Yongbae feels hectic after witnessing a hive of activity once he step into the office. It’s become a normal scenery since the day of the event is just around the corner. He slowly walk to his workstation and saw Daesung really into his job.

 

“Hey, morning.” he greeted.

“Owh, Yongbae, are you here. Mr. Lee and Mr. Kwon searching for you just now.” said Daesung.

“Really? What do they want?” asked Yongbae curious.

“I don’t know. You seems quite popular recently.” sneered Daesung.

 

Yongbae just smirking once he heard Daesung’s word. He looks directly to Jiyong’s office, still considering which one he should see first. Then, he decided to face Soo Hyuk instead of Jiyong since he still don’t know how to face his bestfriend thinking about their conversations last night. Yongbae entered Soo Hyuk’s office once he been welcomed by him and statically stand in front of his superior after a simple greeting. Soo Hyuk directly pointed him to the sofa before he landed himself where he could facing Yongbae.

 

“How are you, Yongbae?”

“I’m fine, Mr. Lee. Thank you.”

“I noticed there’s a lot of things happened between us recently. Maybe you’ve been bothered by it also.”

 

Yongbae just stay silent, calmly waiting another words from Soo Hyuk. To be honest he doesn’t have any idea what should he say to that guy.

 

“Ok, Yongbae. Listen….Back then, when the first time I saw Jiyong, he looks like he lost interest in everything. He talk less, care less. He closed himself to everyone. Even when he talked with others, didn’t seems like he really there. Knowing his background made me wonder what had bordered him so much for him to act like that. He can get everything by looking at his appearance. That was the reason why I really want to know him. When we became a friend, I didn’t found anything weird. He just like a normal person but being reserved. He didn’t talked much about his personal eventhough we were closed. Until one day, I’ve heard he murmured something while he was sleeping and your name repeatedly been mentioned. However, I never asked him or try to find the answer since he never talked about you whenever he was awake. But, suddenly it happened, when you came back to his life, and I was the one who brough you actually. Maybe deep in me still curious to know Jiyong’s past, that is why I called you up eventhough I didn’t know wether you were the same person that Jiyong keep thinking.”

 

Yongbae bring up his sight to look at Soo Hyuk who suddenly been silent and noticed that Soo Hyuk is staring at him. “Why did you tell me all this?” asked Yongbae while avoiding those stares.

 

“To be honest, I was very happy when you was the one, Yongbae. I really like you when we first time met and I still can’t deny it now. Same as Jiyong, I don’t have many friend that I closed to and knowing you is like adding another member in the cycle. I felt relieved when I saw Jiyong started to cheer up and I know I’ve made a right decision to invite you over. However, the more I understand the situation the more I get irritated. The way you look at Jiyong, and the way Jiyong look at you, somehow makes me worry.”

 

“What did you worry about?”

 

“I might be full of hates right now if other person involved in this. But, since it’s you and Jiyong, I try so hard to calm myself down.”

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

“I hate guy-to-guy relationship, Yongbae. I can’t tolerate with a guy who have feeling with the same gender more than it supposed to be. It’s really digusting. I don’t mind if you two just a good friend but I’ve noticed something had developed between you two and that makes me pissed off. That is why I don’t like to see both of you being too close towards each other.”

 

“I think you had misunderstood about our relationship. We are just a friend..a close friend to be exact. The feeling that I have for Jiyong is no different than you.”

 

“Huh, really?....And your confession just now makes me even angrier. As I said, if other person being like this, they might be hate by me right now, but because it’s you…I think I can tolerate for Jiyong’s sake. But now, you said that you never have a feeling toward him when I’m about to accept your relationship….huh….So, it will be the worst, Yongbae. If that is your answer, I’m afraid that I could punch you right now.”

 

Yongbae frowned while looking at Soo Hyuk, still trying to digest everything that he heard just now. He still can’t figure out what it’s all about.

