Mina knew many things.
(Trigger warning just in case: touches on sensitive personal issues)

Word count: 945 words

Mina’s eyes were hard and cold as she stared at the scissors held near her left wrist.

Should I do it again?

There was no visible expression on her face. A huge contrast to the pain and suffocation she felt within her.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, before putting the scissors away back into her drawer.

Mina, you’re stronger than this.

She clasped her hands together tight and shut her eyes, leaning her forehead against her hands. The first tears fell.

Mina had always been shy, and she was poor at expressing herself. She had been like that for as long as she remembers. So when she realized that she was entering a college that none of her closest friends were going to, she knew it would be hard.

If only she knew it would be this hard.

It had been months since the year started. Mina tried her very best to make new friends, but her personality just would not allow her to easily get close to any. Granted, she had a few friends (ex-schoolmates) whom she got closer to after entering college, but that did not change the fact that she felt lonely.

It did not make things any better that her roommate, an ex-schoolmate she had never interacted with prior to this, never returns to the room. She was a nice girl, Mina knew, but once she started dating and never came back to the room other than to shower and take her things, all Mina felt was increasing hurt by the day. It was unintentional, but this just made Mina feel lonelier every day.

Mina cried. She held herself together for months, but recently it seemed to be unbearable. She attributed her increase in negative feelings to the rising stress levels she was facing, but she knew it was more than that.

She knew, but no one else did.

***

Mina walked along the corridor, not interacting with anyone save for small smiles directed at acquaintances she knew.

It was like this everyday. She would walk alone, while watching people who are happily laughing with their friends.

Were people judging me for always being alone? Do they think I am weird, that’s why I have no friends? Mina often wondered. Walking alone never felt good, for she always felt judged.

Oh how she missed her high school friends.

Arriving at the bus stop, Mina quickly fished out her phone to send a quick text to her group of friends. Her only group.

“Hey, want to have dinner together?”
 

It was only when she got on the bus did she get a reply.

“Sorry, I’ve got meeting.”

“Sorry, I need to study for a test.”

“Sorry, I’ve made dinner plans already.”

She sighed. Of course her friends have other friends, and other things to do. She understood, she really did. But that did not stop her from feeling disappointed.

But she knew, it was all her fault for not making more friends after all.

***
 

If there was one thing that Mina questioned the most often, it would be: Why can’t I just be okay with being alone?

Really, being alone was not anything wrong or weird, but Mina just could not help feeling lonely. Perhaps it was her personality. She craved alone time, yet too much of it was bad.

She sat on her chair. It was yet another day. Another day of her insecurities, fear, anxiety, loneliness. They were gradually consuming her, and she feels it. Everyday she embodies negativity. Negative thoughts about herself, negative ideas about others. And she hates it, she hates herself for becoming such a terrible person. All she really wanted was to be satisfied with herself, and think of everyone positively.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she thought of the person she had become. Hands shaking, she took out her phone and dialed a number. It’s not the first time she reached out, but maybe she would finally find the right person, someone who cared.

“Hello?”

“Hey.” Mina’s voice was soft, and there was a tremble in her words.

“Are you okay?”

There was a moment of silence in the conversation, and all that could be heard was Mina’s quick erratic breathing. “Not quite.”
 

“Where are you?”

“In my room.”

“I’ll be there.” The call was still on, but Mina could hear quick movements over on the other side. No one said a word afterwards, but neither of them hung up. Mina just clutched the phone close to her ear as tears readily streamed down her face. She was on her bed leaning against the wall, knees tucked in close to her chest.

There was a knock on the door, but Mina stayed still.

“Mina? It’s me.”

She did not move, but her sniffs were a form of response to the girl outside. The door opened, and Mina shifted her vision to look at the girl who came in.

“Momo,” Mina choked back a sob.

The mentioned girl swiftly went over and engulfed her in a hug. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Mina leaned into her embrace. “I don’t know, everything?”

Momo lifted her hand to caress Mina’s hair. “Mmm, shh, you’re not alone.”

With that, the feelings came to Mina at a full blast, and she was unable to hold back anymore. She shook in Momo’s embrace, letting out every bit of emotions that was haunting her.

And no words were exchanged. Momo simply drew circles around her back and gently rubbed it.

Mina knew lots of things, but it was at this moment that she realised there was something she never knew – she did not have to face this alone.
 

A/N: Sorry for the short story after more than a year of not posting anything. Formatting is a little weird too, but I don't really have the time to clean it. Exams are coming soon and I've got lots of things to do, but I just wanted to write something to let things out. Hope to find a Momo in my life too, haha.