a more lenghty chapter to make up for 9 days without updating.

Chapter XIII. Point of no return

Her lips were soft and still wet, brushing nicely against his own, making him almost forget about how inappropriate the timing was. Having her inside his arms, her clothes wet and glued to her body, Mirae being so vulnerable because of almost dying; everything was making him feel like a complete for kissing her but he wanted, hoped it would help in any given way to calm herself down. When he removed his lips from hers, he almost stopped breathing when he saw her looking back at him, her eyes partially wide, shaking, her lips still parted in surprise. As his fingers released the hold he had on her shoulders, Mirae getting her arms free, the very next thing he knew was almost a burning like pain spreading across his cheek. She had slapped him and it wasn’t a soft slap at all because even seconds after, he was still feeling the heat of the slap.

“You lied to me, made me trust you, almost killed me and now you are kissing me. If you think that’s going to make up for the rest... you are wrong.” She gritted her teeth and even glared in his direction.

“I didn’t intend that!” he spoke as softly as he could,

“I don’t know what you intend or want but...” she bit into her lower lip. “Don’t mess with me.” She warned him.

“I am not...” he let out a sigh, turning his head to the side while closing his eyes, feeling even more apologetic about the entire situation.

“I am tired... Kyuhyun. I have a few things on my mind and ... just let me be.” She moved to the side, turning her back on him, almost limping towards the couch so that she could sit down since her legs hurt.

There wasn’t much he could say in the situation. He had tried, wished and hoped to make things better and yet it wasn’t happening. He was an idiot for even thinking that if he kissed her anything would turn better. If anything, it helped her anger culminate and even manifest itself. It was becoming more and more clear that she wasn’t going to easily forget or forgive him for putting her in danger on purpose. He picked up the other sheet again and moved towards her, one step at a time, slowly and honestly even a bit afraid.

“You will catch a cold if you don’t remove your clothes. Change and use this...” he softly spoke towards her while handing her the sheet.

Turning his back around, he moved towards the fire place and began putting in wood and more branches, anything he could in order to keep the fire and make it even bigger. He practically peaked towards her and saw the blue dress material now on the floor and that meant she had already removed her clothes. He could hear a bit of a ruffle, a typical sound of the sheet material being moved and wrinkled and now he was sure she had covered herself. He turned around to look at her again, her entire body wrapped in the white material. Though he didn’t mean to, he couldn’t help but notice that on the ground was only a shoe and the dress.

“You should probably remove the undergarments as well and then come in front of the fire.” He spoke towards her while still looking at the fire place, his back turned to her.

His heart almost rang inside of his ears, as if his heart was actually inside of his ears, waiting while being curious as to whether she will move towards the fire, next to him. It was actually weird how he felt even more panicked and scared of her feeling now as compared to when she was actually shouting and blaming him. The silent weighted much more than the anger, making him feel even worse than before. Standing in front of the fire, with his head lowered, he closed his eyes and kept his silence. He now understood what were the implications of what he had done. Mirae was probably more emotionally hurt than physically and that wasn’t something that he didn’t know how he could help heal. He almost flinched when he felt her moving next to him, sitting down. Glancing to the side, he saw her legs revealed from under the sheet, moved as closely as possible to the fire. There were scratches here and there, even one that seemed to start from the palm of her foot up towards the fingers and he knew that must have also been painful for her. He felt so guilty he didn’t even dare to turn his head and look at her properly but he wanted to make sure she was alright.

“You should have told me.” Her voice came out as a small whisper, keeping her eyes on her knees.

“You are right.” He replied to her, still looking toward the fire instead of her.

“I’m not sure I can trust you again.” She admitted, gulping a bit as she spoke, bending her knees and pressing her left cheek against them so that she could glance in his direction.

He let out a sigh and then tilted his head backwards, bothered about that. He didn’t like her saying that and it hurt even more to know she thought that. He was bothered and even though he couldn’t put his finger on the exact reason why it was making him feel like that, he did know he wanted the feeling to go away. He liked her. He liked spending time with her, seeing her smile and laugh, being mean towards him and yet trying to look like a powerful person when she was actually quite sensible and even weak. He liked the time he spent together with her and enjoyed the time he spent with her and Manse as well. He liked being around her and with her because he liked her so knowing she couldn’t trust him anymore made him feel sad. Maybe that was why he even kissed her in the first place. Because he liked her and wanted to be around her, together with her. And despite the fact that it went against absolutely everything he had learned for his job, he actually enjoyed kissing her. He liked the feeling of her lips against his own and he did wish he could feel them against his own once again. Maybe that was why he was bothered by her lack of trust in him.

“Kyuhyun...” she spoke after noticing the silence that settled between them.

