Leaving

"Didn't we say not to meet each other anymore? Why are you still here?" Ji Yong brushed his hand across her features and landed on her cheek as his eyes bore into hers.

"I couldn't control myself... And, and Yunho Oppa told me to come here..." Yoona's eyes softened and reached out, placing her hand over his.

"Yunho Hyung?"

"He wished us all the best... He wants me to stay blissful for him..." Yoona showed Ji Yong the paper she had been holding on to. "I had never expect him to do such a thing..."

Before Ji Yong could reply, he felt the vibrations in his pocket. He fished out his phone and answered the call. Yoona bit her lips as she saw his expressions becoming solemn, with constant noddings and inaudible low murmurs. 

"We're coming back right now." Yoona heard the last sentence loud and clear and this made her heart lurched. "Come on, let's go." Ji Yong hung up the call and grabbed Yoona's wrist, pulling her behind him as he strided towards the exit.

****** 

Yoona stared in disbelief as she stood near the door frame, shaking her head. So this explained why Ji Yong was silent throughout the journey. He did nothing but just holding her hands tightly in his as he stared out at the windscreen. Yoona obeyed as she just laid her head on his shoulder, not uttering a single word. Fatique caught up with her and she woke up only when Ji Yong shook her body a little. By the time, they had already arrived back at the hospital.

Though Ji Yong said nothing, Yoona knew something must had gone wrong. His expression, the uneasiness all written on his face. However, she didn't know the situation would be that bad. In fact, the worst.

She walked side by side with Ji Yong until they reached Yunho's ward. Instead of seeing the young dashing man lying on the bed fooling around with his usual jovial attitude, she saw a lifeless body lying on the bed, with a white cloth draped over his entire body. She thought she must had gone to the wrong ward, but seeing the people kneeling beside the cold body were familiar faces and with the final look of confirmation from Ji Yong, everything dawned on her.

Tears began to fall with every step she took towards the body.

Yunho knew his time was up and wanted to make up for her.

Yunho didn't want her to see him in his last breath because he didn't want to see her crying for him.

Yunho wanted her to stay blissful, even if he wasn't the one who was capable of doing that.

Yunho loved her.

Yoona ah, go now... There's still time.... This is the best I can give you already...

"O-Oppa... I'm back... Didn't you.. Didn't you say that you won't abandon me? W-Wake up Oppa..." Yoona cracked a smile as she pulled the cloth down, revealing Yunho's tranquil but cold face.

No response.

"O-Oppa!! You're a liar! Wake up now!! You can't leave me just like that! Yah! Jung Yunho! You can't be that selfish!" Yoona began to hit him on the chest hard, tears falling down with every blow she inflicted on him.

"YOONA!" Ji Yong caught hold of her immediately, pulling her away from Yunho before embracing her tight. "Calm down. Everything is fine..." He whispered to her.

"NO! Everything is NOT fine!! I'm the one who caused his death!! It's all my fault!! I shouldn't even have left his side even if he pushed me away!!" Yoona shouted in tears as she continued to struggle, scratching Ji Yong's arms.

"Hyung wouldn't want to see you behaving like this!" Ji Yong shouted after awhile, causing Yoona to fall silent. "I know you're devastated, but Yoona, Yunho Hyung would not want to see you in this state. That's why he chose to push you away... He didn't want you to see him struggling for his last breath. He wants to save some dignity for himself..." Ji Yong sighed as he wiped away her tears. "Please, don't do this to me... Don't do this to Yunho Hyung..You're hurting not only yourself, but him too..."

Yoona kept silent after Ji Yong's words and slumped into the chair. What was she going to do now? She thought it would be a happy ending and now, it ended as a tragedy. She was getting her bliss at the expense of Yunho's life. Instead of being by his side, accompanying him till the end, she went to find Ji Yong. It wasn't him who was selfish, it was her. She didn't cared about his feelings. All she cared about was her own feelings.

"Yoona ah...." A melancholic voice rang and a soft touch was felt on her shoulder. She looked up and saw Jessica, eyes red and puffy. "Yun left a letter behind... You should take a look at it..."

Yoona stretched out her hands towards the letter. She stared at the letter and brushed her trembling fingers across the paper, feeling the texture of the handwriting. This was really his handwriting. The pair of strong but yet soft pair of hands... Yoona took a deep breath started reading the content.