 

“Jiyong is someone that I cherished like my own brother, Yongbae. I will do anything just to see him happy eventhough it’s hard for me to tolerate. If you dare to brake his heart again, I won’t hesitate to punch you. I don’t want to see him being like what I saw in the past. If you don’t have the same feeling towards him, please be clear. Don’t put him on hope.”

 

“But Jiyong never mention anything about this and everything you said, is that coming from Jiyong itself or it’s just you who make an assumptions?”

 

“He doesn’t need to talk. The way he react, his silent gestures, and everything could be seen through his eyes. I don’t know whether you are too dumb to notice or you are just pretending. But, I felt sorry for Jiyong. However, just ask yourself Yongbae, what Jiyong means to you? Are you really consider him as a friend?.”

 

“I don’t know how I’m suppose to comment on this since it’s not directly came from Jiyong. It’s just your perspective and I don’t know why you told me all this thing while we are in the mid of preparations for a big event.And moreover,…..me too. I hate gays, so I could understand your feelings right now. I don’t know how you look at our relationship, but for your concern, between me and Jiyong, it is not like what you think it is. I believe Jiyong will agree to that too. However, as much as you concerned about him, I’ll do the same. I won’t let the past haunted me again…and…”

 

Yongbae’s words been shut by the sound of knocking on the door. Both of them seems startled once they saw Jiyong walking to the room.

 

“Sorry, are you both in the middle of discussion?” asked Jiyong once he noticed the stern athmosphere between those two.

 

“Urm..we are finished already. Ok Mr. Lee, I will revised what we had discussed earlier. So, please excuse me.” said Yongbae and ready to leave the room.

 

“Yongbae, wait!!!” asked Jiyong giving a jolt to Yongbae’s heart. Soo Hyuk looks at Jiyong in shocked but silently trying to calm his nerve down.

 

“Since you are here, let us discuss about the event for awhile. It has been a long time we didn’t sit together like this. I already asked Daesung to join.” said Jiyong.

 

Yongbae’s breath in relieves when he saw Daesung enter the room. He turn back to his sit where is just next to Jiyong and his eyes glaring at Soo Hyuk. Soo Hyuk looks so calm before the little smirking creeping on his lips.

 

“Since we are all here. Can we start?” asked Jiyong.

“Sure” three of them answered simultenously

 

*******************************

 

Yongbae standing on the balcony, spending his quiet moment buy letting his hair ruffled by the wind. Every words from Soo Hyuk keep echoing in his mind and he try to relate with everything that happened between them. “Was that what he thought about us? Was that what we had conveyed everyone? Guy-to-guy?” Yongbae sighed. Suddenly the memory of Seunghyun poke his mind. “Did Jiyong also thought that there is something between us like Seunghyun did? Did the past will repeat itself?” Another sigh relieved between his lips. “But, what did Soo Hyuk mean by the way I look at Jiyong? How did I treat him? Does it different from the others?” Yongbae inhale a deep breath. He admit that his mind full of Jiyong but it is just because Jiyong is the only one that he close with and they had spend their time a lot. “ It doesn’t mean the feeling that we had toward each other is more than just a friend or is it? But, what with the feeling that keep bothering me recently? No…it can’t be.” He ruffles his hair wish to shove everything from his mind before he heard someone open the front door. He knows there is no one else other than Jiyong and he waiting patiently for that person to enter. Their eyes meet once Jiyong step in and smiles perform on both lips.

 

“I think I’ve got used to this house rather than my own.” said Jiyong while walking closer to Yongbae.

“I don’t know about your house, but you can just forget about it and fully move in here.” replied Yongbae and that’s bring a chuckles to Jiyong. “Want anything to drink?” offered Yongbae when Jiyong stand right beside him.

“Coffee would be fine.Thank you.” replied Jiyong still smiling.

