Key’s POV

                I wrapped my arms around my knees and stared at the TV screen. It was a drama, some crappy American soap opera that a cheap Korean TV studio had tried to dub. The main character had lipstick that was much too dark and hair that was much too poofy. It looked like it was from the 80s. God, I hated the 80s. Even in Korea, it was considered the darkest time in fashion history.

                I grabbed the remote and hastily changed the channel. Cooking shows with washed-up celebrity chefs were mixed in with strange Japanese game shows and educational programs for kids. I kept searching until I found a variety show starring U-KISS. I laughed when I saw Kevin dancing “Gee” in front of the camera. He was good, but I couldn’t help thinking that I was just a tiny bit better.

                I glanced over as a light knock sounded against the door. It opened smoothly to reveal Jonghyun, wide-eyed and frantic. He looked like he had sprinted the entire way. The sight of him made me instantly angry.

                “Go home,” I muttered, turning back to the TV.

                He ran up to my bedside and fidgeted for a few seconds, as if he was unsure of what to do. He settled for running his hands through his hair and leaning against the wall.

                “Are you okay?” He asked, his voice weak and tired.

                I kept my eyes glued to the variety show, where Eli was imitating a pigeon. “I’m fine.”

                “My appa-,” he began, staring at me warily.

                “What does your appa have to do with this? Just go home and stop worrying about me. It doesn’t matter.”

                “It does matter!” He shouted.

                 I was shocked to see that his eyes had filled with tears and his hands were shaking. What on earth was he so upset about?

                “My appa was there, Key! He’s the police chief! He saw everything, so don’t even try lying about it! I know what happened…and… I really… I can’t take it…”

                I froze. There was no way I was going to let Jonghyun get pulled into this. So I resorted to the one thing that always saved me; the sin that had become my closest friend and my darkest enemy: I lied.

                “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jonghyun,” I said casually.

                I saw him grind his teeth in frustration. He took a deep breath and unclenched his fists.

                “Don’t lie to me, Key. I’m tired of it! I understand that you’re afraid, but we’re all here to help you! Do you not trust us?”

                “I’m not afraid of anything, Jonghyun. I really have no idea what you mean. Whatever crazy idea your appa put into your head, it’s best if you just forget about it.”

                “My appa has been a police officer for fourteen years,” Jonghyun replied coldly. “He knows child abuse when he sees it.”

                I flinched reflexively at the word “abuse”. Yes, that’s exactly what my parents did to me, but hearing it aloud made it seem so much worse.

                I laughed lightly, but my shaking voice betrayed my worry. “Child abuse? Jonghyun, I think you’re confused about something. My parents don’t abuse me.”

                “Oh, so you really did fall down the stairs? And your mother really is having withdrawals from her medication?”

                God, his appa really didn’t leave anything out. I took a deep breath. “Yes. That’s exactly what happened. Your appa obviously got the wrong idea.”

                “Key, I really-”

                “What business is it of yours, anyway?” I said, my voice rising. “What goes on in my house doesn’t concern you!”

                “I care about you!” He shouted, placing his hands on the side of my bed and glaring at me. “Can’t you see that? You’re my best friend! I can’t stand the thought of someone hurting you…”

                “No one is hurting me, Jonghyun.”

                “I know your dad is an alcoholic, Key. My appa can see these things. He’s seen plenty of cases just like this in the past. I’m not going to sit here and listen to you lie.”

                I sighed. “Jonghyun, just go home. I’m not going to argue with you.”

                “Because it’s all true, isn’t it?” His eyes shone with tears as he leaned toward me. “Key, I’m only asking because I want to help. Whatever the problem is, I want to help you fix it… I can’t stand seeing you like this…”

                The sadness that laced his tone caused my heart to contract in the most painful of ways. No one should care about me so much. It hurt more to know that the man I loved cared about me this much, but not in the same way I cared about him. I couldn’t stand looking into those tear-filled eyes anymore.

                “Jonghyun,” I whispered. “Please. Go home.”

                “No. I’m not going to leave you here alone.”

                “Once visiting hours are over, you’ll have to.”

                He glared at me. “Don’t get smart with me.”

                I shrugged and turned back to the TV. The U-KISS portion was over, and now MBLAQ’s Joon was strutting across the stage dressed as a member of SNSD.

