FLASHBACK - SEOUL, 5 years ago.

When man had no power on earth, nature became the owner again. Hope thought about it when she saw how the beautiful blue flowers grew up again on the earth beneath those old railroad tracks in the mountains. It was so touching to think how the force of nature brought back to life those petals and roots surrounding through the wooden boards, and the strength of a rainy afternoon would make them grow more and more.

"Do you like it?" Minseok asked timidly.

There was something about him, so lovely under his hair falling over his forehead, the way he smiled and how the corner of his lip used to curl up, or the timidity way he talked to her when they were alone, or in that moment when he planned to confess what he felt for her after a year of friendship.

"I love it." Hope smiled at the place and then to him. "This place is so beautiful, Minseok. Thanks for bringing me here."

Hope was adorable when her eyes smiled too. They were full of life and Minseok wanted to be able to look at them without embarrassment himself when she noticed him doing it. Be more than friends would give him the freedom to hold her hand, to look into her eyes, or kissing the lips that always smiled at him.

"I'm glad you like it, Hope."

She always liked how he couldn't pronounce her name at first, when he used to say "Hop". But there was a moment when she laughed, saying "Houp" for him to do it too, in which there was a connection between them: as friends, as two inexperienced hearts in love that someday would seek for more.

The bus trip had taken an hour to the old train station, and although he was very busy during his last year as a trainer, Hope greatly appreciated the time he took to do that for her. In the last hour of the day, the sun was almost about to touch the horizon, and they walked towards the old station that was only a small wooden house, where behind, the bus would stop at any time soon.

"Hope?" He called, listening the anxiety in his own voice.

"Yes?" Hope stopped walking on the tracks to look at him.

Minseok stopped in front of her, feeling his heart race. Deep down, she could suspect what he could perhaps feel, after all she seemed to feel the same. That feeling when you like someone, or someone likes you. It's something that you could only feel in your own heart.

"Well, I..." Minseok bit his lip. "I would like to ask you something. In fact, there's something I'd like to confess you."

Confess was the key word that for some reason, made Hope's heart race too. Hope didn't want to delude herself with anything, she was sweet but not naive, but there was something in his eyes.

"What is it?"

Minseok took a deep breath, remembering the words he had practiced to tell her, but at the time he parted his lips to speak, a strong sound came from the sky and stopped his words, and then the raindrops they fell on them both. It was a beautiful sight at a bad time, but they laughed walking fast under the wooden roof of the bus station, from where Hope watched the rain fall.

She was a hiding beauty behind her vintage style...

"I really like you." He said quickly, drawing Hope's attention from the rain. "I like you a lot. I-- I feel that this was very natural. I felt, I feel there is something between us. So... I wanted to ask if you want to be my girlfriend."

Minseok bit his lip, painting his cheeks with a light pink color, but Hope's cheeks were no different. She liked being with him, listen to him talk and laugh, she liked everything about him. How kind he was, how sweet he was...

"Yes. I want to be your girlfriend."

People say that the first kiss is special, and it really was. It was sweet, soft.

Still in the rain, the bus stopped in front of the front door of the station and Minseok let Hope went in first, her long hair hid some raindrops as she sat in the double seat next to the window. Minseok sat beside her and held her hand in her lap, with a new sense of freedom that beat his own timidity. Hope didn't know what she could expect from their future, didn't know what to expect when he debut. Again, the options seemed endless for them both, but until the day came, she could not do more than live their new present.

FLASHBACK ENDS

 As the train tracks, there are roads in front of us and sometimes we don't know which one to choose.  So many opportunities that await us. But as a train going from stop to stop, love has left the station, and there is no way back.

Wzesxrcdyftvgbhnj. I was so frustrated with my own writing style, and my hand ran through the keyboard as a pianist on the piano. Write romance had never seemed such a difficult task to do as when I wrote my first book, or maybe it was easy because in my first book, romance wasn't the topic of the day. Not when Rosie had to travel from book to book next to her friends to rescue her younger sister. A lot of fiction, almost no romance. Except for that handsome guy with eyes like the night. Riugggnroignri3nfvk.

"How do you read that word?" Beside me, Louis leaned on his swivel chair to read my poor story on my laptop on the long table that the design team shared. "Are you writing a book with a new language and I didn't know about it?"