 

Yongbae nodding his head and directly go to the kitchen to bring the coffee. While waiting for the coffee to reheat, from that distance he drop his sight on Jiyong’s back. He try to figure out what feeling he has for his bestfriend and still curious what Jiyong think about him. “If what Soo Hyuk said was true, can I accept it?”His mind silently saying. He really eager to ask but he doesn’t know how to start.

 

“Here your coffee.”

“Thank you.”

“You sleep over tonight?”

“Yeah..that’s what I’m thinking. Can I?”

“Since when you ask for permission?”

“Then, why you asked?”

“Just asking. Who knows you’ll be gone by midnight.”

“Hahah..it’s funny. I’m Kwon Jiyong if you forget my name.”

“Yeah…unfortunately you are not Cinderella. If not, it will be easier.”

“Huh?”

“It’s nothing.

“Yongbaae ah, you know what?”

“What?”

“I felt relieved today seeing you and Soo Hyuk in a good terms and I’m glad that we are here sipping coffee together. These past few days, everything happened to us was really worrisome and it makes me feels so tired.”

“You’ve been thinking too much.”

“Yeah…If only I can shove away what had been bothering inside my head.”

“If you want, I’ll listen to it willingly.”

“I wonder why you didn’t do the same. Can’t I be trusted?”

“Now what?”

“I think instead of asking about me, why don’t you tell me about yours? What is on your mind and what makes you look disrubted? Thinking of which, I feels like I don’t really know you. You always give me advice and whenever I’m feeling down, you were there to encourage me. Seeing you always make me feels at ease. However, you seldom share your problem with me. There’s nothing good I can do for you I guess. That’s why you never rely on me.”

“Don’t say like that. You know that I’m not used to express my own feeling. Besides, you don’t have to do anything. I’m just glad that you are here.”

“Yeah…I hope you really mean it because I don’t plan to leave your side….like I did in the past.”

“So….stay.”

“But it’s not easy either…”

 

Jiyong sips his coffee. He knows he can’t continue his words or else he may spat everything that bothering his mind. The most importantly, he may told Yongbae his feeling that he secretly sealed in his heart. “He can’t know about it. If not I will losing him again.” he thought silently. “Have you got something to eat, Yongbae?” he asked while heading to the kitchen, leaving Yongbae who is still standing in silence.

 

“Are you hungry? If you want I can prepare something for us to eat.”

“I can cook instant noodles by myself, is there any?”

“Are you sure it’s enough with that?”

“Emm.. you want some? Let me cook tonight.”

“Let me help.”

“No, eventhough you didn’t want to rely on me, just let me do this atleast.”

“Ji…Like I said, it’s not like that.”

“Yeah.. I know. I’m just kidding. I only can cook this for you. So let me do it.”

“Okay, if you insist. The noodles is on the left corner in the second row. Help yourself.”

 

Yongbae silently observing his bestfriend from distance. He crazily want to know what is in Jiyong’s mind. He knows that Jiyong hiding something but he just worry if that things is what Soo Hyuk told about. However, he needs to know the truth. “I don’t know what should I do, and I don’t want to lose him too. Not again.” he silently mumbles himself until he heard Jiyong calling his name.

 

“Yongbae ah, are you just want to stand there? Let’s eat.” shout Jiyong from the couch. He already brought the pot of instant noodles and two bowls to the living room, wish to eat while watching the television. “Can we eat here?” asked Jiyong when Yongbae step in.

 

“No problem. Hold on, let me bring some cold drinks.” replied Yongbae and leave to the kitchen to take out the drinks.

 

“Jiyong ah, you know that Soo Hyuk called me to his room and we had talked about what had been happened recently.” said Yongbae try to start the conversations.

“Owh..That’s why you were with him this morning. So, I guess everything has been settled between you two by looking on how good your interactions today.”

“Did you said anything to him? Seems like he can accept me as your friend.”

“Nothing much, just asked for his understanding.”

“He must have like you a lot, that is why…”

“Yeah..maybe, or he knows even he didn’t agree there’s nothing he can do about it.”

