frowned but proceeded to walk past us, leaving the building and heading to his own way.

I let out a deep sigh. I felt weak. I must’ve been faltering visually since Myungjun gently grabbed my arm, making sure I’d be able to stand on my feet.

“You did well”, he whispered. “You held back very well.”

I felt my legs giving up. Eunwoo had once said the exact same words to me. It was the day Eunwoo and I had been sitting in that damned coffee shop and I had held back my anger towards Myungjun who had ruined my mission. To think now the same boy was repeating those words, and the person I held back my emotions because of Eunwoo. Things had really gone upside down.

As we returned home the brainstorming immediately started. How to save Chanmi from the tunnels? Even though Mr. Kim had been against violence and attacks all the time up to now, he was the first one to suggest it. It wouldn’t include many people. If possible, it would only stay between me, Yikyung, my old unit and Myungjun’s unit. We’d need a bait. And after that, we’d make a quick attack to the tunnels. I’d be in the lead because I knew the underground the best. It was almost ironic. Me, the best in my previous unit, was now helping to lead an attack to the tunnels. I felt like I was actually made a member of Myungjun’s unit. I hadn’t been on a mission in a long time, excluding the one I joined Bin on. But until now, I hadn’t been a part of any unit within the corporation. Now it really felt like I was. Even though making an attack plan made me feel sad, it also made me more energetic because I actually had something to do and not just sit and wait for something to happen.

The day passed quickly enough. Myungjun and I ate late dinner together with Bin, Minhyuk and Miyeon. It was clear we were all quite tensed up so we added some beer cans to the table and surprisingly enough got the conversation flowing. It had been a long time since I had last even tasted any alcohol. Maybe that was one of the reasons I started to feel a bit funny just after two cans.

After dinner Myungjun and I returned to our room, sitting on the floor, just talking and drinking. At some point the conversation started going quite deep – I don’t know whether or not it had something to do with the fact that we had emptied a couple of beer cans already. The cans were lying around messily on the floor but we were too tired to care.

“Did you and Eunwoo really date?” Myungjun asked at some point.

I sighed and shook my head. “No. We were best friends; we grew up together. At some point he started liking me though.”

The boy but his empty beer can on the floor. “Did you like him?”

I nodded. “To be honest, I liked him when I moved here. But then he turned his back on me.”

“Do you like me then?” the boy suddenly asked.

I felt myself blushing. “Well… yes.”

A wide smile spread on Myungjun’s face. He chuckled and looked down. I tilted my head and looked at him. He looked cute. His chestnut hair had become a little bit messy during the day, he was wearing a comfy sweatshirt and trackpants and his cheeks had a slight red colour on them. He must’ve been a bit drunk too.

“Why do you like me?” I blurted out, still staring at me.

The boy flashed a smile at me. “You’re violent and evil. You say mean things and boss me around. You bad girl.”

Myungjun laughed and I couldn’t help but to join him. It was true. I did treat him badly at first. But he wasn’t that nice either. I frowned at him playfully. “I should be thankful to have you. You’re so handsome and tall.”

The boy pouted a little bit but the sad expression quickly changed into a smirk. “You’re playing with fire, Aeri… I might be short but that makes me quick.”

I jumped up as the boy rushed towards me, following me and starting to tickle my sides. I let out a high pitched cry and started giggling hysterically. I managed to run away and hide behind the closet’s door. Laughing, Myungjun followed me. I pushed the door towards him and escaped again. From time to time his hands found my sides and tickled me again, making me giggle harder and run away again. I jumped over our bed, landing on the floor again. I realized I was in a dead end. There was a window behind me but I couldn’t go the other way without getting caught.

“What are you going to do now?” Myungjun asked, smirking and raising his eyebrows.

I frowned at him and decided to try jumping over the bed again, trying to slide past him and run to the room’s other corner. I got caught in the action, Myungjun’s hands finding my sides again and the quick, continuous tickles made me lose my balance. The boy didn’t let me fall but held my waist as I slowly landed on my back on the bed. I was still giggling and squirming around.

Slowly the tickled slowed down and stopped. The situation had changed from a playful tickling battle to something entirely different. I was lying on my back, staring at Myungjun who was half-lying on top of me, hands placed on the mattress on both sides of my head. There was tension in the air, even if I was tipsy I could feel that. Myungjun stare was piercing and seemed to see all through me. I slowly wrapped my hands around the boy’s neck. I felt the boy’s muscles tensing up.

“We’re not in the right state of mind, Aeri”, he said quietly.

“I don’t care”, I whispered.

I could see something gleaming in the boy’s eyes. He was slowly approaching me, closing the space between us. I tilted my head a little bit. It was like electricity sparkling around as our lips touched. I closed my eyes and pulling Myungjun closer, deepening the kiss. Myungjun was leaning against his other hand as he let the other one slowly wander down and land on my waist. The move made butterflies fly in my stomach. But there was something else too… was this happiness?

Our lips moved together in the same rhythm, like we were made for each other. I buried my fingers in Myungjun’s hair and he hummed into the kiss. Suddenly it hit me. Here I was, making out with Myungjun, feeling all happy. I wasn’t allowed to feel happy, not now. My sister was tied up in a dark dungeon, probably getting tortured. And I was doing this. My conscience started knocking and I pulled away from the kiss, my eyes widening, panting as tears formed in my eyes.

Myungjun stared at me. “Aeri? What’s wrong?”

I sniffed. “You’re right. I’m a bad girl.”

Then I started crying. Tears were flowing, falling down from my cheeks. I wasn’t even embarrassed by the ugly sobbing in front of Myungjun. I didn’t care. I was just so broken. I didn’t know how much I spent crying on the bed, but Myungjun didn’t leave me. He was lying on his side, holding me in his arms, whispering sweet nothings into my ears, trying to comfort me, calm me down.

“You’re not bad”, he whispered. “You’re good. You’re smart, beautiful, intelligent, strong. And even strong people feel weak sometimes. That’s how it’s supposed to be. That means you’re a human. And that makes you good.”

The words couldn’t stop me from crying but they, for sure, made me feel a lot better. I leaned against Myungjun’s chest as I kept sobbing. I was running out of time and energy. I felt so lucky I had Myungjun by my side. Even though I was extremely sad and scared, I was happy to be with Myungjun in this moment. As he was my hair, keeping on whispering me the sweet nothings, I eventually fell asleep in his arms.