Louis was the principal designer of the magazine which we worked for. With brown eyes and his hair falling over his forehead, he continued reading what I had written. 

"That would be easier." I sighed. "The director asked me to consider writing a new book. A lot of romance... but no imagination, like, zero."

"Writer's block, that's the worst." Louis sat down properly and looked at me curiously. "You never had trouble writing your first book. What is happening now?"

"Well... I don't know how to write about romance." I laughed lightly, a bit embarrassed by my lack of experience in the subject. "I still don't know how to shape the relationship between the main characters. But I think i'm rushing myself... maybe I should be clear about what to write first."

Louis moved his chair from side to side staring at me.

"Haven't you ever been in love, Hope?"

He looked at me with attention this time, but thinking about Minseok made me feel lost in a love that didn't lasted as long as I had wanted.

"I was, once."

"How do you feel when you think of him?"

I was reserved with my life, because I was better at writing than talking.

"Whatever you're feeling right now, you should use it to think about the theme of the book. Whatever you're going to write..." Louis took his glasses with black frame from the table and put them to continue writing in his own laptop. "I know it will be a success as the others."

Until now, the decision I took for Minseok and me was the hardest I had to take, but now, I must continue with my life.

"Thank you, Louis. I really appreciate your words." 

After the moment we met, I found myself looking for him among my co-workers, because of his sweet personality and his good company.

"No problem..." Louis showed me his fist for me to punch it and I did. "What are you going to do on your vacation?"

"I still don't know." I put my elbows on the table to rest my chin on them, looking at the laptop. "I guess I will write, see the beach, and keep writing. What about you?"

"Autumn work."

I watched the screen of the laptop for a moment. If I wanted to write a love story that was credible, i should focus only on that.

"Everything is work in our life, right?"

"When there is no love in them, it is."

In the lower right corner of the screen, the clock struck 6:42 pm. Through the rectangular window on the right side of the place, the sun was hidden behind the tallest buildings in the city of Miami. From the 5th floor, I could hear the traffic that was getting heavier, and the trip back home was going to take more time if I didn't left now, so I closed the laptop and I took it to put it in my backpack.

"I think I'll go first." I closed the zipper and put the strap over my shoulder. "I will call you later. Okay?"

"You have to." Louis stopped writing to smile at me. "Enjoy your vacation, Hope."

I stood holding my coat hanging on the chair.

"You too, Louis."

I squeezed his shoulder affectionately before walking to the elevator. For some reason days like this made me think about Minseok, and although my grandfather always says I shouldn't think about the "What if..." it was hard for me not questioning myself what could have become of us. Or maybe not, maybe at some point he would had realized that he couldn't be with me, not with the weight of his fame. When I entered the elevator I told myself I should stop thinking about the possibilities. In a few seconds the elevator stopped in the parking lot in the basement and the silver double doors opened in front of me. At this afternoon, workers on the next shift began arriving as I walked to my car with the keys in my hand. Small red lights flickered and opened the door to get in, breathing in the scent of lavender. That smell brought to my mind old memories, stories of the wonderful days I lived one.

Maybe our little love story would help me to find the inspiration I needed.

–––––– WONDERFUL RAIN ––––––

The clock in the entrance of the house marked 7:31 pm when I closed the door behind me. I crossed the living room of melon colored walls that was illuminated by the amber lights from the ceiling and I entered the kitchen, which had a perfect view of the beach through the large glass doors. Out there the waves crashed against the sand and the salty air mixed with the smell of the chicken soup.

"How was work, love?" My grandfather kept moving the soup with a spoon while he looked at me. "Something new?"

I took one of the high chairs under the granite table and sat opposite him.

"The director asked me to consider writing a new book."

My grandfather frowned in confusion.

"I thought that Rosie's story had finished with the second one."

"James wants me to write a new story... romance, in fact." My shoulders fell. "Looking for a new theme is getting complicated even when I'm just starting."

"Don't you have anything in mind?" 

I considered the options, recalling all the books I have read in my life.

"I'm trying to avoid some clichés."

"But you like clichés stories." He chuckled. "Or am I wrong?"

