“Welcome to Castle del Bang,” Yongguk half sang as he unlocked the door of his apartment and pushed it open.

Himchan raised an eyebrow at him. “Castle del Bang?” he asked as he stepped in.

“Hey it probably makes sense in... Spanish maybe. Or Italian.” He followed in and closed the door, shrugging his jacket off and throwing it onto an over-full coatstand. When he didn't get any kind of response, he looked to Himchan and blinked.

The younger was stood in the middle of his apartment, eyes grazing over everything he could see with an almost critical air to it. He made one very slow turn before finally facing Yongguk again. “Where's your stuff?”

Yongguk was slightly taken aback. “This is my stuff.”

Himchan gestured around at the apartment. “But you have nothing.”

This was a little bit dramatic, Yongguk felt. Sure, he didn't have many things but he certainly had things. There was the simple black lounger and the TV and the upturned crate he used for a coffee table. There was a few canvases on the walls and at least one potted plant on the kitchen windowsill. There was the mixing deck and a box of records in the corner, and some nice speakers and another box of CD's. There were even some novelty mugs on the counter tops... He really should've cleaned those up before he left the house.

“This is all the stuff I need.” He shrugged and gently pushed Himchan towards the lounger as he went to the freezer. “What more were you expecting?” He opened a draw and had to crack the tub of ice cream from the clump of ice that had built around it.

“I don't know... More things? People usually have just... Stuff. Material wealth. Belongings. You know: ugly presents from birthdays, things you just bought for the sake of it, old things you've owned for years. You know. Stuff.” Himchan made himself comfortable on the lounger, still looking around as though expecting a secret cupboard to open and all the hidden belonging to fall out.

“I just don't really have stuff from when I was younger and... Generally I don't keep things. If I don't want it I'll pass it to someone else or donate it. At this point people just buy me shower products or drink.” He filled two bowls with ice cream and carried them over with a pair of spoons.

“Ah, that makes sense. I thought your hands were suspiciously soft.” Himchan took one bowl from him, eyes lighting up happily.

“You think my hands are soft?” Yongguk sat beside him, chuckling a little.

“Yes! I was so jealous for the longest time. I was always thinking: 'He clearly doesn't bother with fancy products or anything, but he's got the softest skin. How is that?' And now I know it's because instead of getting cushions and mirrors and vases lamps, you have gifted lotion.” He triumphantly put a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth.

Yongguk snorted. “Well if I have no other physically redeeming features, I now know my skin is at least soft.”

“What do you mean 'no other physically redeeming features'?” Himchan asked around a mouthful of ice cream, brow furrowed.

“Ahh... Well... I know I'm not the most attractive person... I know that people get a weird impression of me when they look at me...” He put a considerable amount of ice cream into his mouth, avoiding Himchan's stare.

“Wait.” Himchan squinted at him, lowering the spoon back into the bowl. “Are you telling me you don't think you're attractive?”

Yongguk shrugged, still not meeting his gaze.

“Bbang, you're like... One of the hottest people I've ever met.” He watched Yongguk's face slowly turn red and felt a great rush of satisfaction. “Seriously. You can turn on that whole tough guy look but as soon as you drop it you're this ridiculously attractive guy with an amazing smile.”

“Stoooop,” Yongguk groaned half-heartedly, hiding behind his hand a little.

“I am not stopping until you understand! You're really hot and you're funny and so genuinely nice it's almost hard to believe.”

“Stoooooop...”

“Your only fault that I can think of is your absolute lack of possessions.”

Yongguk snorted.

“I'm serious! Where are your things? Do you just own loads of embarrassing things so you've locked them away in your room?”

Yongguk was trying not to choke on his ice cream as he stifled laughs.

“Is it full of weird toys you're scared I'll judge?”

Yongguk waved a hand, trying very hard not to knock his bowl to the floor as laughter shook his body.

“Or is it full of bodies of all the other men you've deceived into thinking you're a great guy but you're actually an axe murderer?”

“I'm not an axe murderer!” Yongguk managed to defend himself around laughs, eyes wide.

