I open the text from Nam joon

'where are you? Im sorry i didnt mean to make you like that'

'shwa where are you?!?!'

'call me when you read this'

':( please im sorry'

'meet me tonight at the park'

'ill be waiting at park until you come to come? "

'park now!'

I look at the clock its late night. He text this one two hours ago 

hm maybe he left already. I lie down on my bed. But what if? Just what if? Haih. I stood up and took wear off my jacket, its cold tonight . I took my other jacket in case.

 I rush to the park and i saw him sitting on the slide while shivering. I ran to him and put the jacket on him. He look at me and hug me straight away. The jacket on him fell off. 

"where were you? I was worried about you!" he talks while shivering. I felt so guilty. I had fun with Hanbin and yet he worrying about me. "im sorry" i look at him.I took his hand, i pick off the jacket on the ground and brought him to my home. He must be so cold. 

I gave him blancket and ask him to rest on the sofa. I made him hot chocolate and went to him. I pass the cup to him. He didnt drink yet he put the cup on the dressing table beside the sofa. "talk to me" i look at him angrily. "i wont talk until you drink that" i look away. He took his cup and drank i stand up to increase the heat floor. I went to him back again and saw him sleeping silently on the sofa. I took another blanket and put on him as i walk pass by he snatch my wrist. He didnt said anything , then i just sat on the floor looking at him. 

I open my eyes, i mis slept over there. I realised im on the sofa. I look over to see where is Nam joon. He slept on the chair beside me. I look at the watch its 6am. I wake him up, "i wanna go to see wanna come?" he shook. "okay then see you later" i went outside and started to climb the mountain behind my house. Its my favourite thing to do if i wake up early.

As i reached to the top, i took a place to sit and wait for it. Then i heard voices 'seriously? In the mroning?' i look back it was Nam Joon. "I thought you didnt want to come?"  i look at him . "you know you ask me when i just open my eyes. I realise what yiu just ask after you left me." i smile awkwardly "im sorry?" he sat beside me. 

"you know Nam Joon, about yesterday,im really really sorry" i look at him "about what? Breaking my heart or i waited for you like few hours ?" i couldnt see his bear face i look down and rest my chin on my knee. 

"its just im sorry for everything for being selfish and urgh" i face my face toward my knees. I started to cry "its just i dont know.I love both of you. But i dont know its more than friends or just someone i care like my own brother" i said while i was crying. 

"i really like you shwa, i will be happy if youre happy. Im sorry im being selfish, i didnt know you feel this way" i wipe my face off and only my eyes were looking the view. "I will wait for you, even you choose him and even it takes until forever. " i look at him and took a deep breath.

"Nam joon dont be like this please, i want us to be happy. Ill find the answer as soon as possible. Please if you found someone you love please go to her. Dont wait for me. Im afraid ill dissapoint you" he hugs me and he whisper "no matter what if i can wait for you for 10 years ill wait for you until forever" i push him. "promise me if you found someone other than me go to her.Dont wait for me even i dont have someone. If im late let me be dont accept me" "No i wont promise you these kind of nonsense." he scolded me. I look the other way because i was angry he iis not listening to me, i sulk. He grabs my shoulder and put his hand on my shoulder " dont you sulk. Look the sunrise is coming" i look the sunrise. Its the perfect view i had ever seen, it always make me calm no matter what. 

"Shwa" i look at him "take your time,when youre ready let us know. Im going to try my best to win you" i think i heard this one before. Oh yeah Hanbin said the same thing too. I nod. "im hungry and sleepy lets go back" he cheers up. I laugh. "okay lets go. Pancakes?" he nod. We went home, i bake and we had breakfast with my dad. He left after that.

I took a long bath and lied down on the bed. Im so tired. If i choose Hanbin how bout Nam Joon? Or i pick Nam Joon how about Hanbin. They sacrifise a lot without me noticing it. I just need a sleep.