                “If you’re going to stay,” I muttered, “Sit down and stop grilling me. I’m not in the mood.” I sighed when I realized how broken our friendship had become. We were always either arguing or ignoring each other. And now he had a girlfriend, and he still didn’t see that I was hopelessly in love with him. He probably never would.

                “Key… I really just want to help-”

                “Shut up, Jonghyun.”

                Would it be best for me to break the friendship off now? It was already hopelessly beyond repair. Now that he had discovered the truth about my parents, he would be suspicious of everything I did, which would only lead to us talking less. A momentous sadness welled up in my chest at the thought.

                “If you’ll just listen to me-”

                “Shut up, Jonghyun. I don’t want to hear it.”

                And with his girlfriend in the picture… We’d really have no time to talk. No time to fix this strange relationship we had. I really couldn’t let it go on. He would get dragged into the horror of my family life if he became too suspicious. It would be better for both of us…

                Jonghyun suddenly leaned forward and placed a hand over my mouth. “Now, don’t argue with me. Just listen for a second.” His voice became softer as he leaned in close. “I understand that you don’t want to talk about it all right now. I’m fine with that. But if you ever need anything, really, anything at all, you can come to me, okay?”

                No. He couldn’t afford to think like this. He would expect me to ask him for help someday. He had no idea what he was getting himself into. I tried to pull his hand away from my mouth.

                “Nuh-uh. I’m not listening to you argue. I want you to hear what I have to say.”

                No way. I wasn’t going to let him do this to himself. Caring about me was a dangerous road. I had to do something to make him be quiet. Something that would shut him up and get him to leave. An idea began forming in my mind; something I had wanted to do for such a long time…

                I glanced at the TV and pretended to be distracted by what was on the screen. Jonghyun followed my line of sight to discover why I was no longer paying attention to him. I used that small second of distraction to pull his hand away from my mouth. Jonghyun whipped around, his eyebrows lowering in obvious frustration. I took a deep breath.

                Goodbye, Jonghyun.

                In one swift motion I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips against his. He immediately froze, and my lips tilted upward in a triumphant smile. This would get him to leave for sure. He’d never speak to me again. I would lose my best friend. But it was better this way, better for both of us.

                But instead of jerking away and running from the room like I expected, he leaned into the kiss and wrapped his arms around my waist.

                What the hell?

                It almost seemed like he…liked it.

                I pulled away and gently unhooked my arms from around his neck. His eyelids fluttered open and he stared at me, a dazed expression painting his perfect features. As if in a trance, he slowly wound his fingers through mine as his eyes slipped closed again.

                “Jonghyun, what-”

                As soon as he heard my voice, his demeanor changed as quickly as the flick of a switch lights up a darkened room. His eyes widened in shock and he staggered back a step. His face flushed a brilliant shade of red as he turned toward the wall and ran a hand through his hair.

                Sorrow wound itself around my heart. This was the reaction I had been hoping for, but it still hurt to see it play out. Especially after he had…kissed me back… Or he had seemed to, anyway. But he had been confused and taken by surprise. It didn’t mean anything. Right?

                “I…,” Jonghyun’s voice shook as he tried to regain his shattered composure. “I should get going… I ran out of the house without telling my parents where I was… My dad’s probably really worried by now…”

                I smiled as my heart screamed for him to stay. “Ne, you should probably go home.”

                He turned toward me and his lips parted as if he were about to say something. He stared into my eyes for a brief, heartbreaking instant before turning away and heading out the door. I felt the tears begin to build as I realized that the argument we had just had was the last conversation we would ever have. My best friend was lost to me forever.

                It’s better this way. You don’t want him getting mixed up with your family, do you?

                I shook my head. “Of course not,” I whispered, my voice choked with tears. I rested my forehead in my hands. You know there’s something wrong when you start having conversations with yourself.

                It’s for the best. It’s for the best. Really. Really, it is.

                I repeated those words to myself as I clicked the ‘off’ button on the remote. I watched as the screen was instantly consumed by darkness. I pulled my blanket up to my chin and tried to ignore the pain that flashed through my skull every time I rested my head against my pillow. My father had done his job well; the bandages placed across the back of my head were proof enough of that.

                I curled into a ball and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to get to sleep. I was cold, but I didn’t want to bother the nurses by asking them for more blankets. The faint sounds of traffic rushing by lulled me into a sort of emotional-distress-induced slumber, full of strange images and the disorienting sound of Jonghyun’s soft voice filtering through the cold air.

