Chapitre Dix

>And you know I'd never let you down<

MinNeul

It had been days since that fateful night, that unexpected declaration from someone she’d expected the least. It was many nights ago, but to her it almost felt like just yesterday. His voice when he said those words, the gaze in his eyes, a mixture of slight fear and frustration and sincerity, and the look on his face as he doubted whether he really should say those three words to her.

MinNeul recalled everything about that night unmistakably, as clear as how she could remember every single recipes until she didn’t need to refer to the cookbook anymore. She couldn’t get his voice out of her head, and she hated the unknown feeling that took up the space inside her heart. It felt almost foreign, and she didn’t know whether it was a good thing or not.

She hadn’t talked to him again, and she wouldn’t know if he did try to reach out to her. She had turned her phone off, but she had a feeling that MyungSoo was giving her some space, for he was always able to look for her, if he couldn’t reach her through phone.

He hadn’t stopped by the restaurant as he would almost every other night, and though a part of her felt relieved, as she wasn’t ready, she couldn’t deny the fact that she did miss him when he wasn’t around, and did look around just in case he was nearby.

In his absence, she was still looking for his presence.

“Yah, you’re going to overcook the fish.” A voice next to her said, elbowing her side and jolted her back to reality. MinNeul looked down at her frying pan and noticed that she was close to getting the salmon overcooked, so she quickly lifted the pan from the fire and put it in the oven.

MinNeul sighed as she closed the lid of the oven, and her miserable state didn’t go unnoticed by her twin, who could see everything all too well. MinHyuk was preparing the asparagus when he noticed that MinNeul had almost forgotten her salmon was on the frying pan, and now he pushed his work aside and decided to confront with his sister.

“You’ve been acting odd lately. Now, spill.” He said, turning off the stove and made sure that nothing was frying or cooking at the moment. The last thing he wanted was to burn the whole kitchen down. “You know you cannot hide anything from me, and I am not quite pleased that you’ve been keeping this to yourself for many days. We’ve never kept anything from each other, MinNeul.”

MinNeul sighed again and leaned against the counter, wiping her hands on her apron. What her brother said was true. She cannot conceal it forever so might as well just come clean with him right now. She filled him in about the event of the other night, and MinHyuk listened to every single word, taking in her expression along the way.

“I just don’t know what to do. It could be that he’s doing this out of pity, after what JongIn’s done to me. And I am confused myself. It wouldn’t be fair for him, if in the end I am just replacing JongIn.” She said, her words coated with worry and her face was full with confusion.

MinHyuk understood though, and crossed his arms as he stood next to his sister, leaning against the counter. “Do you think you are replacing JongIn if you accept his affection?” He asked, wondering if they could get the answers by asking MinNeul questions.

MinNeul thought about it and lifted her shoulders. “I don’t know.” She admitted. “I am confused. I mean, all this time I’ve always known him as my best friend, apart from you. I’ve never considered him as a lover. And taking into account what just happened between JongIn and me, I don’t know whether I am ready to see someone else.”

MinNeul played with the ends of her old apron and sighed. “And I’m not even sure if he just pities me. I mean, I am moving on from JongIn, right. And I try not to show if I’m still hurting.”

“Are you?” MinHyuk queried. “Are you still hurting?”

MinNeul looked up at him and considered the question. Was she still hurting? She tried picturing JongIn inside her head. His smile, his laughter, his sweet gestures from years before, and tried to understand what her heart felt now when she remembered those things again.

And there was nothing. She felt nothing.

“I don’t.” MinNeul said, sounding perplexed. “I don’t feel anything when I think about him anymore. Maybe I fell out of love too before I even realized.”

MinHyuk smirked softly as he shook his head. “You know, I’ve never liked JongIn. From your first day, I knew he was going to be bad news. I am not going to tell you ‘I told you so’, because it wouldn’t be fair. Let’s just say that I had a hunch that he was going to break your heart, but he seemed to like you and I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, despite some things I heard. And you liked him so much; your eyes were so bright when you mentioned him.”

He looked down at his sister and pushed her shoulder softly with his. “But I know for a fact that MyungSoo definitely doesn’t adore you out of pity. When he sent you home that night, I saw more emotions in his eyes than I did JongIn. He looked at you the way I used to look at the girl I had to let go, and JongIn never looked at you that way, believe me.”

MinNeul kept silent and hugged her brother from the side, who within a heartbeat hugged her back. They never felt embarrassed or shameful to hug each other, as most sibling would be. MinHyuk kissed her head sometimes, ever since they were kids. It was their way to show their affection towards one another.

“I cannot avoid him forever.” MinNeul muttered, thinking for how much longer she had to evade MyungSoo. Not seeing her best friend for this long didn’t sit well with her, it was almost the same as not letting her enter the kitchen, and it could drive her mad.

MinHyuk thought for a way to help her, and decided to ask her again. “You know, what are the things that you like about him?”

That seemed easy of a question to answer, and MinNeul lifted her shoulder as she said, “He always listens to me, and not just pretending that you are listening when in fact you’re not. He really listens, because after that, he responds to what I just said. He asks questions, and with that, I know he’s paying attention. I don’t have to call his name to ask whether he’s listening to me. Conversations with him could go endless, and you don’t have to worry about running out of things to say. He’ll initiate a new one and even silence with him feels right. He never holds his phone when we’re hanging out; it’s as if he doesn’t own one. And he always makes sure that he is able to find me in a crowd.”

“He’s everything JongIn wasn’t.” MinHyuk softly added, not able to stop himself from stating the truth. He’d been around long enough to see how MinNeul and JongIn interacted with each other, being the protective brother he was. He kept quiet all the time because he could see how happy MinNeul was around him.

“A person who does all that can definitely not love you out of pity, MinNeul.” He continued. “Specifically when no one asks him to do it. He doesn’t need to be reminded to do any of the things you just told me. He does all that willingly.”

“Which in turn always makes me happier, knowing that he does all that from his heart. But I don’t want to get hurt again, oppa.” MinNeul muttered. “And I would never want to hurt him. It would make whatever friendship we have to be gone if something goes wrong.”

He understood her concern. It wasn’t always easy to fall in love or be in love with your best friend. If things didn’t turn out how you wanted it to be, it might be hard to go back to being friends again, because once you’d loved each other as more than just friends.

Only a few could get things back to normal if the relationship didn’t turn out, and both MinNeul and MyungSoo valued their friendship. But if MinNeul could trust him as an amazing friend, then she could trust him as a lover too.

People always said that you should fall in love with your best friend because we know we can trust them and that they’d known you inside out.

“You’re afraid of taking the risk.” He stated. “But I think you do know too, that he just took a bloody risk himself that night. He knew what he was putting himself into when he told you that he loved you, yet he still did it. Because