Key’s POV

                I pulled the blanket over my head and tried to get to sleep. The hours of rest I had received at Jonghyun’s house were beginning to show as my eyelids refused to stay closed. I sighed in frustration and got out of bed, pulling a Chinese practice book from the shelf. I studied classifiers and tone combinations until my head spun with an overload of information.

                “You cannot omit the classifier, but you can omit the noun.”

                “In Mandarin, every noun is associated with at least one classifier.”

                “Some classifiers refer to the shape or category of nouns.”

                “Some classifiers measure a noun by indicating the container or the weight of the noun.”

                I shut the book and shook my head. Chinese was so difficult. How could so many things have their own classifier? One bowl of rice. One book. Two trees. Seven dragons.

                One person.

                In reality, those other classifiers don’t matter. Instead of objects, individual people should have classifiers. One lonely Key. One playboy Jonghyun. One clumsy Onew. One confused Minho. One innocent Taemin. 

                One lonely, depressed, broken Key.

                I threw the book to the floor and stood up. I wasn’t lonely. I had friends. I wasn’t depressed. I wasn’t broken. I could be strong. I was strong. I always had been. Yes, I had screwed up my relationship with my best friend. Yes, he would probably never truly speak to me again. But I had been through worse. I could get through this.

                I watched as the snow drifted past my window. My fingers curled around the jacket Taemin had given me. I slowly pulled my arms through the sleeves and hugged the material to myself. Taemin was so sweet; so innocent. He was always so kind to me, no matter what. I knew that my personality didn’t throw him off. He would always be there for me.

                Right?

                The idea felt foreign to me. It was strange to have people by my side, people who didn’t insult me or beat me until I was too weak to stand. People who bought me presents on Christmas and actually wanted me around. I ran my palm across my cheek, catching the hot tears that were spilling down my face. I had cried more in the past week than I had in years. I laughed bitterly. I was turning weak. I had let my walls down the instant someone showed me a hint of kindness. Well, my parents had been kind once. My neighbors had cared once. It never lasted. Everything in the world was made to end eventually. People die. Empires crumble. Wars start and end and start again. Nothing is concrete.

                I sighed and wiped the last of the tears from my face. The bright red letters of my digital alarm clock read 11:15. My parents still weren’t home.

                I padded downstairs and flipped on the kitchen light. Food always helped me feel better. I gathered various ingredients and threw them together into the frying pan, flipping them expertly as the smell wafted through the house.

               The front door was suddenly flung open, and I jumped in surprise. My hand slipped off the handle and a bolt of white-hot lightning seared across my palm as it came in contact with the scorching metal of the pan. I instinctively cried out and sprinted to the sink to run it under cold water. The burn flared an angry red against my pale skin.

               “What are you yelling about, boy? Your mother has a headache, so shut up before I come over there and force you to be quiet.”

                I closed my eyes in frustration. Pain laced through my hand as my fingers curled into a fist around the burnt skin. Maybe she wouldn’t have a headache if she didn’t try to down half the soju in all of South Korea. I threw my food into a bowl with a pair of chopsticks and headed upstairs, ignoring my wasted parents. I slammed the door behind me and curled up on my bed. The hot food warmed my hands as I rested my head against the wall.

                Against my will, images of Jonghyun began to flash through my mind. He grinned mischievously with a snowball in his hand. His eyes slipped shut with worry as he saw me cry. His face lit up when I opened his Christmas present. I found myself wishing that he was here with me, resting his cheek on the top of my head as I fell asleep. I shook my head violently. What the hell was I thinking? I had ruined our friendship. I knew that. The almost-kiss had freaked him out, pushed him away. It was all my fault.

                God, Key. Why did you have to fall in love with a guy like that?

                My eyes widened at the thought. Love? I wasn’t in love with Jonghyun… Was I?

                I flipped through our experiences in my head. He always made me smile. He always made me feel better. He drove me to the hospital, he cared about me. His small acts of kindness brought tears to my eyes. His adorably awkward personality made me laugh. I found myself thinking about him when he wasn’t around.

                I nodded. Yep. I had watched enough sappy Taiwanese dramas to know that it was love.             

                Well, great. Those sappy Taiwanese dramas also had an awful rival, several near-death experiences, and at least one character whose fashion sense was more-than-a-little horrendous. I could check the near-death experiences one off the list, along with the customary hospital scene that every drama had to have. Jjong and I had already been through that. I bit my lip. Would I really have a rival? It didn’t really matter, considering the fact that Jonghyun would never love me back, anyway. He would run off to the first girl who came along. There wouldn’t exactly be any competition.

                Well. What a boring drama.

                I finished my food and set the bowl on my bedside table. My eyelids still refused to grow heavy, so I pulled down the Chinese book once more and settled into a comfortable position. I flipped to a random page and laughed at the topic. Verbs.

