#11

What a funny thing love is. It is the most precious thing in this entire universe and everyone searched for it but at the same time it can also break you and destroy you in ways that is cruel and unwanted.

It makes you happy, like you’re on cloud nine without having any care in the world and then can drop you to the ground so harshly that it’ll leave you broken beyond repair.

Love traps you in its claws and no matter how hard you try to run away from it, it will always leave its imprint on you. And if you’re not careful, they can just you right back in and suffocate you.

And Jongin doesn’t know what to do to break free from this suffocating claws that has trapped him since the very first moment he’s laid eyes on Yejin.

He heard three knocks on his door, before it was flung open and his mom appeared at the door looking at him with a smile that did not reach her eyes.

‘You look nice.’

Jongin smiled at her as he straightened his clothes and looked at his reflection in the mirror. ‘I should leave soon. I don’t want to be late.’

Jongin grabbed his phone and wallet from the bedside table before walking out of his room but was stopped when his mom gently grabbed his arm, to stop him in his tracks.

He turned towards her to see her looking at him concernedly.

‘Will you be okay?’

He smiled again and nodded once.

‘Don’t worry, mom. I’ll be fine.’ He said as he grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze.

‘I don’t want you to get hurt anymore, Jongin-ah.’ She told him.

Jongin chuckled a little and grabbed his mom’s shoulders in both his hands as he gave her a convincing smile. ‘Mom, I am fine. Don’t worry, okay?’ Mrs Kim sighed and finally nodded her head. ‘I’ll be home soon.’ He leaned in and kissed her cheek before turning towards the door.

As he was putting on his shoes, Taeoh came running out of Mrs Kim’s room and head over to him.

‘Appa, are you leaving?’

Jongin nodded and ruffled his hair. ‘I’ll be back soon. Listen to your grandma, okay?’

‘Okay,’ Taeoh replied with a nod. ‘Are you going to see aunt Yejin?’

He nodded again before leaning down and kissed the top of his son’s head. ‘I’ll make sure to let her know you missed her.’ He said as he winked at him and his son’s eyes brightened.

‘Okay, appa!’

Jongin laughed and waved to him and his mom before walking out of the door.

As he waited for the elevator to arrive on his floor, Jongin sighed to himself and he felt his heart get even heavier than it was before.

It was about three weeks ago, when he had receive the invitation and held it in his hands with his heart sinking to the bottom of his stomach as he read what was written on it. And it was about two weeks ago when he had finally stepped back into the city after leaving out of his own will for five years.

How fast does time fly because now here he was, the night before the big day, on his way towards the rehearsal dinner where tomorrow he’ll see his best friend and the woman that he had loved for the last nine years, get married right in front of his eyes as he stood there behind the groom.

A laughter escaped out of his mouth but there was no humour in it and he shook his head at himself.

Who was he kidding?

He was not okay.

It seems absurd and probably doesn’t make that much sense to anyone if he were ever to tell them anything about it. But, when he first saw Yejin in class, when their eyes met for the very first time, there was a rush of emotions that emitted throughout his entire body as he looked at her.

He doesn’t know how or why but there was something about her that drew him in.

Was this what they meant by love at first sight?

It can’t be. Jongin doesn’t think such a thing exists.

But if it’s not, then how does he explain this feeling currently battling inside of him?

‘Yejin, wait up!’

Yejin stopped walking and turned to see Jongin jogging up to her before stopping right in front of her and she stared at him curiously.

‘I wanted to go to the library too. You don’t mind, right?’ Jongin asked.

Yejin smiled and shook her head. ‘It’ll be nice to have some company.’ She replied. ‘Where’s Sehun?’

‘He went back to the room to catch some sleep.’ Jongin answered. ‘Shall we?’

Yejin nodded and they made their way through campus as they head towards the library. It had been only a couple of days since they’d been here on campus and they both had heard how great the library was and had been meaning to check it out for some time but did not have the time to do so.

Now that they were on their way there, you could see on their faces how excited they actually were.

‘You know, I didn’t peg you to be someone that would be interested in the library.’ Yejin said and the other raised an eyebrow at her words. ‘You don’t look the type.’

‘And what’s the type supposed to look like?’ Jongin asked.

‘Like… I don’t know. Like me?’ Yejin shrugged her shoulders. ‘I guess.’

‘And how do you think you look like?’

Yejin was silent as she thought on what to reply before she stopped in her tracks to stare at Jongin. ‘Are you trying to trick me or something?’