“Ah, that's what you want me to think. Don't try to fool me with that cute laugh of yours.”

“My laugh isn't cute...”

“Yes it is. It's really cute! C'mon, keep laughing, it's really nice~” Himchan set the bowl aside and leaned close to wrap his arms around Yongguk. “C'mon~”

The older couldn't help but laugh, leaning away from the contact a little. “Ah! What are you doing? If you tickle me I'll throw you out!”

“Aw, don't be like that.” Himchan pouted up at him and Yongguk had to look away before his heart exploded.

“Fine. But I'm not cute.”

“Okay. Just really hot then.” Himchan's fox-like grin spread across his cheeks.

Yongguk's face burned. “Fine.” He gently let a hand settle on Himchan's shoulder. “Thank you... For... Thinking that.”

“For thinking you're hot?”

“Yeah. It...” He cleared his throat awkwardly. “It means a lot, coming from someone like you.”

“From someone like me?” Himchan laughed a little as he looked up at Yongguk, “What's that supposed to mean?”

“Well... You're obviously... Really attractive. Everyone thinks you're really attractive. When someone attractive thinks you're attractive it's a nice feeling. It's like having a really talented musician liking your mixtapes.”

“Woah, hey.” Himchan straightened up and looked him in the eyes. “It's nothing like that. What I look like has nothing to do with what you look like.”

“But it's still meaningful if-”

“No.” Himchan raised a finger and pressed it on Yonggk's mouth, effectively shutting him up. “Listen. You need to not put me up on some kind of pedestal, okay? I fit some criteria for what people decided is attractive. Whatever. That doesn't make me somehow better than people. My face is just what people see and it's not who I am; so you can appreciate it all you like but... Don't confuse it with it being a part of my actual... Self – or whatever. Just focussing on it makes me feel like I'm some kind of... Trophy. I don't want that. Not any more.”

“Any more?” Yongguk asked quietly, lips almost kissing Himchan's finger as he spoke.

“I've said too much.” Himchan dropped his hand and leaned back. He combed his fingers through his hair, trying to force it back into its hold.

“Is this what happened with your ex?”

Himchan didn't reply.

“I heard a few things...” Yongguk very carefully reached out and took hold of Himchans's hand, taking it away from his hair.

Himhan let him, though he didn't hold his hand back. “Who told you?”

“Daehyun.”

“Of course he did.” Himchan sighed. “What did he tell you?”

“Not a whole lot, just that things went badly. He showed me a few photos of you two together.”

Himchan pursed his lips, feeling slightly sick at the thought of Yongguk seeing those gaunt cheeks, the empty space in his skinny jeans, the hollow beneath his shirt. “Ah. Yeah. Back when I was skinnier and prettier.”

“I don't know...” Yongguk shifted a little under Himchan's narrow gaze. “Skinnier, yes, but... Not prettier.”

Himchan looked down at their hands, feeling his face heat up.

“Do you want to talk about your ex or... Would you rather not?” Yongguk played with Himchan's fingers, admiring their slender dexterity.

“I- I probably should tell you about it all, otherwise we end up with all of my dumb baggage you don't know about and it causes way more problems than it already has and...” Himchan waved his free hand, “Yeah. Yeah I'll tell you about it.”

“Do you want a warm drink?”

“Nah, I've still got ice cream.” Himchan smiled and leaned against him, “Could do with a hug though.”

Yongguk laughed and pulled him close, an arm wrapped around his middle. Himchan spooned some ice cream into his mouth. They were quiet for some time, but Yongguk didn't feel the need to push Himchan to talk about it. Slowly they relaxed against each other, and then Himchan began speaking.

“The day we broke up, I was in the hospital. I'd collapsed at work and been rushed off, and I woke up alone with a drip attached to me. I asked a doctor what happened and... The list was endless. Low iron, low sugar, low everything. I was horribly underweight and the stress of having a social life, working and not eating enough just was too much. I wasn't there too long, just enough to make sure I wouldn't faint again. Jongup dropped by after his classes to check on me, but that was it.