                我爱你.

                I love you.

                Well, if this isn’t like a scene pulled straight from a drama. The lovesick boy can’t sleep so he sits up and daydreams about his crush. Classic.

                My eyes strayed back to the page. No matter what language it was in, those words held so much meaning… 我爱你. 我爱你. 사랑해. 私はあなたを愛して. ผมรักคุณ.  Je t’aime. Ti amo.

                I love you.

                I am completely, hopelessly in love with you, Kim Jonghyun.

                I laughed slightly and turned the page. Look what a lovely mess you’ve gotten yourself into, Key. You’re in love with the one person you just ruined everything with. I rested my chin on my hand and scanned the list of Mandarin verbs. More classifiers popped up in the exercise sentences. Each noun had a classifier. It helped distinguish them, set them apart. I now realized that I didn’t need a classifier like broken or lonely. I was a noun. I was a person. And I had my classifier, the thing that helped set me apart. The thing that made me who I was.

               It was Jonghyun.

              Oh, what a lovely, frustrating mess I’ve gotten myself into.

Jonghyun’s POV

                  I groaned as my cell phone began to ring.

                  “Shut up~,” I muttered, rolling over and pulling my blanket over my head. The song only got louder, assaulting my ears with its familiar melody. Lee HongKi’s voice blared from the speaker as he and the rest of F.T. Island successfully woke me up with their newest song. I snatched the phone from my beside table and flipped it open.

                  “Onew hyung? Why are you calling me so early?”

                 “It’s two in the afternoon, Jonghyun. It’s time to get up. I’m sure you and Key had a wonderful time last night, but you can’t stay up so late. It’s unhealthy.”

                “Key and I… What?”

                Onew laughed loudly. I grimaced and pulled the phone away from my ear. “Ani, forget about it. Anyway, we’re all going ice-skating today, so get up and get ready. Taemin’s getting impatient.”

                “Ice-skating? Hyung, I’m not really in the mood…”

                “I don’t want to hear it. You’re coming. We’re almost at your house, so you better make it quick. Don’t worry, your yeobo will be there, too.”

                “My what?” I lowered my eyebrows in confusion.

                “Key. Your yeobo, your darling, the love of your life. He’s coming, too. So come on!”

                My mouth fell open in surprise. “Key is not the -”

                I gaped at my phone as Onew hung up. Wait. Did he really think that… Key and I… What the hell? I threw my phone on top of my blanket and stumbled out of bed. How I had managed to sleep at all was completely beyond me. I grabbed an outfit from my closet without looking and headed to the bathroom.

                I was running a comb through my wet hair when the doorbell rang. I stumbled down the stairs and opened the door to see Onew, Key, Taemin, and Minho standing on my porch. Taemin beamed and immediately enveloped me in a crushing hug. Minho smiled at his enthusiastic behavior. Key absently played with a loose thread on one of his hot pink gloves and avoided my eyes. I sighed. I had to fix things with him somehow… without making the situation awkward. It was a delicate balance.

                I grabbed my coat and shut the door securely behind me. I had no idea why I was going along with this. I hated ice-skating.

                Onew’s car was small, and I found myself pressed against Key’s side for the duration of the trip. He didn’t speak to me once, and I felt a slight sadness settle on my shoulders. Was our friendship really going to end this easily?

                “Jonghyun hyung.”

                I glanced at Key, my heart rising. Was he still speaking to me? Was everything okay?

                Damn it, Jonghyun. This is the type of behavior you’re supposed to be avoiding, remember? Don’t act so excited just because he said a few words to you.

                I glanced away and assumed the most indifferent tone I could manage. “Ne, Key?”

                “Your hair is dripping on my shoulder. Could you move over a little?” He spoke the words to the window without so much as a glance in my direction.

                My heart sank ever so slightly. I nodded and moved closer to Taemin, who looked at me with a curious expression.

                “Is everything okay, hyung?” He asked softly. His eyes flew to Key for the briefest of instants as he bit his lip.

                It wasn’t that obvious, was it? I smiled brightly and ruffled his hair. “Ne, Taemin. Everything is just fine.”

                He smiled back, but I could tell he wasn’t entirely convinced. His bright red hair brushed his eyelashes as he glanced down at his hands. I had to make things right. Taemin was beginning to worry, and my heart contracted at the thought. He didn’t need to be worrying about me.

                The ice rink was crowded. Dozens of people milled around the lobby, ordering snacks or talking softly with pairs of glinting ice-skates dangling by the laces from their fingertips. Laughter filtered through the tall glass door that led to the rink.

                We took turns renting our skates, and I sighed as I lifted mine from the countertop. I was terrible at ice-skating and had never enjoyed it. I sat down on a cold steel bench and lazily unknotted the laces. Minho sat down beside me.

