01.

Lacerta

There was something intrinsically beautiful about the way he held his posture. It made Chen feel inadequate above all. Not that it made any difference. He stared down at his coffee and wondered what would happen if he stood up right now and shouted his lungs out. It was a thought that occupied him often. He would be seen, noticed. It was peculiar to both want and not want something like that to happen. Chen felt invisible most of the time, but could not bear the smallest suspicion of him being watched by others.

Besides, there was no point staring at random strangers who were totally unaware of, of well almost anything. Chen wondered why he bothered to even nurture the desire to want friends. He had abandoned most of his former ones voluntarily. Just like that. One day he had friends, the next they were all gone.

It was hard going to class with the amount of problems he faced. So he had decided to at least show up at the library from time to time. Just to be amongst people. Chen could not face the reality of locking himself in his dorm room, cut away from society. The library and the grocery store were the only things that kept him sane sometimes.

Not that any life changing things happened sitting there at the table staring at the books he needed to study. Sometimes a person would talk to him from time to time. Just small talk, nothing too special. They were moments Chen cherished, for he felt proud the conversation did not turn into a complete disaster. Talking was difficult. Chen felt like he had no voice most of the time.

School was something he needed to finish no matter what. Too much he had to put into it already. Using the mental illness card to run away from his problems was something he had sworn not to do anymore. It felt like admitting defeat somehow. There were lots of moments he experienced that feeling. Chen tried to avoid it as much as possible.

Regardless, the person standing on the far end of the room kept his attention. Chen liked the way he looked more than he cared to admit. Though, the only reason he started caring about his presence was not the mere shallow aspects of life. This went deeper. Well, it mostly had to do about the seat next to Chen being the only empty chair available. Exams were getting relentlessly closer. Chen waited for the guy to realize.

"Excuse me," The guy eventually had to ask. Chen had left his jacket hanging on the empty chair for the sole purpose of it being a conversation starter. But not like this, not with this person. He seemed too...well...too well adjusted to society and its mandatory customs.

"Oh, yes. I'm sorry." Chen took his jacket, his eyes gliding back to the book he was reading. He actually read more novels at the library than actual study books.

"Thanks," And with that, he took a seat next to Chen and did absolutely nothing for the next hour. There was a math textbook in front of him on the table, but his eyes were more interested in his phone than anything else.

It did not bother Chen. He kept himself busy with a copy of Journey to the center of the Earth by Jules Verne. It was a thin but utterly enjoyable novel. One he could lose himself in.

He could sense the guy's eyes having a try to tell what Chen was reading. Once he succeeded, Chen spotted his lips form a small grin. Maybe, Chen thought, the guy knew what it was about. Or maybe he was just mocking him for reading an actual book in a library filled with cramming students.

Chen needed to read. He had a bad week ahead of him. Bad weeks usually