He usually spoke back, defended himself. Even just before, when she screamed and yelled at him, accusing him to be a traitor, he still managed to talk to her and try and sway away her doubts and thoughts, but now he was quiet. He had replied at first but now he was silent, looking somewhere far in the distance, his thoughts seemingly not there while also completely over the place. She had all the reason to be upset and angry and never want to talk to him again, or make him feel like an and she wasn’t supposed to feel bad about it so why was she?

Why did she feel bad about seeing him so disturbed about not being trusted? She actually felt bad for making him feel sad when just hours before he almost got her killed after not saying a word about their plan. She got attentive again when he finally looked towards her, even moving his body to turn towards her. He made sure the sheet wouldn’t fall off his body nor reveal any part of his body that could make her feel awkward.

“I don’t blame you.” He gave a small smile, not entirely a fake one but at least not as happy as a smile was supposed to be.

After saying that, he moved his hands towards the edge of the white material, ripping small narrow bits of it. He moved his fingers through the pile of wood he had found and brought back inside, picking from the coat of them any piece that could be used. As he found a piece that looked as smooth as possible on the inside and not bumpy on the exterior, he broke it away from the log and began removing the covering to make the piece even more smooth. Mirae looked towards him confused, not sure what he was doing but didn’t feel concerned about it because she was sure there was nothing dangerous in what he was doing.

“Let me see your leg.” He asked in a soft voice, stretching his hand towards it.

“Why?” she frowned and asked him.

“You seem to have a pretty deep cut on the palm of your foot. I can cauterize the cut and then use this...” he showed the small piece of fine wood. “as a support instead of a sole.”

She nodded her head and then moved her leg to the side so that he could touch it and do what he had said. She bent her knee while turning her leg to the side and then Kyuhyun moved to pick up the same nail he had use, heating it up a little. Placing the tip of it on the side of her cut, he felt bad to see her whimpering because of the pain but it was something he had to do to make sure the cut can’t open even more, catch an infection or simply continuously make her feel pain.

“I will be done in a second...” he spoke as he put the piece of wood against the cut and then used the ripped sheet to cover it and make use of it as if it was a bandage.

“Thank you.” She let out in almost a whisper, finding the piece of wood quite refreshing against the palm of her foot.

He nodded his head but kept his silence for further moments. His body was still turned somewhat in her direction, looking as if he wanted to do or say something. He hesitated and the hesitation was obvious even to her. Turning her body towards him, she suddenly felt her heart beat faster and she felt quite curious and even anxious to find out what it was that he wanted to say but was hesitating to say. Kyuhyun moved his hands, taking hers in his, his fingers brushing past her own, lowering his head a little as he looked towards her.

“I know I did wrong to not tell you. I will apologize for hiding that from you. Again and again and as many times as you need. But I can’t apologize for driving the car off the cliff and into the water.” He raised his eyes to look at her.

His words at first made her feel reassured yet again. There was a bit part of her that wanted and needed to trust him despite having been lied to before. It was rather stupid and idiotic to place faith and trust into someone that already deceived her but she needed to do that. If she couldn’t trust him, the only person that risked so much to save her life, just who could she trust? Her father was too old to protect her, her brother was too young to do that; he was the only one. Not only did she need to trust him, she also wanted to trust him. He was the only one in years with whom he had a normal talk, a new friend to spend time with and it was nice to be around him. The end of his words made her feel angry yet again though. If only he apologized for everything, again and again, promising he won’t do it again... then at least she could believe him without worrying for anything. If he were to apologize halfway for what had happened, then she couldn’t fully believe him and jump to trust him again.  She had been extremely angry and disappointed for being lied to but honestly she was just waiting for the chance to feel his sincerity so that they could move over and end the matter.

“Kyuhyun...” she whimpered again, upset about him apologizing halfway.

“Listen to me...” he continued brushing her fingers with his own, using his right hand to cup her face and get her attention. “I drove that car off cliff in order to save your life. Apologizing for it would be like apologizing for saving your life.”  He gently smiled towards her.

“You could have given me an warning.” She spoke in almost a whisper, keeping eye contact with him.

“There was no time. I wish there would have been. Sudden things happen and sudden actions have to be made. If you are in real danger, I will have to make quick decisions again without the time to warn you about it. I understand if you won’t believe my words, but be sure that you can trust me to keep you safe. No matter what.” He spoke with confidence once again.

He looked at her, his eyes never leaving her own. The way she looked at him, her eyes showing her internal confusion and her uncertainty, her lips parting to speak yet not daring to actually say anything maybe because she didn’t know exactly what to say... her wet hair that was stuck to her forehead and her