                “So hyung…,” he said, slipping the skates over his bright green socks. “Sorry we all had to leave the party yesterday… I really wanted to stay.”

                “It’s okay. I understand.” I sighed in frustration as the laces refused to come apart.

                Minho took the skates from me and easily untangled the laces in one swift motion. “Did Key end up leaving, too?”

                The memories of yesterday crowded into my head, causing me to lose my focus. One of my ice-skates fell to the floor.

                “Umm. No. No, he stayed for a while.” I retrieved the skate and hastily pulled it on. It was stiff and uncomfortable. I made a face as I tied the laces.

                Minho nodded. “Oh. Well, that’s good. I’m sure it was no fun at all without us there, right?”

                I laughed lightly. “Yep. No fun at all…” I stood up and headed for the door to the rink, pushing down the memories of the night before. The snowball fight…the almost-kiss…falling asleep with Key in my arms…

                Stop it, Jonghyun. Focus. Fix your friendship with Key before everything else is ruined. You can’t have thoughts like that.

                I pushed open the door and gingerly stepped onto the ice. Every bit of my equilibrium was immediately thrown off as I tried to balance on the slick surface. I pressed my hands against the glass wall and slowly propelled myself along.

                A laugh rang out across the ice. I turned around carefully to see Key gliding toward me. He flew across the ice with ease, spinning and laughing as his skates sent up small showers of sparkling dust. He came to a dramatic stop and brushed his hair out of his eyes.

                “What’s the matter, Jonghyun? Can’t you skate?” He twirled around with his arms spread wide.

                I kept my hands pressed firmly to the glass. “Obviously I can’t. And I don’t want to learn, either. I prefer being on regular ground. In normal shoes that aren’t equipped to kill me.” I lifted my foot a few inches to prove my point, teetering slightly as the motion ruined my balance even more. “I mean…look at this! Look how sharp it is…”

                Key laughed again. “Well, you have fun standing here. Looks like you and Minho are in the same boat.” He gestured toward the door and skated away with a flourish.

                I looked over at the entrance. Minho was standing merely feet from the door with his hands pressed against the glass wall in a fashion similar to mine. He stared warily at his feet as he tried to move forward.

                Taemin appeared out of nowhere, sliding across the ice like an Olympic professional. I gaped. He could do it, too? This was really unfair. He grabbed Minho’s hands in one swift movement and pulled him easily along the frozen death trap.

                “Taemin-ah!” Minho exclaimed, eyes wide. “I’m really not very good at this…”

                Taemin laced his fingers through Minho’s and smiled up at him. “Just follow me, hyung. And don’t let go of my hand. I’ll help you.”

                I smiled as Minho blushed and looked away. When was he going to confess to Taemin? It was obvious to everyone else that Taemin loved him with every inch of his adorable little heart. And Minho was so smitten it was ridiculous. Were they just being stubborn, or did they really not see the affection from the other? I watched as Taemin grabbed both of Minho’s hands and spun in a circle. Minho shouted and stared at Taemin in shock. Taemin only laughed.

                Key glided to a smooth stop beside me and rested against the wall. “What are you staring at?” He inquired curiously, trying to follow my line of vision.

                I kept my eyes on Taemin and Minho, careful to maintain a calm, cool demeanor. I couldn’t let my strange reactions push Key away. “Taemin and Minho… They’re adorable together, aren’t they?”

                Key glanced at me quickly and then looked away. “Ne. They’re really good friends. It’s sweet.”

                I laughed. “Don’t act like you don’t see it. We all know they’re more than friends.”

                Key was definitely looking at me now. I looked up to see his features painted with astonishment.

                “You knew that? I thought you and Onew had no idea… I thought I was the only one who noticed…,” he said slowly, returning his gaze to the couple on the ice.

                I laughed again. “How could we miss that? They’re like a newlywed couple. Trust me, Onew and I have known for quite a while now.”

                I smiled as Minho’s foot twisted slightly and he lost his balance. He flailed his arms for a brief instant before toppling to the ice, dragging Taemin with him. They both burst into fits of laughter. Taemin reached up and lightly brushed away the bits of ice that were caught in Minho’s hair. He blushed and slowly pulled his hand back, his eyes locked with Minho’s. They remained like that for what seemed like an eternity before Minho muttered something and struggled back to his feet.

                “That doesn’t…bother you?” Key’s voice was soft, heavy with some unknown emotion.

                I glanced at him in surprise. “No. Of course not. Why would that bother me?”

                I heard him sigh as he dug the tip of his skate into the sparkling ice. “You’re all right with people being…gay and everything? It doesn’t freak you out?”

                “Did you think I was some sort of homophobe?” I stared at him in shock. Did I really come off that way?

                “No, no. I just…know that…a lot of people aren’t okay with it…” A piercing sorrow laced his words, seeping into my veins and turning my heart cold. Was he speaking from personal experience? Were there really people out there who turned away from him because of that? I tried to imagine a person who could hate Key. Was it even possible?