 Jongin chuckled and shook his head. ‘You know that saying ‘Never judge a book by its cover’, Yejin?’

‘I know, I know,’ she replied. ‘I just thought that from the way you look, that you belong someplace else.’

‘And where is that?’

Yejin hummed as she tried to think of a place that she could imagine Jongin fitting in. ‘You look like you belong in a dance studio.’

Jongin’s eyes widened as he clapped his hands. ‘How did you guess that?’

‘I was right?’ Yejin turned to him, surprised.

‘Not quite.’ He told her and he saw her shoulders deflate a little at his words. ‘I mean, I do dance but it’s more of like a hobby. I’m not majoring in it or anything.’

‘A hobby?’ Yejin chuckled. ‘So, you can’t dance then?’

‘What makes you say that?’

‘People who say that dancing is their hobby is the kind of people that dances when they’re trying to get rid of their stress or something. And that kind of dance usually consists of jumping around and thrashing and wiggling here and there.’ Yejin told him with an amused look on her face. ‘I’ve seen my fair share of people who has dancing as their hobby, and mehh… not impressed.’

Jongin laughed and stopped walking as he stood right in front of her blocking her path but Yejin had only grinned up at him.

‘You’re underestimating me.’ He stated.

‘Until you prove me otherwise, that’s the image of you that I have in my head.’

‘Do I look like someone who cannot dance?’ Jongin questioned her.

She looked at him from head to toe before returning her gaze to his face and she shook her head. ‘No. But, then again you don’t look like someone who goes to the library, but you actually do.’

There was a playful smirk on her face as she walked past him and Jongin couldn’t help but scoff as he stared after her. He watched her walk a couple steps before she turned around with a huge grin on her face and Jongin knew right then that she had stolen his heart.

‘I’m gonna make you change your mind about me.’ Jongin said as soon as he caught up to her and he watched Yejin’s grin grew wider before she looked at him with a challenging look in her eyes.

‘I look forward to it.’

Yejin was swarmed with assignments even though it had only been one month into the semester and she was currently drowning in the sea of books as they surrounded her on the table.

She was busy typing away on the laptop that she hadn’t realized Jongin walking into the library until the boy plopped himself down on the seat next to her. She lifted her head up from her work to see the boy leaning his head back onto the seat, staring at the ceiling as he tried to catch his breath.

‘You alright there?’ she asked and she watched as he turned his head slowly towards her, as if it took every little energy left in his body to make that move and she stared at him amusedly.

‘Sehun kicked my at dance practice today.’ He replied with his eyes closed.

‘Naww, poor kid.’ Yejin replied and the corners of Jongin’s mouth lifted a little at her words.

Jongin and Sehun had joined a dance group on campus after they met Yixing, a classmate of theirs and had bonded over their love for dance. They’d meet up almost every week to just dance along to choreographies made up by either of them to let off some steam.

Jongin had invited Yejin along once to Yixing’s dance studio and effectively changed her mind on her opinion of his dancing. He felt a sense of achievement when he saw the impressed look on Yejin’s face and how she stared at him in awe when he stopped dancing.

She’s never made a comment on his hobby anymore since then.

‘Don’t tell Sehun this,’ Yejin whispered. ‘But, I always thought you danced better than him.’

Jongin’s eyes flew open as he looked at her and his mouth curved into a smile. ‘I don’t believe you. You’d say the same thing to him if he was in my spot.’

Yejin was silent for a moment as she thought about it before nodding her head slightly. ‘That’s true.’ She said and laughed when Jongin playfully pushed her shoulder away. ‘What? You guys are my friends. I can’t be biased.’

‘But you like me more, right?’ he said as he wiggled his eyebrows and Yejin made a face.

‘Stop disturbing me, I need to do my work.’ She said as she turned back to her workload, her cheeks burning a little. ‘And you should too.’

Jongin’s heart stuttered a little when he realized that Yejin did not deny his words and he held onto that hope a little tighter. He leaned forward in his seat and set his head on top of his arms and closed his eyes, trying to take a nap before he get started on his pending assignments.

Suddenly he felt a hand combing through his locks for a short second before it went missing and he opened his eyes to see Yejin wiping her hand on his shirt.

‘Eww, it’s wet.’

Jongin laughed before pulling her hand back to put it on his hair again and he felt his heart grew in size when she did not withdrew her hand this time and lightly scratched his scalp a little as she combed her hand throu