Yunho had finished another round of chemotherapy and was exhausted but wasn't sleepy. He pretended to be asleep so that Yoona could catch a breather by herself. She had been too tired out these days going to and fro her office and hospital. Besides, he needed sometime to himself too. To tie loose ends up. He knew his body. Despite the numerous chemotherapies and Changmin's assurance, Yunho knew that he wasn't going to make it through after all. No one knows his own body better than he himself. He just wanted to ensure that even after he is gone, everything would not have much change. Things should remain the way it should be now. Be it the company or his house. Though Jessica was the oldest in the family after their parents had passed away, she mostly relied on Yunho, thus, making him the decision maker for everything. He must arranged things properly for her, so that she would not face difficulties when he isn't around. As for Yoona, he had absolutely no other thoughts except for her to return to Ji Yong's side. It pained him to do that but he knew that after so much, she still couldn't let go of Ji Yong and neither could Ji Yong. They were made for each other.

Three days after he knew his illness, Yunho had made arrangements to see his lawyer. His company shares, his assets and most importantly, his divorcement with Yoona. He had specifically asked his lawyer to draft out a single-sided divorcement agreement for him because he knew that once Yoona know about his sickness, she would never agree to divorce with him. He wanted her heart, not only her body. If he couldn't keep her heart, he would rather let her go.

He decided to keep it a secret from everyone. Months passed and he knew that his time was almost up. On this day, just a day before Ji Yong left for America, he found some time alone and started to pen down his final thoughts....

To my dearest ones,

I hope you guys would not be crying when you're reading this letter, because I want to see each and every one of you wearing a huge smile as you guys send me off. This would bring me the greatest comfort. Noona! Ever since young, you had been the biggest crybaby in our house even though you're the oldest. I have to admit, sometimes, I thought I was the oldest instead of you. You're my most beloved sister and I'm sorry that I couldn't take care of you for a longer period of time. You're always known to be the 'ice princess', cold and expressionless, but I know you're only putting on a brave front. I had been protective of you, not letting any guys hurt you intentionally but still, about Jay's incident, I regretted the most. I failed to protect you from the hurt that Umma had inflicted on you.... I know you love Jay alot. However, I'm glad that things still go on fine for you when Changmin appeared in your life. Yah Shim Changmin! Take good care of my Noona for me! If she cries again, I would hold you responsible for it. Min, thanks for being the best buddy I had ever had. We grew up together, fool around together and even chased the same girl before. Through all these, our brotherhood never once faded. We would fight it out and the next day, we're back as buddies again. I'm happy that you had finally achieved your dream of being a doctor. Don't feel discouraged because you failed to save me. I know you had already done the best you could. So, I want you to use this spirit to save even more lives. I'm entrusting my Noona to you for I know that you would definitely take good care of her. Lastly, my will would have something left for you guys. It's my present for Noona's wedding. Pardon me for not being able to attend your wedding, Noona and Min. But I'm sure Noona you would love this gift. So, hurry up and tie the knot already! Don't dare to let my Noona become a spinster, Shim Changmin!

Kwon Ji Yong, or should I call you Jung Ji Yong? Ji, you're the most stubborn brat I had ever met in my entire life. You should have been Jung if it weren't for your stubborness. However, I guess it's your stubborness that gets you through your life. I know you had a terrible childhood and I'm really sorry for it. I apologised on my Umma's behalf. You had been an awesome brother to me, even though we were related only by half blood. You were always there for me and Noona no matter what happens. Help me watch over Changmin and if he dares to bully Noona, punish him for me, will you? I'm sure even without me telling, you would do the same. Thanks for being such a great dongsaeng. Actually, I'm so guilty towards you... I was really greatful but yet at the same time, guilty when you chose to keep the secrets to yourself... All I have to say is just, thank you Ji. And, I'm now returning what was rightfully belonged to you... Take care of Noona for me. Take care bro. I wish you all the best.