When I eventually got home, I got a call. It was him, seeing if I was still alive or whatever. I don't really remember it very well, I was still a bit out of it, but... I remember him saying 'Now you know where your limit is.'” He paused here to spoon more ice cream into his mouth.

Yongguk stared down at him, silent, shocked.

“I just ended it. I'd been with him for a really long time, and I thought we'd eventually move in together and maybe get married but... I guess that was just when I realised that he didn't care about me at all. Then things just sort of started... Clicking together in my head.

I wasn't allowed to go anywhere without him, and if he went out I had to go with him even if I hated the company. I couldn't say no to him, I didn't know how and he knew exactly what to say to make me do whatever he wanted. He was charming and handsome... I was infatuated with him, and he knew this. He was clever about it. Never too dramatic so that I would notice, but apparently not subtle enough for other people not to notice. I think my friends tried to warn me something was off but... In the end they slowly just sort of left.

It was just me and him most of the time. He always got his way: we went out only when he wanted to, ate whatever he wanted to eat, dressed only in clothes he thought was attractive, had only when he wanted it... I wasn't allowed to ask for anything or change anything or demand anything. I was just his toy.”

Himchan paused here and Yongguk pulled him a little closer, rubbing his arm. He watched Himchan breathe slowly, the musician's lips twitching a little and eyes closed tight. There was another long silence until the younger felt ready to speak again.

“I guess after that I just... Couldn't handle the idea of it happening again. That night I just freaked out at the idea of you fixating on my appearances. I thought I was being naïve again and I was going to be manipulated into another nightmare...” He turned and pressed his face against Yongguk's chest. “I'm sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologise for.” Yongguk pressed a kiss to the top of Himchan's head.

“Ugh, I came 'round to yours and ended up making everything miserable.” Himchan laughed a little, straightening up a little to wipe his eyes as discretely as he could manage. “I'm such a disaster today.”

“Hey, we're fine. Look, you've still got ice cream left,” He took the spoon from Himchan's bowl, dug out a slightly melted lump and held it out.

Himchan rolled his eyes a little and cupped one hand under the spoon so it wouldn't drip. He took the spoon into his mouth and Yongguk slowly pulled it out. They gazed at each other for a moment.

Yongguk snorted.

“What?”

“You've got-” Yongguk sniggered a little at the pale streak on the side of Himchan's mouth.

“What? What is it?” Himchan touched his cheeks and lips a few times, missing it entirely.

“Hey, let me-” He gently took hold of Himchan's hands, moving them from his face. Without thinking, he leaned in and pressed his lips to the corner of Himchans mouth, clearing away the smeared ice cream. When he pulled back, Himchan's face had gone red. He stiffened a little. “Ah, sorry, that was-”

He was cut off by Himchan pulling him into a kiss, their lips moulding together, still sweet with the taste of ice cream. Himchan's hands were in his hair and his own hands on his arms and their legs pressing into each other in a way he really didn't mind.

Himchan yanked him closer and they fell back onto the lounger, teeth clashing against each other and foreheads bumping but neither felt the need to stop. Their tongues met, hands roaming over chests and backs, legs tangling. By the time Yongguk pulled back to breathe, Himchan's lips were puffy and hair ruffled.

“I... I don't think I'm ready to go any further,” Himchan admitted a little shyly.

“That's fair.” Yongguk leaned in and kissed Himchan's jaw. “Will you stay the night anyway?”

Himchan blinked at him, thinking. “Yeah, sure. I could do with falling asleep in the arms of a man who isn't younger than me in front of a movie.”

Yongguk gave him a perplexed expression.

“My friend Jongup. It's nothing to worry yourself about.”

“Right.” Yongguk snorted.

“I'll introduce you sometime.”

“Can't wait, I can ask him why you're falling asleep in each other's arms.”

Himchan gave his arm a playful slap as he chuckled. “Shut up and kiss me again.”

“Gladly,” Yongguk half sang before leaning back down, capturing his lips in another kiss.  

Soundtrack: Ionna Ginka - Gone (Snow White and the Huntsman OST)