"Good clichés tho." I point with a finger. "Some have more sense than others."

"But If you use a good form of writing, it will not look like another book for teenagers." 

I lived my life always accompanied by books, and each one of them was a totally different world. They were written in different ways, and the emotions they could convey were unique as well. I always liked the magic I could find in them.

"I guess so. Anna and the French Kiss is my favorite book because the way it is written is so simple, yet so real. I want to believe that I can write something where you see the flow of the love, how it's being created, expanding..." I thought about it a few seconds, wondering if I had chosen the right words. "You understand what i'm saying?"

"Of course, love. You just need to take some time. Think about your character, create it, give it life; the rest will come by itself."

My grandfather, Logan Daniels had been a great and renowned writer of best sellers. During his wonderful days he had written great books too.

"I hope so." I whispered to myself, already thinking how would the new character be. "And mom?"

"She went to visit a friend of her childhood. She should be coming in-”

Before he could finish speaking, we both heard the front door open.

"I'm home." My mother said from the entrance of the house. My grandfather chuckled turning off the stove when the food was ready, and at that moment, Mom appeared in the kitchen. "That smells delicious."

"I know." He said while nodding, trusting in his cook skills.

My mom laughed briefly before looking at me with a shy smile.

"Honey, there's something I'd like to tell you."

I blinked at her, noticing her change in attitude.

"About what, mom?"

My mom took a few seconds as she pulled a letter from her purse and handed it to me. For a second, I held the air in my body when I saw the Korean label: the letter came from his father, I knew it. Mr. Kim was sick for a year now, and since that time he often visited the hospital for cancer patients where my parents worked. There in Korea. My heart sped up not knowing what Mr. Kim might say in the paper, but I was so nervous with the curiosity.

"Do you want to read it alone, honey?" My grandfather asked.

I shook my head and opened the envelope. The letter was bent perfectly and I carefully unfolded it, finding the perfect letter of Mr. Kim.

Dear Hope.

I know that maybe you're surprised to receive a letter from me. When I knew that your mother would go to visit you, I took the opportunity to ask Jessie this favor. Talking on the phone would have been difficult, and as the man who lived at the time of the letters, I send this to you. First, I hope you are in good health, I hope you're happy writing such wonderful books, which my daughter read me because she likes them so much too. Your father doesn't talk a lot about your love life, because according to him, you have no time for it, but still, I hope your heart is intact and full of warmth as I remember. The memories of you next to my son filled me with joy and I return to those times when you allowed me to be. I still think of you as the sweet girl I know you're, but after four years, you're a woman now. I admire you because you made yourself a name in life, I am proud of you as if you were my own daughter. Well, the main reason is to ask you a favor, and although I know it's selfish of me, I sincerely hope you can fulfill the last wish of this man, who doesn't have much time. My desire is to see my eldest son married to a good woman... and if it is difficult to understand, I hope that woman is you.

I stopped reading when my mind tried to understand those words, those sentences that were not necessary for me to read between lines. I felt my stomach tighten when I looked at my mom, asking her quietly to try to explain what I had just read, but she shrugged as my grandfather smiled slightly toward me, so I keep reading.

I know it may be impossible for you, or even crazy that I'm asking this, but my illness will not let me see my daughter married, but I really want to see my son do it. Parents are born at the time we found out we are expecting a baby; and we learn to wait for their future. We wait for them to grow and go through all the experiences that life has for them. But I'm 100% sure about this, and I know Minseok will find in you the wife he deserves, which he will need someday. My son is a good man, is friendly and polite, hardworking, and thinks of others before him. And you're like his reflection, like that special snowflake that falls from the sky on a winter night. Everything you are, he needs it, and basically I want to believe that you do too. The reason why you broke up with him is still a mystery to my family, and to him, but I don't blame you, I always saw a mature person in you, and I know you should have a good reason to do it. Having said that and wanting to say more, I hope you help me fulfill my last wish, the dream of seeing my Minseok married to you.

        I wish you all the success, I hope you like the gift I sent to you, and I hope to see you soon.

With love, Kim Minyoo.

I my lip when I noticed that my mouth was dry, just like my throat when I felt how hard it was to talk when Mom handed me a small box with a red ribbon.