                I resisted the urge to wrap my arms around him. Focus, Jonghyun. “I don’t see how anyone could find fault in it. You can’t help who you fall in love with, right?”

                Astonishment played over Key’s face once again. “You…really believe that?” His voice was soft. He stared into my eyes with a strange intensity. I looked away before I could start blushing.

                “Of course. Everyone knows love doesn’t make sense. As long as you really, truly care for someone, and you promise to always be by their side, why does it matter if they’re the same gender as you? Love is blind, right?”

                “Right,” Key whispered. He stared off across the ice, but he didn’t seem to be truly seeing it.

                “Guys!” Onew shouted across the ice, wobbling slightly as he skated toward us. For someone with such awful balance issues, he skated fairly well. “We should get going. I’m exhausted and I promised my mom I’d be home by five…”

                I sighed in relief, eager to be off the ice. “All right. You better call the two lovebirds over.”

                Onew glanced between me and Key. “But…you’re standing right here,” he said. He seemed to be truly confused.

                Key averted his eyes as his face flushed pink. No way. Was Key really…blushing? What in the name of all that is good and holy would ever make Key do that?

                I turned to Onew. “What are you talking about, Jinki? I mean Minho and Taemin.”

                “Ooohhh.” He nodded vigorously. “Right, right.”

                Taemin and Minho glided over to us, hand in hand and covered in bits of ice. We made our way back to the lobby, and I instantly collapsed onto a bench and tore the wretched skates off my feet. I sighed in contentment as I tied the laces on my familiar Converse and stood up without falling over.

                During the drive home, I turned over Onew’s strange behavior in my mind. I was used to his odd comments and strange, awkward moments, but he seemed really off today. His strange comment this morning about Key and I having a “wonderful time last night”… His obvious confusion at the rink when I mentioned lovebirds… What was going through his head? He had even made Key blush…

                The realization hit me like the humid air of a sticky Seoul summer. Wait. Onew thought Key and I were… Did he honestly… Whoa. Hold up. Onew seriously thought that Key and I were…lovers? I felt my face grow hot at the idea. Where the hell did Onew get a thought like that? I shook my head and pressed my burning face against the cold glass of the window. He really was a strange person… And why was I blushing? I knew it wasn’t true. I had nothing to worry about. So what if Onew had the wrong idea? All I had to do was tell him the truth… I ran my hand through my hair. Why was everything so confusing?

                I said goodbye to everyone as I shut the car door and headed to my house. It had started snowing merely minutes earlier, and the swirling bits clung to my hair and clothes. I unlocked the door and stepped inside, kicking off my shoes and hanging up my coat. The smell of fresh tuna wafted through the house as I made my way upstairs. I could hear my mom in the kitchen, expertly slicing vegetables to spice up the fish in the oven. I shut my bedroom door behind me and collapsed onto my bed.

                If Onew had such strange thoughts about me and Key, did that mean Minho and Taemin had similar thoughts as well? I cringed. I really had given off the wrong message. Every one of my closest friends was affected by my awkward behavior. I really had to tone it down. I could feel Key becoming more and more distant, and I knew it wouldn’t be long until he was so far from me, I could no longer reach him. And I didn’t want that day to come. His cold behavior in the car had opened my eyes just a bit more. I needed to work harder. I needed to adjust my behavior and make an effort to stop acting so strange. Everyone would benefit from it.

                I watched as the snowflakes drifted lazily past my window. The dim light of the evening sun cast soft shadows over the front yard, transforming it into an unknown land of curving lines and shapes. The trees and rocks I had once been familiar with were now foreign objects shrouded in mystery. In a way, my mind had become the same. I had always known and understood my thoughts. They were clear and straightforward. They always had been. But then Key came along and everything changed completely. My thoughts were now full of shadows and mysteries that I wasn’t familiar with. Feelings I had never experienced, thoughts I had never had.

                I shook my head and pulled the curtains closed, knowing that when I opened them, everything would be normal again. Everything would be familiar. Familiar was what I wanted. Right? Familiar was good. I desperately tried to convince myself, but the new shadows in the corners of my mind spread from their hiding places and obliterated the familiar, leaving me with strange and lovely thoughts that I couldn’t quite force myself to hate.

     Wow. This chapter took me A LOT longer than I was expecting. -_-  Anyway~ I'm a bit happier with this one... Got some nice 2Min and stuff...right? ^;^  I actually get mad at Jjong while I write this... I always think, "He really needs to just stop and listen to what he's saying." Then I remember... "Oh yeah. I made him like that."  -_-'    Geh. That's when you know you get too into your writing. I officially have no life.

And....

I actually reached over 50 subscribers?!?! *tears*  That makes me all happy inside~

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