Chapitre Dix-huit

>If I never knew you<

MyungSoo

In the days that followed, he was like a walking dead. There was no life in his eyes, no more smiles that used to be on his face every single day, and to him, each day was dragged on longer than usual. He was quieter, subdued, as if he was mind controlled. He moved, yes, but without energy. He listened when people were talking to him, and the best respond he could give was a nod or a shake of the head, for he felt it was hard for him to even utter a word.

His mind only drifted and thought of one thing and one thing only, and he couldn’t get it out of his head. It was slowly hurting him, killing him softly, and it was too painful that he couldn’t even bring himself to cry over it anymore. He’d cried enough, on many sleepless nights and sorrow was his only companion and longing for someone whom he knew he could never call his anymore.

This continued for many days, and didn’t go unnoticed by his friends. MyungSoo still attended his work, but nothing was different even if he did. He spaced out a lot during his lessons, and many times, his friends had to take over his classes because he wasn’t in the right state of mind to be teaching. He was probably there to escape from what was going on at home, the place that now felt like an abandoned household.

HoYa watched him as he planted his hands on his hips, shaking his head at the boy as he ushered his students out, mixed with MyungSoo’s students as they were done with the lessons for the day. He would take turns in taking over MyungSoo’s class from time to time, not having the heart to cancel them since the kids’ exams were around the corner. They had hoped that MyungSoo would snap out of it and focus on the important task at hand, but they did understand that he was pining, though he refused to say much about it.

Something must’ve gone wrong, that they knew, but MyungSoo was being extremely vague with it, and they weren’t quite sure what exactly happened. But that day, his friends were determined to get the answers from him and probably work out some ways on how to help him.

Once it was closing time, the other boys gathered around MyungSoo who was still sitting quietly in his class, and SungJong shook his head at the older man, seeing his current self. He looked at SungGyu and HoYa, as well as WooHyun who had only just arrived, and they all had frowns on their faces.

“Yah, Kim MyungSoo.” SungGyu began, nudging the boy’s shoulder. MyungSoo looked at him, face void of any expressions and listened as SungGyu continued, “What has gotten into you? Why are you being like this since the last few days? You’re like a zombie, do you know that? What happened exactly? You need to tell us so that we know what’s going on and try to help you.”

“You can’t help me, hyung.” MyungSoo replied, his first few words after days of being silent. “Everything is one big, gigantic mess, and it’s all over now.”

WooHyun frowned as he leaned closer, making sure that he was listening better and that whether MyungSoo was making any sense. “What do you mean ‘over’? What’s over?” He asked loud and clear, trying to get MyungSoo’s attention so that he won’t disappear into his own world again.

HoYa rolled his eyes and cracked his knuckles, “I swear, MyungSoo, if you don’t start talking now, I am going to beat the daylight out of you.” He threatened, and SungJong frowned heavily at him.

“Let’s try to use violence as the last resort, guys.” SungGyu sternly said, though deep down, he himself felt like doing the same thing too. MyungSoo looked like he’d lost his mind, and perhaps a few beating could get him back on track.

MyungSoo sighed heavily as he rubbed his face, and turned to look at WooHyun, as if his friends hadn’t said anything previously. “Was it always easy between you and HaNa noona, hyung?” He suddenly asked, making WooHyun’s eyes widened in surprise, and the others were a little dumbfounded at his sudden question.

“Why?” WooHyun asked back, gently as if he was talking to a fragile child. “Just answer me, hyung.” MyungSoo whined, and WooHyun shook his head slightly at him. He sighed before answering MyungSoo’s question, though he didn’t see the relevance of it.

“No, it wasn’t easy for us.” He admitted, eyes closed as he remembered about the painful past. “It was difficult, and we both knew that it was going to be. Her father hated me, and did all he could to separate us. It wasn’t easy, and many times, we were on the verge of ending things, for the sake of everyone else. But we didn’t, and we fought all the way through, until I could gain her father’s trust and love. It was hard to prove myself to him, but I did what I had to, all that I could do, because the thought of losing my wife was much more painful than trying to prove myself worthy to her father. It became my motivation, and still is.”

He rested his chin on his hands, raised both his eyebrows at MyungSoo, and asked him again, “Why did you ask anyway?”

MyungSoo only spared him a glance before looking away, sighing heavily as he buried his face in his hands. He knew his other friends were waiting for him to explain, and he knew that they wouldn’t let him go until he finally told them the truth. His attitude had been lately, and his friends deserved an explanation as to why he was behaving like this.

He took a deep breath, and filled his friends in on what had come to pass of late, and his heart broke with each word he spoke, forcing them out as agony slowly jerked his heart, jogging his memory of what might happen now and what he may lose, probably forever.

“It’s such a small word.” SungGyu said once MyungSoo finished telling them the story. They were all still stunned and shocked, finding it hard to believe that after all those happiness MyungSoo had finally achieved with someone he loved, a secret kept hidden for 30 years finally emerged, taking away his hopes of being with the person he treasured.

“It’s a small and crazy world.” MyungSoo added. “Who would’ve thought, that my father and her mother were once lovers, and betrothed, I might add, and was close to getting married. They broke it because of my dad, and have been hating each other ever since. No wonder my dad was so adamant on wanting me to end things with her, it’s because she’s the daughter of the woman he once adored, and left because he fell out of love. Her mother hates me too, I know, for I am sure she doesn’t want her daughter to end up with the son of the man who had left her for another woman.”

“But whatever happened before was between your dad and her mom, hyung.” SungJong said, after being quiet for so long. It was evident that he too was extremely bothered by this, as it was written all over his face. In fact, they were all troubled with what had happened to MyungSoo, and their hearts went out to him.

MyungSoo looked at the younger boy and tried to form a smile, and it was hard, with his dry lips and the energy he needed just to stretch his lips upward. “Still, it isn’t that easy, SungJong. We cannot be ignorant of what happened in the past. We can’t ignore it. Other people’s feelings are on the line too, not just mine and MinNeul.”

“Are you still keeping in touch with her?” HoYa asked. “I mean, you guys still talk, right, despite what’s been happening.”

MyungSoo exhaled and slowly shook his head. “We haven’t been talking.” He admitted. “It was ... a bit too much for the both of us, but I’ve asked her brother to keep me updated, and he has. So far she’s doing fairly well, only a fraction better than me, but her brother said she’s been distressed deeply by it too.”

“I am not surprised she is.” WooHyun said, leaning back on the chair as he ran his hand through his hair. Fate certainly had a funny way to work. Just when MyungSoo and MinNeul were happy, this came about, and he was certain that the two of them now were wondering what to do next, regarding their relationship and taking into account what their loved ones might feel.

SungGyu tipped his head and pondered aloud. “If you continue your relationship, you have your parents to think about. I mean, they’re now practically like enemies, and I am not sure that things will be better between you and your parents should you decide to continue seeing her.”

MyungSoo kept quiet, taking in Su