Yoona ah, if Ji Yong is the most stubborn guy on earth, then you would be his master. The first time I interacted with you, I knew that you're different from the other girls. The way you speak, the way you move... You always have a mind and aspiration of your own, totally not being affected by others' opinions. Maybe that's why you and Ji clicked. I'm sorry for leaving without saying a proper goodbye to you. Trust me, if time allowed, I would have bid a proper goodbye. Are you thinking that I'm selfish? I hope you are, because in this way, you would be able to forget me at a faster rate. I need to tell you this: Please do not be guilty. My sickness had nothing to do with you. In fact, you're the one who prolonged my life. Without you around, I guess I would not have even live for more than a month. I guess this is my retribution... I'm returning my life back to your deceased child.. So, don't be guilty. I'm more than willing to do this. If you're depressed over my death, I would even be more burdened. I want to say that the time I had spent with you, was the most wonderful moments in my life. From courting you, to asking for your hand, I had never once regretted my decision. Though I know that all these happiness was short-lived, I still wanted to savour every single second. I'm glad that I tried and you tried too. Thanks so much for loving me Yoong... Now, everything should return to where it should belong 4 years ago. Don't be burdened about the ring on your finger because right at this moment, you're no longer Mrs Jung. You're Miss Im now. The brave, stubborn Im Yoona. Remember what I had told you; Pursue your own happiness and bliss and I would be right up there looking at you. I love you girl.

Last Farewell,

Yunho.

****** 

Few days later, Yunho's funeral was carried out as planned and as promised, Yoona and Jessica did not cry throughout the cermony, until when he was being cremated. Yunho's death didn't really cause a huge commotion because he had everything arranged before he passed away. He had splitted his shares to Ji Yong and Jessica, leaving them to be in charge of the company. Though Jung Cooperation's shares did drop during the first few days of the news of his death, but the shares bounced back quickly once Jessica and Ji Yong held a press conference about their future plans for the company.  

A week after Yunho's death, everyone had returned to their normal life. Almost. Yoona was still staying in the Jung's mansion and Ji Yong had too, moved in back to stay with Jessica. They were afraid that Jessica's mind would start imagining things if she was left alone. Despite Yunho's effort in pairing them together, Yoona and Ji Yong did not seemed to be a pair just yet. Though they were always seen being together, Ji Yong knew that Yoona had not let go of the fact that Yunho was dead. He didn't want to stress her as well because he too, felt that it wasn't morally right for him to be with his sister-in-law only just a few days after his brother's death. This would ruin Yoona's reputation to the public.

"Eh? Yoona left for work already?" Jessica asked as she put a slice of bacon into .

"I didn't see anyone leaving house around 7am though." Aunty Kim answered. "Could she still be sleeping?"

"Perhaps she is sick. I think I better go check on her." Ji Yong felt that something was amiss and wanted to head to Yoona's room.

"Let me go. It's not very appropriate for you to go up to her bedroom now." Jessica put her hand on his shoulder to calm him down and gave him a smile.

"Araso..."

After awhile, as Ji Yong sat uncomfortably at the dining table, a shout was heard.

"JI!!!! COME UP HERE!! YOONA HAD LEFT!!"  

Unnie, Oppa, by the time you guys had read this letter, I would already be on the plane... I'm sorry for leaving without informing you guys. You guys are wrong about me... I ain't a brave person, I'm a coward. A total coward. I don't know how to face you guys... Face the others... I couldn't get over the fact of Yunho Oppa's death. I was the culprit of his death... Unnie, I guess you should have already know or somehow guessed the relationship between me, Ji Yong Oppa and Yunho Oppa... I'm sorry Unnie... You had always treated me like your beloved dongsaeng, doting me... But me? I took away your blood dongsaeng from you... I know you don't blame me but I simply can't... I just can't ignore the fact that Yunho Oppa died... Forgive me for leaving like that... I just can't face you guys, face the world now....

Ji Yong Oppa, if I say that my feelings for you is gone, that would be a lie. I admit. I still love you. In fact, I had never stop loving you even if we had broken up since 4 years ago... But, this issue is no longer between the both of us. It includes the word : Responsibility. Despite Yunho Oppa had already divorced me, the fact that my name is carved on his grave remains... You're right... Our meeting is a mistake right from the start. Even so, if given a choice, I would still choose to make this mistake... Because, it's a beautiful one... Being with you, bearing a kid for you, had been the most exciting moments in my life... But now, we couldn't be together. Perhaps, perhaps one day, when all these had been forgotten, had been buried, we would be together... I would leave our fate to god...

Please do not look for me and forgive me for my selfishness... I promise I would take care of myself. Unnie, Oppa, take care too... I'm sorry...

Yoona.