“Huh..I don’t know you are this stubborn. Why are you insist to be friend with me?”

“Why? Are you tired with me already?”

“No….”

 

The atmostphere suddenly seems too quite. Jiyong can feels that Yongbae is staring at him intensely while he eating but he pretending that he didn’t realized it.

 

“Thank you, Jiyong ah. Thank you for being here with me. Maybe I never said this to you. But I’m just glad having you around. That’s important part of yours. So, even if you see like I don’t care, please never think that you are nothing.” confessed Yongbae while beaming towards his bestfriend.

 

“Yaaa.yaaa…What with this atmostphere? I’ve said earlier, I don’t plan to leave you alone. So, you have to bare with me no matter what. Even when you decide to get rid of me, I still won’t let you, understand?” replied Jiyong with a stern voice. “urghh.. this rascal, why he keep making me quiver.” thought Jiyong.

 

Yongbae released a chuckle after hearing Jiyong’s word that makes Jiyong embarrassed.

 

“Thank you.” whispered Yongbae and hearing those simple word makes Jiyong can’t handle his fluttering heart.

“Enough, bae. Hurry and eat before this noodles get soggy.” said Jiyong while trying to calm his nerves down.

 

Yongbae continue his meal but deep in his heart there’s a happiness lies in seeing Jiyong’s reaction. He remember how he love to teased this guy before and his smile suddenly creeping on the edge of his lips.

 

“Now what?” asked Jiyong when noticed Yongbae’s smiling face.
“Nothing, I just….”

 

Both of them has been startled by the vibration from Yongbae’s phone. Jiyong glance over it and he noticed Seungri’s name appeared on the screen. Yongbae quickly answered the call while walking to the balcony, leaving Jiyong behind. Jiyong continue his meal pretending like nothing happened until he heard Yongbae’s cheerful voice burst out while talking to that person. The more he heard it the more he feels irritated. Jealousy start to rise from his bottom heart. “Is he that happy? He never laughed like that when we talked on the phone before.” thought Jiyong, pouted. He quickly stand up and bring his bowl to the kitchen. His appetite already gone thinking about them. He spend his time in the kitchen doing the dishes while calming himself but can’t hold his eyes from glaring to the sliding door where Yongbae is standing behind it. After finished his dishes, Jiyong decided to take a quick shower and slowly heading to the bathroom while trying to steal a glance towards Yongbae who is idly chatting with his friend.

 

Jiyong step out from the room after putting his comfortable cloth. He is a bit surprise seeing Yongbae still standing on the balcony, talking. With a pouting lips he straight back to the kitchen and lean against the dining table, busy himself with a cup of cold water. It’s already 20 minutes Yongbae stands there as Jiyong concerned. “What are they talking about? Isn’t he felt cold standing out there?” murmured Jiyong before he heard Yongbae’s foot step entering the living room. Jiyong quickly turn and showing his back, with hope that Yongbae didn’t realized his curiosity. He try to act as normal as he could without noticed that Yongbae is already behind him, holding a pot and the bowl that Jiyong’s left in the living room. “Ahh..the noodles got soggy.” sighed Yongbae but then landed himself on the dining chair and continue feeding the soggy noodles into his mouth.

 

“Hey…why are you still eating that? It’s already cold.” asked Jiyong, shocked.

“I don’t want to waste it.” said Yongbae with his full mouth.

“Stop…” Jiyong try to take the empty bowl while Yongbae already slurping the balance in the pot and try to smile with his cheeks that almost pop-up. Jiyong just shook his head and grab some water for Yongbae. “You may suffered indigestion if you eating like that.” he said in worry.

 

Jiyong observing his bestfriend, who is humming happily while doing the dishes, showing his mood already lighten up by the phone call. His jealousy still not settled down but he knows there’s nothing he can do about it.

 

“Having a good news?” Jiyong asked try to dig in.

“Sort of..” Yongbae turn to look at him, with a smile plastered on his lips.