"Did you know that Mr. Kim wanted this, Mom?"

She looked at me with an apologetic smile.

"He told me about it before I came here; in fact we talked a lot about it with his wife and your dad." 

I was surprised they talked about my future without me. 

"And you accepted?"

I knew they wouldn't make a decision for me, and in her face free of guilt, I realized I was right.

"The truth is that we didn't decide for you, honey. We just said we liked the idea. We already know him, and marriages are so short now that we would like to see you married to a good man."

Leaving the issue of our relationship aside, there were other reasons why he and I couldn't get married. In addition, there was no longer love, and I was worried about the reaction of his fans towards me. The relationships of the idols became big scandals, and the scandals became a problem in everyone's life.

"I know I didn't have a boyfriend in these years, but it doesn't mean you and dad should worry about if I'm getting married someday or not."

My mom laughed to herself, sitting two seats from me.

"We're not worried about that, Hope. But it is obvious why neither he nor you had or have another relationship." 

She thought there was still love between us.

"How do you know he hasn't had another girlfriend? Idols hide those things."

"I don't know." She shrugged. "The times I've seen him in the hospital, I realize some things." 

I didn't know anything about his life since I came back here, but things change, and surely he did too.

"It makes me really sad to hear that Mr. Kim is very sick, but if he had asked me only go to visit him I would do it, but marry his son... this is not fair to Minseok."

This was the first time I uttered his name in years and it made me feel something inside me. A feeling that had been asleep all these years.

"I think he will agree. You know what the traditions are there in Korea, not even his company could go against those traditions." 

I wanted to help Mr. Kim, but I couldn't do it if that meant complicating Minseok's life. What I didn't want was to create a marriage without love.

"I can not marry him. After I broke up with him, I left, and I never told him why i did it. Even if he said yes, he's not doing it because he wants it." 

"How do you know that?" Grandpa said with a singsong voice. "Maybe he wants it." 

I watched him as he acted normally.

"Would you have forgiven grandma if she had done the same to you?"

Grandpa left the dishes on the counter and he smiled at me.

"She was just like you, so of course. There are people who die in the midst of a breath, honey, and you can still breathe, which means that you still have a life to live and make amends if you think you've made a mistake."

My grandfather was good with metaphors, but I didn't like him when he was trying to make me see things that apparently I couldn't see. That annoying "What If..." was repeating in my mind, but in my heart: or I was so weak, or good or so foolish that I would do it if that makes Mr. Kim happy. I had to decide whether make Mr. Kim happy, or give an uncomfortable life to Minseok. I was going to put my own happiness in second place, but at the moment I didn't care.

And thinking about that, I opened the small box, and I watched the small old clock with a silver chain and a flower design on the cover.

"You have to do this if is the best for you, honey." My grandpa said. "Whether or not you agree, Mr. Kim will understand." 

Mr. Kim didn't deserve to be sick, and I really wanted to make him happy.

"It is something silly of me... accept only if it makes him happy?" 

My mom stopped breathing for a few seconds, but her surprised face fell when she understood my intentions.

"I think it would show that you have a good heart, baby." My mom answered. "Although having a marriage is a great commitment, we trust that you will know how to live through it. You are very mature, my love, and I know you will find a way to be happy despite the past."

I sighed deeply, taking the time I needed, and then I looked at grandpa. He was my home since I came back. It had only been him and me these years.

"And what will happen to you? I don't want to leave you."

Grandpa smiled at me, and I was pretty sure he didn't want to leave our little home, but i knew he would do it for me.

"Wherever you go, honey, I'll go with you."

–––––– WONDERFUL RAIN ––––––

The morning smelled of salt and it had a touch of uncertainty as I sat in the wicker chair on the back porch of our house, under the cool breeze that crept into the depths of my being. The letter folded in my hand made me company, and it was as warm as Mr. Kim was, a man who still appreciated me in spite of everything. The values my parents raised me with danced in my mind like a cruel joke, pushing me to the edge, but they were who convinced me to do this just because an action would make a person happy. When I left Seoul four years ago, I had left my best friends too, the wonderful people with whom I grew up since I can remember. My parents had go to Seoul in search of a change for their new family, finding support from other families of our same culture that helped them integrate into the new one. Since that time a connection was established in me towards my best friends, and vice versa, and when I left, i not only left Minseok, but my family and friends too. When they found out that I was leaving, I knew they had missed me as much as I did.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to return to the country where I was born and where I wrote my first book. The wonderful moments of my life were born there. 

