Took sometime to upload this because I can't flushed right using the mobile app >.< Anyway, managed to hijack a computer now!!! Seriously, how do I survive not having a personal laptop for 2 years? 

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“Black one is for Dongwan hyung and white one is for Eric hyung,” Andy repeated, holding to two bags in his hand. He felt like a manager of some k-pop idols, always helping to deliver gifts to his brother and Dongwan hyung. His friend nodded with a rainbow on her face.

“So where is mine?” Andy teased. 

“Chapter 12 summary. Remember to get it done before the next project meeting!” 

“I knew you would say that.”

“And you still ask.” His friend smiled sweetly before waving goodbye to the group.

Andy chuckled. He looked at the gifts, wondering what fangirls of the two men will feel if they find out about the relationship between Dongwan hyung and his brother. Other than the dorm mates, the school still view them as nemesis, with both still head-to-head for valedictorian in their cohort. 

“Junjin is avoiding you again,” his friend's comment interrupted his thoughts. Andy turned and caught the last bit of Junjin exiting the library.

“I can't imagine anyone hating you. Do you have some secrets in your dorm that we don't know?” His friend joked.

He did.

And the innocent words were like heavy lead, weighing down his heart.

“He doesn't hate me,” Andy replied absentmindedly. He looked around the library and spotted Minwoo hyung with his group of friends. “We are just –” Andy paused.

“Awkward,” he finally settled on a word. “We are awkward with each other,” he repeated.

After wrapping up the last bit of his project, Andy set off for the dorm.

“Andy-yah!” A familiar voice called, just like a year ago when the owner of the voice waited for him on his way back to the dorm. Andy halted his steps, waiting for the owner of the voice to catch up with him.

*** A year ago***
“Let's...let's just be strangers from now on.”

He was exhausted. Mentally and emotionally. He finally admitted some people are not meant to be friends. No matter how hard he tried, he was getting nowhere with Junjin. Being strangers was the most amicable solution.

But Junjin's next action startled him. The man paled, his eyes reflecting a soulless empty shell as a steady stream of tears flowed. In a heartbeat, Junjin fell to the ground, hands clutching onto the soil beneath them, trembling and sobbing pitifully.

Andy was at a loss. 

He could not care if Junjin was unfair to him before. Andy pushed away all thoughts as he kneeled down, wrapping his arms around Junjin to comfort him. He could feel Junjin's heart breaking through the trembles as Junjin’s tears soak through his shirt.

It couldn't be because of what he said, could it? Did something happen to Junjin?

“Andy... I'm sorry...”Junjin cried. “I'm really sorry...Don't –” the man choked, “don't be a stranger. I don't want to be a stranger.”

“Okay...we'll not be strangers. We'll never be strangers,” Andy coaxed, feeling worried. 

“I...I don't want you to hate me.”

“I don't hate you,” Andy said soothingly, running his fingers through Junjin’s hair time and time again. 

“I want to be closer to you...”

 
That was...unexpected. So it was really because of what he said? But this was the exact opposite of how Junjin had been treating him.

“But I can't talk to you when the hyungs are around...I can't!”

 
None of it made any sense, but Andy did not have the heart to sing a different tune from the distraught Junjin.

And that was the start to their closet friendship. 

***

“You are not afraid the hyungs will see us?” Andy asked when Junjin reached beside him.

Junjin flushed a shade of pink, “there is a briefing for the final year students on their final year project. They won't be coming back soon.”

“And you don't have to attend the briefing?” Andy asked, curious.

Junjin flashed a charming smile without meaning to. He was in a special cohort so his mix of classes were always a riddle to the rest of the students. “Not yet,” he replied.

Andy nodded with a smile. “I am guessing it is a you and me day?”

It was like sunshine warming Junjin's heart seeing Andy's smile. But it was always tainted with a sad knowledge that the sun will have to set at the end of the day; when they return to the dorm; when they were around the hyungs. If only he could come clean about his feelings. But he was not ready. He cannot risk what he had with Andy. Not after it took him so long to reach this state.

“I know of a newly open curry place in town. Curry today?” Junjin suggested. Hanging out far away from the dorm meant he could prolong his time spent with Andy without being caught by the hyungs.

They spent their time walking around the mall and playing in the arcade after their heary meal, until the sky was dark.

“Am I really that embarrassing that you are afraid to let the world know you are friends with me?” Andy asked suddenly when they were on their bus ride home.

Junjin froze for a second, but he recovered quickly. “Maybe I am the embarrassing one?” he replied with a grin. Andy rolled his eyes at him but did not attempt to push further. 

It was a close shave. Junjin exhaled, relief. 

There was a long, low rumble in the sky before raindrops pitter patter against the bus window.

“Guess we'll be stuck for awhile.” Andy said when the rain got heavier. Junjin began digging his bag for the umbrella he brought. When they alighted, he quickly shoved the umbrella into Andy's hand and ran into the rain before the younger one could react. 

He turned over when he was a good distance away, his drenched hair plastered over his face, half blocking his view of Andy. 

“See you in 10 mins,” he smiled before sprinting back to the dorm. It was their routine. Whenever they went out, they always made sure they will return to the dorm separately.

Andy let his gaze lingered on Junjin's back, his grip tightening on the umbrella in his hand. He only left the bus stop 10 minutes later, with an unexpected heavy heart. He enjoyed hanging out with Junjin. It was fun, carefree, free of worries. But it was suffocating when they are back with the rest; when they have to act as if they never talked.

Minwoo greeted him when he unlock the door to their dorm. His eyes met Junjin’s when he raised his head, but the man turned away without a single word or even a simple acknowledgment of him.

What was he expecting? It was the condition set by Junjin for this friendship to even exist.