“I saw the name earlier. Was it the same Seungri who was in our class in the past?” asked Jiyong for confirmation.

“Erm..He said he will be coming to Japan next month and wish to stay over. That is why he called to ask.” replied Yongbae, honest.

“Owh..you two become close toward each other huh? What a surprise...So, you might be very happy then for having a guest next month.” said Jiyong while pulling his sight away from Yongbae and slowly heading to the living room.

Yongbae could notice the changes in Jiyong’s face and can figure out why Jiyong acted like that. However, he doesn’t know how to react. He just follow Jiyong from behind with concern that lingers his mind.

 

Jiyong slump into the couch while focusing on the channel that shows in the television. He has to shove away his intention to lie down on the couch when Yongbae suddenly landed at the end while holding his feet and put on his lap. Jiyong reacted in shocked, quickly pull away his feet from Yongbae’s lap.

“Hey, what are you trying to do?” asked Jiyong while trying to control his fluttery heart.

“Sit…” replied Yongbae short.

“Yaahh…I know this is your house, can’t I just laid down here comfortably?”

“Why? You still can straighten your legs on my lap... I don’t mind”

“But I do mind….”

“What’s wrong with that? Jiyong ah, can I ask you something? Lately I’ve noticed that you are trying to keep your distance away from me, why is that?”

“Really? I don’t noticed that.”

“Those skinship, we normally did. We even slept together. So, why are you freaking out like I will do something to you?”

“Hey don’t say something which makes people think differently. We just sharing the bed, not more than that.”

“No, I mean, when we were slept there’s a time where your hand was on mine, our legs intwined. So, why are you acted like we never been touched?”

“Ah..whatever, here, take this couch by yourself”

 

Jiyong quickly move away to a single couch, trying to stop those conversations. His heartbeat racing crazily and that makes his body quiver. Yongbae still sitting there, beaming his sight on Jiyong, observing every inch of changes on his friend and noticed those ears and his cheeks becoming so red.

 

“Ji, are you hiding something from me?”

“Please stop bae. I just want to watch this movie quietly.”

“Hey, look at me. Is there anything you want to tell me?”

“What?”

“I know you’re hiding something, won’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know what are you talking about.”

“ And why? Why are you keep distance yourself from me?’

“So, how you want me to be? Where you want me to sit? Next to you? Okay, I’ll sit next to you, satisfied?”

 

Jiyong pull his courage and jump beside Yongbae. His eyes still focusing on the screen, try to avoid their eyes from meeting each other. “This man, what he want me to do with him? Why he keep forcing me to that extent? This is really torturing.”thought Jiyong while his body start to shiver.

 

“Ji..” Yongbae’s hand caress Jiyong’s lap that make his patience out of limit.

“Yongbae please, before I lose my control and jump to you..can you please cut it out?” Jiyong taken back, realized that he had spat his mind towards Yongbae. His heart beating hard, feels a lump covers his throat that makes its dry. “Owh no….what now?”Jiyong stand up and rush to the bathroom, leaving Yongbae who is seems speechless by the words that he heard.

 

Meanwhile, Yongbae sat still on the couch, clasping his hand together, trying to calm himself with what is just happening. “So, was it true?” his mind conceived. He inhale a deep breath. He doesn’t expect that he will get the answer for what have been bothering his mind. “So, what I’m going to do about it? and why? What is wrong with me now? Why I felt differently about it? Why I don’t hate it? It can’t be…” Yongbae quickly reach for Jiyong. He knock on the bathroom door, where Jiyong locked himself up.

 

“Ji, I’m sorry. I know I was wrong. I’m truly sorry. Just get out from there.” he pleading earnestly.

 

Meanwhile, Jiyong is busy dousing his face with the water. The worries and unsecured feeling rise up. He quiver a lot and tears start to fall, blended its form with the water that flows from his face. “This really driving me insane. I really don’t want to lose him again.” Jiyong secretly cry out.