Jonghyun’s POV

                I made it halfway down the neatly polished hallway before stopping and turning back. My head was fuzzy and swimming with dozens of emotions. I could still feel Key’s soft lips pressed against mine. The way his arms fit so perfectly around my neck, like they were always meant to be there…

                I shook my head as I felt my face grow warmer. No. No. I can’t think like that. Key is my best friend. He took me completely by surprise. It was as if my body had responded without my mind’s consent. I didn’t want to lean in; I didn’t want to hold him in my arms… Did I? And yet, my arms were beginning to feel strangely empty. In that instant, I had felt…complete. Like there was a hole in my heart that only holding Key in my arms could fill.

                God, that sounded cheesy.

                I laughed bitterly and leaned against the wall. How was it possible for one person to have such a hold on my emotions? My heart twisted as I remembered his expression. I had turned toward the door; I was ready to leave… And his face had looked so…bleak. Like there was nothing else in the world for him to live for. His eyes had shone with a profound sadness that seemed to raise the demon of guilt from its hiding place so it could hitch a ride on my conscience. I hadn’t even given him a proper goodbye.

                I squared my shoulders and headed back down the hallway. I would at least give him a nice, friendly farewell before I ran back home to hide inside my conflicting emotions. I would make sure he was comfortable before leaving him alone. Alone…

                I tapped lightly on the door to his room. There was no response. Was he ignoring me? Then again, he hadn’t responded the first time I had come here, either. I slowly pushed the door open and peeked inside. The TV had been turned off, and Key was curled up underneath his blanket, apparently asleep. The thin blanket didn’t seem like nearly enough to block the chill that snuck in from outside. Had he curled into a ball in an effort to keep warm? The thought caused sadness to flash through my chest like a bolt of lightning.

                I jogged down the hallway to the nearest reception desk and asked the assistant if it was possible to get another blanket. She disappeared for a few seconds and returned with a neatly folded bundle of fabric. I thanked her profusely before returning to Key’s room.

                I opened the door slowly and approached his bed as quietly as I could. He was still huddled in the same place, and he seemed to be sleeping fitfully. He mumbled unintelligibly as his eyebrows lowered in what I assumed was distress. It pained me to know that, even unconscious, he was still worried and afraid. I unfolded the blanket and gently laid it over him, tucking it carefully underneath his chin. It was a simple action, but I felt better knowing that I had done something to help him.

                A soft sigh escaped from between his lips as he slowly began to relax. My hand reached up involuntarily to brush away the stray locks of hair that had fallen across his eyes. I couldn’t bear to see him upset anymore.

                “Key,” I whispered softly. “I’m going to help you. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy. I promise.”

                I adjusted his blanket once more and headed back into the hallway. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I shut the door behind me. My emotions were tangled and confusing, but they were like a knot in a piece of thread: it was nearly impossible to see where the pieces were intertwined, so I just had to sit back and think before I could begin to undo it.           

                And the kiss… What was his reasoning behind that? What did it mean? And, more importantly…

                Why did I want him to do it again?

                I shook my head as my face began to burn at the thought.

                Aish~ Jonghyun. Look at what a mess your life has become.

    Ahhhh >.<  Sorry it's been so long... This past week has been...hectic, to say the least.  -_-  And I started my ElVin story, which means I have two fanfics to juggle now, which is probably a very, very bad thing. And yet, so good at the same time. >.< haha~

    Anyway~  Jonghyun has some interesting feelings, no? I'd like to think he's coming to terms with his emotions, but he probably isn't. I seriously feel like I'm not even in control of his character anymore. Haha -_-   Aiyaa~

    I'm not going to promise quick updates because... I don't like lying. >.<  It might be a while... I'll do my best, though! I swear! ^;^  (I say that a lot... -_-  ) Sigh.

    And graduation is in like... 3 months. Oh lord. >.<  That's going to be fun. *heavily sarcastic*  I really will try, though! I'm not going to neglect this story... I know how depressing it is when a story you like doesn't get updated for months on end... -_-   Hurm.

   Anyways~ I hope you enjoy this~!  Let me know what you think~~

   Comments are happiness and joy.  <3 <3  I love you all~~  ^;^  <3 <3 <3 <3