"Are you sure you want to marry at your age?" 

My mom sat in the chair next to me, hugging herself because of the cold.

In my 23 years, I still felt young to do so, but at the same time, I felt as if I couldn't get anything else, maybe because I was never interested in getting married or starting a family. For some reason I could never see myself going through that. I always felt like an exception, but it didn't make me feel bad or sad, it actually made me want to keep fighting for the things I would get: a good future in my work, good things for my family.

"Honestly, it will not be very different than living alone, mom. EXO is so popular that they barely have time to breathe, I think."

"And what will happen in the future?" 

I never liked to think too much about my future, because after all the biggest plans could be destroyed in a second.

"If he asks me for the divorce after Mr. Kim... is gone, I will give it to him."

"What if he doesn't?"

I didn't know if he would ask me why I left, because after all I gave him no time to do it, or maybe he would just pretend that nothing happened. What was best for him, I would accept it. The future was so uncertain I would go one day at a time than torment my mind with the possibilities.

"I prefer to believe that he will."

My mom laughed softly, my hair like when I was a child.

"Anything can happen, it says on your book."

I smiled to myself, thinking how she used my stories against me.

"Let's be real, Mom."

"I am being real, darling." She chuckled. "It is you who writes fiction." 

But her joke disappeared with the soft morning mist and my mom looked ahead for a few seconds, looking past the sand and the waves.

"Will we go back to Korea then, my love?"

My stomach clenched at the thought of going back. Just when this day began, I didn't even think about the country that was my home too, but right now, I found myself looking at the reality face to face, completely sure that I would go back to the old memories.

–––––– WONDERFUL RAIN ––––––

It was as if the air in Seoul was unique and different, and although I wasn't Korean, this place felt like home too. My dreams were born here; all I was was born here. The flight had seemed longer than it actually was, because my desire to see my family and friends made me feel very awake. The thrill of seeing them again made me think of my sister too. My sister Emilie was a designer like her husband and both lived in Europe, creating the most beautiful vintage pieces I had seen, and fortunately for me since I was a teenager, I grew accustomed to that because of her dressing me that way, like now, with my white dress and my brown coat.

I would have liked to stop time when I walked through the double glass doors and saw my dad and my friends from afar, each of them with a different sign that gave us the same loving welcome. The hug that Dad gave me had never felt so warm, and after four years, the embrace felt better than any other. It was the same with my friends, it was as if I had not wanted to let go of that warm feeling that made me stronger to face whatever was to come.

"You have not changed anything." Seungyoo laughed holding my face softly. "Look at those cheeks; you still look like a little girl."

"Quite the opposite of you." I smiled patting his shoulders. "You've grown; you're a real man now."

"Thanks for noticing it." He chuckled cutely letting go of my face to give me one last hug. "Thank you for coming back, Hope."

The view of the street after so long reminded me a lot of things, it made me wonder how my life would be here. I had to fight to make this works, to create better memories. I should think positive and strive to find the inspiration I needed, because I couldn't stop writing. That was what made me happy.

It was a second when I thought I had heard wrong, even I hadn't noticed the amount of people who were at the airport, but then I heard the name of his group since I was next to dad's car, watching with surprise to those guys who made their way through the crowd. Sophia looked at me in silence for a moment, and I knew that my family were doing it too, but my gaze returned to the person who was looking at me too, even among many people. Minseok was no longer the shy young man I met once, but that was a good thing, and I was happy and even proud to see everything he had achieved. But in his face I saw that although he had matured, he was still the old Minseok. Although it may have been my imagination, but for a second, a small second he stopped himself. However, he couldn't do it for so long and I looked away when he did too.

Those wonderful days were in the past.

Hey! This is the first chapter and i know is a little boring xd But i will try my best to make it more interesting, I promise ^^
If you like it or have something to say, leave a comment. Every opinion is welcome.
Thanks for reading. And again, sorry if you see any grammar mistake.
Bye.